Beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women

Giving Thanks

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It’s Thanksgiving in Canada. As I was having my coffee this morning, I had a feeling something was missing. A feeling of something left undone, forgotten. I have been feeling this way almost everyday lately. With everything happening in the world from the ever present Covid 19, the always infuriating Trump, the continued injustice of black, minority and indigenous people, it’s safe to say my mind has been spinning and I have been finding it hard to focus. So, I went about my morning, getting the laundry in the washer, starting meal prep, having a social distanced coffee with my folks, the usual “day off” routine. Yup, no turkey prep for this gal. We do not celebrate Thanksgiving in the traditional sense since my hubby had a heart attack 9 years ago on Thanksgiving weekend. Back to the tale at hand. As I was going through the motions of my routine I still had that aching feeling I was forgetting something. To be honest, I knew what it was I was forgetting. I’ve known everyday. I wasn’t writing.

My last entry was May 24th. I had just returned to work. Jesus, I thought retail before Covid was interesting… . Those of you familiar with my blog, (9 years of loyal following, thank you), know I tell it like it is. Well, this is how it is. I haven’t written in over 4 months for two reasons. 1 – I’ve been pissed off. 2 – I didn’t trust myself because of my anger. I didn’t want to come across as a raving lunatic. I didn’t want to upset the apple cart. I didn’t want to lose the following I have. This morning, as I stepped outside for a cigarette… yes, I’m still smoking, let’s move on, I finally listened to the advice I’ve been dishing to everyone else. I’m a “helper” as Brene Brown says. I love to help everyone, from boosting up their self esteem to making sure they have enough toilet paper. … Covid …who knew? The one person I don’t seem to help enough is me. So, this is me, helping me, and hopefully you as well. (I told you I was a helper).

I am in no way an expert, nor a guru on the mount. What I am is a 48 year old woman who has made her share of mistakes, had her share of triumphs and defeats. I am a woman who’s life isn’t how I pictured it would be, whose been thrown curve balls and sucker punches and lived to tell the tale. I’ve been (and sometimes still am) a woman who worries what others think, if I’m disappointing anyone. I’m a mother who worries if I did all I could for my daughter while she was growing up. I’m a woman who has been married 26 years and finds herself wondering how so much has changed yet stayed the same. I’m a woman who is quick with a sassy remark, and also, a woman who, I’m sorry to say, can be quick to judge.

Thanks to Covid, I’m a human being trying to get through each changing day, trying to keep my head above water and not make Covid the only thing I focus on. I’m a woman who’s here to tell you that you are not alone. We all have moments of doubt, of fear, of hopelessness. Believe it or not, that is what I’m most thankful for. As I see it, those moments are the moments that prove we are all the same. Shred away the bravado, the ego, we are all just, in the words of June Carter Cash, “trying to matter.”. If we are all the same, maybe, just maybe, that means we can have each other’s back.

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, writing

Seven Year Itch

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Yesterday as I plopped into my favorite chair with my morning cup of Joe I heard the all too familiar bottle cap notification coming from my phone. It was an email alerting me of my 7 year anniversary as a blogger. 7 years. Within seconds my mind was flooded with images from the past 7 years. Nervously circling the table, staring at the computer, deciding to just go for it and write. Coming home from work to find a laptop waiting for me, given to me by my hubby with a “Happy Birthday” screensaver (which is still my screensaver by the way). Kristen Johnston reading my blog and retweeting it. Wynonna Judd sharing my “Kindness 101” blog that ended up getting over 700 views within hours. https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/07/21/kindness-101/    Major hair companies following my tales. Magazine editor’s and Hollywood stars following my blog. Writing opportunities coming my way. Strangers thanking me for my hair advice. Strangers laughing at my “Tales of Truth” series. My blog being read across the globe. The list of memories is endless.

Fast forward to today. For those of you familiar with my blog, you are well aware of the struggles I have been having trying to decide which direction my blog and I should take. I began this blog while managing a Salon/retail shop and once the shop closed I felt I didn’t have a platform of which to write. Every single fear and anxiety reared it’s ugly head and I am sad to say, more often than not, they won the battle, not me. I was having coffee with a dear friend yesterday and when I told her of my blogging anniversary I received a high five. During our conversation I came to the realization that I started this blog to spread information and to educate and enlighten, not only for hair care, but for all aspects of daily life, from business to self care to parenting, speaking my truth in hopes that it may give others the courage to do the same. As a reminder that a little kindness goes a long way.

When I woke up this morning, I found myself wondering if my blog related trepidation was due to the 7 year mark. We’ve all heard of the 7 year itch where relationships/marriage is concerned. Maybe it’s the same with goals. It’s all nerves and excitement at the beginning. Lots of new and exciting things happen. Milestones are reached. Celebrations seem to be every other month. Then things slow down, hit a plateau. It doesn’t seem to be as exciting, the shine is off the diamond if you will. It begins to feel like a chore. Other avenues are catching your eye. You feel like throwing in the towel. At least that’s how it felt for me. What I have come to realize and accept is that things change. Who I was when I began this blog I will never be again, and that’s okay. 7 years have passed and I have more experience, in work and in life. I have more of an understanding of who I was, who I am and who I intend to be. I feel I am a good writer. I enjoy it. It’s cathartic. I came to realize my lack of posts for the past 12 months was due to one thing – I was trying to be something and someone I am not. Writing blogs with others opinions in mind, not my own. I began this blog without any thought of what people would think, just the hope that someone would enjoy it and get something out of it. It’s time to get back to that.

Thank you to all my readers, my followers, my family, my friends and those who have shared my tales. More are on the way… hope you enjoy them.

 

Beauty, health and wellness, lifestyle, Sunday Confessions, That girl in the red coat

Sunday Confessions

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Those of you familiar with my blog know all too well that I am a firm believer in being yourself, believing in yourself and when wanting something, to go for it. While sitting at my favorite window sipping my morning coffee and watching the birds frolicking on the lawn under the bird feeder I realized I had something to confess.

Last week I told you about the Joico Fall Trend Show that I was fortunate to attend. What I didn’t tell you about was the evening before. Around 8 p.m. the evening before the show I wasn’t sure if I was going to go. I was worried that it was a mistake to go, that I didn’t belong there. All the other shows and gala’s I have attended, not only was I a blogger with 35 professional hair care lines under her belt, I was a manager of a Salon/retail shop. Now that I am no longer in a Salon environment on a daily basis, I was worried I had no place at a Hair Show’s table. Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous and yes, I know I am always saying the opinions of others do not matter, and yes, I know it is best to listen to the whispers of hope and goodness rather than the shouts of dismay… sometimes, we all have our weak moments and the darkness starts to set in.

I woke up last Monday morning with a nervous belly ache. I hadn’t slept well, due to my nervousness and my snoring bed companion. As I made my coffee, I told myself, “you are going.”. I made myself post pictures and Instagram stories of my preparations for the show in an attempt to change my perspective and give myself that little push to go for it. I did my makeup, I did my hair, I put on my new boots I bought for this day …they are fabulous by the way, I said goodbye to my hubby and my girl as they told me I looked beautiful and that “you got this!”, I got in my car, put the destination in my GPS and I was off. When I arrived, it was raining and my umbrella busted the moment I opened it. Everything in me wanted to use this as an excuse that the universe was trying to tell me I wasn’t supposed to be there, instead I chose to think, “Sara, you need a new umbrella.”. I rushed in, trying to keep my ‘do in tact and found my way to the hall. As I walked past the banners and the stylists I heard my name. As others were scrounging for their tickets to get through the door all you heard down the hallway was “Sara! Your ticket is waiting for you inside, just go on in!”. Some heads turned with the look of “Who’s that?” as I walked by. Once I got in, within minutes I was greeted with hugs from former colleagues and stylists. I even ran into stylists that I had done private consultations at their Salons. Everyone asking how I had been, what I am up to and all happy to hear my news and happy to see me. Stylists complimenting my hair and asking what color I used and what products I suggest. I was able to meet the fabulous stylists and people that I follow on Instagram and who follow me. I heard “Yay! You’re here!” many times that day. It was a good day. One I am grateful for on so many levels.

The point to today’s confession? No matter how scared you are, how nervous you might be, you have to take chances. You have to get off your ass and make your life happen. I know all too well how easy it is to listen to the self doubt voices shouting and how hard it can be to hear the whispers of self confidence. If you quiet your mind for even a few seconds, they are there and you will hear them. All we can control in this life is ourselves and our minds. That is the reason for my posts and stories that morning, I was giving myself a positive visual, I was making my mind believe the good of my experience. I was “faking it ’til I make it” if you will. Here I was thinking I wouldn’t fit in, that I would look foolish or look like a loser for showing up and all the while, it was exactly where I was supposed to be and was welcomed with open arms.

Be gentle with yourselves Beauties, we are all doing the best we can with what we’ve got at the moment. We all feel scared. We all worry we won’t fit in. Take chances. Believe in yourself. A change may be just around the next corner. Grab hold of that door, take a deep breath, open it and walk through. No matter what happens, you will know you did it, that you tried and that is a thing of beauty.

health and wellness, lifestyle, That girl in the red coat, Women

When there’s a will, there’s a way

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As I was sitting in my kitchen this morning, staring at my blank screen, contemplating my life, wondering if I was making the right choices, a shadow flickered out of the corner of my eye. I looked out my window to see a bird perched on my rose bush. It’s been blooming for over a month now and until this morning I never noticed the  single rose blooming on a branch that was connected to a dead branch. Way up above the rest of the blooms, there it was, a rose blooming from a dead branch that is over 4 feet long, has a rose, in full bloom, it all it’s glory.

That’s when it hit me. If there’s a will, there’s a way. Always. If this rose could figure out a way to grow and bloom from a dead branch, anything is possible.

Since the shop closed, 2 years ago now, I have been trying to figure out my next step. Well, that is what I said I was doing, honestly,I was coasting along hoping my next step would just arrive at my front door along with my Amazon orders. It wasn’t until this past April, when, once again, I was faced with another small business closure and in turn, a job loss. I saw it as a nudge from the universe to focus on my writing,my consulting and my brand. You see, I thought I could only do one or the other, either work or write/consult. Over the past 6 weeks, I have been networking, blogging, making things happen if you will, all the while taking care of everything “household” from dishes to cooking to cleaning the gutters…yes, I cleaned the gutters. I bought a new ladder and everything. A little scared about how excited I was about a new ladder…must have something to do with my forties. I had many job offers come my way, even an old employer asking if I was interested in coming back. I turned down the offers, except one. My old employer’s offer. I met with him and offered my services on a on-call basis. He was happy with that, although it felt he had hoped for more. For the next 10 days, it kept playing on my mind. Last week a situation that I thought forced my hand made me call my old boss and tell him I would take the job, four days a week and gave him the hours I was comfortable with. He agreed and I left the meeting with smiles from employees, the owner and a hug from my old manager saying “So happy to have you back.”. The situation that I thought forced my hand isn’t important. What is important is I realized my hand wasn’t forced, I just needed a big push to make a decision, and that was it. I had been contemplating the offer for over a week, wavering over the opinions of others, fear it would end up being the same experience as it had been 8 years ago, worrying that I would lose myself and in turn my writing. Deep down I knew it was the best move for me right now. Have a job that provides an income for the household while still having 3 days to focus on and build my blog and brand.

When I saw the rose this morning, I literally had an Oprah AHA! moment. Here I was worrying I couldn’t do both, when all the while I have been doing both. Actually, I have been doing more than two things at once. Depending on the day, I can have four to six tasks at hand and sooner or later, they all get done and done well. I started my blog and my brand while working 40 – 44 hours a week running a Salon/retail shop and everything that entailed, running a household and raising a teenage millennial…if I could do that, hell, this will be a walk in the park.

What you want in life comes to you, if you let it. You gotta put in the time, the work, the sweat, the tears. When doubt and fear rear their ugly mugs, tell’em to shove it and keep going. It won’t always be pretty. It may not happen when you want it to happen, it will when you need it to happen. Many times  we feel everything is going to pot. It’s not, it’s just that we are in the middle of our story. When there’s a will, there’s a way. If a rose can figure that out, I think we can too.

 

health and wellness, lifestyle, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear

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You can get back up off the floor now. Yes, yours truly is posting again. I have taken some time away, to figure out my focus and where to go from here. Five years ago, as a manager of a retail shop/Salon, I sat down and began my blogging adventures. Starting with humour and hair “how to’s” in hopes of helping the Ladies and Gents gain control of their hair. Within months, as I regained my self confidence, my blog began to take on a life of it’s own. Job opportunities arose, questions were posed, I became a Retail Consultant and the light began to shine a little brighter. Fast forward to present day. I am no longer in the Salon. Although strong ties to my beloved industry are still intact, I am no longer on the front lines so to speak. At first I didn’t know what to do or where my blog was going. So, I took a step back. I turned my focus onto my life, my family, and quite honestly, how and where I was going to earn a living. I thought my blogging days were done, the powers that be had other plans.

Whenever I spoke to friends, I would find myself thinking “I bet a lot of people feel this way…I should write about it.”. Be it marriage woes, attempting to walk the tight rope of parenting millennials, watching a loved one in pain, emotional or otherwise and having no control or say in the matter or simply feeling overwhelmed by life in general. When discussing my idea’s for my “new and improved” blog with those I trust, many who have never met each other, they all told me the same thing. “I like your blogs about hair and products, but I LOVE your blogs about life.”.

Some of the favorites have been;

Kindness 101

Beware of yoga pants & ponytails

Receding hairlines and muffin tops

The Emily Post of retail.

My morning Coffey

 

So Beauties, here it is, a blog to help add some humor and light into your day, about finding the beauty in everything, life, love, lifestyle and parenting a millennial …God help us.  Yes, I will still allow you to be a fly on the wall in my life and hear about the funny things I see and hear on a daily basis (well, I think they’re hilarious.). That Girl in the Red Coat Consulting services will still be available (call me.).

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Women

…nudge

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Okay Universe, I feel your nudge.

 

…it’s been quite a week! Long story short, one door closes and another opens. The shop is closing. Everyone has a journey and a path that is best suited for them and their lives and must do what is best for them, hence the owner’s decision to close the shop and move on to a place that is more suited for her vision. She is a wonderful stylist and will continue to do well, of that I am certain. As for yours truly, I am excited to see what is around every corner. I love the Beauty industry and anticipate great things.

For those familiar with my blog, you know of my “go for it!” attitude. Well, it’s safe to say, it’s time I take a dose of my own medicine and go for it. What “it” is exactly, I do not know. What I know for sure is this; I will continue to blog and I will continue to be an Independent Retail Consultant. The support and the kindness that has been bestowed upon me these last few days has been humbling and, quite honestly, a huge boost to my ego and for that I am grateful beyond words. I am approaching my 44th birthday and many opportunities are presenting themselves so I got a feeling 44 is gonna be FAB!.

So, stay tuned Beauties! Stay tuned.

 

 

 

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

…out of Clay

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Today’s tale offers yet another glimpse behind the curtain of That Girl in the Red Coat. Those familiar with me and my Salon Tales are well aware of my sass and my firm believe that a little pixie dust goes a long way. That with hard work, kindness and belief in yourself, sooner or later, what you need or desire will most certainly come to pass. Over the past few days, I, as well as many others around the globe, found themselves saying good bye. The world lost a great athlete, humanitarian and human being. I can still remembering asking my father “who’s that?” when I saw Muhammad Ali being sassy with Howard Cosell during an interview on ABC sports. I remember wondering how he could get away with it…and wondering if I could too. Safe to say, Mr. Ali had a fan in me from the start. I loved his sassy quips like “If you even dream of beating me, you’d better wake up and apologize!”, “I’m so mean I make medicine sick” and of course when he went on about how pretty he was. He was pretty.

It wasn’t until I was much older that I learned about all Mr. Ali had won, then lost only to rise once again to the top. How he stayed true to himself and his beliefs, no matter what the cost. He spoke with an educated elegance that resonated in me, and continues to do so. He never gave up. Any time life knocked him down, he got back up. Something I try to do everyday.

Since I was about 12, I have been a collector of quotes. Some funny, some rude, some inspirational. Many of my favorite quotes have been Muhammad Ali’s. I remember when I was pondering starting my blog and later when I was pondering the idea of becoming an Independent Retail Consultant and my fears and doubts crept up… “what if no one reads it?”. “What if no one thinks I am qualified?”. “What if I fall flat on my face?”. Then Mr. Ali’s words popped into my head “It ain’t braggin’ if you can back it up!”. …and he was right. Slowly but surely my fears and doubts faded away because I could back it up. I had the knowledge, the experience and the know how. I also knew when to ask questions, to admit when I did not know something and then learn about it with  a vengeance.

In the infamous words of Mr. Ali himself “I hated every minute of training, but I said, don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion”. So here’s the deal Beauties. If you want something, go for it. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Refuse to hear “you can’t do it” and listen for the whispers of “you can do it”. Be patient with yourself. Keep trying. Keep getting up. Always remember, Impossible is nothing.

 

Ali

Beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Family Ties

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For those of you familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I give credit where credit is due and am grateful for inspiration. From the Ladies & Gents I meet on a daily basis, to my dear ol’ Dad, to Tabatha Coffey to darling Grandmother Leah, who I miss dearly, everyday, to name a few. Today’s tale is to share another person of inspiration, a P.O.I. if you will. Let me introduce you to my Aunt Pat.

My Dad was adopted and had been on a search for his birth parents. In the 70’s public record was unheard of, so all records were sealed. No google. No internet. Zip. Every call my Dad made left all clues covered and every question unanswered. My Dad made one more call. The powers that be made sure this would be the last call he would need to make to uncover his past. The woman on the phone let my father know that she couldn’t tell my father the information on record, but she could let him know if the information he had collected was correct. Within  minutes my Dad’s history began to come to light and I had another Aunt, Uncle and cousins.

I first met my Aunt Pat when I was 7. My parents had invited Pat and her family to dinner at our house in Kitchener. Dinner was planned, the table was set and we waited. I remember my Aunt Pat when she came in the door. She seemed to float. She had such an easy breezy vibe about her, a pretty smile and her eyes sparkled. I liked her right away. I knew my Aunt Pat was a cool cat because I knocked her kid out and she still liked me. Yep. First time meeting my Dad’s long lost family and what does Sara do? Oh, she plays Frisbee with her new cousin, hits him square in the face with said Frisbee and he goes down like a sack of potatoes while the blood pours out of this lip. Did I mention that they had been at our house maybe all of 90 minutes? Over the years, there were dinners and visits to their cottage, rides on their boat, trivial pursuit show downs and throw downs and never a word mentioned of the Frisbee massacre of 1979. …told you she is a cool cat.

Fast forward to the summer yours truly was 19. I had just graduated high school and been dumped a month before prom. I was broken hearted, pissed off that I hadn’t broken up with the boy first and in an all around “what the F*#K! am I gonna do with my life” mood.  My parents had been invited to my Aunt Pat’s cottage and I was invited along. We took the boat over to the island the cottage was on…did I say cottage? Let me clear…it was an oasis. Once the boat docked, there was my Aunt Pat waiting on the dock with her killer smile, sparkling eyes and open arms. That weekend was just what the doctor ordered. Good food, rides on the boat – laying on the front of the boat with my Aunt Pat, sunning ourselves on the way to drink some beer on the local patio’s, long, restful naps, game nights and laughter. My Aunt Pat, like my Grandma Leah, had a way of making everything seem effortless and making everyone feel like they were the only person in the room.

A little fact about my Aunt Pat- she was a teacher. Now she is an actress. Yep. An actress. On stage and on screen. A little known fact about yours truly – I think of my Aunt Pat pursuing her dreams and making them come true when I am in unfamiliar territory and feeling the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. My Aunt Pat has always been my cheerleader and has followed my blog from the start. Her words of encouragement and her comments on my blog mean more to me than she will ever know. So today’s tale is dedicated to my Aunt Pat, her smile, her sparkling eyes, her awesomeness and her inspiration.