beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

An attack of thanks

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I live in Canada and this coming weekend is our Thanksgiving holiday. This has been an interesting week for me. You see, in 2011, on the Thanksgiving weekend, my husband had a heart attack. I was at work on the Saturday when he called to say he had come home from work early, he wasn’t feeling well. He told me how he was feeling and I told him to get to the hospital and  would meet him there. Thankfully my mother lives down the street so she drove him and kept a loving watch over our daughter. After I called my boss who told me “close the shop…don’t worry about it.” a woman walked in the shop saying she was looking for a blow dryer. I told her I was closing up because my husband was on the way to the hospital, “It looks like a heart attack” I said, to which she responded “So you’re not gonna sell me a blow dryer?” I shit you not. That is what she said. I told her to get the hell out. It just came out. All I could think of was my husband, my daughter, my life, the feeling of my husband hugging me, the way his hand looked and felt in mine and I needed to get to him. As she left the store she shook her hands at her husband saying “she won’t sell me a hair dryer!”. Wow.

Long story short, no damage was done to the heart muscle, hubby had an angioplasty done. Seems his D2 artery was malformed from birth, hence the heart attack. Eight days later my Dad had a heart attack. He had an extra artery that was blocked. Again, no damage to the heart muscle. Those two, always competing for my attention.

So, as I said earlier, it’s been a strange week for me. As strange as this sounds, I am thankful for all of it, the heart attacks, the rude customer, all of it. Because of my experience with the doctor’s and the hospitals, I was able to help my mother, I could honestly say “I understand.”. I was reminded of all the reasons I love my husband. I remembered all the special memories of my father, things I hadn’t thought of in decades. I was able to show my daughter strength and how to look fear in the eye and kick it’s ass. I am thankful for such an understanding boss and the support of the best Salon team in existence. I am thankful for the “blow dryer rant” for now I am able to deal with crazy, rude customers…it just rolls of my back.

What I am getting at is this. Don’t wait until the Thanksgiving holiday to be thankful for what you have. No, I am not having an Oprah “AHA” moment and no, I haven’t found my savior…it is the right thing to do, plain and simple. Live your life, love your family and yourself, do what is best for you and your loved ones,hug your children, visit your parents, laugh every day. Oh…and it won’t kill you to wait for a blow dryer…trust me.

 

beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

A work in progress

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Nobody’s perfect. Everyone has issues on a daily basis. Those who say they don’t are either lying or they are on a heavy dose of something ending in “zac” or enjoy a bottle or four of Merlot. Being in the beauty industry and managing a Salon/retail shop, I see a lot. I see the good, the bad and the ugly and I’m not talking about the hairstyles and dye jobs (although some are quite interesting) – I’m talking about how people talk to each other and how they treat each other.

Not to sound all Mary Poppins or Mother Theresa (take your pick), it’s time to grow up and be nice. Seriously, it’s that simple. We all have issues, we all have family torment, we all have an ill family member, we all have insecurities, we all have bad hair days and don’t want to open the bathroom door. When you see someone struggling with their life, don’t go and point out their short comings, believe me, they are quite aware of them. How about giving them a compliment or telling them a joke or bringing them a coffee. Hell, send them a text or a tweet saying “Hey”. Sometimes one kind word out of the blue can make or break their day.

We are all a work in progress. I just had my daughter help me with some photos and after I said “Should I have more make up on?” to which she gasped. “See” I told her “everyone has issues. It’s okay.”. We all have our demons that we battle on a daily basis. Maybe your demon is that package of Oreo’s in the pantry, maybe it’s that NEED for the newest nail polish collection or maybe your demon is pain killers or self mutilation. The way I see it, a demon is a demon and no one’s personal struggle and daily fight is worse or better than anyone else’s…a struggle is a struggle.

Be kind. Your kindness could be the only glimmer of hope someone will see today.

 

 

beauty, communication, Fashion, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Purge the Vanity

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So, there I was, going through my closet seeing what still fits, what I still like and what I am ready to part with. Fall is upon us and as with any season change I find myself scouring the bible for fashion ideas…the bible being the September issue of Vogue. I don’t know if turning forty has anything to do with this but I have no need to hold onto anything that does not bring me happiness. Maybe it was my husband and my father having a heart attack 8 days apart last October. Maybe it’s both. Anyways, I found myself looking at sweaters that I have had for over 4 years and wondering “what the hell was I thinking?” and then realizing it wasn’t me thinking, it was whomever I was shopping with that particular day and listening to what they thought was right for me instead of what I thought was right for me. Which got me to thinking about my vanity and all the products that I bought because of the same reason I own a sweater that makes by breasts look so big that Dolly Parton would blush. (trust me…it’s not pretty…even my husband looked on in horror and my daughter ran out of the room screaming).

I know you have all read about or heard of cleaning out your closet. I think it is time for a new tradition…clean out your vanity and rid yourself of any product that doesn’t bring you happiness. You know the products I am talking about…

– that facial cream that your mother gave you – the one that every time you unscrew the lid you hear your mother saying “hopefully this will make you look less tired.”

– that organic deodorant that promised all day odorless freshness and you ended up smelling like the onion ring guy at the county fair.

– that eye cream that promised to eliminate the dark circles under your eyes and it did…and it also puffed them up so much you looked like you went a few rounds with Apollo Creed.

– that waterproof mascara that took 20 make up remover wipes, 30 baby wipes, baby oil, soap and 25 minutes each eye to remove.

– those “all day freshness” panty liners  – the only thing they kept fresh was your anger each time they stuck to your pants or your butt…yeah, I said it. We all know it happens.

– the lipstick that your best friend told you to buy so you would look “hot” for the guy you wanted to impress at the party…the same guy she took home.

– the mousse that your so called “friend” told you would be good to use so your hair would be so big that no one would notice your butt. (personal experience with that one…I heard she now lives in a trailer with 10 kids…that’s what I heard).

– the baby blue eye shadow. Enough said.

– the banana clip from 9th. grade. I know it’s painful…it is time to let it go.

What I am getting at is this…be happy. Set up your life so you can smile, not wince. When putting on face cream you should hear nothing but your own inner voice saying how beautiful you are. When putting on lipstick the only thought going through your head is “I like this color”. Take a look at what is residing in your vanity cupboards and drawers. When you hold the product in your hand – if it makes you anything but happy – throw it away, or give it to a friend who may want it.

Make it a point of your bedtime ritual to put the negative to rest as well.

beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Forget me not

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I hear the familiar chirp of the shop’s door chime and before I can greet my customer all I hear is “I need shampoo for gray hair and Vitae Hairspray.”. So, I take a breath and ask if there is a particular purple shampoo she prefers to which she snaps “I need a shampoo for gray hair! Didn’t you hear me?”. So I apologize and explain that purple shampoo is for gray hair to eliminate the brassy build up. That is when her lip started to quiver. I asked her if she was alright and if I could get her something to which she responded “I am sorry for snapping. I just put my mom in a rest home. She has Alzheimer’s.”. Before I knew it I was holding her hand. You see, I have personal experience with this horrible diagnosis. I have lost two grandfathers to this ailment and it is heartbreaking to watch. Heartbreaking.

She explained to me that she wanted the products her mom liked because her mom always liked having her hair just so and her makeup done everyday.  Her mother thought she was her hairdresser, she forgets she is her daughter. (this is how I know there is a higher power because I didn’t break down, I was able to keep it together for this woman.). You see, when one suffers from Alzheimer’s they regress to their youth, sometimes even a child like state, as it was with my grandfathers. This woman’s mother thought she was in her 20’s and kept wondering why someone put a wig on her.

The reason for today’s blog is this…be kind. Be kind to everyone. We never know what is happening to one another. If I had taken this woman’s attitude personally I never would have heard her story and given her a hand to hold. We never know when we may be able to offer someone comfort and shelter from what is waiting for them in their daily life.

beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

What would Leah do?

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I am sure by now that sometime in your life you have heard the phrase “What would Jesus do?”. Well, I understand and respect that is how some people live their lives and base their decisions. I try to live my life by “What would Leah do?”. You see, Leah was my grandmother’s name and she was the kindest person I have ever known and the most beautiful woman I have ever known…inside and out. Her hair was always set and she always applied her “liquid beauty” (foundation) everyday, and always left a pink or red kiss mark on my cheek. She had fur coats in her closet and always wore an apron in the kitchen. She and my grandpa would have their 5:00 o’clock Manhattan every night before dinner (if you were lucky – you got the maraschino cherry) and she always dressed for going out. In my eyes, she was glamorous.

Every week she would go to the Salon for her set and if I was lucky I got to go too. Going out with her was like being a part of a celebrity’s entourage (of course riding in her Cadillac didn’t hurt). Everywhere we went, be it the grocery store or the post office, everyone knew who she was. She always remembered their name and made them feel like they were the only person in the world and that everything they said was important. I can remember watching their conversation, and watching the other person’s eyes start to sparkle when they realized my grandmother remembered them and remembered their stories and I can remember thinking to myself “I want to do that”.

She always remembered birthdays, for family and friend alike. When you and life were having a battle and life was winning, a homemade lemon loaf or a kind note of support would appear at your door. When a grandchild needed a tissue one always appeared – sometimes from her sleeve if it was the fall or her cleavage if it was the summer. (no sweater to tuck away a tissue). When I bought my first home she arrived with 3 gifts for me – a milkglass vase, wood hangers (so clothes would hang properly) and a full length mirror. I was told to never leave the house without checking the latter.

Be kind. Smile as you pass others on the street. When you ask someone how they are – mean it and listen to their response. Before you leave the house, check the full length mirror and ask “What would Leah do?”

health and wellness, lifestyle

Kindness 101

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I sat down to write about products today and as I began to write I realized, nope. That’s not what today’s tale is going to be about. Today’s tale is about kindness. You see, I know you are expecting funny tales of my daily escapades in my shop or tales of products and how to use them. Today I feel I must write about kindness. You see I believe that kindness is a HUGE factor in beauty, be it physical beauty or spiritual beauty.

When I speak of kindness, I don’t mean holding the door open for an elderly person – that is called courtesy, I don’t mean avoid name calling – that is called having manners. I am speaking of kindness – truly listening to the person who is speaking to you, being happy for them and their achievements, how ever trivial you may think they are. Lifting someone’s spirit’s up – not pushing them down to where it makes you feel comfortable. Honestly, everyday I see or hear people choosing to be unkind and it stills astonishes me. Yep, I’m going to be 40 in a few weeks and I still don’t understand why anyone over the age of 12 chooses to be mean or chooses to belittle the dreams of others.

At least once a week I meet a woman who has changed her cut or color and loved it just to have her husband or best friend tell her it is a disaster or a huge mistake. While I help them wipe away their tears (yes…9 out of 10 times they are crying), I ask them “Do you like your hair?” and they say “Yes, but…” and before I let her finish, I tell her, “If you like it, who cares what they think anyway? If you are happy with your new look, that is what is important. You must do what you like, because in the wee small hours of the morning, it is you and you alone with yourself and your thoughts. People are gonna talk anyways, why not really give ’em something to talk about?”. Then we laugh together, and I help her find a product to help keep her new look going, or sometimes I just give her a hug and a tissue and tell her “they need our sympathy, you can’t fix stupid”.

Not to sound all hippie, gonna “buy the world a coke” kind of thing, I want you to try something. Next time you hear someone excited about something, be excited with them. I don’t care if they are excited because they found a dollar on the street or their child just got into Harvard or they finally had the guts for fire engine red streaks put through their hair. Whatever it is, it means something to that person and who are you or I to take that happiness away from them? If we can be happy for a child who has just found a nickel and thinks they are rich and we can join in their enthusiasm, why not be happy for someone who has a dream and has the guts to chase after it? We have all been there, so happy and excited over something and somebody comes along and dumps on it. Being cruel and unkind is ugly, not one ounce of beauty in that kind of behavior.

Be happy for others. Just be happy for them. It’s really that simple.