The full moon has come and gone this month, and as September draws to a close, I thought, why not end it on a high note with  a few smirks and giggles. Again, these events are based on real events, with real people that come into my shop…again, I wish I was making this up.

– The shop opens at 9:30 a.m.. It isn’t even 9:31 a.m. “Hey…do you ever worry someone is gonna drive through your front window?” – I guess I missed the memo that this is the new morning greeting.

– The phone rings. I answer with my go to greeting only to hear “Yeah, whatever. I am trying to find the number of the auto body place down the street. Can you look it up for me…I am kind of in a hurry”. Now, I know the shop’s number has the #4 in it, unfortunately it is not followed with 1-1 …wait for it…there you go.

– “My daughter has colored her hair and now it looks horrible. What hair color will fix it?”. I kindly let the mother know that without seeing her daughter’s hair I wouldn’t even know where to begin to help her. “Well her hair looks like pumpkin pie with a mix of orange and a little bit of caramel with chocolate pieces in it.”….oh yes…now I know what color her hair is.

– FYI – “out the door” top coat is the name of the quick dry top coat. It doesn’t mean you have to apply it while going out the door.

– A customer came in to tell me she was not pleased with the product she had purchased. I looked up her file in the computer and saw her last purchase was OPI Avolplex Cuticle Oil. “What was it about the oil that you weren’t happy with?” I asked, to which she answered “Well…look at my hair! It is so greasy! My stylist told me that my hair’s cuticles were fried and that I need some oil for the cuticles, so I bought the OPI oil and now LOOK!!!!”. I silently remind myself “Do not smirk. Do not show it on your face.” and proceed to let her know that the oil she purchased was for the cuticles on her hands, not her hair. After further discussion and explanation and a giggle or two, she ended up buying Kpak Revitaluxe and SOMA Solace – a cuticle sealer – for her hair.

– I have a dish of candies at the front counter. Everyday I am asked how much for a candy. When I tell people they are free, some stare at me and say “Come on! Really?”. Some say thank you. Some take 10 pieces of candy and some dig through the dish and then sigh “Why don’t you have any lemon candies? They are my favorite. These others are gross. What a waste.”. – about the latter – my thoughts exactly.

– I hear the chirp of the Salon door chime and as I look up from my purchase order, there she is. A complete stranger standing at the front desk with her shirt lifted up asking me “do have anything for these stretch marks?”. …enough said.

– A woman came into the shop and asked if her son could come behind the counter and see our computer because “he loves computer’s”. The child was no more than 3 years of age and had something that I could only hope was peanut butter all over his shirt. I let her know that children weren’t allowed behind the counter. She didn’t seem too impressed that she had to mind her own child while in a store. …imagine.

– A woman came in the shop and as I came around the counter to greet her I was told “Leave me alone. I am not a thief. I do not like people talking to me.”, then she walked over to the brushes, reached up, took one of the shelf and began to brush her hair. I went over to her and shook my head side to side. She looked at me and asked me what I was doing. I told her “I am telling you no to using the brushes. Now you have to purchase it because you used it. As the sign says – Please do not use the brushes. You Brush. You Buy.”. When she asked me why I didn’t tell her, I said “Well, you told me you don’t like people talking to you.”.  …not my finest moment, I know, but come on…she left that one wide open.