Tip(s) ‘O the day

I manage a Salon/Retail shop. I have had over 20 years of experience working with the public. Everyday, I mean EVERYDAY I see things that either make me do a double take or make me look for the nearest needle so I can stick it in my eyes. Don’t even get me started on what I smell …yeah I said smell. Or what I hear for that matter…those of you familiar with my Tales of Truth series know what I am talking about.

From time to time on Twitter I will give a “tip ‘o the day”. Well, me being me, I have decided to make you all a little list. A “Tip ‘o the day” list. Think of it as a how to/ self help visual aid. Feel free to print it off and give it to your friends, coworkers, family members…the mailman.

– When coming for an appointment at the Salon and you only want a spray cut, it is polite to have showered in the last 24 hours. *The same goes for your Brazilian wax appointment…wait for it…there you go.

– When you have ingrown hairs along your bikini line, you can just say so. Please refrain from unzipping your 501’s at the front desk.

– If you need to blow your nose, put the tissue in your pocket or your purse. Do not throw it on the front counter as you ask if I can “throw that out”.

– Do not clean out your wallet/purse of old receipts as you wait for the debit machine to process and tell me to “make myself useful and throw these out for me”.

– For the gents – when we can tell what religion you are – your pants are too tight.

– Pajama pants are for slumber parties and college co-eds and the occasional trip to Walmart. Going out for a night on the town? Leave the fleece ensemble at home.

– Do not open every shade of polish and try it on your nails to see if you like it. There are swatches for a reason.

– Unless you see the word “TESTER” on the package, it is not a tester. Do not open every pomade container and swoosh your finger around in it.

– When shopping with a small child, I know it can be trying. I am a mother. That being said…if Junior has been “freaking out in every store all day” take it as a sign to go home and try again another day. For the love of God…take the child home.

– Sales people are not babysitters, nor are hairdressers.

– The Dollar store sells deodorant, bars of soap and wash clothes and towels, toothpaste and toothbrushes…enough said.

– If you think you have a fungal infection on your feet, do not come in the shop and sit on the floor taking off your shoe. Give your M.D. a call or go to the Walk In down the street. Seriously, I can’t help you and honestly…it is icky.

– When you see a dish of complimentary candies, please help yourself to one or two. Digging through the dish to take 8 of your favorites is a little rude.

– If you are going to throw a fit and swear at the salesperson/cashier, could you at least try to be grammatically correct.

– Never, I mean never belittle your child in front of the stylist. “Can you fix this? Isn’t it disgusting?!” is a horrible description of your child who happens to have an oily scalp, and quite honestly, it makes you look like an asshole.

– Don’t lie about using a box dye. We know you did. Hell, the guys on the space station can tell.

– Louis Vuitton purses and Crocs are a no no.

– Last but certainly not least…Do not throw the flat iron.

2 thoughts on “Tip(s) ‘O the day

  1. I read your blog all the time, but haven’t commented until today. This post was great – like reading a bunch of fortune cookies (but without the calories!) or a little book of daily proverbs. I just wanted to tell you that you are such a terrific writer; informative, hysterical, honest. It’s like sitting down for coffee with a gal pal and having her tell me straight up what’s going on.

    Keep on doing your awesome thing!

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