Beauty, Business, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women

…don’t ask…don’t get

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As of late, many of those that I hold dear are feeling inadequate, feeling like they are missing out on something, wondering “is this all there is?”. Between loss of their job, their business closing, their marriage ripping at the seams, their kids struggling to find answers to questions they don’t even know how to ask, you name it, the struggle is real.

For those of you who follow my tales, you are all familiar with my past and present struggles. For those of you checking yours truly out for the first time, let me shine some light for y’all. I have been the girl who felt like she didn’t fit in. I have been the new wife wondering what my role was to be. I have been (and still am) the Mom wondering if I am screwing up my kid. I have been the woman who couldn’t look at her own reflection. I have been the woman who hated her hair and her body. I have been the woman who lost her job because of a store closure. I have been the wife of a husband with health issues. I have been the daughter of parents with health issues. I have been the sister of a wonderful gal who’s life was turned upside down. I have been the woman who found herself thinking on more than one occasion “now what the hell am I gonna do?”. I am here to tell you that no matter how dark the day may seem or how overwhelming life can get, sooner or later, the light begins to shine and you will once again feel in control. You will. Seriously, you will. You want to know how? Ask. Plain and simple. Ask for help. Ask for advice. Ask your business contacts if they know of any opportunities. Ask for a glass of Chardonnay if you need, just ask.

I know. I know. You’ve heard this before. Tony Robbins makes you walk on hot coals. The Secret tells you to put it “out there.”. Vision boards are all the craze. Everywhere you turn someone is telling you or pushing a Pinterest post in your face or sending a kitten meme telling you “when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!”. I for one believe that the mind and your perspective have a HUGE impact on your life’s outcome – here’s the little nugget that seems to get lost in translation – you gotta ask and you gotta do the work. You gotta. Walking on hot coals may remove something from your bucket list, if you don’t follow through with the tools bestowed on you, you will just have sore feet. Putting your desires “out there” is a fantastic idea, if you don’t put your plan into action, the universe will deliver to the wrong address. Creating a vision board is fantastic, I have one of my own. If you just look at it all day without speaking to anyone or leaving the couch, it’s just going to be something you made and look at.

We cannot control everything. We may not be able to reverse a health issue for a loved one or stop a toddler from throwing a fit in the parking lot. One thing I know for certain is, although we cannot control our job status/career, we can damn well have a say in it. The point of today’s tale is to give you the proof you need that if you don’t ask, you don’t get. In the big scheme of things, my accomplishments may seem tiny, to me, they are huge. I have been blogging over 6 year now. The last year I did not write as much as I wanted to. I thought my blog should change – I was listening to fear…big mistake…huge. (Pretty Woman reference…love the movie). After the shop closed, instead of asking myself what I should do, I let people tell me what I should do. Not their fault, that’s on me. Long story short, shit happened and the universe, the powers that be, the smurfs…whatever you want to call it gave me a wake up call. Gave me the opportunity to realize that my blog is fine just how it is. That it grew and opportunities flooded in when I was doing what was true to me. It gave me the back up to ask. To take take chances. I asked and took a chance and ended up on http://www.salonmagazine.ca 7 times. I had my tales followed and retweeted by Hollywood and Grammy Award winning stars. I had companies agree to have me write for them, review their products. I made new business contacts that have now become friends. I have been referred by said contacts to give Salons retail consultations to help them build their business.

Over the past few weeks, yours truly has been an asking fool. I didn’t get all I asked for, but I did get a few things. I have an opportunity coming my way – not telling yet! You are going to have to stay tuned, all because I asked a question. I didn’t just put it out there, I put myself out there. I did the work, I followed up, and low and behold, it worked out in my favor.

Here’s the deal. Ask. The answers are there. The answer may not be the one you wanted, in my experience, it’s the one you needed. Don’t ask…Don’t get. Plain and Simple.

 

Beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

…from the inside out

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“Trade expectation for appreciation” – Tony Robbins.

It was Sunday morning. I was sitting on the couch, staring out my window while mindlessly flipping through the channels, pondering my circumstances, when I heard the above quote. I turned away from my window to see Tony Robbins speaking with Oprah, on Super Soul Sunday. This wasn’t the first time Mr. Robbins appeared in my living room. About a month ago, whenever I was on Facebook or twitter it seemed someone was posting about his Netflix documentary “I am not your guru”. So, being me, I had to see what all the hype was about. I grabbed my water and a snack, got comfy on the couch and turned on Netflix. I have to admit, I was a little skeptical. Being 44, I was familiar with Tony Robbins and his motivational workshops and books. I had given them a try in the past, however nothing ever seemed to resonate in me. I would get a spark, but the fire never stayed lit. Until now. There I was, sitting up, leaning towards the television with tears running down my cheek. Did I happen to mention I was 10 minutes in? Maybe it is my age. Maybe it is where I am in my life. Maybe it is because I am more open than I used to be. Whatever the reason, it was beautiful. It was powerful, magical even. It has been 4 weeks since I have watched it, and I think about it at least once a day. It was the first time I felt I actually saw the real Tony Robbins. No bullshit. No politically correct rhetoric. It was the most refreshing moment I had seen and heard in a long while, and it was exactly what the Dr. ordered.

 

For those who follow my blog, you know that the shop/Salon I manage is closing at the end of the month. The past few weeks have been trying to say the least. Every customer that comes through the door has the same questions “You’re closing?”, “This is so unfair! What am I going to do?”, “Where will I get my product now?”, “What are you going to do now?”, “Guess you are shit out of luck with no job huh?” and countless other negative comments and inquiries. After 3 weeks of repeating myself, smiling, being courteous, I have to admit, their opinions and statements were beginning to sink in and were setting up shop in my mind. I was starting to expect the worst, which is not my style.

Fast forward to this past weekend. Just as yours truly was allowing the “what if’s” to make their way into my mind and allowing fear to control what I expected my plans to turn out like, what do I hear at the exact moment I was getting all stressed about my expectations but Mr. Robbins himself stating “trade expectation for appreciation.”. …okay there universe…I get it. I feel the nudge. So, that is exactly what I did. Yes, it was weird at first. Yes, I had to really concentrate on appreciating. Yes, I felt a little foolish. Then I realized it felt weird and foolish because I was thinking of what others would say or think instead of thinking of what I think and what I want to say. Then I remembered a quote I came across months ago “I used to care about people’s opinions until I tried to pay my bills with them”, enough said.

What is happening in your life does not define you. It only defines you if you let it. Plain and Simple.

 

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

What are you going to do?

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The shop is closing. The signs are on the windows. The stock is marked down to clear. Customers and clients are walking in with surprise, wondering what is happening. Shelves are clearing and being removed from the sales floor, so I can see why people may feel worry or concern. “Where will I get my products?”, “What the hell?!”, “Why is this happening?!” are many of the questions asked, usually with a pout, sometimes with a shout. Yes, a shout – those are always a good time. After I explain that the owner has decided to close I get the all too popular question “What are you going to do?”… a question posed to yours truly at least 30 times a day for the past 14 days. Before I get a chance to answer, more often than not, I hear “Guess you’re out of job huh?”, “All you can do is this, so now what are you going to do?” or my all time favorite “Wow. Sure wouldn’t want to be you right now.”.

I get it. For most, their workplace closing it’s doors would be devastating. It’s a scary thing, the unknown. Household budgets are affected, vacations put on hold, major purchases moved to the back burner once more. Good thing for me that I choose to see it as an invitation to a party that I have always wanted to attend. Funny thing – when I explain this to the women I speak with, many of them say “Oh, I see. You don’t have to work.”. Hmmm. Interesting. To be clear, I do need to work, to contribute to my home and my family. Most importantly, to contribute to myself. Since the news of the shop’s closure, I have found the last piece of my confidence that was hiding on me – a sneaky little sucker that kept eluding me. I am once again thinking outside the box, a place I am most comfortable. I have faced fears and have done things I thought I never could do. Like what you ask? Driving to Toronto. Yes. I was afraid of driving into Toronto. I admit it. I feel no shame. Guess what? I slayed that dragon last week. As my hubby told me “You didn’t just drive to Toronto, you drove into the heart of the dragon!”. Thanks to my trusty Nav. system, the support of my loved ones and choosing to listen to the “you can!” instead of the “you can’t!” record playing in my mind, I did it. …and am going to do it again, and again and again.

For those of you reading my tale today that may be in the same boat as yours truly, or facing a major life change and are standing at the crossroads, I am here to tell you that no matter what, everything will be fine. Sooner or later, it all works out. Do what it is you have always wanted to do. Do the work. Be consistent. Be present. Do what you have to do until you get to do what you want to do. I am also here to tell you to stop listening to the negative nellies out there. Refuse to let their nasty remarks enter into your mind, let them roll off your back. Let their fears be their own, do not let their fears become yours. What people say to you says more about them than it does about you. Plain and simple.

For those familiar with my tales, you know that I know that I am not “just” a girl standing in a shop. I am not “just” the manager. I am not “just” anything. Neither are you. Remember that. …and this gem from Mr. Anthony Robbins,