E.R. doctor

I woke up this morning thinking of a few of my friends. I have a few fabulous women in my life that are really going through it. Different stages. Different issues. Same anxieties and fears. Same feeling of “that they are alone in this.”. It got me to thinking how so many of us are sitting in a crowded room feeling like we are the only ones there. That we’re told, or reared by society to be still. Be quiet. Don’t complain. Be grateful for what you have. Well, that’s all fine and dandy but those are hard pills to swallow when you hear “The Doctor will see you now.”.

I first heard those words at 28 when my body decided to add a growth on my thyroid. We had rented a movie, we had the windows open because central air wasn’t ours yet and I felt a mosquito land on my neck. I went to swat it away and low and behold I felt a lump – 4 cm, thank you very much. We were watching The Green Mile. I shit you not. This is my life. Doctor’s visits. Biopsies. Surgical consults. A hemi thyroidectomy, as the other lobe was healthy and pink. Fast forward 3 years. 31 years old. Sitting in my living room, waiting for hubby to get off a phone call when out of nowhere, I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was being choked. Rush to the ER to find the other lobe felt ignored so it grew a honeycomb of cysts that decided not to drain. 6 cm, thank you very much. Doctor’s visits. Biopsies. Surgical consults. This time around I got to have 12 cc’s of blood drained out of my neck every week until my surgery date. I didn’t mind waiting 3 months – I found out I was going to have the best Otolaryngologist in the province, maybe in the country. Fast forward 6 years, I thought I was lactose intolerant or it was a gall bladder attack. NOPE! Fibroid on my uterus, 20cm x 11cm x 14cm – https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2014/10/06/i-thought-it-was-my-abs/ . Again, this is my life. Again, Doctor’s visits. Biopsies. Surgical consults. “The doctor will see you now” became an even mixture of anxiety and hope – a very strange concoction to feel to say the least.

I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m hoping today’s tale might help someone feel less alone. I say it all the time. If more people talked about the things you don’t talk about at parties, the world would be a better place and we would feel less alone.

Medical tests are scary. You’re anxious? Good! It means you’re paying attention.
Stay Off WEB MD
Ask questions. If you don’t understand a word or terminology, say so. There’s no shame in that – this is their profession – not yours.
Talk a medical professional – not Chat GPT
Keep asking questions until you feel you understand what’s happening.
Stay Off WEB MD
Reach out to friends. Ask if they know of anyone going through the same thing, or if they have had a medical scare – you’d be surprised how many people are willing to help.
DO NOT go down the “should of, could of” road. Trust me. It doesn’t help. Focus on moving forward, because you can’t go back – unless you’re H.G. Wells.
Ask for help. Tell your boss what’s going on. Let your neighbors know. Again, you’ll be surprised how many people want to help. People are intrinsically good. They are.
It’s ok to cry, scream, pout or just sit there. This is about you and what makes you comfortable – not what makes everyone else comfortable.

I’ll admit, when all of this was happening for me, I had many “why me?” moments. I had days I didn’t want to leave the house because of my scar – kind of hard to hide a 4 inch scar on your neck. As time often does, it taught me why. I’d like to think it was so I can be there for others. A hand to hold. A voice of reason. A listening and sympathetic ear. There were times I felt I was on my own. If I can help one person not feel that way, even for a moment, that’s reason enough for me.

Anything medical can be scary. I’ve found facing my fears made it a little less scary, I said a little less. They say knowledge is power. It is. We cannot control what is happening, but understanding it shines a light under the bed to show there are no monsters there. Be well Beauties. Be well.

Ever have one of those days that you find yourself looking over your shoulder, looking up and down in search of the camera crew and Suzanne Somers to jump out and say “Smile! You’re on candid camera!”. Today I was praying for such an exclamation that never came. Sad but true, the following tales are true and they all happened to yours truly today.

The phone rings. “Is it safe to get my hair colored?” is the question posed to me. “I’m sorry.” I say, “why do you ask if it is safe to get your hair colored?” to which she answers “I read in the paper that someone in Florida died while getting their hair colored!”. (10 bucks the “paper” started with an N and ended with an R)…by the way, it’s 9:40 a.m.. The shop has been open 10 minutes.

A woman comes into the shop with a can of hairspray. “I bought this here and it is defective!”. So I ask her what seems to be the issue with the hairspray. (from time to time aerosol cans don’t spray properly and we will gladly exchange them). “The issue is it sounds funny every time I use it.”. I shit you not people, it is what she said. So I take the can and spray it a few times and it sounds like hairspray being sprayed out of an aerosol can. I tell her “It is spraying evenly and not clogging up, I can’t see a defect with the product.” to which she says “well, I don’t like the sound it makes, maybe another will sound better”. …it’s 10:30 a.m..

A woman came in the store to tell me in great detail about how crappy her life is and how she can’t seem to get rid of the pesky rash she has “down there” ever since she had a brazilian wax….maybe I should re think the whole “how are you today” greeting….it’s 11:30 a.m.

I had a woman complain about having to pay retail prices when she is a hairdresser, so I offer the address to the wholesaler’s in our area and she proceeds to explain “well…I’m not really a hairdresser, I never got my license but I did go to school, but I never finished, but I still do hair, so I think I deserve wholesale prices”….that’s like saying you’re an E.R. doctor because you took first aid in the Girl Guides.

Last but certainly not least, a lovely couple came in about 20 minutes before closing. The woman told me she was looking for wax for hair removal. I showed her our selection and asked if she needed hard wax or cream wax. I never should have asked. It was at this moment that her Romeo was at her side and they explained,quite joyously that they prefer hard wax because they give each other brazilian waxes. Let’s add this to the ever growing list of things I really don’t need to know.

So there you have it, a glimpse into the daily happenings of That girl in the red coat. This is why I don’t watch much reality T.V., I get enough of it at work.