Beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

Tales of Truth – 18th edition

Gather ’round ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is once again time for that girl in the red coat’s Tales of Truth. A full moon is not set to arrive for a few weeks so I cannot blame the following antics on our lunar companion. The warm weather is upon us and the humidex is on the rise, so that may be a factor, or maybe people have simply gone bat shit crazy.

 

– I was helping a woman select her shampoo when another woman came into the shop. I said hello and let her know I would be with her shortly. She told me “I’m just looking”. After I finished with my customer, I walked over to her and asked if she was finding what she was looking for to which I was told “I said I was just looking!”, so I went back to unpacking my orders. As she passed the counter I heard a sigh and turned to ask her if there was something she needed to which she told me “well, yes, there is, but no one is helping me so I am leaving.”.

– a woman called to ask me why I didn’t answer the phone at 8:00 a.m. when she called. I let her know the shop opens at 9:30 a.m. to which she said “you still haven’t answered my question”.

– a woman complained that the flat iron spray I suggested was “Shit and was ruining her hair, not protecting it”. *Educational tip – flat iron spray is to be applied to dry hair – not applied to the flat iron itself.

– A woman came into the shop asking if I could help her find the Goldwell shampoo she uses because she left her glasses at home. As I came from behind the counter to help her she let me know “please don’t mind the smell, I just had some moles burned off.”. …trust me…I wish I was making this shit up.

– A woman asked me if she could buy  the travel size hair dryer even if she doesn’t travel.

– “Do you sell toe nail polish?” – I am asked this more than you want to know

– I had another gentleman ask me if it was possible to wax his own balls – actually, he called them his “little buddies”. …Gilligan’s Island will never be the same for yours truly.

– A product I usually carry was out of stock. My customer wanted to know where else she could buy it. I didn’t know, but offered to give her the phone number of the shops I thought may carry her product. I was told “my customer service was for shit” because I wouldn’t call all the other shop’s in town for her to see if they had what she wanted.

– A couple came in asking about our hair trimmers. I showed them our selection of clippers and trimmers and let them know that the Wahl Peanut is our best seller. It is great for cutting, trimming and outlining. The woman turned to her gent and said “Look! A peanut to use on your peanut!”. …I need a raise.

 

Dad's laugh

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Tales of Truth – 17th edition

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, gather ’round for the 17th edition of That Girl in the Red Coat’s tales of truth. I know that these tales are quite popular and are a fan favorite. I am beginning to wonder if you, my followers are sending people into my shop to see if their escapades and demands will make their way into my latest edition…sweet baby Jesus, I hope so.

A woman came into the shop asking if I sold hair clippers. I walked her over to our selection of clippers, explained their differences and their prices. Once I was finished she asked me “What kind of hair can I trim with these?”. I took a deep breath and asked “What hair do you want to trim?” as I silently told myself not to show it on my face as I wondered where I put the hand sanitizer. “Oh, the usual hair. My boyfriend’s hair, my hair, my pussycat’s hair. I like to give him a new spring hairdo every year.”. …thank god, she added cat to that sentence.

The phone rings and I answer with my standard greeting. “Yeah, Hi. Do you sell eyelashes?”. I let her know that we do retail false eyelashes and that the price ranges depending on if she wants acrylic or human hair eyelashes. “Oh my god! How do you get human eyelashes?!? Are they pulled out of people’s eyes and sold to the public?”. – I actually stood there, at the counter, took the phone away from my ear and stared at it.

We offer a great selection of flatirons. A woman came in because she needed to replace her flatiron. I showed her our selection and explained the differences in plate widths, which models had universal voltage and which were ceramic or titanium plates. She asked me “Why are there different widths to the plates?”. I let her know that it usually comes down to personal preference and that the 1 inch plate is the most popular because you can achieve a curl with it. “Why call it a flat iron if you can curl with it? It should be called a curling iron if you ask me!”.

A woman came in wanting to return her hairspray, slamming the bottle onto the counter, complaining that her hairspray wasn’t holding her style at all and that we had sold her crap. “Look at how wet and flat my hair is!”. Before I could look at the bottle she complained that her “leave in conditioner was a disappointment too!”. I took the bottle off the counter, turned it around to look at the label, gave it back to her and let her know that the bottle she wanted to return was her leave in conditioner and that she may have gotten the products mixed up. “Hmmpt….maybe that’s why my hair felt sticky when I was blowdrying.”.

A woman asked me what nail polish color was a good color. I let her know that the Spring collections were offering pastels and brights this year. So then she says “What color will I like?” I ask her “What is your favorite color?”. I guess that was the wrong question. “Look, I asked you what color would I like! Why won’t you tell me what color I would like?!?!”. I picked up the most popular pink shade and showed it to her, to which she told me “I don’t like pink.”.

The phone rings and before I can finish my greeting I hear “Yeah, I like colored my hair and it is kind of like red and gold, but more orange and kind of like yellow. Do you sell toner to fix it?”. I let her know that it would be best to go to a Salon and have them fix it for her, especially because I can’t see her hair to which she replied “I just told you the color it was.”.

With the temperatures rising and the days getting longer, those who have not ventured out in many months have decided to come out of their winter’s slumber and come into the shop with certain inquiries and questions. Once again, I cannot stress this enough…these are based on real events. I couldn’t make this shit up.

– Can nail polish remover be used on finger nails and toe nails?

– I used my foot cream on my hands. Do I need to see my doctor?

– Do I need to comb my husband’s back hair before I trim it?

– Can I use the glue from the dollar store on my false eyelashes?

– If my son uses my color shampoo will it color his hair?

– Will the scent of this hairspray bother my husband’s allergies?

– My car is in direct sunlight. Will my hairspray blow up while I am driving home?

– Do you color your hair so people won’t look at the scar on your neck? – this gem happened today

Last but never least, the piece de resistance…. A gentleman came into the shop inquiring about our hair removal products. He told me he had been going to someone for his “removal needs” but thought he could save some time and money having his own supplies at home. I showed him our selection of waxes and explained the difference between hard wax and cream waxes, which needed strips and which ones didn’t. “I have my girlfriend to help me with my back. I do have a question for you though. Is it possible for me to wax my own balls?”. Yep. His exact words. I looked him straight in the eye and told him that I wouldn’t suggest it, that it was possible and that there will be blood. “Maybe my girlfriend would do it for me” he said with  a wink and a smile and a nudge. I shit you not, a nudge. I just walked back  to the counter, rang through his purchase and wished him luck. …..a week later he came back to pick up a product his girlfriend had on hold. I knew who he was and what he had done. I rang through his purchase, wished him  a pleasant evening and that is when he quite proudly shared that “It worked and hardly any blood!”.

 

Dad's laugh

 

 

 

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Mr. Miyagi and no wax floors

I hear the familiar chirp of the shop’s door chime. “Do you sell wax?” I am asked. “Are you looking for hair wax for styling or wax for hair removal?” (I always clarify…you never know.). “For hair removal, I want to do my own waxing.”. A phrase I hear just as often as I hear “I thought the hair color I put on my hair 3 weeks ago grows out that color.”. Yes, I hear it often. I do. Seriously.

So, I ask the question I always ask in this situation, “Have you waxed by yourself before?”. More often than not, the answer is “No, but it looks easy enough.”. Well my lovelies, looks can be deceiving. Yes, waxing is easier and quicker than shaving…if you know what you are doing. The wax must  be the correct consistency, the proper temperature and must be applied properly – not too thick or thin of a layer, and you must rip the strip in the proper direction. Also, depending on the area of the body, the proper wax must be used or Mr. Miyagi’s “wax on, wax off” will have a whole new meaning.

Waxing your legs is one thing. If you decide to wax your own brows, BE SURE you know what you are doing. One slip of the strip and you may begin to hear “live long and prosper” while strolling down the lane way. If you are attempting facial waxing, be sure to hold the skin taut or excess facial hair won’t be your only issue. The same goes for underarm waxing. This is not a one person job, at least not on your first 20 attempts. Unless you want to walk around with your arms sticking out like Randy in his snowsuit in a Christmas Story, have a helper. Oh, and if you prefer the look and feel of a Brazilian wax and you think it’s no big deal, first, god be with you. Second, get someone to slap you and go to a Salon. Seriously, it is an intimate procedure and if the wrong wax is used, there will be blood. There is a reason why homes have “no wax floors”. The only person besides you and your aesthetician that needs to see that is your gynecologist.

Oh, and one more thing. If you attempt to wax at home, and you get ingrown hairs, I don’t need to see them. I know what they are and what they look like. I really, I mean, I really do not need to see anymore bikini lines riddled with red bumps while I am standing at the front counter.

“Wax on, wax off”. Oh Mr. Miyagi, you made it sound so simple.