health and wellness, Menopause, Women

The Doctor will see you now

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I woke up this morning thinking of a few of my friends. I have a few fabulous women in my life that are really going through it. Different stages. Different issues. Same anxieties and fears. Same feeling of “that they are alone in this.”. It got me to thinking how so many of us are sitting in a crowded room feeling like we are the only ones there. That we’re told, or reared by society to be still. Be quiet. Don’t complain. Be grateful for what you have. Well, that’s all fine and dandy but those are hard pills to swallow when you hear “The Doctor will see you now.”.

I first heard those words at 28 when my body decided to add a growth on my thyroid. We had rented a movie, we had the windows open because central air wasn’t ours yet and I felt a mosquito land on my neck. I went to swat it away and low and behold I felt a lump – 4 cm, thank you very much. We were watching The Green Mile. I shit you not. This is my life. Doctor’s visits. Biopsies. Surgical consults. A hemi thyroidectomy, as the other lobe was healthy and pink. Fast forward 3 years. 31 years old. Sitting in my living room, waiting for hubby to get off a phone call when out of nowhere, I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was being choked. Rush to the ER to find the other lobe felt ignored so it grew a honeycomb of cysts that decided not to drain. 6 cm, thank you very much. Doctor’s visits. Biopsies. Surgical consults. This time around I got to have 12 cc’s of blood drained out of my neck every week until my surgery date. I didn’t mind waiting 3 months – I found out I was going to have the best Otolaryngologist in the province, maybe in the country. Fast forward 6 years, I thought I was lactose intolerant or it was a gall bladder attack. NOPE! Fibroid on my uterus, 20cm x 11cm x 14cm – https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2014/10/06/i-thought-it-was-my-abs/ . Again, this is my life. Again, Doctor’s visits. Biopsies. Surgical consults. “The doctor will see you now” became an even mixture of anxiety and hope – a very strange concoction to feel to say the least.

I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m hoping today’s tale might help someone feel less alone. I say it all the time. If more people talked about the things you don’t talk about at parties, the world would be a better place and we would feel less alone.

  • Medical tests are scary. You’re anxious? Good! It means you’re paying attention.
  • Stay Off WEB MD
  • Ask questions. If you don’t understand a word or terminology, say so. There’s no shame in that – this is their profession – not yours.
  • Talk a medical professional – not Chat GPT
  • Keep asking questions until you feel you understand what’s happening.
  • Stay Off WEB MD
  • Reach out to friends. Ask if they know of anyone going through the same thing, or if they have had a medical scare – you’d be surprised how many people are willing to help.
  • DO NOT go down the “should of, could of” road. Trust me. It doesn’t help. Focus on moving forward, because you can’t go back – unless you’re H.G. Wells.
  • Ask for help. Tell your boss what’s going on. Let your neighbors know. Again, you’ll be surprised how many people want to help. People are intrinsically good. They are.
  • It’s ok to cry, scream, pout or just sit there. This is about you and what makes you comfortable – not what makes everyone else comfortable.

I’ll admit, when all of this was happening for me, I had many “why me?” moments. I had days I didn’t want to leave the house because of my scar – kind of hard to hide a 4 inch scar on your neck. As time often does, it taught me why. I’d like to think it was so I can be there for others. A hand to hold. A voice of reason. A listening and sympathetic ear. There were times I felt I was on my own. If I can help one person not feel that way, even for a moment, that’s reason enough for me.

Anything medical can be scary. I’ve found facing my fears made it a little less scary, I said a little less. They say knowledge is power. It is. We cannot control what is happening, but understanding it shines a light under the bed to show there are no monsters there. Be well Beauties. Be well.

beauty, health and wellness, lifestyle, Menopause, Sunday Confessions, Women

Sunday Confessions

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It’s Sunday morning on my corner of the globe. My day began without the shrill of an alarm, the smell of fresh coffee brewing and the sun peeking through the cracks in the blinds. My kind of morning. As I was sipping my coffee I found myself in reflection and question, something that is happening more and more these days. Reflecting on past days and questioning them at the same time. Not in a “did that happen” kinda way, in a “I wonder why” kinda way. As I was walking through the living room, the thought, more a voice in my head to be quite honest was “you should write today.”. So here I am.

Since it’s Sunday, why not return to my Sunday Confessions. They started in 2013, https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2013/06/09/sunday-confession/ , on a Sunday morning when I realized I had had it with the bullshit that they try to, and succeed at, feed young girls and women about beauty and self image. I’m sad to say, that in 13 years, not much has changed. They’re still trying to spoon feed us the same rhetoric, disguised as wellness and yes, I’m still sick of the bullshit.

Over the past weeks, I have seen and heard women who I deem fabulous cut themselves down to size, a size that they are told they should be. They’re doing too much. They’re doing too little. They’re overweight. They’re underweight. They’re not getting enough protein – don’t even get me started on that one. The list goes on, I’d give myself carpel tunnel if I listed them all. Oh, and trust me when I say, I’m not immune to the above. Just this morning, I almost didn’t make an iced coffee to accompany me at my laptop. Yup. My favorite morning treat, a fabulous mix with a splash of caramel coffee creamer, and I almost didn’t make it because of a shitty comment made about women and their “midlife mid section”. Thankfully my true voice stepped forward and said “Fuck that Shit!” and here I am sipping and typing away.

To be clear, huge fan of health, wellness and longevity. What I’m not a fan of? Using them as some sort of holy trinity. Using them as a weapon or marketing tool used to disempower instead of empower. Making women feel like they are failing at life because they aren’t tracking their daily protein intake – for Christ’s sake Sharon – I can barely track my thoughts some days. Another thing that burns me up? Too many “experts” and “life coaches” giving great advice that makes you start feeling “I can do this” and then hitting you up with a price tag. FYI – most of your audience does not have a discretionary fund at their beckon call. Most are just trying to survive and do the best they can with what they have. The click bait is astounding to me. Listen, I’ve been in sales and customer service for over 35 years, and these suckers are good! Half the time, I don’t see the sales pitch coming. Good for them, but not so good for us.

As a lover of lists, I’ve compiled a little something for all my 40 plus gals. A how to if you will. I’m not an expert, nor am I a life coach. I’m just a woman trying to keep on keepin’ on, as most of us are.

  • If you are able, go get your bloodwork done. Check your blood pressure. Give yourself a base line. – I understand that depending which country you live in, a medical visit may cost you. Another reason I’m grateful for Canadian healthcare – to the haters – not now.
  • Take what you will from a Tik Tok /Instagram post, with a grain of salt. If it interests you, do a bit more research. My favorite go to is the Mayo Clinic website.
  • Before you try any new supplement/regime – make sure there are no medication absorption disruptions. I’m on thyroid hormone since I don’t have one anymore and you’d be surprised how may supplements I can’t take because they interfere with my medication. Disruption = a really bad couple of days. “Your skin looks terrific!” – “Thanks! I feel like shit and can’t get off the toilet!” – what’s the point of that?
  • Water supplements/ flavor enhancers – those sneaky buggers – some have fine print that states “do not take within 3 hours before or after certain medications.” – Your water may taste great but it could give you heart palpations. I don’t know about you, but those aren’t the heart flutters I want.
  • You do not need to get a second job to take care of yourself. Close your Amazon cart, go to the kitchen, pick up two soup cans, and lift them as you go up and down your stairs. Eat an apple.
  • Sit down, Lower your shoulders. Breathe in deep through your nose. Hold for the count of 2. Exhale through your mouth. Even once and you’ll feel a little more at ease. *If you feel emotional after you do this – that’s ok! You’re releasing my friend.
  • If you can tell the barista about your hemorrhoids, I think you can talk to a licensed professional about your concerns “down there”.
  • Stop calling any body part below your navel “down there”. If you can look up the newest slang on Urban Dictionary, you can look up the proper names/terms for your body.
  • You do not need to have the latest and greatest wellness tool to matter.

Take it easy on yourself. Try your best to do what is best for you today. You miss a day? There is always tomorrow. Trust me when I say this, the people who matter don’t give shit if your skin is glowing, they want to see you spirit glowing. The ones commenting on your appearance – they’re selling something – they are not your people. The ones who compliment your appearance – those are your people.

Be kind, to yourself. Plain and Simple.

beauty, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Tales of Truth – 17th edition

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Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, gather ’round for the 17th edition of That Girl in the Red Coat’s tales of truth. I know that these tales are quite popular and are a fan favorite. I am beginning to wonder if you, my followers are sending people into my shop to see if their escapades and demands will make their way into my latest edition…sweet baby Jesus, I hope so.

A woman came into the shop asking if I sold hair clippers. I walked her over to our selection of clippers, explained their differences and their prices. Once I was finished she asked me “What kind of hair can I trim with these?”. I took a deep breath and asked “What hair do you want to trim?” as I silently told myself not to show it on my face as I wondered where I put the hand sanitizer. “Oh, the usual hair. My boyfriend’s hair, my hair, my pussycat’s hair. I like to give him a new spring hairdo every year.”. …thank god, she added cat to that sentence.

The phone rings and I answer with my standard greeting. “Yeah, Hi. Do you sell eyelashes?”. I let her know that we do retail false eyelashes and that the price ranges depending on if she wants acrylic or human hair eyelashes. “Oh my god! How do you get human eyelashes?!? Are they pulled out of people’s eyes and sold to the public?”. – I actually stood there, at the counter, took the phone away from my ear and stared at it.

We offer a great selection of flatirons. A woman came in because she needed to replace her flatiron. I showed her our selection and explained the differences in plate widths, which models had universal voltage and which were ceramic or titanium plates. She asked me “Why are there different widths to the plates?”. I let her know that it usually comes down to personal preference and that the 1 inch plate is the most popular because you can achieve a curl with it. “Why call it a flat iron if you can curl with it? It should be called a curling iron if you ask me!”.

A woman came in wanting to return her hairspray, slamming the bottle onto the counter, complaining that her hairspray wasn’t holding her style at all and that we had sold her crap. “Look at how wet and flat my hair is!”. Before I could look at the bottle she complained that her “leave in conditioner was a disappointment too!”. I took the bottle off the counter, turned it around to look at the label, gave it back to her and let her know that the bottle she wanted to return was her leave in conditioner and that she may have gotten the products mixed up. “Hmmpt….maybe that’s why my hair felt sticky when I was blowdrying.”.

A woman asked me what nail polish color was a good color. I let her know that the Spring collections were offering pastels and brights this year. So then she says “What color will I like?” I ask her “What is your favorite color?”. I guess that was the wrong question. “Look, I asked you what color would I like! Why won’t you tell me what color I would like?!?!”. I picked up the most popular pink shade and showed it to her, to which she told me “I don’t like pink.”.

The phone rings and before I can finish my greeting I hear “Yeah, I like colored my hair and it is kind of like red and gold, but more orange and kind of like yellow. Do you sell toner to fix it?”. I let her know that it would be best to go to a Salon and have them fix it for her, especially because I can’t see her hair to which she replied “I just told you the color it was.”.

With the temperatures rising and the days getting longer, those who have not ventured out in many months have decided to come out of their winter’s slumber and come into the shop with certain inquiries and questions. Once again, I cannot stress this enough…these are based on real events. I couldn’t make this shit up.

– Can nail polish remover be used on finger nails and toe nails?

– I used my foot cream on my hands. Do I need to see my doctor?

– Do I need to comb my husband’s back hair before I trim it?

– Can I use the glue from the dollar store on my false eyelashes?

– If my son uses my color shampoo will it color his hair?

– Will the scent of this hairspray bother my husband’s allergies?

– My car is in direct sunlight. Will my hairspray blow up while I am driving home?

– Do you color your hair so people won’t look at the scar on your neck? – this gem happened today

Last but never least, the piece de resistance…. A gentleman came into the shop inquiring about our hair removal products. He told me he had been going to someone for his “removal needs” but thought he could save some time and money having his own supplies at home. I showed him our selection of waxes and explained the difference between hard wax and cream waxes, which needed strips and which ones didn’t. “I have my girlfriend to help me with my back. I do have a question for you though. Is it possible for me to wax my own balls?”. Yep. His exact words. I looked him straight in the eye and told him that I wouldn’t suggest it, that it was possible and that there will be blood. “Maybe my girlfriend would do it for me” he said with  a wink and a smile and a nudge. I shit you not, a nudge. I just walked back  to the counter, rang through his purchase and wished him luck. …..a week later he came back to pick up a product his girlfriend had on hold. I knew who he was and what he had done. I rang through his purchase, wished him  a pleasant evening and that is when he quite proudly shared that “It worked and hardly any blood!”.

 

Dad's laugh

 

 

 

beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

You wanna keep that finger?

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I hear the familiar chirp of the door chime. A woman enters the shop and comes up to the counter. I greet her “Hi there, what can I help you with?”. With pointed finger she quipped “What happened to you? How’d you get that?” is what this lovely woman thought was the proper response to my inquiry. You see, I have a scar on my neck, courtesy of two thyroid surgeries. I tend to forget I have it but then I can always rely on someone emerging from the shallow end of the gene pool to remind me.

For an instant, I must admit I was angry and insulted, especially when asked “why don’t I cover it up”, but then remembered you can’t fix stupid. You see, I really do forget I have my scar. The surgeries were over 8 years ago. I was fortunate enough not to have cancer. My scars do not define who I am. I tend to forget that there are people out there that are miserable and petty and only feel good when making others feel bad and as I type these words I hear my father’s voice “not everyone is like you kiddo”.

I have had friends buy me a necklace just to tell me they bought it thinking it would cover my scar nicely. I have had people tell me about all the creams on the market that will help get rid of my scar. Once and for all, to be clear, I don’t mind it and I really do forget I have it, how I wish you would too.

My scar does not define me just as someone’s hair color, tattoo’s or piercing’s defines them. Seriously, ladies and gents, I know you all went to grade school and at some point someone, somewhere told you it wasn’t nice to point.