“…and if I had to give you more, It’s only been a year, Now I got my foot through the door, And I ain’t goin nowhere, It took a while to get me here, And I’m gonna take my time, Don’t fight that bullshit in your ear, Now let me blow your mind.” – Let me blow ya mind – Eve featuring Gwen Stefani
Today’s tale is a personal one Beauties…more product reviews and tales of full moon adventures are on their way. Today, I feel this tale must be shared.
On November 10th, 2013, I attended the Contessa’s, the Academy Awards of hair if you will. As I described in my tale The Contessa and the castle,
it was a night I will always remember, from the gorgeous hair creations and all the beautiful creativity that surrounded me to feeling like I belonged, that people “got me” and appreciated what I had to offer. It wasn’t until a few days later that I realized something else that magical evening had bestowed on yours truly. It was the first time that I can remember I wasn’t worried about what I looked like or how much I weighed. I was truly present in every experience, in every conversation, in every moment. When I came to this realization, my eyes welled up a bit….thank goodness no one was in the shop. When I got home that night, I went through my photos of that night and I liked every picture of myself. I actually drove down to my parents house and when I was telling them about that evening, my mother told me that I looked like I did when I was a little girl, smiling, eyes shining and having fun without a care in the world. I can hear some of you now “Why is she going on about this?”. Good question. Here’s the answer/reason for the glimpse. There was a time when yours truly wouldn’t go out with her friends because I thought I was too fat. There were party’s I didn’t attend because I didn’t think I was pretty enough to attend. There was a time I thought I was too ugly to go see Phantom of the Opera. My hubby (then my boyfriend…proof it is love) had to drive me to my parents house to calm me down. I got in the car and full on freak out began – my hair was wrong, my dress was wrong, my face was wrong. (yeah, yeah, I know…the phantom was burned and covered with a mask and I thought my face was wrong.). So, not giving my looks and weight a second thought and liking my picture…it’s kind of a big deal.
At first I thought this new found self love was because I am now in my forties. Then I thought it was because I have had a hysterectomy – having the stupid cut out as the women in my clan like to call it. It was driving home from the grocery store, rockin’ along to the song mentioned above that I got it. My new found self love is because I am following my passion. I am being true to myself and in turn, true to everything I do and everyone I love. In less than 2 years, that girl that thought she was too fat and too ugly has a beauty blog following, has been and is being featured on http://www.salonmagazine.com and is a contributing author to http://www.hairstyle-blog.com., so yeah “I got my foot through the door and I ain’t goin’ nowhere”. Yeah, it took me a while…about 30 years…but I got here. You can get here too.
As women , for some insane reason, we think we can’t be self fulfilled and be a good wife, mother or friend – take your pick. I am here to tell you that you can. Actually, not being fulfilled, not following your passion or your drive is exactly what will have a negative impact on your marriage, your family and your relationships. Now, before you go and pack your bags and tell your family “See ya! the towels are in the dryer!”, calm down. Treat others how you want to be treated – their time is just as important as yours, their dreams and hopes are just as important as your own.
Find what make you happy. YOU happy – not your mother, your spouse, your partner, your nosey neighbor, YOU. From getting that pixie cut you have always wanted to buying that flat iron so you can finally have calm to your curls. Becoming the blonde you always felt you were to tinting your eyebrows. Becoming the owner of a shop you have always envisioned in your head and have the sketches of the floor plans tucked away in a box in the attic to becoming more present in your life, in the conversations with your loved ones, in the moments of your day. When you are living the life you are meant to live, slowly but surely, things will fall into place, and it’s gonna blow ya mind.