Beauty, health and wellness, lifestyle, Sunday Confessions, That girl in the red coat

Sunday Confessions

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Here we are. Day whatever of social distancing. This past Friday I ventured out to the grocery store. For the first time in I don’t know how long I didn’t put any makeup on. Didn’t even fill in my eyebrows… the nineties thin brow was not my friend. Who knew it would take a virus to finally be comfortable with my looks, to let go off whatever ideals I had created in my head. Yep. Sorry to say, I have been known to think of myself as ugly, fat, take your pick of self deprecating thoughts or phrases, I have used them. Hell, when we were first engaged, my husband took me to see Phantom of the Opera and I had a freak out, total meltdown thinking I was too ugly to go. … yes, I see the irony in this… I was about to see a show about a dude with  a burned face wearing a mask. So, going out without make up on is a big deal for me. Since the breakout of COVID-19, I have felt a shift. Sometimes anxiety, sometimes sadness, but mostly a true sense of what matters and what does not.

I used to wake up every morning thinking of my “to do’s”, my “gotta haves”. I would practice meditation and proper breathing, or so I thought. It wasn’t until this outbreak that I realized I never took a moment to actually check myself. I find myself checking my breathing everyday, throughout the day. I stopped focusing on my weight and am now focused on my health, mental, emotional and physical. *Confession – I am still smoking, keeping it real. I find myself waking up to thoughts of loved ones and friends and wondering what I can do for them, if they need anything, not the usual “I look puffy today”, “did I drink enough water yesterday”, “I really gotta exercise more” thoughts. I find myself finding reasons to laugh and spread some happiness instead of just going along with the status quo. I have always been someone to find the good… drives my friends and family nuts most of the time. This past week, I have made it my mission to find the good, all the time, and when found, share the shit out of that sucker. You tube video’s, my favorite songs, jokes, Sir Patrick Stewart reading sonnets on Twitter, Yo-Yo Ma playing the cello on Facebook, TankGoodNews fabulous posts on Instagram, you name it, if it’s joyful or positive, I’m sharing it.

I know things are scary right now. The unknown always is. The lack of control can be overwhelming. We may not be able to control what’s happening but we can control ourselves. Check on friends, loved ones and neighbours. If allowed, take a surprise care package, leave it at their door and call them to let them know there is a surprise for them at their door. Write a letter. Call them, many people are alone in this and would love to hear another voice other than their own. Send thank you’s to health care providers. When you are out getting ONLY the necessities, be sure to thank all the employees you see, ask the cashier how they are doing, smile and say hello at everyone you see. Social distancing does not mean ignoring people. Stay home if and when you can. It’s not about you as it’s about everyone else. Having trouble staying put? Think of it this way… when someone gets sick and has to be hospitalized, they are alone. No visitors or loved ones allowed. Stay home.

 

Social distancing is the new norm. Many are in self isolation. Many are in quarantine. No matter which country you live in, whatever your political view or your spiritual practice, all of that really doesn’t matter anymore. We are one. We are all in this together. We are all in the same boat and it’s time to throw some life preservers.

Beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

Tales of Truth – the 22nd Edition

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So here we are. It’s Monday and those familiar with my blog know that Monday’s are my usually meant for my Monday Motivator – a review of a FAB! product to help you have a good hair day every Monday and everyday. Well Beauties, this Monday is going to be different. I usually come in contact with the “Full Mooners” the week leading up to the full moon. This past month, the days leading up to the full moon were calm and collected and I thought that I had been given a reprieve…well doesn’t the universe have a sense of humor. It wasn’t until after the peak our lunar pal that all hell broke loose. So gather ’round Ladies and Gents, boys and girls, for it is time for That Girl in the Red Coat’s Tales of Truth…the 22nd Edition…sigh.

A woman comes in to the shop with a list looking for “that gel” she likes. I ask her if she remembers the name brand of the gel she likes, to which she says “No. I don’t remember. That’s your job.”. I take the high road and apologize that I don’t remember all of my customers (over 2000, by the way) favorites. She sighs so I ask her if she had it written down on the list she brought with her. She looked at me and told me “I was nosey and shouldn’t be looking at other peoples things”.

A woman came into the shop, put her list on the counter, shoved it in my direction and said “I need all these products. Get them for me and I am in kind of a hurry.”. Last time I checked the Golden Arches weren’t above my head.

A woman came in with a list, I guess April was list month, asking if I sold Joico Firm Gel. I showed her our display and got one of the shelf for her. She held it in her hand and looked at me and asked “Why did you get me this?”. “I thought that’s what you asked for when you came in” I answered. She scowled at me and said “Why would I ask for a gel that I don’t want? I only asked if you sold it so I would be sure not to buy it!”. ….I dared not ask if she had the gel she wanted written on her list…don’t want to be “nosey”.

As I was giving back a woman her change from her purchase, she looked back at our Salon, watching the girls applying color to their clients and said “hmmm, so you guys do color huh?”. “The girls in the Salon do, yes. Would you like to make an appointment?” to which she said “So, you don’t do color?”. I let her know I manage the shop and take care of the retail/customer service aspect of the Salon to which she said “So, how do you explain that your hair is colored?”. …there are no words people, no words.

A woman came in looking to color her hair at home. She had dark roots and wanted to match up her blonde and didn’t want to spend money at the Salon. I let her know that color is a science, especially blonde and it would be best to go to her Salon. “Listen, I took science in high school and made my husband watch you tube video’s on how to make your hair blonde so how hard could it be?”. …I wonder if there was a prenup.

“I need a hairspray that has a smell my husband would like.” The woman couldn’t understand how I couldn’t know what that was.

A woman came in looking for emery boards and as I was walking her over to our selection, she asked if there were any testers she could use, because she really didn’t need one, she just wanted to get rid of the snag in her nail.

A woman came into the shop and as I was saying “Good Morning!”, I was told “I’m just looking”. After a few minutes I made eye contact with her and smiled at her. “I told you I was just looking!” then she stormed out.

A woman came in looking for wax for at home hair removal. I asked her what she would be needing the wax for. “Ummm, to get rid of my hair”, to which I answered “Yes. I need to know what hair on which part of your body, because some waxes are better than others for lets say, Brazilians, if that is what you are going to do”. It was at this point she actually lifted her leg up and pointed to her vagina and said “you mean rip out the hair down there?”. Yes, rip out the hair down there, exactly…thank god she was wearing pants. I know way too much about other women’s vagina’s in my town.

 

That Girl in the Red Coat

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Deal with it.

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The last month has been a real eye opener, not only at the Salon, but everywhere I look, and with every conversation I have. Maybe the planets are aligned..or misaligned for that matter. Maybe it is due to getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy). Maybe it is that I am on the cusp of my 42nd birthday…who knows. All I know is this, “If you don’t deal with your shit…your shit is gonna deal with you” (came across this a few months ago…and ain’t it the truth). From a woman who thought that becoming a blonde at home would be nice & easy and make her partner take notice, a woman thinking that a pixie cut was all she needed to make her boss see her worth for that promotion to V.P. of marketing and a woman thinking she had everything under control because she made a list everyday…I have seen it all. What did they all have in common? Masking the real issues…not dealing with their shit. No amount of box dye will fix the problems in the bedroom, or will take chocolate brown tresses to platinum blonde. A great hair cut may get you some attention, but a great head shot does not a great V.P. make. As for the list maker, sure, you may be organized, but as you check off “sew button on shirt”, your child may have hurt feelings that need mending. You checked off “pick up cupcakes” for the family celebration…but you weren’t present. “Pick up prescriptions” -checked off, listened to hubby’s response to how he was feeling – but didn’t really hear him. Ladies & Gents, I know of what I speak, for yours truly is the list maker. It took me almost 42 years, I finally realized, lists are great, for the grocery store, for daily chores. They are meant to keep your tasks organized – not your life. Big difference. HUGE.

Sorry to disappoint, I will not be sharing the personal tales of my own shit dealing with me – for not all the tales are mine to share and I respect the privacy of my beautiful girl and my lovely hubby. The purpose for today’s tale is to remind you, and myself to ease up, slow down, pay attention and be present. It is true Beauties – if you don’t deal with your shit…your shit is gonna deal with you – and your shit doesn’t care what time of day, where you are or who you are with…it’s gonna pop up and deal with you. So take it from me, it’s best to deal with it, what ever it may be. Shit ain’t always pretty – hence the fitting name – shit. It’s gotta be dealt with. It’s gotta be said. It’s gotta be hashed out, then it’s gotta be put down and left there. Not just for those you love, but for yourself.

– want to spice it up in the boudoir? Talk to your partner…sometimes renting a movie (nudge nudge, wink wink) is all you need to get new idea’s brought up…pun intended.

– if your partner thinks blondes are more fun, save yourself the cost of a color correction and buy a wig – trust me…they aren’t looking at your hair color… they’re not.

– want that new promotion? Get your credentials together. Put together a presentation about you and why they need you – not why you need them.

– when someone is speaking to you, listen to them. Really hear them. Put down your phone, look up from your laptop, mute the television and pay attention. If you aren’t listening, you can miss what is being said, and damage can be done, feelings can be hurt.

– when someone is ill or has a health issue – let them bring it up. They know what they are going through, they know how they are feeling. They do not need to be reminded of it, with every conversation.

– when your child wants to speak to you, stop and listen. It may be about the cute puppy they saw on YouTube or it may be about the funny thing their bff said. It may also be about how they are feeling about their reflection…pay attention.

 

As for lists, if you have to make a list, remember it is only a piece of paper with some things written on it. It will not explode in 10 minutes if all tasks are not crossed off by 2 p.m. …something I gotta remember.

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty, Business, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Let me introduce you to OPI

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Over the past few months many women and young ladies have come into the shop with the same question “Do you sell OPI?” and my answer is always “Yes!”. I ask them what they are looking for from the OPI line and many answer with the same answer, they are not sure. I am told how they saw some great nail art designs on Pinterest, or You Tube or that the girl at the office swears by it. This is when I walk them over to my OPI shelves and introduce them to OPI.

OPI is a great nail care line. It has something for everyone, from nail strengthener to hand lotions to FAB! colors with FAB! names like “I’m not really a waitress” (H08- stock # if you are looking for it). OPI truly thinks of their clients and customers. Their website http://www.OPI.com is fun, interactive and user friendly. The best feature of their website…the Try it on Color Studio – just choose any color of polish to see if you would like it for you. You are able to change the color of the pigment of the skin and the nail length of the hand demo offered.

As you know, my aim is always to educate and enlighten, so, me being me, I have compiled a little list of the big OPI sellers at our shop;

OPI NAIL ENVY – OPI’s answer to a nail strengthener. OPI has something for every nail type or ailment;

Original Formula – Maximum strength formula that strengthens with Hydrolyzed Wheat Protein & Calcium for harder, longer, stronger natural nails. *Ideal for weak/damaged nails

Matte Formula – offers the same features as the Original Formula with a natural look (clear) *AWESOME for men

Soft & Thin Formula – designed to strengthen soft & thin nails. Fortifies with extra calcium.

Dry & Brittle – moisturizing formula that also protects with anti-oxidant vitamins E & C. *No more snaps, splits or breaks.

Sensitive & Peeling Formula – a formaldehyde free formula for sensitive & peeling nails. Protects with anti-oxidant vitamin E & emoillient rich Kukui nut oil & soothing Aloe Vera. *terrific for nails recovering from poor acrylic applications.

OPI Start to Finish – a 3 in 1 combo of base coat, nail strengthener and top coat in one! *available in a formaldehyde free formula

OPI Rapid Dry Top Coat – this gem is FABULOUS! A fast drying top coat that dries tough, dries fast and is long lasting with a non yellowing high gloss shine. *Also available in a spray. ** One of my all time favorites.

OPI Drip Dry – a quick dry topcoat that you drip onto the nail. Dry to the touch after 1 minute, completely dry in 5 minutes. *Also treats the cuticles with soothing Jojoba and vitamin E.

OPI Chip Skip – A great nail primer which increases the adhesion of your nail lacquer. *put on your nails before base coat or color.

OPI Avoplex Nail & Cuticle Replenishing oil – Rich in avocado oil & Tocotrienol *super anti-oxidant – 1000 times more powerful than regular vitamin E. Contains featherlight grape seed oil, sunflower, sesame, kukui nut oils & lecithin to restore essential moisture & lipids to nourish dry cuticles. *IDEAL for rough heels & elbows!

OPI AVOJUICE – a beautiful line of hand and body lotions in an array of flavors from CocoMelon to Cranberry to Jasmine. These lotions are nourishing with fruit extracts, avocado extracts and healing aloe extracts.

OPI. A gem of a line that keeps up with the times, has a fun time with their products and is always thinking of their clients and customers. What more could you ask for?

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

What is looking for you?

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As per usual, I sat down to to tell you all a tale of the newest addition to the Joico family of products, alas, it will have to be a tale for another time. It is Sunday morning in my corner of the world, the sun is shining, tulips from my garden are blooming on my kitchen table, a cool morning breeze is making the steam from my coffee glisten in the morning light and I am happy. I am…two words that I had, in all honesty, never appreciated their importance, until about a month ago.

I was surfing You Tube, after watching all the episodes (for the tenth time) of Comedians in cars getting coffee with Jerry Seinfeld, I started searching all the Oprah’s Master Class episodes and came across her Life Class with Joel Osteen. (Yes, I know it is Sunday, and no I am not gonna ask you if you have found Jesus…first – that is none of my business, and second…I didn’t know he was lost.). Back to the tale at hand. “Whatever follows “I am” will come looking for you”. Can you say “LIGHT BULB!”. (I would say AHA! …but Oprah kinda owns that one.). Something else Joel said was “If you want to know what your life will look like in 5 years…listen to how you are speaking today.”. Yikes…in a good way. In my minds eye I flashed back to 2008, to myself, sitting on my bathroom floor, giving over to whatever forces may be…god, the universe, the smurfs…to help me let go of my fears and my insecurities and get me back to me. Back to present day, I am back in the business I love, I actually believe I am pretty, I no longer feel fat nor base my identity on my looks, I am stronger in all senses of the word, I am a writer, I took the leap and started my blog, I met Tabatha Coffey. I am pretty awesome, if I do say so myself…and I often do.

At the shop and in the Salon, I hear so many women, and men say “I am old”, “I am ugly”, “I am useless” and many other sad, lonely phrases. I never quite paid attention until I heard Joel’s take on the matter. As you know, my tales are about educating and enlightening us all about the world of beauty. My tales may not always be about how to apply Root Boost (before blow drying, separate your hair at the roots, spray the root boost directly at scalp, rub into roots, then blow dry…couldn’t help myself). Some of my tales will be to help you find the beauty within yourself, your family, the world. Beauty is out there, it is right beside you, it is in you, if you choose to see it, hear it, speak it.

Remember …whatever follows “I am” is gonna come looking for you…so the question is this…what is looking for you?

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Painting a masterpiece

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I have to do something I do not like to do. I have to sound like a mother. Yes, I know I am a mother, that doesn’t mean I like to sound like one. Today’s tale is more of a lesson, maybe a lesson you learned but have forgotten…I can only hope. Today’s lesson is this…when someone is speaking to you, listen to them. Shut your mouth and open your ears. You will get your turn to talk and believe it or not, what the other person is saying is just as important as all the little words aching to escape from your mouth.

Every day, and yes, I mean EVERYDAY, someone asks me a question about hair products and before I can finish a response, I am spoken over or get the all time no eye contact crossed arm toe tappin’ favorite “mm hmm” or “uh huh”. First of all, don’t do that, you look like an ass – may I remind you – you asked me a question. If you didn’t want me to speak to you maybe you shouldn’t have asked me a question. Second, just because some chick on YouTube said it was the “best product EVER!” doesn’t mean it is the best product EVER! for your hair. Third, do not select the words you like best that I have said and make up a whole new sentence – the telephone game has had it’s day and that day was in the third grade…last week if you are one of the ponytail yoga pant wearing women who’s turf is the school parking lot/drop off zone.

I understand that there is a lack of customer service out there and that we have all been led down the garden path a time or two, myself included…making your own candy molds kit – enough said. You need to remember something. There are those of us in the beauty biz that are professionals, that educate themselves on a daily basis, that have a passion for what we do, that will tell you the truth about products – not our truth – the truth – the facts that we have learned from our product knowledge classes and the answers we have been given. I can only speak for myself – by the end of every product knowledge class I have attended, the educator is exhausted by my questions. I ask what I know my customers/clients will want to know. If I am asking you to spend $15.00 on hairspray, I know that I better damn well know why. Trust me, I am far from perfect and make mistakes all the time. I also own up to my mistakes, say “I don’t know” when I don’t know and then find out as soon as I can. So, me being me, here is a little list for you. It can be used at your next Salon visit, dentist visit, even with your next coffee date with your bff.

– If you don’t want someone to speak to you, it is a good idea not to strike up a conversation. This tends to make the other person think you want to have a conversation.

– After you have asked someone a question, let them finish their answer – until their mouth stops moving yours should not.

– A conversation is not a game of beat the clock. If you can get your next question out before the other person has finished their answer, there isn’t a prize waiting for you behind door #1.

– If you don’t understand what the other person is talking about, tell them, nicely. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow what you are saying” is always better than “what the hell are you talking about asshole”.

– If you don’t know the answer, say you don’t know. Never pretend you know something you don’t. You will be found out and any respect you may have had will disappear.

– Listen. I don’t mean acknowledge that the other person is speaking. I mean listen to them. Don’t just nod your head silently repeating to yourself the next sentence you are going to say. Hey – you want attention. So do they.

– When someone tells you an answer other than the one you have, don’t assume they are lying. Maybe they have the proper facts and you do not – remember – just because someone is a Doctor doesn’t mean they graduated top of the class.

– As Muhammad Ali said “If you can back it up it ain’t braggin'”. If you can’t back it up – stop braggin’ and check your facts.

So there you have it. Listen. Pay attention. Be patient. Do not assume you know best and everyone else doesn’t know what they are talking about. It is best not to paint everyone with the same brush, if you aren’t careful, you will become a part of your own masterpiece.