Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather round. Yes, it is that time again, tales of truth. The past week has been an unusual one, more so than normal. Maybe it’s the weather…a tad milder than normal, maybe it’s the holiday season approaching, maybe it is the pressure to have the turkey basted to perfection. I couldn’t put my finger on it until I was looking at my calender counting the days until the next available hour I would have to myself (December 3rd.) that I realized there is a full moon approaching. That explains everything.
Here is a glimpse into the daily life of that girl in the red coat, what I hear and what I see and sometimes wish I could un-see.
– “Your hair looks so nice, like fur, like….my cat. Oh, your hair reminds me of my cat.” – Thank god she said cat. (wait for it…there you go)
– “I want to get a Brazilian done. I heard it was easy enough. Do you think if I do the splits standing up and use the wall to hold my balance I could do it?”. I didn’t know what to say so I told her to You Tube the how to video on Brazilian Waxing. (You are gonna look it up now aren’t you? You know you are. You aren’t fooling anyone.).
– “If you can curl your hair with it, why do you call it a flat iron?” – how is it that these people make more money than I do?
– “Do you sell toe nail polish?” – had to explain that nail polish can be used on both finger nails and toe nails – I swear I did a shoulder check looking for a camera crew and Ashton Kutcher
– A customer asked the difference between root boost and mousse. I explained that “root boost is sprayed directly at the root, rub it in and then blow dry. A mousse is a foam that you disburse into your hand, emulsify it in both hands and rub it through out the hair, then blow dry.”. She stared at me and responded with “so..what’s the difference?” – Where is the principal’s office when you need it?
– A woman called the shop asking me if I thought her hair color was too brassy. I told her it would be easier for me to tell if she was at the shop. She asked me why.
– I had a customer ask for a product line I did not carry. “I bought it here before! You don’t know what you are talking about.”. I apologized and explained that our shop has never carried that line. “Well , I know I bought it here! I shop here all the time! Give me your head office’s phone number!”. I told her we were locally owned and operated and not part of a chain. That’s when the light bulb switched on and she realized not only was she in the wrong store, she was on the wrong city. I offered her a complimentary mint.
– “My son loves computers. Can he come behind the counter while I shop?” – didn’t realize I had such a resemblance to Nanny McPhee
– A customer asked me if we sold Sebastian Shaper Plus. I said yes and took her over to the shelf. She just stood there saying “Really. You sell Sebastian Shaper Plus.”. She said it three times, then stared at me. I asked if she wanted me to get it down for her. She nodded as she stared and smiled and then walked up to the counter. I stood back for a minute- in case an alien sprang out of her chest or her head began to spin around.
There are five more days until the full moon. Although the thought of what may be said or seen does frighten me a little, it will make for some great tales to tell and maybe even bring a bit of laughter to an otherwise dull day.