Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Do no harm…but take no shit

3 Comments

My title for today’s tale is a quote I came across a few weeks ago, and has become a little mantra of mine. As of late, I have been seeing and hearing many things that are ugly. I don’t mean the Pajama pant/Louis Vuitton ensembles at the local market (although the look is a little gag worthy). I am talking about how people are treating each other, talking to and about each other. People taking advantage of other’s concern, compassion and kindness. It pisses me off to no end.

As you all know, I manage a retail shop/salon, so I am privy to many a conversation. I see women say to another woman’s face “You look terrific!” and the minute she leaves the shop they turn and say to whomever is in their radar (usually lucky me) “wow…what happened there?”. “You forgot to take your meds?!” is what I want to desperately say. Alas, I strap on my oxygen mask, take the high road and answer with “I don’t know what you are talking about. I thought you said she looked terrific.”. – this usually stumps them, they stare at me for a minute and before they have a second to spew another ugly remark I wish them a great day, and move on to my tasks at hand, be it inventory, helping a customer or simply walking away – hence….do no harm, but take no shit.

One of the saddest events I have witnessed is watching someone be ignored. Their stories dismissed, like a flyer handed to you on the street, or worse, not even being an after thought. There is nothing more hurtful than when someone asks how your day was and as you begin to tell them, they stare off into space, or better yet, look at their phone and then look up at you and say “What?!”. (come on…we have all done it at least once…lets hope it was just once.).

There seems to be a HUGE misunderstanding out there, that to be kind means you must be a doormat. To be kind you must be all “a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down”. That to be kind you must smile and be polite and take anything that comes at you and put a Pollyanna spin on it. I am here to tell you that is not the case, nor should it ever be. As defined by the Oxford Dictionary… Kind – Gentle and considerate towards others. It is not defined –  allow yourself to be kicked in the crotch, take one for the team, allow yourself to be ignored or allow yourself to lower yourself so someone else won’t feel uncomfortable or jealous. Allowing someone to mistreat your kindness not only hurts you, it hurts them – not very gentle nor considerate. Before you begin to freak out about hurting them – let me explain. It hurts them because now they are resented and don’t even know it. Not too kind my friends…kinda makes you just like them. It isn’t pretty nor is it comfortable, but when someone is being an ass to you,and you see them as a vital part of your life six months down the road, ya gotta call them out on it…the ass throwing the flat iron, let her keep all that crazy to herself. Do no harm, but take no shit.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Tip(s) ‘O the day

2 Comments

I manage a Salon/Retail shop. I have had over 20 years of experience working with the public. Everyday, I mean EVERYDAY I see things that either make me do a double take or make me look for the nearest needle so I can stick it in my eyes. Don’t even get me started on what I smell …yeah I said smell. Or what I hear for that matter…those of you familiar with my Tales of Truth series know what I am talking about.

From time to time on Twitter I will give a “tip ‘o the day”. Well, me being me, I have decided to make you all a little list. A “Tip ‘o the day” list. Think of it as a how to/ self help visual aid. Feel free to print it off and give it to your friends, coworkers, family members…the mailman.

– When coming for an appointment at the Salon and you only want a spray cut, it is polite to have showered in the last 24 hours. *The same goes for your Brazilian wax appointment…wait for it…there you go.

– When you have ingrown hairs along your bikini line, you can just say so. Please refrain from unzipping your 501’s at the front desk.

– If you need to blow your nose, put the tissue in your pocket or your purse. Do not throw it on the front counter as you ask if I can “throw that out”.

– Do not clean out your wallet/purse of old receipts as you wait for the debit machine to process and tell me to “make myself useful and throw these out for me”.

– For the gents – when we can tell what religion you are – your pants are too tight.

– Pajama pants are for slumber parties and college co-eds and the occasional trip to Walmart. Going out for a night on the town? Leave the fleece ensemble at home.

– Do not open every shade of polish and try it on your nails to see if you like it. There are swatches for a reason.

– Unless you see the word “TESTER” on the package, it is not a tester. Do not open every pomade container and swoosh your finger around in it.

– When shopping with a small child, I know it can be trying. I am a mother. That being said…if Junior has been “freaking out in every store all day” take it as a sign to go home and try again another day. For the love of God…take the child home.

– Sales people are not babysitters, nor are hairdressers.

– The Dollar store sells deodorant, bars of soap and wash clothes and towels, toothpaste and toothbrushes…enough said.

– If you think you have a fungal infection on your feet, do not come in the shop and sit on the floor taking off your shoe. Give your M.D. a call or go to the Walk In down the street. Seriously, I can’t help you and honestly…it is icky.

– When you see a dish of complimentary candies, please help yourself to one or two. Digging through the dish to take 8 of your favorites is a little rude.

– If you are going to throw a fit and swear at the salesperson/cashier, could you at least try to be grammatically correct.

– Never, I mean never belittle your child in front of the stylist. “Can you fix this? Isn’t it disgusting?!” is a horrible description of your child who happens to have an oily scalp, and quite honestly, it makes you look like an asshole.

– Don’t lie about using a box dye. We know you did. Hell, the guys on the space station can tell.

– Louis Vuitton purses and Crocs are a no no.

– Last but certainly not least…Do not throw the flat iron.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Age appropriate?

9 Comments

I am a manager of a retail shop/salon. I am a wife. I am a mother. I, like you, are busy and from time to time may miss a news headline or two. Being in the beauty biz I try to keep up with all the latest trends. There is one trend that has baffled me since the first time my eyes gazed upon it and I am in search of it’s conception. I saw it again this morning as I was displaying the Joico Ltr. duo’s…Louis Vuitton bag, Dior sunglasses and ….pajama pants. Seriously?! When and where did this begin? Who thought this was a good idea? Sure, if you are 20 and living on campus and need mommy to do your laundry on your next trip home I guess I can understand, but when you are 40 and running your daily errands?!?! Come on…take a minute and put on some pants. I know you have a minute because you took the time to put on your false eyelashes and Lip Venom to pout up your lips.

As my eyesight struggled to return to normal, I found myself thinking of all the other trends that are not multi-generational. (I don’t know if that is a word…I like it…it fits). The following are trends that women over a certain age should ponder for a minute or two.

– Feathers. Yes they are a cool hair accessory. One strategically placed to add a bit of flare to your ‘do is great. Channeling Steven Tyler is a whole other ball game…unless you are a rockin’ mom, you won’t be able to pull it off. You won’t. You won’t. (by the way…just because you know who Steven Tyler is doesn’t mean you are a “rockin'” mom.).

– When you see a new hair trend on a child under the age of 14 and think it is neat, stop and think about that…you think what a 14 year old is doing is neat, a 14 year old. Wait for it…there you go.

– Hair extensions. An awesome invention…until it falls into the wrong hands. They are an investment, not just of money but of your time. You must maintain them. Nothing sadder than a woman in a designer outfit and a rats nest on her head. Thinking of extensions? Invest in the clip-in extensions. If you know how to use a bobby pin, you can use a clip-in extension. Put ’em in at the beginning of the day, take ’em out at the end. Make sure they are Human Hair or when you go to apply your flat iron or curling iron you could have a melting mess. Come to think of it, go rent “Good Hair” Chris Rock’s documentary.

– False eyelashes. Another terrific accessory when used properly. Take a minute and place them properly. Nothing more scary to the child behind you in the check out line than when you wave at him saying “Hi honey” and it looks like your eye is falling out of your head. Also, unless you are Cher, try leaving the rainbow lashes for a special occasion.

– Hello Kitty.Enough said.

– Tights and belly shirts. Ladies, unless you are a fitness instructor who is at this moment teaching a class…leave ’em in the locker room. There is a reason why she said “oops, I did it again”.

As women we all look back on our youth and feel we missed out on something because parents wouldn’t let us try the newest trend in body piercing or we thought we were too fat or too ugly. That was when we were children. We are now women and know how awesome we are.

What I am getting at is this. If you want to follow the latest trends because it makes you happy and feel beautiful…knock yourself out. If your doing it to be hip, or so your kids will think your cool or to get back at your mother for not letting you get a tattoo when you were 16, take a breath and take a moment to ponder…and please, when you leave the house…put on some pants.

Beauty, Hair Care, Uncategorized

The shallow end of the gene pool

Leave a comment

Today is my day off. Got up, had coffee, made lunches, had coffee, kissed the hubby and the kid good bye, had coffee, started my day. I didn’t check my email this morning, guess I should have. Apparently I missed the memo about the “day off” dress code. Hmmm, that must be it. That is the only explanation I can come up with for the morning I just experienced. You see, I did my hair this morning and I put on a little makeup. Once you get up off the floor from the shock of it all, read on.

I like to do my hair, I like my lipgloss, I like my wedge sandals (they have a red/white gingham pattern!). I like to look good for me – not for the mailman, the milkman, your husband, boyfriend or girlfriend for that matter. Wanting to look nice does not mean that I am stupid or swim in the shallow end of the gene pool. Ladies and gents, promise me, from now on when you see someone looking nice or put together, smile at them- do not scowl.  More often than not, sorry to burst the bubble, it is not about you. It is not personal. They nor I awoke this morning thinking “I’m going to put on makeup and brush my hair to drive that woman in the grocery express lane crazy with worry and paranoia.”. Yes, I am on the cusp of turning forty and I am still amazed that people are petty.  If judging people on their appearance is your hobby…time for a new hobby. That being said…you want to wear flip flops and pajama pants – knock yourself out. (Although, you may want to rethink that ensemble for the opera – perfect for the soap opera).

So, to recap…. No matter what apparel they are wearing, no matter what their hair looks like, makeup or not….be kind. Don’t make a face…like your parents always said, it could get stuck like that.