Beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

Tales of Truth – 18th edition

Gather ’round ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is once again time for that girl in the red coat’s Tales of Truth. A full moon is not set to arrive for a few weeks so I cannot blame the following antics on our lunar companion. The warm weather is upon us and the humidex is on the rise, so that may be a factor, or maybe people have simply gone bat shit crazy.

 

– I was helping a woman select her shampoo when another woman came into the shop. I said hello and let her know I would be with her shortly. She told me “I’m just looking”. After I finished with my customer, I walked over to her and asked if she was finding what she was looking for to which I was told “I said I was just looking!”, so I went back to unpacking my orders. As she passed the counter I heard a sigh and turned to ask her if there was something she needed to which she told me “well, yes, there is, but no one is helping me so I am leaving.”.

– a woman called to ask me why I didn’t answer the phone at 8:00 a.m. when she called. I let her know the shop opens at 9:30 a.m. to which she said “you still haven’t answered my question”.

– a woman complained that the flat iron spray I suggested was “Shit and was ruining her hair, not protecting it”. *Educational tip – flat iron spray is to be applied to dry hair – not applied to the flat iron itself.

– A woman came into the shop asking if I could help her find the Goldwell shampoo she uses because she left her glasses at home. As I came from behind the counter to help her she let me know “please don’t mind the smell, I just had some moles burned off.”. …trust me…I wish I was making this shit up.

– A woman asked me if she could buy  the travel size hair dryer even if she doesn’t travel.

– “Do you sell toe nail polish?” – I am asked this more than you want to know

– I had another gentleman ask me if it was possible to wax his own balls – actually, he called them his “little buddies”. …Gilligan’s Island will never be the same for yours truly.

– A product I usually carry was out of stock. My customer wanted to know where else she could buy it. I didn’t know, but offered to give her the phone number of the shops I thought may carry her product. I was told “my customer service was for shit” because I wouldn’t call all the other shop’s in town for her to see if they had what she wanted.

– A couple came in asking about our hair trimmers. I showed them our selection of clippers and trimmers and let them know that the Wahl Peanut is our best seller. It is great for cutting, trimming and outlining. The woman turned to her gent and said “Look! A peanut to use on your peanut!”. …I need a raise.

 

Dad's laugh

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Tales of Truth – 17th edition

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, gather ’round for the 17th edition of That Girl in the Red Coat’s tales of truth. I know that these tales are quite popular and are a fan favorite. I am beginning to wonder if you, my followers are sending people into my shop to see if their escapades and demands will make their way into my latest edition…sweet baby Jesus, I hope so.

A woman came into the shop asking if I sold hair clippers. I walked her over to our selection of clippers, explained their differences and their prices. Once I was finished she asked me “What kind of hair can I trim with these?”. I took a deep breath and asked “What hair do you want to trim?” as I silently told myself not to show it on my face as I wondered where I put the hand sanitizer. “Oh, the usual hair. My boyfriend’s hair, my hair, my pussycat’s hair. I like to give him a new spring hairdo every year.”. …thank god, she added cat to that sentence.

The phone rings and I answer with my standard greeting. “Yeah, Hi. Do you sell eyelashes?”. I let her know that we do retail false eyelashes and that the price ranges depending on if she wants acrylic or human hair eyelashes. “Oh my god! How do you get human eyelashes?!? Are they pulled out of people’s eyes and sold to the public?”. – I actually stood there, at the counter, took the phone away from my ear and stared at it.

We offer a great selection of flatirons. A woman came in because she needed to replace her flatiron. I showed her our selection and explained the differences in plate widths, which models had universal voltage and which were ceramic or titanium plates. She asked me “Why are there different widths to the plates?”. I let her know that it usually comes down to personal preference and that the 1 inch plate is the most popular because you can achieve a curl with it. “Why call it a flat iron if you can curl with it? It should be called a curling iron if you ask me!”.

A woman came in wanting to return her hairspray, slamming the bottle onto the counter, complaining that her hairspray wasn’t holding her style at all and that we had sold her crap. “Look at how wet and flat my hair is!”. Before I could look at the bottle she complained that her “leave in conditioner was a disappointment too!”. I took the bottle off the counter, turned it around to look at the label, gave it back to her and let her know that the bottle she wanted to return was her leave in conditioner and that she may have gotten the products mixed up. “Hmmpt….maybe that’s why my hair felt sticky when I was blowdrying.”.

A woman asked me what nail polish color was a good color. I let her know that the Spring collections were offering pastels and brights this year. So then she says “What color will I like?” I ask her “What is your favorite color?”. I guess that was the wrong question. “Look, I asked you what color would I like! Why won’t you tell me what color I would like?!?!”. I picked up the most popular pink shade and showed it to her, to which she told me “I don’t like pink.”.

The phone rings and before I can finish my greeting I hear “Yeah, I like colored my hair and it is kind of like red and gold, but more orange and kind of like yellow. Do you sell toner to fix it?”. I let her know that it would be best to go to a Salon and have them fix it for her, especially because I can’t see her hair to which she replied “I just told you the color it was.”.

With the temperatures rising and the days getting longer, those who have not ventured out in many months have decided to come out of their winter’s slumber and come into the shop with certain inquiries and questions. Once again, I cannot stress this enough…these are based on real events. I couldn’t make this shit up.

– Can nail polish remover be used on finger nails and toe nails?

– I used my foot cream on my hands. Do I need to see my doctor?

– Do I need to comb my husband’s back hair before I trim it?

– Can I use the glue from the dollar store on my false eyelashes?

– If my son uses my color shampoo will it color his hair?

– Will the scent of this hairspray bother my husband’s allergies?

– My car is in direct sunlight. Will my hairspray blow up while I am driving home?

– Do you color your hair so people won’t look at the scar on your neck? – this gem happened today

Last but never least, the piece de resistance…. A gentleman came into the shop inquiring about our hair removal products. He told me he had been going to someone for his “removal needs” but thought he could save some time and money having his own supplies at home. I showed him our selection of waxes and explained the difference between hard wax and cream waxes, which needed strips and which ones didn’t. “I have my girlfriend to help me with my back. I do have a question for you though. Is it possible for me to wax my own balls?”. Yep. His exact words. I looked him straight in the eye and told him that I wouldn’t suggest it, that it was possible and that there will be blood. “Maybe my girlfriend would do it for me” he said with  a wink and a smile and a nudge. I shit you not, a nudge. I just walked back  to the counter, rang through his purchase and wished him luck. …..a week later he came back to pick up a product his girlfriend had on hold. I knew who he was and what he had done. I rang through his purchase, wished him  a pleasant evening and that is when he quite proudly shared that “It worked and hardly any blood!”.

 

Dad's laugh

 

 

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Tales of Truth – The Christmas Edition – Part 2

So it has been exactly 10 days since my last installment of my Tales of Truth – the Christmas edition. With all the goings on in the shop over the past 10 days, I haven’t decided if  Jolly ‘ol St. Nick has me on the nice list or the naughty list.

 

– We have Christmas displays throughout the shop. Some are mini evergreens, some are boxes wrapped in shiny paper and some are snowmen. A woman came into the shop and exclaimed “I LOVE YOUR SNOWMAN!”. I thanked her for the compliment. “Sell him to me! How much is he? Is he for sale?”. I explained that “he” was part of our Christmas decor and was not for sale. “…but I collect snowmen. I need him!”. Again, I apologized that he was not for sale and asked her what else I could help her with. We found her shampoo and hairspray. As she was leaving, she took one the candies I keep at the front desk for our customers, scowled at me and said “I can’t believe you won’t sell me your snowman!”. …then stood there and pouted, for over 2 minutes….even after I came from behind the counter to help another customer.

– We sell the Wet Brush at our shop. It is an awesome brush for anyone dealing with tangles, no ripping at the hair, no more dialing 911 with one hand as your other hand is stuck in your hair along with your brush, no more children running away from you screaming as they see you coming at them, brush in hand. I had a woman ask me why it was called the Wet Brush. I explained to her that is meant to be used in wet hair to help get through tough tangles. She asked if it can be used on dry hair, and I told her yes – it gets out tangles on dry hair too. “So why is it called the WET Brush? Not the WET/DRY brush?”. …I told her the company’s website was on the packaging if she wanted to ask them.

– On more than one occasion I have been asked the following questions;

“What’s the difference between a 1″ curling iron and a 1 1/4″ curling iron?”

“Can I use nail polish on my toe nails?”

“What’s the difference between medium hold hairspray and firm hold hairspray?”

“Can my husband use my gel even if it isn’t from a men’s line?”

“Can anyone use the hand lotion tester?”

– a woman came in the shop looking for wax for hair removal. I led her over to our selection and asked if she used hard wax (no strips) or cream wax (strips). She told me she used the strips, so I showed her our selection of cream waxes. As I was explaining the differences between each one, she asked me which ones won’t burn her skin. I told her none of them should burn her skin. If her skin is being burned, she has her wax pot temperature too high. “I was wondering why it was burning my lips” she said. I let her know that when she waxes her upper lip she should keep the wax away from her lips, to which she told me “those aren’t the lips I am talking about.”, just as her husband approached us. Seems she has taught her husband to wax her unmentionables and tends to burn her “down there”. ….I need a raise.

 

 

 

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Christmas Presence

As I sit here, snow is falling, Christmas carols are playing on the radio, lights are twinkling on the tree and my loved ones are safe and snuggled under warm blankets watching a movie. I am relishing the peace for it is the middle of December, which for any of us in the service industry/retail sector, we know is the beginning of the craziest, busiest time of the year. I have been working the Holiday/Christmas season for over 20 years, and have seen it all, from mothers beginning to cry because the antlers that their child needed for the Christmas pageant broke and are now out of stock to husbands panicking that the KMS gift pack their wife wanted is no longer available and he can’t go home without it. I have seen grown women lose it over the fact the newest red holiday shade of polish is sold out and have had a grown man throw a flat iron at me because I wouldn’t return it for him because he didn’t have a receipt, or the box for that matter. One commonality I have always found – too many people are concerned about their Christmas presents instead of their Christmas presence.

Last year I wrote of the pressure women (and gents…mostly the ladies) put on themselves over the holidays (see link below)

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/12/03/its-time-to-paint-your-own-picture/ .

I told a tale of letting go and easing up on yourself and your loved ones. This year, my tale will be one of presence. Too many of us are not present, in our own lives, in the lives of our loved ones, in our conversations, hell, even in our driving. We are getting so caught up in the idea of the perfect gift and the perfect dinner that we aren’t even able to keep up with who got who what gift and cannot even remember what that perfect dinner tasted like. Being me, I have compiled a little list, a how to for the holidays if you will.

– When you are out shopping with your child and they stop at the big tree in the mall exclaiming “WOW!!! It’s so pretty!” instead of yanking their little arm and scowling “yeah, yeah…lets go!” stand with them for a minute and agree with them. Take the few seconds, take a breath and make a memory.

– We all have those friends/family members that need a Santa picture. Here’s the deal, if your child doesn’t want to sit on Santa’s lap, don’t make them. Stand beside Santa holding your child, or forgo the picture all together. Your loved ones will survive a Christmas without a Santa photo. I know mine have. *Think about it…all year we scold “don’t talk to strangers” then force our kids to talk to  a stranger AND sit on his lap…no wonder there are so many tears.

– When you are shopping and a sales person asks if you need a hand, let us help you.  Let yourself be helped, it will ease the stress that you can’t find what you are looking for, and if by chance it is out of stock, we can let you know when the product is arriving and can call you when it arrives. …oh, for me, please do not say “already got two!” when we ask if you need a hand – trust me, we have heard it.

– Be kind to the cashier. She has been standing there for hours, has 5 more hours left of her shift and only gets a 30 minute break during an 8 hour shift, having to deal with people yelling at her for things she has no control over, like the debit being down, or a product being out of stock, or being yelled  at by a manager because she said “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays”. – the latter happened to yours truly…I kept saying Merry Christmas.

– If your family doesn’t like turkey, you do not have to have it for Christmas dinner. It’s okay. The ghost of Christmas past, present and future will not haunt you. Make a meal that everyone enjoys, that you enjoy making. Trust me, I know of what I speak. I tried to do the “Christmas dinner with all the trimmings” and the whole day with every dish I prepared all I thought was who wasn’t going to like what and that I was disappointing Martha Stewart. This year I am making quesadilla’s. They are always a hit, everyone loves them and I spend less time in the kitchen and more time in the living room with my family.

– When you are getting your groceries, give to your local food bank. Many grocery store already have prepacked bags of food ready to give. Most packs cost $4.99 (the cost of your two morning coffees on your way to work)  and can give a family more than one meal. It’s a win/win, a mother will be able to make a meal for her child, and your child got to see their mother help her.

– Always give to the Salvation Army. The Salvation Army does more than you can imagine.

– Try not to complain so much about having to go to your Mother’s/Father’s house…again. Many have lost a parent, or both parents and wish that they had to sit through another conversation about how “easy we have it these days”.

This season, take it easy on yourself. Take it easy on your loved ones, for it is not their fault you are stressed that what you wanted to buy them is no longer available. Take a breath. Take a friend a coffee. Give to your local food bank. Make your hubby his favorite treat. Teach your child how to make cookies. Send a Christmas card or a text out of the blue. Smile as you pass people on the street or in the grocery aisle. Your Christmas presence will mean more to many than your Christmas presents will mean to one.

Beauty, Business, communication, entertainment, Hair Care, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Full Moon Monthly

For those of you familiar with my blog, you are well aware of my “Tales of Truth” series. As I was going through my archives I realized most of my Tales of Truth moments went hand in hand with the arrival of the full moon. So gather ’round ladies and gents, boys and girls and welcome to the first of many installments of Full Moon Monthly, brought to you by none other than That girl in the red coat. (as stated before…these are based on ACTUAL events. I have witnesses)

I hear the chirp of the shop’s door. I smile and greet the customer “Good Morning!”. She  looks around and says “Are you talking to me?”. I let her know, yes, I am talking to her. She stares. So I ask “Can I help you find something?”. “Yes, I am looking for a Shampoo that I can buy where I live, I don’t always want to drive into town.”. So I ask her where does she live and she tells me “I don’t tell people my personal information.”. …wait for it….there you go.

A woman came into the shop looking for the mousse her stylist just used. I asked her if she remembered the name of the product. She told me “No! Why would I remember the name of a product that I thought was horrible and smelled bad.”. So I asked her if she wanted me to show her some other mousses she may like and she said “No, I want the one my stylist used, if I go to her smelling like another product I might hurt her feelings.”.

There I was, innocently counting the nail polishes for an inventory count when a woman comes into the shop. “Hello” I say, to which she responds “I used to use these polishes until my niece quit beauty school and got ’em cheap for me. She is useless and spoiled rotten.”. …okay then. So I ask her “Can I help you find something?” to which she says “Yeah, tell me what will help me with my hair, since my husband left me 20 years ago and it gave me the cancer of the Uterus and the lying Doctor’s told me that my ovaries would keep the menopause away my hair just ain’t the same.”. As I went to show her some products she looked at me and said “I don’t have time for this, I gotta go catch the bus.Thanks for the lovely chat and I will be back!”. – cue Twilight Zone theme

From time to time, we are out of stock of a product, sometimes because of back orders, sometimes because the product is an awesome product and sells well. I know empty spots on the shelves are a no no, but they happen. I was told by a customer, three times in a row that it was pathetic that her product wasn’t there. (well, in the size of bottle she preferred). I explained about the back orders ( the distributor moved warehouses hence back orders for a few weeks). I offered to call her as soon as the product came in. She asked if I knew when the product would arrive. I explained that I didn’t know, that the warehouse would send them as soon as they get them, to which she again said “pathetic”. I told her I was just as frustrated as her, that I didn’t have the product for my clients and customers, but that it wasn’t pathetic.(I know – let sleeping dogs lie…I don’t always follow my own advice). As I rang through her purchase, I let her know our debit connection was slow, to which she smirked and said “I was going to say something but I won’t”. So, me being me, I asked her what it was she wanted to say. “I was going to say “you are used to waiting for things but that would be pathetic…or maybe you would be pathetic about it.”. Well played…gotta give her that…it’s all she’s got.

A customer asks “What shampoo smells the best?”. I let her know she is welcome to open up the bottles and smell them, because what I like she may not. “Pfft…you are a lazy sales person aren’t ya?”. Okay…here we go. I smile, tell her to follow me and show her our best seller, open up the lid and she smells it and exclaims “Why did you show me that?!? It stinks. Show me something I will like the smell of.”. As politely as possible I explained I don’t have the same sense of smell as her and maybe it would be best if she took a moment to smell some of the shampoo’s. She looks at me and says “Okay, why didn’t you say that it the first place?”. …sigh.

“Have you found Jesus?” – something I am asked quite often. One of these believers in urgent need of saving my soul left me a coin with a “version” of the Ten Commandments on it. The coin worried me a little…it was silver. I think she had five more.   ….wait for it….there you go.

A woman comes in the store, sees me and says “HEY! Haven’t seen you in forever!”. I look at her and don’t recognize her. “I’m sorry, have we met?” I say. “Come on! You know me! Come on! Come on! Come On! You remember!”. I stand there, cannot place her face for the life of me. “Come on! You know me! I know you Susie!”. I let her know I am Sara. “Well you look like Susie! Come on! You know you do!”.

I am starting to think that people are coming into the shop in hope that I will write about them.  For the love of god, I hope so.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Tales of Truth – Part 6

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather round. Yes, it is that time again, tales of truth. The past week has been an unusual one, more so than normal. Maybe it’s the weather…a tad milder than normal, maybe it’s the holiday season approaching, maybe it is the pressure to have the turkey basted to perfection. I couldn’t put my finger on it until I was looking at my calender counting the days until the next available hour I would have to myself (December 3rd.) that I realized there is a full moon approaching. That explains everything.

Here is a glimpse into the daily life of that girl in the red coat, what I hear and what I see and sometimes wish I could un-see.

– “Your hair looks so nice, like fur, like….my cat. Oh, your hair reminds me of my cat.” – Thank god she said cat. (wait for it…there you go)

– “I want to get a Brazilian done. I heard it was easy enough. Do you think if I do the splits standing up and use the wall to hold my balance I could do it?”. I didn’t know what to say so I told her to You Tube the how to video on Brazilian Waxing. (You are gonna look it up now aren’t you? You know you are. You aren’t fooling anyone.).

– “If you can curl your hair with it, why do you call it a flat iron?” – how is it that these people make more money than I do?

– “Do you sell toe nail polish?” – had to explain that nail polish can be used on both finger nails and toe nails – I swear I did a shoulder check looking for a camera crew and Ashton Kutcher

– A customer asked the difference between root boost and mousse. I explained that “root boost is sprayed directly at the root, rub it in and then blow dry. A mousse is a foam that you disburse into your hand, emulsify it in both hands and rub it through out the hair, then blow dry.”. She stared at me and responded with “so..what’s the difference?” – Where is the principal’s office when you need it?

– A woman  called the shop asking me if I thought her hair color was too brassy. I told her it would be easier for me to tell if she was at the shop. She asked me why.

– I had a customer ask for a product line I did not carry. “I bought it here before! You don’t know what you are talking about.”. I apologized and explained that our shop has never carried that line. “Well , I know I bought it here! I shop here all the time! Give me your head office’s phone number!”. I told her we were locally owned and operated and not part of a chain. That’s when the light bulb switched on and she realized not only was she in the wrong store, she was on the wrong city. I offered her a complimentary mint.

– “My son loves computers. Can he come behind the counter while I shop?” – didn’t realize I had such a resemblance to Nanny McPhee

– A customer asked me if we sold Sebastian Shaper Plus. I said yes and took her over to the shelf. She just stood there saying “Really. You sell Sebastian Shaper Plus.”. She said it three times, then stared at me. I asked if she wanted me to get it down for her. She nodded as she stared and smiled and then walked up to the counter. I stood back for a minute- in case an alien sprang out of her chest or her head began to spin around.

There are five more days until the full moon. Although the thought of what may be said or seen does frighten me a little, it will make for some great tales to tell and maybe even bring a bit of laughter to an otherwise dull day.