Beauty, health and wellness, lifestyle, Sunday Confessions, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Sunday Confessions

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I don’t know about you, but for yours truly, the past 3 years have kicked my ass. Emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. These are the main perpetrators of my year hiatus from the blog. I literally couldn’t write anything. I would just look at my laptop, my closed laptop, and feel nothing. Oh, I had feelings, emotions, opinions up the wazoo, yet, when it came to actually sitting down and writing…nada. Until this week. The powers that be, the universe, Jesus, the Smurfs, whomever you choose, helped to light the fire in me once again. So as I sat down at my desk, plugged in my laptop, dusted it off, the universe and it’s infinite humor, reminded me to have patience and ask for help.

I don’t know if you know this, but when you don’t turn on a laptop for over a year, a 12 year old laptop, it um, doesn’t like it. So, there I was, starting, restarting, googling on my phone whatever I thought I should google, from laptop stuck in update loop, to laptop not loading new chrome, to 12 year old laptop not loading, to which my screen went black with the little arrow swirling around. Yes, I do believe my laptop and google were mocking me. Thankfully, the hubby is handsome and handy, and I begrudgingly limped up the stairs (twisted my knee in my sleep, welcome to 50, another tale for another time) and said “Honey, can you help me?”. …and since I’m writing, you know how the story ends. After asking for help, allowing myself to receive said help, and 1.5 hours later, without a tantrum from yours truly, my laptop loaded up and here I am.

I really didn’t have a plan for today’s tale. Looks like the universe gave me one. Those who know me, know all too well I can be hyper independent, some may say stubborn. I am not great at asking for help, and as for patience? Whew. It took 47 years and a goddamn pandemic to teach me that one. That being said, I gotta say, I’m proud of myself today. I asked for help, I took deep breaths and had patience. I didn’t take the laptop fiasco of 2023 personally. I took accountability of said fiasco, because it was me and me alone that did not open my laptop. Did I yell? Nope. Did I get mad at my husband? Nope. Did my palms sweat? Yep. Did my stomach hurt? Hell yeah. Did I get through it? You bet your ass I did. There was a time, I would have blamed Bill Gates himself for my technical issues. I would have either thrown my laptop in the trash and furiously ordered a new one or thrown it out and repeated over and over “See!?! Proof you shouldn’t blog again!” until I forced myself to believe it. Thankfully those days are gone. Gone but not forgotten.

That’s the thing about old habits, they try to rear their heads every once in a while. Right when you think you have your shit together, and you “got this!”, BAM! Your stomach starts to hurt, you feel a little sick and you feel yourself going back to your old ways, because they are what you know, as uncomfortable as they are, you feel comfort from the familiarity. It’s so screwed up, I know.

I’m not an expert, nor a guru on the mount. I’m here to tell you, we are all works in progress. If you’re reading this, you’re alive and you’re here, you made it another day. We have successfully made it through another day. We all have our own shit to deal with, let alone the shit of others. We are all flawed and we are all fabulous. It’s time to give yourself some grace. Take some deep breaths, and some more. Dance around your kitchen like a fool. Get outside, even for 5 minutes. .. and before you throw out a laptop, ask for help.

Beauty, health and wellness, lifestyle, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

2020 Vision

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Here we are. The first day of a new year and a new decade. Every time I scroll through Instagram, Facebook or Twitter I see post after post of the decade challenge, descriptions and memories of the past ten years. Achievements, celebrations, life changing moments, you name it, it’s been posted. Few posts celebrate the lows, the struggles, the set backs.

Over the past week, all I could think about was writing again. All I could think about was how I started this blog, all that had transpired in my life, professionally and personally that steered me away from writing. No matter how hard I tried to place blame on any and all events, I came to one irrefutable truth. I was the reason I wasn’t following my gut, my passion, my calling…name it what you will, it was me and me alone that allowed my circumstances to control my life, my actions or lack there of.

I look back on myself and my life 10 years ago. It began selling shoes, missing the beauty industry I adored and the shop I had run for many years. Then the powers that be gave me an opportunity and I grabbed it! Managing the Salon/Shop I adored. Soon after, I began my blog and opportunity after opportunity came my way. Writing for beauty sites and online magazines, consulting Salons on how to improve their retail presence and sales. Being invited to Beauty industry galas. Things kept falling into my lap. Sadly, in 2016, the shop closed. I tried to keep writing, but the fire within was slowly growing dim. A dear friend of mine had a cheese shop and she was looking for some help over the lunch hours. I thought it would be fun, so I said yes. 15 hours a week turned into 40 and I was enjoying it. Learning new things, helping increase the retail presence and forging relationships with the regulars. Yet I was still longing for something. I felt like the world was spinning around me and I was standing still. Sadly, the shop closed. I took a few months off from working. My husband has supported my writing and my drive from the start. He said “take this time to focus on your blog, your consulting, whatever it is you want.”. I found myself staring at my computer, re posting old blogs. I had no idea which road to take. Do I continue to consult? Do I continue to write about Beauty? Do I continue to review products? Do I write about parenting? Do I write about lifestyle? Do I write about kindness? Do I write about how not to be an asshole? …. exhausting reading this huh? Try thinking it all…the…time.  All the while having real life staring me in the face. Husband having a heart attack in 2012 at 39. Father having a heart attack a week later. ( I told them both to stop competing for my attention). My lovely, beautiful, intelligent daughter struggling with mental health issues and trying to get her the help she needed. Be a good wife. Be a good daughter. Be a good Mother. Laundry to be done, child to raise, marriage to keep intact, pay the bills, get the groceries. …this is how I know there is a higher power…god, the universe, the smurfs, whatever you call it, it’s real. I know it’s real because I firmly believe that is how I got through this past decade. There was many a morning I did not want to get out of bed, many a day I did not want to leave the house, but something helped me. Something got me moving, and I may think I’m all that, but even I’m not that good.

Even though I had the support of my family to focus on me, there were bills to be paid. My old employer at the shoe store heard I was free and offered me a job. Whatever hours or days I could give. So here I am, 10 years later, back where I started from. Funny thing, most people find that sad. I get many a “Oh…so you’re back there again huh?” comments. To be honest, I felt the same way for the first few months. Once again, a higher power knew what I did not. That this is exactly where I was and am supposed to be right now. My life for the last 18 months was turned upside down and all around. … a tale for another time.  Being back at this job allowed me to change my day off at a moments notice. Being able to tell my boss “I gotta go” in the middle of a shift and him responding “Do what you gotta do, see you tomorrow.”. It also gave me the time for me. I had time to read, to educate myself, to take a hard look at my life and my responsibilities. To take a hard look at myself, to be accountable about my part in how my life was going, professionally and personally, to own my shit if you will. I may physically be back where I started, emotionally and mentally, far from it.

I have no idea where my feet will land next. I do know this. It is up to me and me alone to decide. To do the work. To put forth the intentions AND the effort. No one, I mean no one is going to do it for me, nor is it anyone’s fault I am unfulfilled but my own. It is up to you and you alone to fill your cup, and today, it may just be a small drop, but my cup is beginning to fill.

 

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, writing

Seven Year Itch

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Yesterday as I plopped into my favorite chair with my morning cup of Joe I heard the all too familiar bottle cap notification coming from my phone. It was an email alerting me of my 7 year anniversary as a blogger. 7 years. Within seconds my mind was flooded with images from the past 7 years. Nervously circling the table, staring at the computer, deciding to just go for it and write. Coming home from work to find a laptop waiting for me, given to me by my hubby with a “Happy Birthday” screensaver (which is still my screensaver by the way). Kristen Johnston reading my blog and retweeting it. Wynonna Judd sharing my “Kindness 101” blog that ended up getting over 700 views within hours. https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/07/21/kindness-101/    Major hair companies following my tales. Magazine editor’s and Hollywood stars following my blog. Writing opportunities coming my way. Strangers thanking me for my hair advice. Strangers laughing at my “Tales of Truth” series. My blog being read across the globe. The list of memories is endless.

Fast forward to today. For those of you familiar with my blog, you are well aware of the struggles I have been having trying to decide which direction my blog and I should take. I began this blog while managing a Salon/retail shop and once the shop closed I felt I didn’t have a platform of which to write. Every single fear and anxiety reared it’s ugly head and I am sad to say, more often than not, they won the battle, not me. I was having coffee with a dear friend yesterday and when I told her of my blogging anniversary I received a high five. During our conversation I came to the realization that I started this blog to spread information and to educate and enlighten, not only for hair care, but for all aspects of daily life, from business to self care to parenting, speaking my truth in hopes that it may give others the courage to do the same. As a reminder that a little kindness goes a long way.

When I woke up this morning, I found myself wondering if my blog related trepidation was due to the 7 year mark. We’ve all heard of the 7 year itch where relationships/marriage is concerned. Maybe it’s the same with goals. It’s all nerves and excitement at the beginning. Lots of new and exciting things happen. Milestones are reached. Celebrations seem to be every other month. Then things slow down, hit a plateau. It doesn’t seem to be as exciting, the shine is off the diamond if you will. It begins to feel like a chore. Other avenues are catching your eye. You feel like throwing in the towel. At least that’s how it felt for me. What I have come to realize and accept is that things change. Who I was when I began this blog I will never be again, and that’s okay. 7 years have passed and I have more experience, in work and in life. I have more of an understanding of who I was, who I am and who I intend to be. I feel I am a good writer. I enjoy it. It’s cathartic. I came to realize my lack of posts for the past 12 months was due to one thing – I was trying to be something and someone I am not. Writing blogs with others opinions in mind, not my own. I began this blog without any thought of what people would think, just the hope that someone would enjoy it and get something out of it. It’s time to get back to that.

Thank you to all my readers, my followers, my family, my friends and those who have shared my tales. More are on the way… hope you enjoy them.

 

health and wellness, lifestyle, That girl in the red coat, writing

Step back

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It may have taken 22 years, but yours truly took a vacation. Yes, you read that correctly, 22 years. My beloved and I flew across the country to Vancouver, rocked out to the Def Leppard/Journey concert, ate at Gotham, the best steak house in town, strolled the streets of GasTown, Burnaby, and the glorious waterfronts with mountains on every horizon. We ate breakfast at a “You gotta eat here” restaurant. It was lovely. Except for a few Facebook posts and Instagram stories for our family and friends, yours truly unplugged from social media, my blog, my job, my day to day stresses, my to do lists, everything. I was present in every hour and every minute of my day. My hubby and I were able to complete conversations, to sit in silence together and just be. Time moved slower in Vancouver, maybe I was in vacation mode, maybe it was the scent of Mary Jane in the air around every corner (I shit you not.). All I know is I felt more zen than I had in a while, and the lovely thing is that feeling of zen flew home with me back to Ontario.

Over the past months, as you are well aware, I have been trying to find my place in this blogging arena. I started as a beauty blogger, giving tips and tricks and product knowledge. I wrote of my daily retail experiences and customer dramas…the lady thinking I stole her light bulb, the countless ladies showing me their ingrown hairs along their bikini line, the gents asking me about how to trim their nether regions….check out my Tales of Truth series for the full effect. I also wrote about lifestyle, kindness, the ugly things we don’t talk about at parties – and to tell you the truth, those were the blogs that flowed out of me, that were the best received and that brought me the most fulfillment and in turn ,the most opportunities. One of the things I learned while in Vancouver, other than those folks like their marijuana, is that I wasn’t being true to myself where my writing is concerned. I was trying to hold on to who I used to be and what I used to write about. I am no longer that woman, career wise or in my own mind. She still resides within me, but she has changed. She has matured, She has been through some shit and come out clean on the other side. She has something to offer. I have something to offer. I cannot articulate my reasoning. All I know is that it is time to stop being afraid of what may or may not lie ahead. Change is a good thing. Stepping back makes inspiration move forward.

I will continue to write product reviews and how to’s, for I love to help women and men feel good about their hair and in turn their appearance. I will continue to tell my Tales of Truth because I find it amazing the things people say to complete strangers, it’s funny and quite frankly cathartic. I will continue to write about kindness, for I believe it makes the world go round and in these days, we need it more than ever. From time to time, I may get political, for there are events happening in this world that are morally wrong, plain and simple.

I have no idea where this will lead or what may transpire. My intention, as always is to educate and inspire. To help people think of things differently, not to agree with me, but to open the door a crack to peek at what is on the other side.

Be beautiful to each other.

Beauty, Business, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women

…don’t ask…don’t get

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As of late, many of those that I hold dear are feeling inadequate, feeling like they are missing out on something, wondering “is this all there is?”. Between loss of their job, their business closing, their marriage ripping at the seams, their kids struggling to find answers to questions they don’t even know how to ask, you name it, the struggle is real.

For those of you who follow my tales, you are all familiar with my past and present struggles. For those of you checking yours truly out for the first time, let me shine some light for y’all. I have been the girl who felt like she didn’t fit in. I have been the new wife wondering what my role was to be. I have been (and still am) the Mom wondering if I am screwing up my kid. I have been the woman who couldn’t look at her own reflection. I have been the woman who hated her hair and her body. I have been the woman who lost her job because of a store closure. I have been the wife of a husband with health issues. I have been the daughter of parents with health issues. I have been the sister of a wonderful gal who’s life was turned upside down. I have been the woman who found herself thinking on more than one occasion “now what the hell am I gonna do?”. I am here to tell you that no matter how dark the day may seem or how overwhelming life can get, sooner or later, the light begins to shine and you will once again feel in control. You will. Seriously, you will. You want to know how? Ask. Plain and simple. Ask for help. Ask for advice. Ask your business contacts if they know of any opportunities. Ask for a glass of Chardonnay if you need, just ask.

I know. I know. You’ve heard this before. Tony Robbins makes you walk on hot coals. The Secret tells you to put it “out there.”. Vision boards are all the craze. Everywhere you turn someone is telling you or pushing a Pinterest post in your face or sending a kitten meme telling you “when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!”. I for one believe that the mind and your perspective have a HUGE impact on your life’s outcome – here’s the little nugget that seems to get lost in translation – you gotta ask and you gotta do the work. You gotta. Walking on hot coals may remove something from your bucket list, if you don’t follow through with the tools bestowed on you, you will just have sore feet. Putting your desires “out there” is a fantastic idea, if you don’t put your plan into action, the universe will deliver to the wrong address. Creating a vision board is fantastic, I have one of my own. If you just look at it all day without speaking to anyone or leaving the couch, it’s just going to be something you made and look at.

We cannot control everything. We may not be able to reverse a health issue for a loved one or stop a toddler from throwing a fit in the parking lot. One thing I know for certain is, although we cannot control our job status/career, we can damn well have a say in it. The point of today’s tale is to give you the proof you need that if you don’t ask, you don’t get. In the big scheme of things, my accomplishments may seem tiny, to me, they are huge. I have been blogging over 6 year now. The last year I did not write as much as I wanted to. I thought my blog should change – I was listening to fear…big mistake…huge. (Pretty Woman reference…love the movie). After the shop closed, instead of asking myself what I should do, I let people tell me what I should do. Not their fault, that’s on me. Long story short, shit happened and the universe, the powers that be, the smurfs…whatever you want to call it gave me a wake up call. Gave me the opportunity to realize that my blog is fine just how it is. That it grew and opportunities flooded in when I was doing what was true to me. It gave me the back up to ask. To take take chances. I asked and took a chance and ended up on http://www.salonmagazine.ca 7 times. I had my tales followed and retweeted by Hollywood and Grammy Award winning stars. I had companies agree to have me write for them, review their products. I made new business contacts that have now become friends. I have been referred by said contacts to give Salons retail consultations to help them build their business.

Over the past few weeks, yours truly has been an asking fool. I didn’t get all I asked for, but I did get a few things. I have an opportunity coming my way – not telling yet! You are going to have to stay tuned, all because I asked a question. I didn’t just put it out there, I put myself out there. I did the work, I followed up, and low and behold, it worked out in my favor.

Here’s the deal. Ask. The answers are there. The answer may not be the one you wanted, in my experience, it’s the one you needed. Don’t ask…Don’t get. Plain and Simple.

 

health and wellness, lifestyle, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear

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You can get back up off the floor now. Yes, yours truly is posting again. I have taken some time away, to figure out my focus and where to go from here. Five years ago, as a manager of a retail shop/Salon, I sat down and began my blogging adventures. Starting with humour and hair “how to’s” in hopes of helping the Ladies and Gents gain control of their hair. Within months, as I regained my self confidence, my blog began to take on a life of it’s own. Job opportunities arose, questions were posed, I became a Retail Consultant and the light began to shine a little brighter. Fast forward to present day. I am no longer in the Salon. Although strong ties to my beloved industry are still intact, I am no longer on the front lines so to speak. At first I didn’t know what to do or where my blog was going. So, I took a step back. I turned my focus onto my life, my family, and quite honestly, how and where I was going to earn a living. I thought my blogging days were done, the powers that be had other plans.

Whenever I spoke to friends, I would find myself thinking “I bet a lot of people feel this way…I should write about it.”. Be it marriage woes, attempting to walk the tight rope of parenting millennials, watching a loved one in pain, emotional or otherwise and having no control or say in the matter or simply feeling overwhelmed by life in general. When discussing my idea’s for my “new and improved” blog with those I trust, many who have never met each other, they all told me the same thing. “I like your blogs about hair and products, but I LOVE your blogs about life.”.

Some of the favorites have been;

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/07/21/kindness-101/

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/09/06/beware-of-yoga-pants-ponytails/

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/11/02/receding-hairlines-and-muffin-tops/

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/08/06/the-emily-post-of-retail/

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/04/22/my-morning-coffey/

 

So Beauties, here it is, a blog to help add some humor and light into your day, about finding the beauty in everything, life, love, lifestyle and parenting a millennial …God help us.  Yes, I will still allow you to be a fly on the wall in my life and hear about the funny things I see and hear on a daily basis (well, I think they’re hilarious.). That Girl in the Red Coat Consulting services will still be available (call me.).

Beauty, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

…time flies when you are having fun

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Today, March 8th 2016 is International Women’s Day. Today also marks my 4th year as That Girl in the Red Coat…coincidence? I think not. Today has become a significant day for my history books, for today, yours truly registered her business. Yep! It’s official. That Girl in the Red Coat, Retail Consultant is now a registered business.

 – a peek at my Business License…that’s all you get to see Beauties – privacy and all.

 

This morning around 6 a.m. as I was sipping my coffee while my loved ones were snuggled under their covers, I found myself smiling. Looking back at myself 4 years ago to where and who I am today made me smile. When I began my blogging journey I had no idea what would come of it. I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that it was something I had to do and that somehow, someway, something would come of it. …and did it ever. Over the past 4 years I have been published on http://www.salonmagazine.ca . I have been approached and wrote for http://www.hairstyle-blog.com and http://www.visualmakeover.com .  I was a featured blogger for http://www.justpencilmein.ca . My Salon Tales have been shared by Hollywood stars. My blog has been read in over 150 countries. Many of the products I have written about, the companies now follow me and share my Salon Tales. I have been invited to share a table with the beauties from Piidea Direct at many award shows and events. I have been asked to participate in a focus group closed to stylists and last but never least, I am officially a Retail Consultant.

12795559_1330081430350621_6914671737394889572_n Mirror Awards 2016 with my Joico/Piidea Beauties

My first official evening with That Girl in the Red Coat.

After I came home from my consultations, my hubby told me he was proud of me and that I had done this all on my own. At first I thought he meant that I found the locations without a nav. system (…blonde moment). The next day I realized he meant that I had started my blog four years ago and blogged, tweeted, Instagrammed, facebooked (may not be words but I think they fit) my ass off, and things started to happen. If I sound like I am tooting my own horn, I kind of am. All those familiar with me know that I don’t have a problem with that. Those familiar with me also know that I haven’t always been this comfortable with myself, my looks or my accomplishments. …and that is the purpose for today’s tale.

For anyone feeling overwhelmed with their life and their choices, for anyone who doesn’t like their reflection, for anyone who hates their hair, I am here to tell you, once you decide to live your life your way, good things start to happen. To be clear – living your life your way does not mean that you become a narcissist and believe the world owes you everything ‘cuz honey – the world doesn’t owe you one thing.  You gotta be kind and conscience of others. You gotta. What I mean by living the life you want is this – you know that little voice that tells you “go try that”, or that feeling of fluttering you get in your gut when you think of that certain something? It’s time to give it a try, and remember to be patient. Trust me, I know how difficult patience can be. I came across a great quote a few years ago that fit my perspective on patience “Why is patience a virtue? Why can’t hurry the F*!K UP be a virtue?”. Trust me, be patient and accepting. Embrace and cherish the little moments and soon the bigger moments will present themselves to you. I don’t know why or how, they just do. *Oh, when what you want doesn’t arrive when you want it to, DO NOT see this as a shortcoming and do not let it define you. EVER.

Thank you to all my followers, my friends and my loved ones for your support and honesty over these past four years. I wonder what year 5 is going to look like? From the look of the past four years, I got a feelin’ it’s gonna be FAB!

 

lifestyle, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

Long days in short years

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Today marks my 3rd anniversary as That Girl in the Red Coat. I had to keep checking the date of my first blog. March 16 2012. Wow. 3 years. I remember the weeks leading up to my first post. I had no idea what I was doing. I was filled with fear and trepidation about what may or may not lay ahead. I was diving into the unknown. I began my blog in hopes of educating the masses about professional hair products, helping stylists and salon managers & owners increase their retail sales and client retention. I wanted to educate and enlighten. What I didn’t know then was how much I would be educated and enlightened, about myself.

Those familiar with my blog know that yours truly is no stranger to insecurities, on every level. I have a library of self help books. I know the “secret” and that I should harness “the power”. I know Jesus loves me. Oprah’s AHA! moments lasted for a moment or two. I tried to Martha and make everything “a good thing”. I was searching for answers and happiness everywhere but where it was, and always had been. In me. I have been the woman locked in the bathroom hating her hair. I have been the woman who had the hairstyle everyone told her she should have…and hating it. I have been the mother who worried too much about other’s opinions on my parenting. I have been the woman who after childbirth was unsure of her body and let it affect her life in the boudoir. I have been the young woman who did not like her reflection. I have been the young girl who listened to the wrong people and continued to listen to them into adulthood. I have been the young girl who thought having hips was awesome until some girl told me they made me look fat. I have also been the 5 year old girl who thought she could be anyone she wanted and do anything she wanted…and I am happy to say, at 42, I again believe this to be true. Letting go of my fear of the unknown and letting go of the fear of what people will think, I found happiness. I feel content. I am proud of my daughter and feel I am doing a good job being her mother. I look into the mirror and like what I see. I have the hairstyle that I like and that I want. I love and am in love with my husband of 20 years. I embrace my curves and from time to time can be caught shakin’ what my momma gave me.

I realized that over the past 3 years the days have been long and the years have been short. I learned some hard lessons, personally and professionally. I have suffered losses and gains. I have had to stand by and witness health issues and mental health issues of my loved ones – and all I could do was offer a soft place to fall. I have learned that it is not all about me – let me tell ya…that was a biggie. I am continuing to learn patience. I have accepted that I can’t control anything or anyone but myself…another biggie for yours truly…huge. I have learned that this too shall pass…in it’s own time.

The most important lesson I have learned is to go for it. Plain and simple. Go for it. The worse thing that can happen is nothing happens and you begin again.  I have come to embrace a line from one of my favorite tunes from the Rolling Stones “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just  might find, you get what you need” and it is serving me well. By staying true to myself, letting the chips fall where they may and taking a chance on myself and putting myself and my Salon Tales out there, in 3 years some amazing things have happened and are continuing to happen;

– a 6 time contributor for http://www.salonmagazine.ca

– a contributing author for http://www.hairstlye-blog.com and http://www.visualmakeover.com

– a featured blogger for http://www.justpencilmein.ca

– featured on http://www.girlbodypride.com

– featured in Piidea’s Sept/Oct 2014 Buyers Guide

– featured in ViBrant Magazine

– featured on many professional hair care websites

I am proud of the above accomplishments. What I am most proud of are the personal lessons I have learned and the accomplishments in my relationships that followed – from my marriage, to my friendships, to my family, to my relationship with my lovely daughter. I have also learned to like myself. Ladies and Gents – if you can like and love yourself – everything else slowly falls into place. My anniversary gift for myself and for you is this;

Remember, in this life,

– the days are long and the years are short.

– You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find, you get what you need. – The Rolling Stones

– have the hair style/color YOU want

– You are enough. Plain and simple.

– Always shake what your momma gave you

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Telling Tales

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It was two years ago today, after circling my dining room table a few dozen times while looking at my home computer out of the corner of my eye, that yours truly sat down at our home computer, typed “wordpress” into my Google search engine and hit enter. I selected the link to the wordpress site. My mouse hovered over the “sign up and start publishing now” icon. I had to keep taking my shaking  hand off the mouse, I was terrified I would click and start publishing before I was ready. I was terrified to begin, what if no one reads it? What if they all think this is stupid? What if I am not a writer? What if this is all a waste of time? After what seemed like an eternity, I decided to stop listening to the shouting voice of fear in my mind and to listen to the ever present whisper of hope. I took a deep breath and began. I am so happy that I did.

As I was finishing my ‘do for the day with Joico’s Power Spray (my new FAV!), I found myself thinking of that morning two years ago, and began to say thank you to my reflection. I actually welled up a bit. Yep, there I was talking to my reflection, can of hairspray in one hand, tissue in the other. No need to call the white coats, I was having a moment. A realization of how far I have come since that morning. I like my reflection. I think I am pretty. I feel beautiful both inside and out. I am proud of myself and am confident in my abilities. Now when I have an idea or want to try something new, hope shouts and fear whispers.

If I had listened to fear that morning, I would not be a guest blogger for http://www.salonmagazine.ca , I wouldn’t be a contributing author for http://www.hairstyle-blog.com , I never would have been invited to the Contessa’s. If I had let my fear make my decision I wouldn’t have all the fabulous connections on Twitter, many who inspire me or make me laugh on a daily basis. I wouldn’t have my lovely laptop on which I tell my tales – a beautiful birthday gift from my husband and daughter, because they believed in what I was doing. I wouldn’t have had all those evenings of bursting through the back door exclaiming to my husband and daughter about the retweet or follow I received from some pretty snazzy people, or the utter excitement to share a published article with them. If I had listened to fear, I wouldn’t have been able to show my daughter that her mom was published on not one, but four websites. I wouldn’t have been able to prove to her…and myself, that hard work, taking a chance or two and faith in yourself pays off. If I had let fear control my decision I never would have found people like myself – people that celebrate each other, people that want to raise each other up and help each other out.

In celebration of my 2nd Anniversary, I have a wish. A wish that you will find your passion, that you will chase your dream, that what was once lost will be found, that your shouts of fear will be silenced and your whispers of hope become the song you sing in your mind and in your heart. More tales are on their way Beauties. Thank you for your support. Thank you for sticking around when tales were few and far between. Thank you for the love.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Be the star you wish upon

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Over the past weeks I have met many women who have all said the same thing “Oh, I could never do that!” – from leaving their resented career to follow their dream to coloring their hair red, like they always dreamed. One woman stands out the most. She came in the shop looking at the demo display of flat irons. I went over to her and asked if she wanted to try one, to which she answered “Oh no! I am just looking. I am too stupid to work one of these things. I am looking for my daughter. I’m too old to care about such things.”. I just stood there for a moment, feeling so sad for her. I think I actually frowned. Being me, I had to say something. So I took a breath (said a silent prayer to the powers that be the flat iron would stay on the table) and asked her why she thought she was too old to care about her hair. I told her I thought she had lovely hair and if she straightened it, it would look even better. She just stared at me. I asked her if she ironed shirts at home. She did. So I told her “Honey, if you can iron a shirt, you can flat iron your hair”, to which she laughed. I asked her if I could show her how, she nodded and smiled. After I finished one side of her head, I gave her the iron to do the other side. When she was done, she stared at her reflection and said “I haven’t looked like this in a long time.”. We got to chatting and I came to find out she left University to get married and have a family. She had always wanted to have a shop of her own, but thought she had missed her time, that all she knew was how to be a mom, that it was too late.

As women, we’ve all been there. So have the Gents. We have all had the moment when we realize that 15 years have passed and not much has changed and for some reason, at that exact same moment, we think that  it is too late to do what we always wanted to do. We have been going through the motions, changing diapers, balancing cheque books, cleaning the gutters, keeping our son’s out of jail and our daughter’s off the pole (yeah, I said it) and forgotten about ourselves, from our dreams to our roots. – back to the tale at hand. I smiled at my customer and told her it was never too late to which she responded “easy for you to say, you are young”. I told her I was 41 to which she responded “So am I.”. I smiled again and handed her my card. (it’s a lovely card…my That girl in the Red Coat card. Check out my Facebook page to see it). I let her know That girl in the red coat is my blog. I let her know that I had wanted to write a blog for years but was too afraid of what people would think, too afraid it was too late. I let her know that once I let go of the fear and allowed myself to focus on myself that a whole new world opened up to me. (….now you have the  Aladdin theme in your head…sorry).  I let her know that all those slogans plastered all over Facebook and Pinterest are true – follow your passion, thoughts become things, that good things happen when you work your ass off and never give up. I let her know that I may be a girl standing in a shop, but I am also a woman who has been published on http://www.salonmagazine.com (A HUGE deal for yours truly), that I am a woman who is a contributing author to http://www.hairstyle-blog.com and http://www.visual-makeover.com and that it all happened within 18 months of deciding I was worth the risk.  I told her that she was worth the risk too.

Here’s the deal. Life is short. It is never too late. Those who say it is…well it is too late, for them. Do what you want. If you want to be a blonde, go for it! (SOMA Blonde/Silver Shampoo…’nuf said).  Always wanted that cute pixie cut? Go for it! (…KMS Molding Paste will be your new best friend). Always loved hair and wanted to be a stylist? Go back to school – there are awesome programs that accommodate all schedules and lifestyles. Wishes do come true…with hard work, they do come true. When you are wishing upon a star, make sure that star is you.