Beauty, Business, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women

…don’t ask…don’t get

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As of late, many of those that I hold dear are feeling inadequate, feeling like they are missing out on something, wondering “is this all there is?”. Between loss of their job, their business closing, their marriage ripping at the seams, their kids struggling to find answers to questions they don’t even know how to ask, you name it, the struggle is real.

For those of you who follow my tales, you are all familiar with my past and present struggles. For those of you checking yours truly out for the first time, let me shine some light for y’all. I have been the girl who felt like she didn’t fit in. I have been the new wife wondering what my role was to be. I have been (and still am) the Mom wondering if I am screwing up my kid. I have been the woman who couldn’t look at her own reflection. I have been the woman who hated her hair and her body. I have been the woman who lost her job because of a store closure. I have been the wife of a husband with health issues. I have been the daughter of parents with health issues. I have been the sister of a wonderful gal who’s life was turned upside down. I have been the woman who found herself thinking on more than one occasion “now what the hell am I gonna do?”. I am here to tell you that no matter how dark the day may seem or how overwhelming life can get, sooner or later, the light begins to shine and you will once again feel in control. You will. Seriously, you will. You want to know how? Ask. Plain and simple. Ask for help. Ask for advice. Ask your business contacts if they know of any opportunities. Ask for a glass of Chardonnay if you need, just ask.

I know. I know. You’ve heard this before. Tony Robbins makes you walk on hot coals. The Secret tells you to put it “out there.”. Vision boards are all the craze. Everywhere you turn someone is telling you or pushing a Pinterest post in your face or sending a kitten meme telling you “when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!”. I for one believe that the mind and your perspective have a HUGE impact on your life’s outcome – here’s the little nugget that seems to get lost in translation – you gotta ask and you gotta do the work. You gotta. Walking on hot coals may remove something from your bucket list, if you don’t follow through with the tools bestowed on you, you will just have sore feet. Putting your desires “out there” is a fantastic idea, if you don’t put your plan into action, the universe will deliver to the wrong address. Creating a vision board is fantastic, I have one of my own. If you just look at it all day without speaking to anyone or leaving the couch, it’s just going to be something you made and look at.

We cannot control everything. We may not be able to reverse a health issue for a loved one or stop a toddler from throwing a fit in the parking lot. One thing I know for certain is, although we cannot control our job status/career, we can damn well have a say in it. The point of today’s tale is to give you the proof you need that if you don’t ask, you don’t get. In the big scheme of things, my accomplishments may seem tiny, to me, they are huge. I have been blogging over 6 year now. The last year I did not write as much as I wanted to. I thought my blog should change – I was listening to fear…big mistake…huge. (Pretty Woman reference…love the movie). After the shop closed, instead of asking myself what I should do, I let people tell me what I should do. Not their fault, that’s on me. Long story short, shit happened and the universe, the powers that be, the smurfs…whatever you want to call it gave me a wake up call. Gave me the opportunity to realize that my blog is fine just how it is. That it grew and opportunities flooded in when I was doing what was true to me. It gave me the back up to ask. To take take chances. I asked and took a chance and ended up on http://www.salonmagazine.ca 7 times. I had my tales followed and retweeted by Hollywood and Grammy Award winning stars. I had companies agree to have me write for them, review their products. I made new business contacts that have now become friends. I have been referred by said contacts to give Salons retail consultations to help them build their business.

Over the past few weeks, yours truly has been an asking fool. I didn’t get all I asked for, but I did get a few things. I have an opportunity coming my way – not telling yet! You are going to have to stay tuned, all because I asked a question. I didn’t just put it out there, I put myself out there. I did the work, I followed up, and low and behold, it worked out in my favor.

Here’s the deal. Ask. The answers are there. The answer may not be the one you wanted, in my experience, it’s the one you needed. Don’t ask…Don’t get. Plain and Simple.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

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It has been over a week since my last post. As you know, I am a manager of a glorious salon/shop, a mother of a girl on the verge of 16, a wife, a blogger (hey I missed a week…ease up), and a gal who is slowly but surely embarking on yet another path – retail/salon consultant….oh, and I love to bake tasty treats. Some people see that as busy or over loaded, I see it as life, my life. The past week has been overloaded. I am not getting into details because quite honestly, what’s done is done and there is nothing I can do to change it, I can just deal with the here and now. Nope…you can keep asking…not gonna get into it.

I realized this morning as I told my hairspray to “screw off” because it wasn’t spraying properly, that I had to take a step back and take a moment for me. A moment that didn’t include cooking, cleaning or looking after anyone else. I have written of this before and will continue to write about it, as women, we forget about ourselves. We put everyone else first, put ourselves last and then blame everyone else. Yeah, I said it. You know it’s true. Think about it…how many times have you looked at the kitchen floor at the end of the day and thought “I am the ONLY one who will sweep this floor!”, you don’t ask for someone else to help, you sweep the floor and then proceed to tell everyone in your household “Nothing” when they ask what is the matter. Then your poor hubby asks if you picked up the dry cleaning and you answer with a sarcastic tone, an argument ensues, you end up crying with mascara running down your face and snot hanging from your nose stammering out “I…never…get…any…help!” as your family waits for your head to spin around. Trust me, in the past (month)I have been that woman and am trying with all my might to not be her. It isn’t fair to your family. Most importantly, it isn’t fair to you. To save your family and yourself some grief and to save a call to your local Archdiocese, check out the following little list;

 

– If you want to go out for dinner – tell your hubby that you want to out for dinner. He is not Timmy and you are not Lassie “what’s that girl? You want to go out for dinner?”

– If you want to change your hair color to a certain shade of red, tell your stylist. Bring a picture of the exact color you want. Sitting in their chair hoping they remember the shade of the red M&M but a little deeper red ain’t gonna cut it.

– If you are not happy with the cut your stylist is giving you, tell them. If you sit there and smile and say you love it, they are going to keep giving you the same style. I am all for positive thinking but sitting in the chair and using “the Secret” to attract the style you want won’t work. It won’t.

– If you want to go out with your girlfriend for coffee, call her up and ask. Sitting around complaining that no one ever calls you makes you, well 13 years old.

– If you need help around the house, ask for it. Chanting “Cinderella, Cinderella…all day long it’s Cinderella” may not insure aid.

– If you want your gent to bring you flowers, tell him. NICELY. Having Diamond & Streisand playing “you don’t bring me flowers” on repeat every time he crosses the threshold is a little over the top.

No one can help you if you don’t tell them you need help. No one knows what you need unless you tell them what you need. A baby will cry at everything you give them until you give them the thing they want for Christ’s sake, so I think you can ask for someone to sweep the floor. Home and family should be one of the most beautiful things in your life, why ugly it up with shoulda’s, coulda’s and woulda’s?

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Different but the same

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Over the past few days I have had many salon tales come into my mind. So many tales to tell but how do I choose which one? I began this blog with the soul purpose of educating and enlightening the masses about the world of beauty and professional hair care products with easy to follow tips and opening doors that seemed to be locked and letting you join the club. I also wanted to wake up stylists and salon owners from their nightmare of what they thought was good customer service.

My primary goal is and will always be the same, to educate and enlighten. Over the past few months my tales have begun to travel down different roads, from customer service to product knowledge to how to be kind, not just at the Salon but where ever one may roam. You see, I am finding more and more, everyday, that beauty isn’t just the visual. It’s the emotional, the physical and the spiritual….maybe it’s because it is Sunday and I am missing my grandmother…who knows. Yeah, yeah…I know…you’ve watched Oprah and read “The Secret” so this isn’t news to you…or is it? Funny thing is, most Oprah and Secret die hards that have a library of all the #1 New York Times best sellers about self help and self love and loving your fellow man are the same people who mock their teenage daughter’s in public about their oily scalp and acne prone skin, or call their sons “tinkerbell” because he wants his hair style done just so and can’t live without KMS Molding Paste. Don’t get me wrong, I slip up all the time, did it last week when my daughter and I were out and I exclaimed and pointed at a sale item (I love a good deal). The item was Always overnight pads. Oops. I apologized on the spot. I am sure there is a doll with a pin in it in her room somewhere.

Being me, I have to clarify. Drives my husband CRAZY. I wanted to let you all know that I will always give you the newest product knowledge and information I get my hands on. I will give the tips you need for a great cut or Salon experience. I promise to continue with tales of my daily adventures in the Salon and all the tales of flying flat irons and mumblers and screamers. I will also keep telling the tales of kindness, the tales of inner and outer beauty. There is so much beauty around us, from the sound of our children giggling to the sound of our loved one sleeping beside us, the way the sun casts a shadow, the way the wind feels blowing through your hair while driving, the beauty of seeing someone, really seeing them and raising them up from such a simple act.

Want to change your perspective? Want to be more kind and stop being an ass? Just like being an ass, kindness is practiced. It takes effort, an effort with a great reward. You cannot just say you are going to be kind and then it happens. That’s like saying you are Jewish just because you attended a Bar Mitzvah.

What ever you put in, you get out. Plain and simple.