Full Moon Monthly

For those of you familiar with my blog, you are well aware of my “Tales of Truth” series. As I was going through my archives I realized most of my Tales of Truth moments went hand in hand with the arrival of the full moon. So gather ’round ladies and gents, boys and girls and welcome to the first of many installments of Full Moon Monthly, brought to you by none other than That girl in the red coat. (as stated before…these are based on ACTUAL events. I have witnesses)

I hear the chirp of the shop’s door. I smile and greet the customer “Good Morning!”. She  looks around and says “Are you talking to me?”. I let her know, yes, I am talking to her. She stares. So I ask “Can I help you find something?”. “Yes, I am looking for a Shampoo that I can buy where I live, I don’t always want to drive into town.”. So I ask her where does she live and she tells me “I don’t tell people my personal information.”. …wait for it….there you go.

A woman came into the shop looking for the mousse her stylist just used. I asked her if she remembered the name of the product. She told me “No! Why would I remember the name of a product that I thought was horrible and smelled bad.”. So I asked her if she wanted me to show her some other mousses she may like and she said “No, I want the one my stylist used, if I go to her smelling like another product I might hurt her feelings.”.

There I was, innocently counting the nail polishes for an inventory count when a woman comes into the shop. “Hello” I say, to which she responds “I used to use these polishes until my niece quit beauty school and got ’em cheap for me. She is useless and spoiled rotten.”. …okay then. So I ask her “Can I help you find something?” to which she says “Yeah, tell me what will help me with my hair, since my husband left me 20 years ago and it gave me the cancer of the Uterus and the lying Doctor’s told me that my ovaries would keep the menopause away my hair just ain’t the same.”. As I went to show her some products she looked at me and said “I don’t have time for this, I gotta go catch the bus.Thanks for the lovely chat and I will be back!”. – cue Twilight Zone theme

From time to time, we are out of stock of a product, sometimes because of back orders, sometimes because the product is an awesome product and sells well. I know empty spots on the shelves are a no no, but they happen. I was told by a customer, three times in a row that it was pathetic that her product wasn’t there. (well, in the size of bottle she preferred). I explained about the back orders ( the distributor moved warehouses hence back orders for a few weeks). I offered to call her as soon as the product came in. She asked if I knew when the product would arrive. I explained that I didn’t know, that the warehouse would send them as soon as they get them, to which she again said “pathetic”. I told her I was just as frustrated as her, that I didn’t have the product for my clients and customers, but that it wasn’t pathetic.(I know – let sleeping dogs lie…I don’t always follow my own advice). As I rang through her purchase, I let her know our debit connection was slow, to which she smirked and said “I was going to say something but I won’t”. So, me being me, I asked her what it was she wanted to say. “I was going to say “you are used to waiting for things but that would be pathetic…or maybe you would be pathetic about it.”. Well played…gotta give her that…it’s all she’s got.

A customer asks “What shampoo smells the best?”. I let her know she is welcome to open up the bottles and smell them, because what I like she may not. “Pfft…you are a lazy sales person aren’t ya?”. Okay…here we go. I smile, tell her to follow me and show her our best seller, open up the lid and she smells it and exclaims “Why did you show me that?!? It stinks. Show me something I will like the smell of.”. As politely as possible I explained I don’t have the same sense of smell as her and maybe it would be best if she took a moment to smell some of the shampoo’s. She looks at me and says “Okay, why didn’t you say that it the first place?”. …sigh.

“Have you found Jesus?” – something I am asked quite often. One of these believers in urgent need of saving my soul left me a coin with a “version” of the Ten Commandments on it. The coin worried me a little…it was silver. I think she had five more.   ….wait for it….there you go.

A woman comes in the store, sees me and says “HEY! Haven’t seen you in forever!”. I look at her and don’t recognize her. “I’m sorry, have we met?” I say. “Come on! You know me! Come on! Come on! Come On! You remember!”. I stand there, cannot place her face for the life of me. “Come on! You know me! I know you Susie!”. I let her know I am Sara. “Well you look like Susie! Come on! You know you do!”.

I am starting to think that people are coming into the shop in hope that I will write about them.  For the love of god, I hope so.

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