health and wellness, lifestyle, Menopause, music, Women, writing

Best of days

Leave a comment

August 1st, 2026. My 54th birthday. A day like any other, planned with precision to be exactly that. Booked time off from my two part time jobs. It’s a long weekend in my neck of the woods, and as a birthday present to myself, I added a day or two to the long weekend. I am moving at a snail’s pace, which is odd for me. My family has a running joke. “You complete your to do list by 9am. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?”, so, it’s safe to say, this is not my norm.

The past seven summers have been a blur, between moments that could have changed my life forever, lockdowns, getting Covid for my 50th birthday, job changes, job losses, care taking and losing track of doctor appointments and hospital visits, it’s all become a blur and the past seven years have all melted together into this big memory blob. Who knew I’d be thankful for Facebook memories and Instagram archives, if not for them, I’d have no idea what happened when and where.

I woke up to no alarm, with hot coffee waiting for me. My favorite perfume wrapped and waiting for me, Clinique Happy. The sun pouring through all the windows. Messages from loved ones, texts wishing me the best of days. Those wishes came to fruition, as it was the best of days. Slow and steady, visiting my folks, weekly grocery store run, a walk with my daughter, our favorite dinner and a chocolate McCain cake. I couldn’t have asked for more.

All day yesterday, my mind kept wandering back to this thought, why is it we only wish people the best of days on special occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries and weddings? Don’t get me wrong, being remembered with well wishes on my birthday was wonderful, and I treasure those who took time out of their day to remember me. I keep finding myself going back to my thought yesterday, why do we wait for celebrations to wish those we know to have “the best day ever!”. I think we should offer such well wishes everyday.

Think how wonderful it would be to hear “Hope today is your best day ever!” on a Monday as you’re about to present a new idea to your boss. “May all your wishes come true today!” as you’re wheeling a loved one to another appointment at the hospital. “Make a wish!” as your strolling through a park looking up at the trees swaying in the breeze. How wonderful to hear your phone ring and to hear “Wanted to call quick and wish you a wonderful day! Love you!” on a Wednesday afternoon, just because.

The world lost a beautiful soul last week. Glen Hansard. I’ve been listening to his music on repeat. At first it made me cry. Now it fills me with hope. I can’t explain it, it just does. Listening to his music, I find myself remembering myself – a journey I’ve been on a while now. Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s the state of the world, maybe it’s menopause, our 50’s are weird. I find myself returning to myself, the me who I was before the world got at me. The me who celebrated everything, for everyone, from birthdays to conquering a new recipe or facing a fear as big as a career change to as small as climbing to the top of a ladder. Something in me always wanted to make people feel seen, to stand up to the bully, to celebrate any and all accomplishments. Not every day can be the best of days, but I do believe as a child believes in fairies, that we can make at least one moment of everyday the best of days for ourselves and for others. Holding the door. Smiling as you walk by another. An “You’re Awesome!” gif sent to a friend. A memory sent to remind others of a great time. An iced coffee that’s the perfect color – if you know, you know.

As I type this, it’s raining outside. The kind of rain that makes you want to stay home with a cup of tea, a cozy blanket and a good book. It’s like Mother Nature got my memo about slowing down. I’m wearing my birthday present. Clinique Happy. A scent I adore and gave up in my 30’s for a reason I cannot fathom. Fresh Lemonade on my desk as I write. My wordsmith playlist playing. A cardinal landing beside my window for the flash of a second – hi Gramma. The best of days. I wish the same for you.

communication, health and wellness, lifestyle, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Once in a blue moon

Leave a comment

For anyone on any social media platform, you are well aware that yesterday was a blue full moon. I’m not usually someone who directs their life and decisions by my astrological sign and horoscope – unless it’s good news, then I’m all for it. That being said, something happened yesterday.

It was a usual slow and easy Sunday morning and I was lounging in my favorite chair. I looked over at my hubby with his bedhead – still cute after 32 years and said “I think I’ll go for a walk today or do something new, I need more whimsy in my life.”. Whimsy. Not a word I usually use, I think I’ve said it twice in my life. Yesterday, and when I framed our new thermostat with a vintage frame because it was a cute idea and also covered up the hole left by the old thermostat cover – two birds my friends, two birds. Back to the tale at hand. Hubby says he’ll come with me. We start to get ourselves together to venture out, I check my Insta as I’m waiting and there it was. A post about the effect of the blue moon for Leo’s – brings attention to joy, creativity and whimsy. Whimsy. Ok universe, message received.

My Sunday afternoon consisted of blue skies, cool breezes, sunlight, laughing with my hubby, and venturing into new stores looking for a new chair for me at my writing desk. I’ve been sitting on a circa 1930’s chair and quite frankly, my 50 year old ass can’t take it anymore. So, after 13 years, I decided it was time. What is it about us as women that we put ourselves, and as it so happens, our asses last? Another tale for another time. Anywho, I found a chair at a local business – support local when you can my friends. It swivels, it’s on wheels, it has arm rests. It doesn’t look like an office chair. It’s perfect. … and it was on sale which is even better – I love a good deal. We got home, set it up, retired the old chair to it’s original home, if front of the antique fold down desk. I spun around in my new chair a few times, looked out the window, heard the garden calling my name, grabbed my ear pods, and ventured outside.

I found myself humming along and almost dancing to the 90’s country tunes playing in my ear as I cut down the overgrowth of last year. As I stood back to appreciate my efforts, a random playlist brought me a moment of joy. Dwight Yoakam’s “Turn it on, Turn it up, Turn me loose” started to play. What’s the big deal? Well, let me tell you. The year was 1992, I had just moved in with my boyfriend – now husband. I woke up to him smiling at me, telling me to get dressed. He was taking me to Toronto to go shopping. He had $400 to spend. Just so you will know, and one day you’re children will know, $400 in 1992 was ALOT of money – hell, it is today, but I digress. After a day of following me around to all the shops, I spotted a record store. I had heard Dwight Yoakam’s music and loved it. I found his latest cassette tape, “If there was a way” – yes, I said cassette tape – Gen X here people. I looked at soon to be hubby and he smiled and took it to the counter. I listened to “Turn it on, Turn it up, Turn me loose” on repeat the whole 2 hour drive home, with a driver who hated country music. Yep. He isn’t a fan of the ol’ country twang, but he knew I loved it and wanted me to have what I wanted. Joy. Whimsy. Hmmm – even the title of the album, “If there was a way”, kind of ties this all together with a cute little bow, doesn’t it?

The point of today’s tale? Don’t let the fuckers get you down. Find your whimsy. We are being bombarded every damn day with horrific news, opinions being disguised as facts, AI telling us what’s “real”, disgusting behavior from world leaders – yeah sure, the picture was him as a doctor, not Jesus – if you know, you know.

We can’t control any of the above. We can control what we do, what we say, what we create. Be it a garden, watching the birds out your kitchen window, listening to music that fills your soul with joy, or spinning in an office chair.

beauty, health and wellness, lifestyle, Sunday Confessions, That girl in the red coat

Sunday Confessions

2 Comments

Here we are. Day whatever of social distancing. This past Friday I ventured out to the grocery store. For the first time in I don’t know how long I didn’t put any makeup on. Didn’t even fill in my eyebrows… the nineties thin brow was not my friend. Who knew it would take a virus to finally be comfortable with my looks, to let go off whatever ideals I had created in my head. Yep. Sorry to say, I have been known to think of myself as ugly, fat, take your pick of self deprecating thoughts or phrases, I have used them. Hell, when we were first engaged, my husband took me to see Phantom of the Opera and I had a freak out, total meltdown thinking I was too ugly to go. … yes, I see the irony in this… I was about to see a show about a dude with  a burned face wearing a mask. So, going out without make up on is a big deal for me. Since the breakout of COVID-19, I have felt a shift. Sometimes anxiety, sometimes sadness, but mostly a true sense of what matters and what does not.

I used to wake up every morning thinking of my “to do’s”, my “gotta haves”. I would practice meditation and proper breathing, or so I thought. It wasn’t until this outbreak that I realized I never took a moment to actually check myself. I find myself checking my breathing everyday, throughout the day. I stopped focusing on my weight and am now focused on my health, mental, emotional and physical. *Confession – I am still smoking, keeping it real. I find myself waking up to thoughts of loved ones and friends and wondering what I can do for them, if they need anything, not the usual “I look puffy today”, “did I drink enough water yesterday”, “I really gotta exercise more” thoughts. I find myself finding reasons to laugh and spread some happiness instead of just going along with the status quo. I have always been someone to find the good… drives my friends and family nuts most of the time. This past week, I have made it my mission to find the good, all the time, and when found, share the shit out of that sucker. You tube video’s, my favorite songs, jokes, Sir Patrick Stewart reading sonnets on Twitter, Yo-Yo Ma playing the cello on Facebook, TankGoodNews fabulous posts on Instagram, you name it, if it’s joyful or positive, I’m sharing it.

I know things are scary right now. The unknown always is. The lack of control can be overwhelming. We may not be able to control what’s happening but we can control ourselves. Check on friends, loved ones and neighbours. If allowed, take a surprise care package, leave it at their door and call them to let them know there is a surprise for them at their door. Write a letter. Call them, many people are alone in this and would love to hear another voice other than their own. Send thank you’s to health care providers. When you are out getting ONLY the necessities, be sure to thank all the employees you see, ask the cashier how they are doing, smile and say hello at everyone you see. Social distancing does not mean ignoring people. Stay home if and when you can. It’s not about you as it’s about everyone else. Having trouble staying put? Think of it this way… when someone gets sick and has to be hospitalized, they are alone. No visitors or loved ones allowed. Stay home.

 

Social distancing is the new norm. Many are in self isolation. Many are in quarantine. No matter which country you live in, whatever your political view or your spiritual practice, all of that really doesn’t matter anymore. We are one. We are all in this together. We are all in the same boat and it’s time to throw some life preservers.