Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, music, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Hold Factor

I really was going to tell a tale of hairspray and the difference between the level of hold, or hold factor different sprays have, alas, that will have to be another tale for another time. As I began to write about hold factors, I found myself thinking about the hold factor of people, emotions and thoughts we allow in our lives. …what can I say, I have had 4 cups of coffee and this is how my mind works. As you know, I manage a Retail shop/Salon. The Salon is a place that men and women come to ย feel better about themselves, to improve their reflection, to find what was once lost. Some days, ours is a place of refuge from the pushes and pulls of their daily lives. It is their escape from whatever may have a hold on them that day – be it a sick child, an aging parent and more often than not, an escape from what they really think of themselves – or what they think they are supposed to think of themselves.

For those of you familiar with my Salon Tales, you know that I haven’t always been the confident, classy, sassy and a tad smart-assy woman that I am today. I have been the young woman who missed out on trips to the beach because I wasn’t “beach body ready”. I have been the woman who was afraid to leave the house without her make up on. I have been the mother feeling like a failure because I thought it was protocol to drop my child off at the Birthday party, not stay and stand in line for my turn at pin the tail on the donkey. …speaking of which, whatever happened to dropping your kid off at their friends birthday party and picking them up when the party is over?…back to the tale at hand. I have been the woman who was judged because her 3 year old daughter knew the words to Domino by KISS. I have been the woman who put her dreams on the back burner out of fear of judgement from those who told me that “as a mother, to be fulfilled, your children should be enough.”. – now I know that they were drinking their own ย kool aid. ย  …wait for it…there you go.

Today’s tale is aimed at all the Ladies and Gents (yes Gents – men have hold factors too Ladies), to remind you that you are enough, that you are worth what ever you think you are worth – and only your opinion matters.

– For all the mothers out there – we are supposed to be in this together. If you are a stay at home mom or a working mom – we love our kids the same, we have the same worries and hopes for our children, we our mothers – no better, no worse. I stayed home with my daughter until she was 5 – that was a personal choice that worked best for my family. Never once did I shun the working mom – if anything I asked if she needed my help. An additional tale for your viewing pleasure;

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/09/06/beware-of-yoga-pants-ponytails/

– Do you have a dream? Is there something you have always wanted to do, ever since you can remember? Then do it. As parents, the best thing we can do for our children is pursue our passions and chase our dreams. How are our children going to learn to dream if we don’t show them how?

– Go to the beach. Just go. Forget about being “beach body ready” and go and have fun. No matter what your weight or bust size – we all get sand in our suits.

– Unless your name is on the birthday invitation to little Johnny’s birthday party – you do not have to stay at the party. Trust me, the parents that frown when you drop off your child and ask “what time should I pick them up?” are wishing they had the guts to do the same.

– Ladies and Gents – let your spouses/partners choose the hair style they like, that they feel most comfortable with, that makes them feel desirable. It doesn’t matter how good you think a certain cut will look on them if it makes them feel ugly and inadequate.

– The above goes for stylists as well. Never let a stylist tell you what cut you should have. It is a stylist’s job to help you find the look you want, not tell you the look you want. If you aren’t sure about making a drastic change with your hair, don’t do it.

– I once read that “worrying is praying for what you don’t want” – remember that the next time you worry about the opinions of others.

– If you want to change your hair color – go for it.*at the Salon. Becoming a blonde was the best thing I ever did. It hides my gray’s and I do have a lot of fun …proving that blondes are NOT dumb.

– Introduce your children to music, from Mozart to Metallica. Music will open their minds and lift their spirits, no matter what the genre.

In the wee small hours of the morning, all that matters is what you think. All that matters is you have done your best and that you will continue to strive for better. All that matters is that you are kind. All that should be important is what you deem to be so. The only hold factor you should be concerned about is the hold factor of your favorite styling product.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Reflection

“Looking through the crowd, I search for somethin’ else, every time I turn around I run into myself”. – Dixie Chicks

One of the hardest jobs is being a parent. We worry if we are raising our kids right, if they are in the right school, if they have nice friends, if they are eating all the four food groups. I don’t know about you all but what I find the most difficult about being a parent is letting my daughter figure out who she is, and constantly reminding myself that she is not me and may not have the same issues that I had at her age. (just because I was smoking and skipping class doesn’t mean she will…actually she has a perfect attendance record…and yes, she is mine. I have the records to prove it).

At least once a week I meet a mother/daughter duo and you can tell the mother is trying to correct the mistakes of her youth through her daughter. One young lady came in asking about going blonde and before I could offer her an appointment with one of our stylists “I bleached my hair in my teens and ruined it so there is no way in hell I am letting my daughter do it.” is what I heard from the mother. It was at this moment that that the daughter looked down at her ripped up vintage chucks with no hope of ever raising her chin. So, me being me, I asked the mom if she had gone blonde at a salon, to which she said “well…no.”. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the daughter begin to raise her chin. I let the mom know that my “blonde” was done in our Salon and she did say “your hair doesn’t look damaged”…now the chin was completely raised and there was the beginning of a smile. I went on to offer our Salon price list and the card of our stylist and let them know they could make an appointment for a free consultation. I looked at the daughter who was now smiling and let her know that if she went blonde there would be up keep and she would need to take care of her hair with professional products like SOMA Blonde Silver Shampoo once a week and Joico’s Kpak Revitaluxe once a week as well.

We were teens once, we know what they can get up to, hell, we got up to it. As parents, all we can do is educate and enlighten, and then hope for the best. What we must not do is assume that our kids are going to do what we did. We must not assume because we smoke and drank at 15 that they will. We must not tell our daughter’s that cutting off their hair was a “huge mistake” because we thought it was when we were 14. We must not tell our son’s that a mohawk makes them “look like a thug” because that is what your parents thought.

Your children are a reflection of you, they are not you, they are their own person, and maybe, just maybe, they will make better choices in their teens then we did in ours.