Beauty, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, writing

…I was just being nice

It’s been a while since a new tale, I know. Thank you for your patience and continued support. It’s safe to say that after the past couple of months, yours truly has many a tale to tell and that I am graciously happy to see the arrival of September. Change is a good thing, and do I ever need a change of scenery, as do many of those I hold dear. In the next weeks I will have tales of woe, tales of truth (everyone’s favorite), tales of business and of pleasure. Today’s tale is of a different sort. I am not sure what category it falls under…is “reality T.V. is not real life” a category? I think it is, and so today’s tale falls under said category.

I am not sure when it happened. Maybe I missed the email. Did I miss a mass Facebook invite? Was it trending on twitter and I was a twit who missed it? I have been racking my brain trying to figure out where and when it all began….when did being polite and courteous of others become misconstrued as flirtation and foreplay? I hold the door open behind me at the bank for a couple, the gent smiles and thanks me, the lady (being polite…minding my manners) scowls at me and grabs a holder tight on her gent’s arm. Honey, the only withdrawal I am after  is my $100.00 from the ATM. I have a customer that I have had to stress at great lengths that I am quite content in my marriage, all because I told him that I thought his grey hair was dashing and really suited him and he shouldn’t color it.

Maybe it has something to do with social media. Lets be honest here folks…it’s kind of  narcissistic. It is. Most of the time we are posting “about me”. Sure, we mention our loved ones, our destinations, etc… . In the end, it comes down to “look at me”. Yes, I know, I am writing a blog about my thoughts and idea’s…believe me, the irony is not lost. In the age of Reality T.V. , selfies and pelfies – a little term I made up for my single friends who are sent pictures of penises from men they have not yet met, only typed hello to on a dating site. Since we are on the topic, if you are a gent who likes to post his significant other or “you know a guy” who does, first – don’t do that. Second – seriously, don’t do it. Third – if you must, try being a little more artistic ok? Having your Mom’s crocheted plant holder with a dead plant in it while you have a  superman towel over your shoulders needs to be rethought…as does the idea of posting that pic…just sayin’. Back to the tale at hand.

Being me, I had to make a list. Those of you familiar with my tales know it’s kind of my thing.

– When you look upset and a co worker asks if you are alright, it does not mean that they want to sleep with you. …maybe, just maybe, they are empathetic.

– When someone compliments your new pants, it does not mean that they want to get in them. ….wait for it…there you go.

– When a man other than your husband notices your new hair’do, that doesn’t mean that your husband is having an affair, or that you should begin one with the complimentary gent.

– Just because someone tells you something about themselves, like “I prefer Coca Cola over Pepsi”, this does not mean that they see you as a better confidant than their spouse.

– When a woman over forty shows her cleavage, it does not automatically mean she is a cougar. Trust me, being a woman with a killer rack – yeah I said it, and you surpass the DD’s…your gonna have cleavage, even in a turtle neck.

– When you think someone of the same sex is good looking, you don’t need to start rethinking your sexuality and start posting status updates about it. Some people are just meant to be looked at, plain and simple and like a work of art, they are admired. …Have you seen P!nk lately? Don’t get me started on Jon Bon Jovi…

– Porn is not real life. If you are looking for a police officer to “frisk you” – the  only way that’s going to happen is if you get arrested. Stop basing your bedroom ideals on literature and film. It’s not fair to you or your partner.

– Ladies, when a married male coworker gives you a birthday gift, 9 out of 10 times – his wife bought it and told him to give it to you. …so you may want to re-think the flirty thank you texts.

Here’s the deal. When someone is being kind to you, it doesn’t mean they want to run off with you. I am 43 and I know that there are player’s out there and that yes, getting it on is the motive of some people, but not all. Once and for all, when I show concern, consideration or kindness, I really am just being nice.

 

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Sisterhood

As I sit here in my 42nd. year in this earthly realm, I am still astonished at the treatment of women, by other women. In the past weeks I have seen women roll their eyes behind another woman’s back after telling her they “loved her new cut!” – in front of their daughter. I have heard women snicker about a woman following her dream of opening a business for herself – in front of their daughter. I have heard a woman call another woman a “ho!” because of her personal choice to leave her marriage – in front of her daughter. I have heard women bashing their teenage daughter’s choice of hair color – in front of their daughter. Ladies – just what do you think you are teaching your daughter about how to treat other women?

I have a daughter on the cusp of turning 17. I remember how difficult that age was…too old for some things, too young for others, feeling like no one “gets you”, wanting to be an individual yet still blend in enough not to be centered out, figuring out who you are and who your friends are, all the while trying to keep your hair perfect and your mascara from flaking in case “that boy” walks by and happens to say “Hey” to you for the first time. As mothers, we need to remember these things. Today, there are pressures our daughters are having to face much earlier than we did. Case and point – when I was 10 I liked the way Barbie looked –  today at age 10 girls are feeling like they are supposed to look like Barbie. What our daughter’s need is a soft place to fall at the end of the day. Our daughter’s need an example that there is good in the world and that there are people out there that won’t stab them in the back, that will actually have their back. What our daughter’s do not need is another example of gossip, or snickering or put downs  – they deal with that everyday at school and with their friends and classmates.  Being me, I have compiled a little list, a reminder of sorts.

– Do not belittle the dreams of others, if you aren’t careful you could in turn belittle your daughter’s dream.

– Gossiping in front of your daughter will teach her to gossip and teach her not to trust you. Think about it – if she hears you telling everyone’s secrets, she will think you will tell hers too.

– When your daughter wants a pixie cut – be kind. She is trying to figure out who she is…and introduce her to a good stylist and some great product, like KMS Hair Play Molding Paste – great for texture and separation.

– If your daughter has an issue with an oily scalp, do not point it out to everyone you run into. The only person who you should be talking to (with your daughter’s permission) is your stylist. * If your daughter doesn’t want to talk about it, Senscience Specialty Shampoo is a great shampoo to help control an oily scalp.

– Putting down other women in front of your daughter will teach her do to the same – sometimes just out of pure survival – so your venom doesn’t ever spew in her direction.

– When shopping with your daughter, help her to find herself and her style – not the person and the style you want, or wish you had when you were her age.

– NEVER, I mean EVER, point out your daughter’s insecurities in front of anyone. How would you like her to point out your muffin top to the PTA?

– Remind your daughter…and yourself, that this is reality…not reality T.V.. – the Kardashian’s are already keeping up with themselves.

Before you go and nominate me for Mother of the Year, let me be the first to admit that I can really put my foot in it and say the wrong thing. I am strong willed and have a hard time admitting a wrong. That being said, I have to remind myself that I am the parent. I am the adult. I know better and must do better. I admit to my daughter when I have over stepped my bounds. I do apologize for my words if they felt unkind. I explain my intentions and hope that she believes me. As parents we have no control over what our children do once they leave the house, we can only hope that we have taught them well and that they carry on those lessons once they have crossed the threshold. …oh, and throwing a flat iron is never the solution.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Fool on the hill

I woke up this morning with “The Fool on the Hill” by the Beatles in my head – so clearly that I actually checked my clock radio to see if it was on. (Yes, I still have a clock radio. It was my grandfather’s. He got it free with his “Maclean’s” subscription and when I saw it I thought it was pretty cool, so he gave it to me and it has been at my bedside for 25 years). Needless to say, the radio was off. I got up, made some coffee and the song still played in my head.

It got me to thinking about the past few weeks of my life, and the lives of those I love and cherish. You see, for me, most of my life is pretty awesome. I have been a  guest blogger on http://www.salonmagazine.com . I have been invited to blog on another website – which one you ask? Well for that one you are gonna have to wait – it’s a surprise! I have a 16 year old daughter who still wants to be seen in public with me ( A HUGE deal if you ask me.) and I have the love of a great man, who has loved me for over 20 years. My lovely hubby is why I said “most” of my life is pretty awesome. You see, his health has not been the greatest as of late, by no fault of his own. Those familiar with my blog know that my love had a heart attack back in 2011. His heart is well on the mend, alas the medication to keep his heart healthy is not so nice to the rest of his body.The kick in the ass is everyday he feels different, he doesn’t know until he gets out of bed what the day will hold for him. Some of the medication makes his skin super sensitive to touch, some of the medication causes acid reflux and chest pressure – the latter is a another  kick in the ass since chest pressure is how his heart attack felt. – AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL SEGUE! – not all heart attacks present with a pain shooting down your left arm and a red face followed with a collapse to the floor. If you are not feeling well, pain or pressure in your chest area/upper back that won’t subside, pain that goes up your neck into your jaw – go to the hospital. As the Doctor’s say to us – they would rather everyone come and it be nothing then wait too long and nothing can be done. Back to the tale at hand.

So, I looked up the lyrics to the fool on the hill, and as with any piece of music or literature everyone seems to have their own vision of what the song means, myself included. You see, I am an optimist. I can’t help myself. I always seem to find something good in something bad, it’s what I do. Many times because of this I find I am ignored or not listened to, and that is okay. It used to hurt my feelings, now I realize that it is either because I over stepped my bounds (which I know I tend to do) or that the person I am speaking to is not ready to be happy or ready to have hope – I have found that giving over to hope and happiness is one of the scariest things for people to do – it sure as hell was for me. So the lyrics, “but nobody ever hears him, or the sound he appears to make, and he never seems to notice, but the fool on the hill, sees the sun going down. and the eyes in his head, see the world spinning round” comfort me. They do. I saw myself in the lyrics – the woman who always sees the bright side of life and is seen as a fool on the hill.

I also found a new perspective about my hubby. You see, he looks fine but feels like shit most of the time. As with any health issue, when the person looks fine people don’t always believe you when you say you are not well, so you begin to feel like “fool on the hill” and begin to doubt yourself and how you are feeling. Another great compliment is when people doubt that he is taking his medication properly, or accuse him of not taking care of himself properly. This used to make me mad, but after watching a few episodes of Honey Boo Boo and some other so called reality T.V. shows, I now understand why some people are, well, assholes where the health of my beloved is concerned. (if you have seen the above – no explanation needed).

Here’s the deal. In the immortal words of Bob Dylan “don’t criticize what you can’t understand”. Everyone is going through something, or has a loved one on their mind. Sometimes it shows, most often it does not. If you don’t know what to say, say nothing at all. Be careful not to judge too severely, for one day you may be the fool on the hill…and I will be more than happy to sit with you.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Alright….where’s the camera

Ever have one of those days that you find yourself looking over your shoulder, looking up and down in search of the camera crew and Suzanne Somers to jump out and say “Smile! You’re on candid camera!”. Today I was praying for such an exclamation that never came. Sad but true, the following tales are true and they all happened to yours truly today.

The phone rings. “Is it safe to get my hair colored?” is the question posed to me. “I’m sorry.” I say, “why do you ask if it is safe to get your hair colored?” to which she answers “I read in the paper that someone in Florida died while getting their hair colored!”. (10 bucks the “paper” started with an N and ended with an R)…by the way, it’s 9:40 a.m.. The shop has been open 10 minutes.

A woman comes into the shop with a can of hairspray. “I bought this here and it is defective!”. So I ask her what seems to be the issue with the hairspray. (from time to time aerosol cans don’t spray properly and we will gladly exchange them). “The issue is it sounds funny every time I use it.”. I shit you not people, it is what she said. So I take the can and spray it a few times and it sounds like hairspray being sprayed out of an aerosol can. I tell her “It is spraying evenly and not clogging up, I can’t see a defect with the product.” to which she says “well, I don’t like the sound it makes, maybe another will sound better”. …it’s 10:30 a.m..

A woman came in the store to tell me in great detail about how crappy her life is and how she can’t seem to get rid of the pesky rash she has “down there” ever since she had a brazilian wax….maybe I should re think the whole “how are you today” greeting….it’s 11:30 a.m.

I had a woman complain about having to pay retail prices when she is a hairdresser, so I offer the address to the wholesaler’s in our area and she proceeds to explain “well…I’m not really a hairdresser, I never got my license but I did go to school, but I never finished, but I still do hair, so I think I deserve wholesale prices”….that’s like saying you’re an E.R. doctor because you took first aid in the Girl Guides.

Last but certainly not least, a lovely couple came in about 20 minutes before closing. The woman told me she was looking for wax for hair removal. I showed her our selection and asked if she needed hard wax or cream wax. I never should have asked. It was at this moment that her Romeo was at her side and they explained,quite joyously that they prefer hard wax because they give each other brazilian waxes. Let’s add this to the ever growing list of things I really don’t need to know.

So there you have it, a glimpse into the daily happenings of That girl in the red coat. This is why I don’t watch much reality T.V., I get enough of it at work.