1

Family Ties

For those of you familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I give credit where credit is due and am grateful for inspiration. From the Ladies & Gents I meet on a daily basis, to my dear ol’ Dad, to Tabatha Coffey to darling Grandmother Leah, who I miss dearly, everyday, to name a few. Today’s tale is to share another person of inspiration, a P.O.I. if you will. Let me introduce you to my Aunt Pat.

My Dad was adopted and had been on a search for his birth parents. In the 70’s public record was unheard of, so all records were sealed. No google. No internet. Zip. Every call my Dad made left all clues covered and every question unanswered. My Dad made one more call. The powers that be made sure this would be the last call he would need to make to uncover his past. The woman on the phone let my father know that she couldn’t tell my father the information on record, but she could let him know if the information he had collected was correct. Within  minutes my Dad’s history began to come to light and I had another Aunt, Uncle and cousins.

I first met my Aunt Pat when I was 7. My parents had invited Pat and her family to dinner at our house in Kitchener. Dinner was planned, the table was set and we waited. I remember my Aunt Pat when she came in the door. She seemed to float. She had such an easy breezy vibe about her, a pretty smile and her eyes sparkled. I liked her right away. I knew my Aunt Pat was a cool cat because I knocked her kid out and she still liked me. Yep. First time meeting my Dad’s long lost family and what does Sara do? Oh, she plays Frisbee with her new cousin, hits him square in the face with said Frisbee and he goes down like a sack of potatoes while the blood pours out of this lip. Did I mention that they had been at our house maybe all of 90 minutes? Over the years, there were dinners and visits to their cottage, rides on their boat, trivial pursuit show downs and throw downs and never a word mentioned of the Frisbee massacre of 1979. …told you she is a cool cat.

Fast forward to the summer yours truly was 19. I had just graduated high school and been dumped a month before prom. I was broken hearted, pissed off that I hadn’t broken up with the boy first and in an all around “what the F*#K! am I gonna do with my life” mood.  My parents had been invited to my Aunt Pat’s cottage and I was invited along. We took the boat over to the island the cottage was on…did I say cottage? Let me clear…it was an oasis. Once the boat docked, there was my Aunt Pat waiting on the dock with her killer smile, sparkling eyes and open arms. That weekend was just what the doctor ordered. Good food, rides on the boat – laying on the front of the boat with my Aunt Pat, sunning ourselves on the way to drink some beer on the local patio’s, long, restful naps, game nights and laughter. My Aunt Pat, like my Grandma Leah, had a way of making everything seem effortless and making everyone feel like they were the only person in the room.

A little fact about my Aunt Pat- she was a teacher. Now she is an actress. Yep. An actress. On stage and on screen. A little known fact about yours truly – I think of my Aunt Pat pursuing her dreams and making them come true when I am in unfamiliar territory and feeling the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. My Aunt Pat has always been my cheerleader and has followed my blog from the start. Her words of encouragement and her comments on my blog mean more to me than she will ever know. So today’s tale is dedicated to my Aunt Pat, her smile, her sparkling eyes, her awesomeness and her inspiration.

 

 

 

2

Tales of Truth – The Holiday Editions

The past few hours have been quite strange. I usually don’t post from the shop but today has been weird and all our staff is off today and I gotta tell somebody. I have checked my calendar and I know that the full moon is set to arrive on the 25th., so my question is this… are the stars misaligned? Is the universe in retrograde? Did I miss the Facebook status that this year we are to share our Christmas crazy along with our cookies? Was there a tweet daring people to get their crazy on? Is the owner attempting her own version of “Smile! You are on candid camera!”. I am hoping that these people have heard of my Salon Tales and their Tales of Truth and are trying to get me to write about them. If this is the case, guess what buttercup!?! Today is your lucky day. You are getting your 15 minutes of fame.

9:20 a.m. – the phone rings. My standard greeting is interrupted by a woman telling me “Yeah. I left my debit card there yesterday.”. I let her know that no debit cards were left behind at our shop. All I hear is silence, then “Are you sure? ‘cuz yours was the last place I was yesterday.”. I let her know I check the till and our lost & found every day and there wasn’t anything left behind all weekend. “So, you’re telling me you don’t have my card.”. I let her know that is correct, I do not have your card. “You’re sure you don’t have it”. I told her I was sure to which she muffled “uh huh” and hung up on me. …by the way, the shop opens at 9;30 a.m..

9:35 a.m. – I am in the back room when I hear the chirp of the shop’s door. As I walk through our Salon to get the front of the shop a woman says “Oh good! You’re here! Cut my hair would ya?”. I let her know that I am the manager and the Salon was closed this morning. “How can it be closed? You just walked through it!”.

9:42 a.m. – A woman called to let me know the curling iron she bought is no longer heating up. I asked her if she still had the box and the receipt, she told me yes. I let her know to bring in the box, the receipt and the curling iron and I can exchange her defective curling iron for a new one. The phone fell silent. I said “Hello?”. “Yeah, I’m still here. I have to say, I am disappointed that I have to pack this up just to bring it to you. You know what? I will bring it all and you can pack it up!”. So I told her I would gladly help her out to which she said “Well, aren’t you a smart ass!”…..fa la la la la, la la la la.

10:15 a.m. …almost 35 minutes have passed, a little reprieve for your truly. A woman came in looking for hair clippers for her husband. I showed her our selection and their differences. She asked me which one would fit comfortably in her husband’s hand. I let her know that I didn’t know to which she got upset asking me “Why won’t anyone tell me what will feel comfortable in my husband’s hands!!!”. I looked at her for a minute, thought to myself, what the hell and told her “We don’t have his hands.”. She looked at me and said “I know that! He has his hands. You have yours! What’s that got to do with anything?!?”. …sigh

10:35 a.m. – A woman couldn’t understand why she couldn’t “try out” our tweezers. All I could think and hope wasn’t showing on my face was first of all, they are sealed in their packaging and second, uh…yuck.

10:50 a.m. – We sell hair & nose hair trimmers. Some models come with a detachable blade so the trimmer can be used on your bikini line. I was asked if it could be used to trim “you know…the hair on your buttocks.”. … I wanted the thank the customer for not referring to it as “ass crack hair”, as some have eloquently put it in the past.

12:36 p.m. – a few hours have passed and all my customers have been pleasant. I start to let my guard down. The phone rings. My greeting is once again interrupted by “Yeah. I called earlier. You’re sure you don’t have my debit card?!?!”. I let the woman know I am the manager and that yes, I am sure that I don’t have her card. I haven’t seen it. I don’t know where it is. “I came into your shop right after I bought vitamins in the health food shop beside yours! You were the last shop I was in! I think you have it and won’t give it back!”. It was then I let her know that we do not have a health food store beside us. All I heard was CLICK.

1:35 p.m. – a man came in asking if we had any shampoo for men. I let him know that all the shampoo I sell is for men and women and that most men tend to like KMS or American Crew. He asked to see the American Crew so I showed him our selection. I let him know he was welcome to open the lids and smell the products. He asked me which ones would help him “catch the ladies”.

….I need more coffee.

That Girl in the Red Coat