Beauty, communication, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Share and share alike

Everywhere you look, people are sharing. Sharing “likes” on Facebook, sharing pics on Instagram, tweeting their latest opinion on Twitter, snapping a moment on Snapchat. I often find myself wondering, what is real and what is not. Over the past weeks, you may have noticed that yours truly hadn’t been sharing much on my blog. It wasn’t for lack of material or opinions…as those who know me know all too well, when it comes to opinions I have a deep well to draw from. The reason for my lack of sharing you ask? My life and the lives of those I hold dear needed some attention, some tending to if you will. I also needed some tending to. I realized I had to take a step back and take a good look at what I was doing, where I was going and where I wanted to go. Now, before you all start to create scenario’s in your head to spill at the watercooler, let me make things clear. No one is ill. No one is leaving anyone. No one has been arrested. I came to realize that the powers that be that directed me onto this road after the closure of the shop had given me a gift. That gift being time.

I used to have time. I used to make time. I stayed home with my daughter until she was 5. Back then I would make time for me. I would make time for chats with my hubby, walks, coffee with friends, well, for life, plain and simple. I would make time for me so I could enjoy the time with my daughter, so I could enjoy the multitude of questions posed by a toddler – 100 before 7:00a.m. ( I counted one day – hey it was educational…I taught my daughter to count to 100 didn’t I?). Over the past weeks, I realized that I hadn’t made time since my daughter crossed the threshold into her kindergarten class. I went right back to work, full force. Always moving on to the next thing, finding the next idea. Over coming financial struggles, dealing with plant closures and lay offs, taking any amount of hours given so we could keep our home. Those days are long gone, but the memory of them still reside. I had put myself in survivor mode and forgotten to change the record. I had become so focused on working and keeping my house, paying off debts and having money in the bank that I hadn’t realized that I still had my house, the majority of the debt is paid off and there is money in the bank.

I realized something last week. I am always telling the women I know to make time for themselves. I thought I was. It wasn’t until last night as I was painting my nails that I realized this was the first time in along time I was painting my nails, for me. Not for an Instagram shot, not for work. For me. On the weekend, I was having a really good hair day, so I took a selfie. For me. Yes, I put it on Instagram, but I put it up there for me. If no one had liked it, I would have been fine with it. People liking it was a perk. I did it for me. I have adored photo’s since I was a child. I could and can sit and look at photo’s for hours. I wanted that picture because whenever I look at it, I remember how I felt and remembering happiness is a good thing.

The moral of today’s tale? If you are going to share your moments, your opinions, your snaps and your chats, make them worth remembering, for you. Create moments worth sharing. Do not create moments just so you can share them. Plain and simple.

health and wellness, lifestyle, That girl in the red coat

Attention

Well Beauties, yours truly is having a moment. A moment I gotta say something and those who know me know I gotta say it. I gotta.

Lately, I don’t know if has to do with my age (gonna be 44 in August) or my lack of a uterus (haven’t had to pay that monthly bill in over 7 years) or if it is as simple as I have a low, very low tolerance for bullshit, but I seem to have no room for those who lack accountability for their actions, nor do I have any room for those who are unkind.

Working in a Salon, you hear it all.  You hear about the celebrations of life, the trips, the new house and births. You hear about the not so good stuff, illnesses, divorces and deaths of which I have all the patience and time in the world to listen to. Where my attention begins to dwindle? When lack of kindness and accountability enter into the conversation.

A few  weeks ago a woman and her friend came in the shop and she was complaining that her fiancée got upset that she took out her phone as he was proposing. “I wanted to capture the moment for my Instagram and he got mad at me! He actually asked me if I could wait until he finished the question. Can you believe it?” …that he continued the proposal? (gotta admit, that was what I was thinking). She was actually mad at him. She kept going on about how he ruined the memory. Yep. He and he alone ruined it. I just stood there, trying not to show it on my face. This woman was so caught up in herself that she couldn’t see her part in any of it, well, except for her Instagram pic. She later complained that it wasn’t fair that her favorite OPI shade had been discontinued and got mad at me that there wasn’t anything I could do for her. …by the way, her phone never left her hand and with every third word spoken, her eyes looked at her phone. …sigh.

I get the importance of social media and the lure of smartphones. I am a blogger, a Retail Consultant and a Salon manager so I get it, I do. I also get that as important as they seem, there are other more important things in life, like  my loved ones, being kind, being present.

Being me, I have compiled a little list for you all, some daily reminders if you will. Feel free to share – no pun intended;

  • before you tell a story, be sure it is yours to tell
  • when you hurt someone’s feelings, apologize, to their face.
  • when someone is speaking to you, put down your phone and look at them. They are speaking to you, not texting you, there is no need to look at your phone.
  • not everything needs to be shared. I am so pleased your toddler pooed on the potty…didn’t need to see it on my timeline.
  • it is not the salesperson’s fault that your favorite polish is discontinued.
  • when you are getting your hair cut, put down your phone. You may not realize it, but when you text, your head moves.
  • do not take a selfie during your bikini wax. #toomuchinformation
  • if you wouldn’t chase someone down the street asking if they like your picture, it shouldn’t matter if they like it on facebook
  • life is not “unfair” because your fiancée wanted to share the proposal with you, and you alone.
  • you may like to crush candy, others do not. Please stop sending candy Crush invites
  • if you don’t want the opinions of others, you may want to rethink ending your post with #whatsagirltodo
  • you do not have to agree with everything you read and see on social media…you also don’t have to let everyone know that you don’t agree

Look up once and a while. Think before you post. Ask before you snap a pic. Be kind, plain and simple.

 

 

 

 

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, writing

…I was just being nice

It’s been a while since a new tale, I know. Thank you for your patience and continued support. It’s safe to say that after the past couple of months, yours truly has many a tale to tell and that I am graciously happy to see the arrival of September. Change is a good thing, and do I ever need a change of scenery, as do many of those I hold dear. In the next weeks I will have tales of woe, tales of truth (everyone’s favorite), tales of business and of pleasure. Today’s tale is of a different sort. I am not sure what category it falls under…is “reality T.V. is not real life” a category? I think it is, and so today’s tale falls under said category.

I am not sure when it happened. Maybe I missed the email. Did I miss a mass Facebook invite? Was it trending on twitter and I was a twit who missed it? I have been racking my brain trying to figure out where and when it all began….when did being polite and courteous of others become misconstrued as flirtation and foreplay? I hold the door open behind me at the bank for a couple, the gent smiles and thanks me, the lady (being polite…minding my manners) scowls at me and grabs a holder tight on her gent’s arm. Honey, the only withdrawal I am after  is my $100.00 from the ATM. I have a customer that I have had to stress at great lengths that I am quite content in my marriage, all because I told him that I thought his grey hair was dashing and really suited him and he shouldn’t color it.

Maybe it has something to do with social media. Lets be honest here folks…it’s kind of  narcissistic. It is. Most of the time we are posting “about me”. Sure, we mention our loved ones, our destinations, etc… . In the end, it comes down to “look at me”. Yes, I know, I am writing a blog about my thoughts and idea’s…believe me, the irony is not lost. In the age of Reality T.V. , selfies and pelfies – a little term I made up for my single friends who are sent pictures of penises from men they have not yet met, only typed hello to on a dating site. Since we are on the topic, if you are a gent who likes to post his significant other or “you know a guy” who does, first – don’t do that. Second – seriously, don’t do it. Third – if you must, try being a little more artistic ok? Having your Mom’s crocheted plant holder with a dead plant in it while you have a  superman towel over your shoulders needs to be rethought…as does the idea of posting that pic…just sayin’. Back to the tale at hand.

Being me, I had to make a list. Those of you familiar with my tales know it’s kind of my thing.

– When you look upset and a co worker asks if you are alright, it does not mean that they want to sleep with you. …maybe, just maybe, they are empathetic.

– When someone compliments your new pants, it does not mean that they want to get in them. ….wait for it…there you go.

– When a man other than your husband notices your new hair’do, that doesn’t mean that your husband is having an affair, or that you should begin one with the complimentary gent.

– Just because someone tells you something about themselves, like “I prefer Coca Cola over Pepsi”, this does not mean that they see you as a better confidant than their spouse.

– When a woman over forty shows her cleavage, it does not automatically mean she is a cougar. Trust me, being a woman with a killer rack – yeah I said it, and you surpass the DD’s…your gonna have cleavage, even in a turtle neck.

– When you think someone of the same sex is good looking, you don’t need to start rethinking your sexuality and start posting status updates about it. Some people are just meant to be looked at, plain and simple and like a work of art, they are admired. …Have you seen P!nk lately? Don’t get me started on Jon Bon Jovi…

– Porn is not real life. If you are looking for a police officer to “frisk you” – the  only way that’s going to happen is if you get arrested. Stop basing your bedroom ideals on literature and film. It’s not fair to you or your partner.

– Ladies, when a married male coworker gives you a birthday gift, 9 out of 10 times – his wife bought it and told him to give it to you. …so you may want to re-think the flirty thank you texts.

Here’s the deal. When someone is being kind to you, it doesn’t mean they want to run off with you. I am 43 and I know that there are player’s out there and that yes, getting it on is the motive of some people, but not all. Once and for all, when I show concern, consideration or kindness, I really am just being nice.