Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Tales of Truth – the final edition

Well, here it is. The final edition of That Girl in the Red Coat’s Tales of Truth. I thought I had heard, seen and smelled (yes … smelled) it all. Over the past weeks, I have been proved wrong. With the full moon, a heat wave and news of the shop’s closure, it has been an interesting 2 weeks around the shop and I must say, I know for sure there is a higher power, because yours truly has been able to hold her tongue and keep it professional. So, gather ’round ladies and gents, boys and girls, for it is time for Tales of Truth.

  •  A woman came in looking for hard wax to do her own Brazilian wax at home…I guess she is really getting into representing the host of the summer Olympics. Anyway, as I showed her our selection, she asked me if instead of using a spatula to apply the wax, could she just use her fingers, like the last time. I asked her “The last time? I thought you said this was your first time?”. “Oh, it is. The place I go to, the girl says using her fingers was easier.”. I took a breath, swallowed the little bit of puke that came up and asked her if “her girl” wore gloves. “No. She just applied the wax, ripped, then put her finger back in the wax and did it again”. …..*THAT GIRL IN THE RED COAT tip – if your “wax girl” is using her fingers and double dipping with you, she is with everyone else. If you do not see gloves and a spatula….RUN!!!

 

  • Since the shop is closing, we have our products on sale. The signs say Everything on Sale. A woman came in and asked “Is everything on sale?”. “Yes, everything.”. She tilted her head to the side and said “So everything right? I’m not gonna get up to the counter and then you’ll pull the rug out from under me and charged me full pop on some things?”. I told her “That’s correct. Everything. No rug being pulled out.”. “Well, I’m gonna add up my total on my phone and it better match yours!”. …they matched.

 

  • A woman asked if she could return a product she bought a month ago and then buy it back with the new discount.

 

  • I was asked “Since you are closing, does this mean you won’t be open anymore?” …I am still trying to figure that one out.

 

  • A woman started to spray every hairspray she picked up. I let her know they weren’t testers. “What’s it matter? You’re closing anyways!”.

 

  • A woman came in for her hairspray. I let her know that unfortunately we had sold out of it and the owner was not ordering any more product. I shit you not, she leaned on the counter, turned her head to the side, spoke out of the side of her mouth and said “Listen, you order me 12. Sneak an order in. No one has to know. I’m good for it.”. …okay there Fredo.

 

  • We open at 9:30 a.m.. At 9:45 a.m. I hear the chirp of the Salon door and with it a shriek of “NO!!!!!!!” – so loud one of my stylist’s shut off her dryer and walked away from her client to see what the shouting was about. “You can’t close! You can’t! Where will I go now? You have ruined my whole day!!!!”. …and good morning to you as well.

 

  • “You’re not closing.” a woman said as she came in the shop. I told her the owner had decided to close. “No she didn’t. You’re not closing!”. It took 5 minutes to convince a woman that the shop was in fact closing.

 

  • A woman came up to the counter with her product and told me “I have a bone to pick with you! I was in last month and you said nothing about closing. You let me buy product at full price! I am not impressed!”. I let her know I understood her disappointment since I didn’t know a month ago either. …she stopped talking after that.

 

  • “Well, aren’t you just the most annoying thing today!” – what a woman said to me when she saw the shop is closing.

 

  • A woman came in, stared at me, stomped her feet, pouted then sat in the chair by the front door for 5 minutes staring at me without saying a word. (I know it was 5 minutes, because I timed it). When she finally stood she looked at me and said I was being unfair for closing the shop. I let her know the owner had decided to close and before I could explain why she told me “If you cared, you would have made her stay open. This is horrible. Now I have to drive further for my products!” …took every ounce of restraint to not say “time to get off your cross, someone needs the wood”

 

  • “Well, aren’t you shit out of luck. All you can do is this and now the shop is closing.” …just another gem bestowed on yours truly. …you would be happy to know I didn’t hold my tongue on this one and assured the woman that I was not just a girl standing in a shop.

 

  • As I rang through a women’s purchase, I told her the total and as she gave me the cash, she smirked and said “Shop’s closing huh. No job for you!”. …I know of the soup Nazi, guess she is the job Nazi.

 

  • “Where am I going to get my shampoo now?!” – something I hear at least 20 times a day. When I let them know they can check the local Salon’s “Can’t you call around to all the Salon’s for me?”….sometimes, there are no words.

Last but not least, the woman who flashed me her red bump riddled bikini line came in and said “Sorry to see you’re closing! Who’s gonna help me now? Who am I gonna show my issues to?!?”. …I…shit…you…not.

 

Tales of Truth

 

 

 

Beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

Tales of Truth – the 22nd Edition

So here we are. It’s Monday and those familiar with my blog know that Monday’s are my usually meant for my Monday Motivator – a review of a FAB! product to help you have a good hair day every Monday and everyday. Well Beauties, this Monday is going to be different. I usually come in contact with the “Full Mooners” the week leading up to the full moon. This past month, the days leading up to the full moon were calm and collected and I thought that I had been given a reprieve…well doesn’t the universe have a sense of humor. It wasn’t until after the peak our lunar pal that all hell broke loose. So gather ’round Ladies and Gents, boys and girls, for it is time for That Girl in the Red Coat’s Tales of Truth…the 22nd Edition…sigh.

A woman comes in to the shop with a list looking for “that gel” she likes. I ask her if she remembers the name brand of the gel she likes, to which she says “No. I don’t remember. That’s your job.”. I take the high road and apologize that I don’t remember all of my customers (over 2000, by the way) favorites. She sighs so I ask her if she had it written down on the list she brought with her. She looked at me and told me “I was nosey and shouldn’t be looking at other peoples things”.

A woman came into the shop, put her list on the counter, shoved it in my direction and said “I need all these products. Get them for me and I am in kind of a hurry.”. Last time I checked the Golden Arches weren’t above my head.

A woman came in with a list, I guess April was list month, asking if I sold Joico Firm Gel. I showed her our display and got one of the shelf for her. She held it in her hand and looked at me and asked “Why did you get me this?”. “I thought that’s what you asked for when you came in” I answered. She scowled at me and said “Why would I ask for a gel that I don’t want? I only asked if you sold it so I would be sure not to buy it!”. ….I dared not ask if she had the gel she wanted written on her list…don’t want to be “nosey”.

As I was giving back a woman her change from her purchase, she looked back at our Salon, watching the girls applying color to their clients and said “hmmm, so you guys do color huh?”. “The girls in the Salon do, yes. Would you like to make an appointment?” to which she said “So, you don’t do color?”. I let her know I manage the shop and take care of the retail/customer service aspect of the Salon to which she said “So, how do you explain that your hair is colored?”. …there are no words people, no words.

A woman came in looking to color her hair at home. She had dark roots and wanted to match up her blonde and didn’t want to spend money at the Salon. I let her know that color is a science, especially blonde and it would be best to go to her Salon. “Listen, I took science in high school and made my husband watch you tube video’s on how to make your hair blonde so how hard could it be?”. …I wonder if there was a prenup.

“I need a hairspray that has a smell my husband would like.” The woman couldn’t understand how I couldn’t know what that was.

A woman came in looking for emery boards and as I was walking her over to our selection, she asked if there were any testers she could use, because she really didn’t need one, she just wanted to get rid of the snag in her nail.

A woman came into the shop and as I was saying “Good Morning!”, I was told “I’m just looking”. After a few minutes I made eye contact with her and smiled at her. “I told you I was just looking!” then she stormed out.

A woman came in looking for wax for at home hair removal. I asked her what she would be needing the wax for. “Ummm, to get rid of my hair”, to which I answered “Yes. I need to know what hair on which part of your body, because some waxes are better than others for lets say, Brazilians, if that is what you are going to do”. It was at this point she actually lifted her leg up and pointed to her vagina and said “you mean rip out the hair down there?”. Yes, rip out the hair down there, exactly…thank god she was wearing pants. I know way too much about other women’s vagina’s in my town.

 

That Girl in the Red Coat

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat

Tales of Truth – the 21st. edition!

Just when I think I have written my final installment of my Tales of Truth, that I have seen and heard it all, the universe gives me a little nudge to remind that I am not quite finished. The upside to the craziness and absurdities – I have something to write about and you all get a giggle or two. So gather ’round Ladies and Gents, boys and girls, for it is time for the 21st. edition of That Girl in the Red Coat’s Tales of Truth!

  • A woman came in looking for a quieter hairspray. Yes, a quieter hairspray. It seems that most aerosol cans are too noisy. As I reminded myself not to show it on my face, I let her know that using a pump hairspray would be a “quieter” option. “No….it’s too much work to press down the pump again and again.”. …that’s not the only thing that is too much work…but I digress.
  • A woman asked me what the difference between non acetone polish remover and acetone polish remover was. I let her know that non acetone does not contain acetone and is a little gentler to the skin and nails and that acetone contains acetone and can tend to be a bit drying but is best for removing darker shades of nail polish. She looked at me and said “So, what you’re telling me is there is no difference.” ….sigh
  • We have a chair at the front window for our Salon clients who may be waiting for ride. I had a woman come in the shop, sit down in the chair and begin to organize her wallet. I asked her if I could help her and she said “No. I just felt like cleaning out my purse and this looks like as good of a place as any.”. …well, it’s a pretty nice chair with a nice view….of the parking lot.
  • “Did you know that I had two toe nails removed yesterday?” – the answer to my “Good Morning!” greeting as the customer came in the shop
  • A woman came in asking if I sold anything for those little red bumps people get. I asked her if she meant the ingrown hairs on legs that can happen after waxing. “No. Not there. Here…” My hand went up and I stopped her right there and let her know that she can just say her bikini area.  ….Ladies, there are other ways to show your Canadian pride than showing your beaver.
  • I had to promise a woman I would not tell her stylist that she came into our shop and bought some product. Very 007.    ….by the way, I have no idea who this woman is or who her stylist is.
  • A gent came in asking about at home waxing. I showed him our selection of waxing products. He asked me “What do you think of brazilians for men?”. I let him know that he may want to go to a Salon that offers that service because he could injure himself if he tries to do it himself, to which he said “Sorry, you misunderstood me. I want to know what you think about them. Do you like them?” ….seriously? Is this what the world has come to? This is the best line a dude can come up with? Hey gents – so you will know and one day your children will know, women do not want to talk about your balls. We don’t.
  • For the past few months the peroxide that we retail has been on back order, so I have brought in a new line until my usual is available. A woman came in asking if her regular peroxide was available yet and I let her know it was still on back order, but I did have another available. “I know that. You sold it to me last time. The little white bottle.” to which I said “Our replacement peroxide was in a blue bottle, not a white. I don’t think you bought it here.”. Well, that was the wrong thing to say. “I ONLY shop here and you are mistaken.”. After about 3 minutes of discussing how I was wrong, I asked her to bring the bottle in he next time she came in, so I could see the bottle. “Oh I will and I will laugh at you!”. The next day, yep, the very next day she came into the shop shaking the bottle in the air, giggling at me. “Here it is! Told you!”. It was then that I let her know that she had bought it at another beauty supply and that the sale sticker was still on the bottle. She looked at me and said ( I shit you not) “well, now that it settled, hopefully you can stop talking about it and move on.”.
That Girl in the Red Coat

That Girl in the Red Coat

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Tip(s) ‘O the day

I manage a Salon/Retail shop. I have had over 20 years of experience working with the public. Everyday, I mean EVERYDAY I see things that either make me do a double take or make me look for the nearest needle so I can stick it in my eyes. Don’t even get me started on what I smell …yeah I said smell. Or what I hear for that matter…those of you familiar with my Tales of Truth series know what I am talking about.

From time to time on Twitter I will give a “tip ‘o the day”. Well, me being me, I have decided to make you all a little list. A “Tip ‘o the day” list. Think of it as a how to/ self help visual aid. Feel free to print it off and give it to your friends, coworkers, family members…the mailman.

– When coming for an appointment at the Salon and you only want a spray cut, it is polite to have showered in the last 24 hours. *The same goes for your Brazilian wax appointment…wait for it…there you go.

– When you have ingrown hairs along your bikini line, you can just say so. Please refrain from unzipping your 501’s at the front desk.

– If you need to blow your nose, put the tissue in your pocket or your purse. Do not throw it on the front counter as you ask if I can “throw that out”.

– Do not clean out your wallet/purse of old receipts as you wait for the debit machine to process and tell me to “make myself useful and throw these out for me”.

– For the gents – when we can tell what religion you are – your pants are too tight.

– Pajama pants are for slumber parties and college co-eds and the occasional trip to Walmart. Going out for a night on the town? Leave the fleece ensemble at home.

– Do not open every shade of polish and try it on your nails to see if you like it. There are swatches for a reason.

– Unless you see the word “TESTER” on the package, it is not a tester. Do not open every pomade container and swoosh your finger around in it.

– When shopping with a small child, I know it can be trying. I am a mother. That being said…if Junior has been “freaking out in every store all day” take it as a sign to go home and try again another day. For the love of God…take the child home.

– Sales people are not babysitters, nor are hairdressers.

– The Dollar store sells deodorant, bars of soap and wash clothes and towels, toothpaste and toothbrushes…enough said.

– If you think you have a fungal infection on your feet, do not come in the shop and sit on the floor taking off your shoe. Give your M.D. a call or go to the Walk In down the street. Seriously, I can’t help you and honestly…it is icky.

– When you see a dish of complimentary candies, please help yourself to one or two. Digging through the dish to take 8 of your favorites is a little rude.

– If you are going to throw a fit and swear at the salesperson/cashier, could you at least try to be grammatically correct.

– Never, I mean never belittle your child in front of the stylist. “Can you fix this? Isn’t it disgusting?!” is a horrible description of your child who happens to have an oily scalp, and quite honestly, it makes you look like an asshole.

– Don’t lie about using a box dye. We know you did. Hell, the guys on the space station can tell.

– Louis Vuitton purses and Crocs are a no no.

– Last but certainly not least…Do not throw the flat iron.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Alright….where’s the camera

Ever have one of those days that you find yourself looking over your shoulder, looking up and down in search of the camera crew and Suzanne Somers to jump out and say “Smile! You’re on candid camera!”. Today I was praying for such an exclamation that never came. Sad but true, the following tales are true and they all happened to yours truly today.

The phone rings. “Is it safe to get my hair colored?” is the question posed to me. “I’m sorry.” I say, “why do you ask if it is safe to get your hair colored?” to which she answers “I read in the paper that someone in Florida died while getting their hair colored!”. (10 bucks the “paper” started with an N and ended with an R)…by the way, it’s 9:40 a.m.. The shop has been open 10 minutes.

A woman comes into the shop with a can of hairspray. “I bought this here and it is defective!”. So I ask her what seems to be the issue with the hairspray. (from time to time aerosol cans don’t spray properly and we will gladly exchange them). “The issue is it sounds funny every time I use it.”. I shit you not people, it is what she said. So I take the can and spray it a few times and it sounds like hairspray being sprayed out of an aerosol can. I tell her “It is spraying evenly and not clogging up, I can’t see a defect with the product.” to which she says “well, I don’t like the sound it makes, maybe another will sound better”. …it’s 10:30 a.m..

A woman came in the store to tell me in great detail about how crappy her life is and how she can’t seem to get rid of the pesky rash she has “down there” ever since she had a brazilian wax….maybe I should re think the whole “how are you today” greeting….it’s 11:30 a.m.

I had a woman complain about having to pay retail prices when she is a hairdresser, so I offer the address to the wholesaler’s in our area and she proceeds to explain “well…I’m not really a hairdresser, I never got my license but I did go to school, but I never finished, but I still do hair, so I think I deserve wholesale prices”….that’s like saying you’re an E.R. doctor because you took first aid in the Girl Guides.

Last but certainly not least, a lovely couple came in about 20 minutes before closing. The woman told me she was looking for wax for hair removal. I showed her our selection and asked if she needed hard wax or cream wax. I never should have asked. It was at this moment that her Romeo was at her side and they explained,quite joyously that they prefer hard wax because they give each other brazilian waxes. Let’s add this to the ever growing list of things I really don’t need to know.

So there you have it, a glimpse into the daily happenings of That girl in the red coat. This is why I don’t watch much reality T.V., I get enough of it at work.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Tales of Truth – Part 6

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather round. Yes, it is that time again, tales of truth. The past week has been an unusual one, more so than normal. Maybe it’s the weather…a tad milder than normal, maybe it’s the holiday season approaching, maybe it is the pressure to have the turkey basted to perfection. I couldn’t put my finger on it until I was looking at my calender counting the days until the next available hour I would have to myself (December 3rd.) that I realized there is a full moon approaching. That explains everything.

Here is a glimpse into the daily life of that girl in the red coat, what I hear and what I see and sometimes wish I could un-see.

– “Your hair looks so nice, like fur, like….my cat. Oh, your hair reminds me of my cat.” – Thank god she said cat. (wait for it…there you go)

– “I want to get a Brazilian done. I heard it was easy enough. Do you think if I do the splits standing up and use the wall to hold my balance I could do it?”. I didn’t know what to say so I told her to You Tube the how to video on Brazilian Waxing. (You are gonna look it up now aren’t you? You know you are. You aren’t fooling anyone.).

– “If you can curl your hair with it, why do you call it a flat iron?” – how is it that these people make more money than I do?

– “Do you sell toe nail polish?” – had to explain that nail polish can be used on both finger nails and toe nails – I swear I did a shoulder check looking for a camera crew and Ashton Kutcher

– A customer asked the difference between root boost and mousse. I explained that “root boost is sprayed directly at the root, rub it in and then blow dry. A mousse is a foam that you disburse into your hand, emulsify it in both hands and rub it through out the hair, then blow dry.”. She stared at me and responded with “so..what’s the difference?” – Where is the principal’s office when you need it?

– A woman  called the shop asking me if I thought her hair color was too brassy. I told her it would be easier for me to tell if she was at the shop. She asked me why.

– I had a customer ask for a product line I did not carry. “I bought it here before! You don’t know what you are talking about.”. I apologized and explained that our shop has never carried that line. “Well , I know I bought it here! I shop here all the time! Give me your head office’s phone number!”. I told her we were locally owned and operated and not part of a chain. That’s when the light bulb switched on and she realized not only was she in the wrong store, she was on the wrong city. I offered her a complimentary mint.

– “My son loves computers. Can he come behind the counter while I shop?” – didn’t realize I had such a resemblance to Nanny McPhee

– A customer asked me if we sold Sebastian Shaper Plus. I said yes and took her over to the shelf. She just stood there saying “Really. You sell Sebastian Shaper Plus.”. She said it three times, then stared at me. I asked if she wanted me to get it down for her. She nodded as she stared and smiled and then walked up to the counter. I stood back for a minute- in case an alien sprang out of her chest or her head began to spin around.

There are five more days until the full moon. Although the thought of what may be said or seen does frighten me a little, it will make for some great tales to tell and maybe even bring a bit of laughter to an otherwise dull day.

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Mr. Miyagi and no wax floors

I hear the familiar chirp of the shop’s door chime. “Do you sell wax?” I am asked. “Are you looking for hair wax for styling or wax for hair removal?” (I always clarify…you never know.). “For hair removal, I want to do my own waxing.”. A phrase I hear just as often as I hear “I thought the hair color I put on my hair 3 weeks ago grows out that color.”. Yes, I hear it often. I do. Seriously.

So, I ask the question I always ask in this situation, “Have you waxed by yourself before?”. More often than not, the answer is “No, but it looks easy enough.”. Well my lovelies, looks can be deceiving. Yes, waxing is easier and quicker than shaving…if you know what you are doing. The wax must  be the correct consistency, the proper temperature and must be applied properly – not too thick or thin of a layer, and you must rip the strip in the proper direction. Also, depending on the area of the body, the proper wax must be used or Mr. Miyagi’s “wax on, wax off” will have a whole new meaning.

Waxing your legs is one thing. If you decide to wax your own brows, BE SURE you know what you are doing. One slip of the strip and you may begin to hear “live long and prosper” while strolling down the lane way. If you are attempting facial waxing, be sure to hold the skin taut or excess facial hair won’t be your only issue. The same goes for underarm waxing. This is not a one person job, at least not on your first 20 attempts. Unless you want to walk around with your arms sticking out like Randy in his snowsuit in a Christmas Story, have a helper. Oh, and if you prefer the look and feel of a Brazilian wax and you think it’s no big deal, first, god be with you. Second, get someone to slap you and go to a Salon. Seriously, it is an intimate procedure and if the wrong wax is used, there will be blood. There is a reason why homes have “no wax floors”. The only person besides you and your aesthetician that needs to see that is your gynecologist.

Oh, and one more thing. If you attempt to wax at home, and you get ingrown hairs, I don’t need to see them. I know what they are and what they look like. I really, I mean, I really do not need to see anymore bikini lines riddled with red bumps while I am standing at the front counter.

“Wax on, wax off”. Oh Mr. Miyagi, you made it sound so simple.