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Womankind?

I want you to picture two women in a shop. Another woman walks in and recognizes her friend and stops to say hello. Pleasantries are shared. Introductions are made. “So great to see you! You look terrific! Lets catch up over coffee…soon!”. As our third lovely lass is leaving the shop, her heel not even over the threshold, the two women begin “Did you see her hair?”. “Hmmppt…doesn’t she think she is all that since losing weight.”. “I wonder who she slept with to get that job?”. “What’s with the red hair? Doesn’t she know how foolish she looks?”. “I think she drinks too much.” as they saunter up to the counter.

This is a sampling of the daily, yes daily conversations I hear and am sadly sometimes apart of, everyday. I am not proud of this and when I realize what I am a part of, I try to stop it, or at least my part in it. Once I realize what is happening, I am usually excluded from these conversations soon after they begin because I tend to call people out on their shit. The minute I ask “What makes you say that?” or “How is she doing anyway?” or “Oh good for her! That’s awesome!” most women look at me like I have 3 heads and am speaking Chinese, then begin to carry on the conversation with whomever is closest and I am slowly but surely “uninvited” to the conversation.

Ever since I was a child, I never understood meanness or bullies. In fact, I was the kid who would end up getting in a scrap with the school yard bully. I don’t know why, I just had no room for someone being mean to someone else. I would always give them fair warning about what was to come. Some listened. Some did not. Jeans were torn. Eyes were blackened. Tears were shed (of course I held my in until no one was around, had to keep up appearances). In the end, the bully started to leave more kids alone. Some times we ended up becoming friends. Fast forward 30 years and I still cannot understand nor abide meanness and bullying. On the cusp of 44, I can no longer tell the bully to meet me behind the school, but I can speak my mind and speak up for the woman who is not present for the dissection of her image, her decisions and her life. I don’t know what it is about women, we are the first to unite against any man who disrespects a woman, yet we are also the first to disrespect a fellow woman for her choice of skirt length or hair color.

A few years ago, when I saw and heard what my then 15 year old daughter and girls her age were going through, Sunday Confession was born.

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2013/06/09/sunday-confession/

Today’s I have some reminders for those of us over 21, who should know better and should do better. Be kind. Seriously, it really is that easy.

  • Primary school playground antics belong on the playground.
  • High School is over.
  • Life is not a popularity contest.
  • Gossip is tacky
  • Do not be two faced, with anyone. There is not enough makeup in the world to cover that up.
  • If you see someone you don’t like when you are at the grocery store, do not cower under your shopping cart in hopes that they don’t see you. Do what your mother taught you, smile and say hello as you pass them.
  • When a woman changes her hair or hair color and loves it, do not ask her “Does your husband still kiss you with that hair?” – I have had more than one woman ask me this gem…and the answer is yes, every day.
  • If you wouldn’t give another woman your opinion to her face, please refrain from tweeting it or making it your status update.
  • You do not have to agree or respect another woman’s choices, nor does she have to agree with or respect yours.
  • When the day is done, who cares if you breast feed or bottle feed your baby. All that matters is that they are being fed….and it’s no one’s business what you choose to do with your baby.
  • When a woman loses weight, do not automatically assume her marriage is in trouble – another gem of a question/accusation tossed my way.
  • Reading “50 Shades of Grey” does not mean a woman is easy. …if anything it probably means her partner is very happy.
  • No one is what they “post” to be. (cannot take credit for that one, came across it a while back and love it)
  • When you hear of another woman’s accomplishment, celebrate it and her.
  • Unless you are the Madame of a brothel, it’s really none of your business who a woman has or has not slept with.
  • If you don’t want everyone knowing your business, don’t tell them.

The next time you are about to belittle another woman’s accomplishment, her life choices, her sexual partner or her hair color, remember this…what you say about the other woman says more about you than them.

 

 

 

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Attention

Well Beauties, yours truly is having a moment. A moment I gotta say something and those who know me know I gotta say it. I gotta.

Lately, I don’t know if has to do with my age (gonna be 44 in August) or my lack of a uterus (haven’t had to pay that monthly bill in over 7 years) or if it is as simple as I have a low, very low tolerance for bullshit, but I seem to have no room for those who lack accountability for their actions, nor do I have any room for those who are unkind.

Working in a Salon, you hear it all.  You hear about the celebrations of life, the trips, the new house and births. You hear about the not so good stuff, illnesses, divorces and deaths of which I have all the patience and time in the world to listen to. Where my attention begins to dwindle? When lack of kindness and accountability enter into the conversation.

A few  weeks ago a woman and her friend came in the shop and she was complaining that her fiancée got upset that she took out her phone as he was proposing. “I wanted to capture the moment for my Instagram and he got mad at me! He actually asked me if I could wait until he finished the question. Can you believe it?” …that he continued the proposal? (gotta admit, that was what I was thinking). She was actually mad at him. She kept going on about how he ruined the memory. Yep. He and he alone ruined it. I just stood there, trying not to show it on my face. This woman was so caught up in herself that she couldn’t see her part in any of it, well, except for her Instagram pic. She later complained that it wasn’t fair that her favorite OPI shade had been discontinued and got mad at me that there wasn’t anything I could do for her. …by the way, her phone never left her hand and with every third word spoken, her eyes looked at her phone. …sigh.

I get the importance of social media and the lure of smartphones. I am a blogger, a Retail Consultant and a Salon manager so I get it, I do. I also get that as important as they seem, there are other more important things in life, like  my loved ones, being kind, being present.

Being me, I have compiled a little list for you all, some daily reminders if you will. Feel free to share – no pun intended;

  • before you tell a story, be sure it is yours to tell
  • when you hurt someone’s feelings, apologize, to their face.
  • when someone is speaking to you, put down your phone and look at them. They are speaking to you, not texting you, there is no need to look at your phone.
  • not everything needs to be shared. I am so pleased your toddler pooed on the potty…didn’t need to see it on my timeline.
  • it is not the salesperson’s fault that your favorite polish is discontinued.
  • when you are getting your hair cut, put down your phone. You may not realize it, but when you text, your head moves.
  • do not take a selfie during your bikini wax. #toomuchinformation
  • if you wouldn’t chase someone down the street asking if they like your picture, it shouldn’t matter if they like it on facebook
  • life is not “unfair” because your fiancée wanted to share the proposal with you, and you alone.
  • you may like to crush candy, others do not. Please stop sending candy Crush invites
  • if you don’t want the opinions of others, you may want to rethink ending your post with #whatsagirltodo
  • you do not have to agree with everything you read and see on social media…you also don’t have to let everyone know that you don’t agree

Look up once and a while. Think before you post. Ask before you snap a pic. Be kind, plain and simple.

 

 

 

 

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Monday Motivator – Joico INSTATINT

Here we are again Beauties, it’s Monday. The sun is shining yet many I have met this morning are glum. Spring has finally sprung yet many have lost the spring in their step. Over the past weeks I have had many women call me brave because I have colored some of my hair magenta (courtesy of the FAB! Color Intensity line by Joico!).  I always thank them and follow up their compliment by telling them they could add some flair to their hair as well, and I am met with the same answers every time …  “Oh, I couldn’t do that”, “What would people say?” or the ever present “What if I think I like blue and then once I’ve done it I hate it?!”. Well ladies, and gents, have no fear for Joico INSTATINT is here!

joico INSTATINT INSTATINT offers five FAB! shades;

  • Fiery Coral (red)
  • Pink
  • Orchid (purple)
  • Sapphire Blue (a denim blue)
  • Mermaid Blue ( a turquoise blue)
For all those who are a tad skeptical or a wee bit worried about adding some flair to your hair, Joico INSTATINT is your answer. Truly a no commitment color. Always dreamed of having blue hair, only to realize blue hair feels like a nightmare? No worries! Just wash it out and give the red a whirl! Yep, INSTATINT washes out in one shampoo, every time. Being me, I have compiled a quick go to list, a what’s what of INSTATINT;
  • applied color lasts up to three days
  • washes out in 1 shampoo
  • is color safe = will not alter your existing hair color after INSTATINT is removed. Yes, it is safe for the blondest of blondes
  • easy to apply! Spray onto dry hair in short bursts. I prefer not to apply heat after color is applied, so I apply color after I am done with my flat iron.
  • the less you spray, the lighter the color.
  • the more you spray, the color becomes more vibrant
  • protect your clothing while applying the spray. Drape a towel over your shoulders.
  • color only lands where you direct it
  • does not stain your scalp, your hair line or your face
  • layer over existing vibrant shades to perk them up or to get you through until your next color appointment.
  • it is $10.45 a bottle. Yep! $10.45.
I am a week away from my color appointment and I gotta tell you, I love the Pink INSTATINT to keep my magenta looking vibrant. …I also added a touch of Mermaid Blue and Sapphire Blue because….why not 😉
Joico INSTATINT

 

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Monday Motivator – Joico Humidity Blocker

Well, here we are again. It’s Monday. Mother Nature is having an identity crisis. In my neck of the woods we have seen snow, rain, sleet, freezing rain, snow and rain once again in the last 12 hours…and just to add a little kick to her ever present weather humour, Mother Nature has decided to keep humidity in the air and in turn, in our hair. Rain and humidity are in the forecast for the next few days, so for all of you who are trying to figure out how to tell the boss you will be late for work because you cannot get out of your car for fear of frizz and for all the Mom’s fretting over why you chose this week of all weeks to volunteer to chaperone a school field trip, fear and fret nor more! Let me introduce you to Joico Humidity Blocker.

Joico Humidity Blocker

A hidden gem in the Joico styling line. Joico Humidity Blocker literally creates a humidity block around each strand of hair, creating an invisible shield over your beloved tresses. It locks out the humidity and moisture in the air which means no frizz. At all. Created for all hair types, from our girls with curls to our ladies who are a fan of the flat iron, this gem is a perfect addition to your daily hair care routine. Joico Humidity Blocker offers a long lasting light hold, so it can also be used as a hairspray, for those who prefer a lighter hold to their hairspray.

For best results, use on dry hair. Once you have created the style you want for the day, and after all styling products have been applied, spray Joico Humidity Blocker all over your hair to lock out humidity and lock in your FAB! style.

From this day forward every time you hear “April showers bring May flowers”, you can rest assured that all the showers will bring are flowers, not frizz.

 

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Time to Shine

 

After its winter slumber, spring is upon us. The birds are chirping, the days are getting longer, everything seems better and brighter.  For many of us, the harshness of the winter weather, the dry blast of heat from the furnace and the ever present flat iron have become the enemy of our beloved tresses. The sun may be shining longer and brighter, our hair, not so much…until now. Let me introduce to you, from the SarynaKey Damage Repair line, your new best friend. Meet SarynaKey Damage Repair Gloss Spray.

SarynaKey Damage Repair Gloss Spray

SarynaKey Damage Repair Gloss Spray contains the healing benefits of Shea Butter, vitamins, amino acids and proteins that safe guard your hair and keep it hydrated. Healing and repairing the split ends that go along with dry, damaged hair all the while delivering a fantastic, natural shine. Formulated for all hair types, its lightweight formula will not weigh down fine hair, yet is potent enough for thick, coarse hair. No greasy residue and no brassy effect on blondes. It also contains UV filters to protect your color from the sun and environmental changes.

Some of my FAB! SarynaKey Damage Repair Gloss Spray Spring & Summer tips!

  • Apply pool side to help protect your color from the damage of chlorine and salt water * the chlorine/salt will adhere to the shine spray more than your hair = less damage to your hair and keeps your color vibrant.
  • Take it with you to the beach! Apply to your hair to protect your color from the sun’s U.V. rays.
  • After a day out at the beach or on the boat, spray on your hair as an instant refresher.
  • Your ends are looking a little fuzzy and you can’t get into the Salon for a trim? Spray a little SarynaKey Damage Repair Gloss Spray in your hands and rub into the ends of your hair = no more fuzzy ends and you are ready for a night on the town.

Beautiful, silky, shiny hair every day, thanks to SarynaKey.

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Man in the Mirror

In the age of equality, I feel I must write about this today. Today’s tale is for those who want to like their reflection. For those who want to turn heads. For those who want a compliment on their appearance. For those who feel insecure about the changes in their skin, their hair and their bodies. For those who are trying to find the person they once knew, who don’t recognize that person looking back at them in the mirror. Today’s tale is for all the Gents. Yes, for the Gents.

As of late I have realized two things. First, all gents want to look good. Second, when a gent wants to look good, more often than not, he is teased or cursed for it. …and this needs to stop.

I met a man last week that was concerned about his hairline. He was so embarrassed by it, he wouldn’t remove his hat. I let him know that no one else was in the shop, that he didn’t have to take off his hat, he just had to lift the front a little so I could see his hairline, then I would know what products would be best for him. As he raised his cap, his eyes went directly to the floor. I thanked him, I looked at his hairline and told him to remove his hat, since there was nothing to be worried about. He looked at me and said “…but my wife told me last night that my hairline was receding and I should just shave my head.”. It was then that I got out my Nioxin manual and showed him pictures of receding hair lines and hair loss and asked him “Do you look like that?”. He smirked and said “No.”. I explained that yes, maybe his hair line was finer than it used to be, then I told him so was mine and lifted up my bangs to show him. Finally, consistent eye contact! After a few minutes, we decided an updated cut may be the answer and applying some product in his hair to keep it in place. I told him my secret “Getting my hair to look like this…it’s all smoke and mirrors my friend. Smoke and mirrors!” to which he laughed, then thanked me for my time and my courtesy and for not making him feel silly or vain.

I am about to tell you something so that you will know, and someday your children will know…men want to like their reflection, for themselves. Men feel just as insecure as women about aging. Men want their spouses/partners to find them sexy and attractive and worry that they don’t measure up – no pun intended – get your mind out of the gutter. Men know that their hair line is changing, they do not need it pointed out. Think about it ladies…what would happen if a man pointed out your ever so slightly saggy neck. If you are going to tell a man to “just shave your head” because he is beginning to thin a tad, you better be ready for him to say “just get botox” when a line is spotted.  Those familiar with my blog know I have written of this before, see link below;

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/11/02/receding-hairlines-and-muffin-tops/

…and from time to time, I will continue to write about this for making fun of anyone or belittling anyone who is trying to improve themselves is unkind and ugly. Plain and simple. If you want to be treated as an equal, be careful how you treat others, for you get what you give.

ThatGirlx3

 

 

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Monday Motivator – The New Orleans Collection by OPI

Here we are again, it’s Monday. In my neck of the woods Mother Nature forgot to check her calendar and our April is feeling and looking more like January. We woke to ice, snow and cold winds. I can’t help but wonder, if April showers bring May flowers, what on earth will April snow clippers bring? As I was shoveling, pouting and cursing this morning, I decided that no matter how cold my toes were and how much my nose dripped, I was going to make Spring happen…well at least for myself, and now for you too. In hopes of brightening your day and  motivating Mother Nature herself, let me introduce you to the latest collection from OPI. The Spring/Summer 2016 collection, the New Orleans collection!

OPI New Orleans    OPI New Orleans

To celebrate the spirit and hope of New Orleans with these FAB! bright shades that go by the names of “Let Me Bayou a Drink”, “Crawfishin’ for a Compliment”, “Got Myself into a Jam-balaya” and “Show us your Tips!”, I dare you not to get a smile on your face, a spring in your step and more than a glimmer of hope for Spring.

Besides having fun and fabulous shades in all their collections, there is something not many people know about OPI. Not only does OPI create heavily pigmented, long lasting chip resistant lacquers…all their lacquers are formaldehyde free – formaldehyde has never been an ingredient in OPI lacquers. *Some of OPI’s nail strengtheners/hardeners do contain formaldehyde – a level 4 times lower than the safe standard established by the FDA. For those looking for a formaldehyde free alternative, OPI Nail Envy Sensitive and Peeling and OPI Start to Finish Formaldehyde Free formula are your answers.  Another FAB! fact – in 2006 OPI reformulated their complete line to eliminate DBP(dibutyl phthalate) and Toluene.

With this wintery weather and another Monday upon us, how about you join me and OPI, “Take a Right on Bourbon” and turn your face towards the sun.