Beauty, health and wellness, Women

Sticks and Stones

We all know the childhood chant “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me.”. Oh, how I wish that were true. There has been many a moment I would have taken a blow to the gut rather than an unkind or untrue phrase spoken. Physical bruises heal. Emotional ones, when it comes to healing, those suckers move at a turtles pace. I am 46 years old and there are still some words I cannot erase from my mind.

We’ve all heard them, I am sorry to say. We’ve been called a liar, useless, fat, ugly…you name it, at some point in our lives, someone has uttered these words to us, and sadly, we have uttered them to ourselves. What I find the most heartbreaking is when we let someone else’s words begin to define us. I admit, I have fallen victim to this, in the past and even in the present. I was beginning to listen to the shouts of self doubt that were unfortunately being boosted up by the words of others. Then one night, after a shit show of a day, I sat down in bed and looked over at a journal I had been given years ago. It’s Tiffany blue and embossed in gold were the words “be happy”. I reached over, cracked it open and began to write. I wrote how I feeling, what I was thinking. After, I felt better. My feelings were still hurt, I was still confused about what to do, but I felt better. The next night before bed, I wrote again. I have continued to do so each night. That’s the wonderful thing about writing in a journal, you get the questions out of your head and sooner or later, answers appear.

When I was younger, I heard my mother say something to a friend of hers that was going through a difficult separation “we hate in others what we hate in ourselves.”. I found myself writing that phrase in my journal. I also remember as a child being told “when you point a finger, there are three pointing back at you.”. While writing last night, I finally got it. I stepped outside of myself and took a good, hard look at the lives of those around me who haven’t been the nicest as of late. They are all going through something. Be it trouble at work, trouble with family, battling some inner demon, even battling addiction. I came to realize that when they were pointing the finger at me, they were also pointing it at themselves. To be clear, there is no excuse for hurtful words or actions. What I am saying is trying to understand where they are coming from may bring you some peace. I am well aware that I am not a saint. I have had my moments that I took the low road and went for the jugular. Over the years I have made a commitment to myself not to behave that way. I do my best to listen and understand. I will take whatever is coming to me, if I deserve it.

We all get angry. We all get down on ourselves. We all get frustrated with life, family, work, you name it. I think we should all be allowed to feel whatever we are feeling. I do not believe we should be allowed to be mean about it. There is no reason for that, there is no honor to yourself or the other person. Saying hurtful things for the sake of argument is childish. Plain and simple. I have come to feel sorry for those who have been hurtful for hurtful’s sake. In the wee small hours of the morning, for the rest of their lives, they will have to live with the fact that they purposefully hurt someone they love. That is something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

There is always a chance for kindness. As hard as it may be to do, we can stop saying something hurtful before we start. We can take a breath. When you feel like lashing out, take a moment to remember what you would do if you heard another person speaking this way. If you wouldn’t allow another person to speak in a hurtful way in your presence, maybe you shouldn’t either.

 

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness

Monday Motivator

It’s the first Monday of 2019. The holidays are officially over. The kids are back in school. For those of us in retail, holiday hours have come to and end. Our schedules are no longer filled with office Christmas parties and Holiday open houses. Life, for the most part, is getting back to normal, back to the daily grind.

All our Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram feeds are filled with “New Year! New Me!” quotes and memes. Many a fine lady and gentleman are seeking something new, be it a diet plan, a fitness regime, and as always, a new hair style. I began this blog, 6 years ago, to educate the masses about their hair. Which products to use, which products were for specific hair types and most importantly, how to use them. From pomades to flat irons, I tried to cover all the bases and answer any and all questions. As I sat down with my trusty laptop with my coffee in hand, I decided today would be a great day to go through my archives and share my what’s what of hair products, styling tools, etc. . Knowledge is power my friends, and with the proper tools and know how, the one thing you will be sure of is your hair. With all the happenings in the world today, it may seem silly and trivial to be worried about your hair. The way I see it, if you feel good about yourself, when you like your reflection and feel confident in yourself, you tend not to worry about the little things like split ends and are more aware of what is going on around you… it gets you out of your own way. So without further adieu here are a few articles to help you have a better understanding of your hair, your hair products and maybe, just maybe, a better understanding of yourself.

 

Thinking of an at home color experience?

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/07/17/proceed-with-caution/

 

All flat irons are not meant for all hair types…

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/07/11/would-a-flat-iron-by-any-other-name-still-be-as-good/

 

Before you pick up your favorite shampoo at the discount store…

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2013/01/15/divert-your-attention/

 

A what’s what of hair products 

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2013/10/27/what-does-this-do/

 

AC/DC isn’t just a band…not all blow dryers are created equal 

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2013/03/18/blow-out/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat

Monday Motivator

Happy Monday Beauties! Here we are once again. I don’t know about you, but every so often, yours truly looks at her reflection on a Monday morning and I look a little worse for wear. Be it from lack of sleep, not enough water over the weekend, too much chardonnay, you name it, my skin looks a little dull. Then, a few weeks ago my lovely friend asked me if I would try one of the makeup products she represents. I winced a little for I have sensitive skin and am a creature of habit where my makeup regime is concerned. I have had many an experience with bumps the size of strawberries all over my face from trying new products. Since this is my 46th year in this earthly realm and my birthday promise to myself was to get over myself and give things a chance, I told her “give me what you got”. …and let me tell you, once again, this Girl in the Red Coat was presently surprised. Let me introduce you to Arbonne’s Makeup Primer.

               

This little gem from Arbonne packs a punch! Arbonne’s Makeup Primer diminishes the look of fine lines and pores. I found it diminished the appearance of the dark spots on my face ….thank you baby oil suntanning sessions of the ’80’s – I should have listened to my mother. I wore it for two days, not a bump in sight, no itching, nada! It has a lightweight, moisturizing formula that allows your makeup to stay in place longer throughout your day. You know what I’m talking about ladies…once that temperature rises on a hot summers day, our makeup runs down our face – not with this gem.

Arbonne Makeup Primer;

  • Certified Gluten Free
  • Dermatologist tested
  • Ophthalmologist tested
  • Contains green tea leaf extract and horsetail extract = conditions your skin
  • Contains grape seed oil = smoother skin with balanced moisture
  • The hyaluronic spheres, iron oxides and mica within the formula helps to prime your skin to create a soft focus effect = you look like your favorite Instagram filter

So, take it from this gal, if you are looking to brighten your day and your face and keep your perfect cat eye in place, you are gonna love the Arbonne Makeup Primer.

Beauty, Business, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women

Monday Motivator

It’s Monday. The sun is shining on my part of the globe. The birds are chirping, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee is in the air and my bed head game is stronger than ever this morning. Some mornings I don’t need coffee, just catching my reflection and seeing the state of my hair jolts me awake.

As I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and checking on my notifications, one commonality I found was no one was happy that Monday had arrived. I may not be able to write you a doctor’s note to excuse you from school, nor am I able to mimic your child’s voice calling you at work telling you I am sick and you need to come home. What I can do is offer you a solution to make your Monday a little more enjoyable. Yours truly has decided to bring back the “Monday Motivator” segments. Every Monday I will give you tips and tricks of FAB! products to make every Monday a little less melancholy. As we all know, a good hair day equals a good day, plain and simple. …you know it, I know it.

This Monday Motivator is brought to you by yours truly and Joico! Meet one of my all time FAB! favorites….Joico JoiWhip!

You may remember this gem as IceWhip. …back in the day, before the name change….oh the 80’s early 90’s. This has been a go to of mine for over 20 years, whether I had a perm or a pixie, blonde or brunette. JoiWhip is a lightweight yet potent mousse. A little goes a long way Beauties. Joiwhip is a firm hold mousse (level 7 out of 10 on hold factor scale) but don’t let the “firm hold” scare you. It is not sticky, it will not flake or leave that residue feeling on your hair. Thanks to Kukui Nut and Evening Primrose Oil, essential fatty acids that provide moisture and protection, JoiWhip will not leave your hair looking or feeling dry. Created for all hair types, it truly is fine, limp hair’s bff.

Always give the can a good shake, upside down as you do with whipping cream. Keep the can upside down as you dispense the desired amount *TIP! a little goes a long way!. Apply to damp hair, then blow dry & style. *TIP! for my girls with curls – air dry or use a diffuser depending on desired curl effect and style.

My Monday wish for you…. May your coffee be strong, your Monday be short and your hair be FABULOUS!

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Share and share alike

Everywhere you look, people are sharing. Sharing “likes” on Facebook, sharing pics on Instagram, tweeting their latest opinion on Twitter, snapping a moment on Snapchat. I often find myself wondering, what is real and what is not. Over the past weeks, you may have noticed that yours truly hadn’t been sharing much on my blog. It wasn’t for lack of material or opinions…as those who know me know all too well, when it comes to opinions I have a deep well to draw from. The reason for my lack of sharing you ask? My life and the lives of those I hold dear needed some attention, some tending to if you will. I also needed some tending to. I realized I had to take a step back and take a good look at what I was doing, where I was going and where I wanted to go. Now, before you all start to create scenario’s in your head to spill at the watercooler, let me make things clear. No one is ill. No one is leaving anyone. No one has been arrested. I came to realize that the powers that be that directed me onto this road after the closure of the shop had given me a gift. That gift being time.

I used to have time. I used to make time. I stayed home with my daughter until she was 5. Back then I would make time for me. I would make time for chats with my hubby, walks, coffee with friends, well, for life, plain and simple. I would make time for me so I could enjoy the time with my daughter, so I could enjoy the multitude of questions posed by a toddler – 100 before 7:00a.m. ( I counted one day – hey it was educational…I taught my daughter to count to 100 didn’t I?). Over the past weeks, I realized that I hadn’t made time since my daughter crossed the threshold into her kindergarten class. I went right back to work, full force. Always moving on to the next thing, finding the next idea. Over coming financial struggles, dealing with plant closures and lay offs, taking any amount of hours given so we could keep our home. Those days are long gone, but the memory of them still reside. I had put myself in survivor mode and forgotten to change the record. I had become so focused on working and keeping my house, paying off debts and having money in the bank that I hadn’t realized that I still had my house, the majority of the debt is paid off and there is money in the bank.

I realized something last week. I am always telling the women I know to make time for themselves. I thought I was. It wasn’t until last night as I was painting my nails that I realized this was the first time in along time I was painting my nails, for me. Not for an Instagram shot, not for work. For me. On the weekend, I was having a really good hair day, so I took a selfie. For me. Yes, I put it on Instagram, but I put it up there for me. If no one had liked it, I would have been fine with it. People liking it was a perk. I did it for me. I have adored photo’s since I was a child. I could and can sit and look at photo’s for hours. I wanted that picture because whenever I look at it, I remember how I felt and remembering happiness is a good thing.

The moral of today’s tale? If you are going to share your moments, your opinions, your snaps and your chats, make them worth remembering, for you. Create moments worth sharing. Do not create moments just so you can share them. Plain and simple.

Beauty, Business, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat

The Key to Damage Repair

At one time or another, we have been there. Standing in the bathroom, looking down at our hairbrush, then slowly moving forward to face our reflection in the mirror as we wince at the state of our hair. We see little hairs popping out of our head, our ends are starting to resemble the shag bathmat that we stand upon. In our minds eye we start to wonder if we could pull off a pixie cut.

At some point or another, we have all damaged our hair. Too many late night flat ironing sessions. One too many back to back color processes. Thinking an at home perm was a great idea. Whichever the culprit, there is a remedy for what ails your beloved tresses. Let me introduce you to Saryna Key’s Damage Repair Pure African Shea Oil.

SarynaKey Damage Repair Oil Just one of the wonders from the Damage Repair line.

Saryna Key’s Damage Repair oil contains the largest concentration of Shea Butter – a natural source of keratin, that works to bring damaged hair back to life. Any type of damaged hair, chemically damaged (over processed) and damage caused by thermal styling tools will begin to look and feel healthier and softer after the first application. This gem also contains vitamins and amino acids that penetrate into the hair’s cuticle, from root to end, restoring and nourishing the hair.

It’s fast absorbing, lightweight formula means that it can be applied to the finest of strands to the thickest of tresses;

  • Can be applied to clean, damp hair before styling products and blowdrying. *Usually 1-3 pumps will suffice.
  • Can be applied to dry hair, after styling to eliminate the look of split ends and/or flyaways. *I suggest 1 pump, emulsify in your hands, light spread at the root to eliminate pesky flyaways, then work your way down your hair to the ends for a smooth, soft and shiny finished look.

Saryna Key offers a complete Damage Repair line, from Shampoo to weekly treatment. I have personally used this line and let me tell you, coming from a not so natural blonde, it is a life saver, or hair saver for that matter. Saryna Key’s products are paraben free, phosphate free and sulfate free. It is a cruelty free line = they do not hurt little bunnies and their bottles are 100% recyclable.

Damaged hair repaired. No animal testing. Saving the planet. Smiling and flipping your hair at every mirror you come across…what more could a girl ask for?

 

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

Reflections of reality

Today’s tale is for all those who are struggling, be it with your finances, your boss, your significant other, your hair or lack there of. Most importantly, for those who are struggling with yourself. If there is one thing you take from today’s tale and keep it in your pocket, it is this – you are not alone and it will get better. Everyone, I mean everyone is struggling with something or someone. Everyone.

Over the past months many of those that I hold dear, clients, friends and family alike have been facing struggles. Struggles with their friends, their loved ones and with themselves. One commonality they all seem to be facing? Judgement and ridicule, and that in itself is the worst part of the struggle. Opening up about your life or asking for help is the most difficult thing to do because of the fear of not being taken seriously. The voice of self doubt can be deafening. Judging someone on what you deem to be a lack of “being able to deal” is cruel, plain and simple. This is their journey, not yours. You see the world one way, they see it another. Here’s the deal, it is their reality, it is real to them, and needs to be honored as such. It is also their story to tell, not yours. Gossip is tacky, and ugly. Nothing good ever comes from it. Ever.

We have all struggled with reflection. For those familiar with my Salon Tales, you are well aware of my past self image issues. The difficulty with dealing with your reflection is that we aren’t just dealing with our reflections in the mirror. We are dealing with the reflections in our mind….and those nasty bastards can be hard to keep quiet. We all have the shoulda, coulda, woulda scenario’s playing and replaying in our minds -and there is nothing worse than when a friend or loved ones points them out for now our reflection has become reality.

To those who are reading this who have been the victim of judgement and ridicule, it’s time to turn those experiences around. Do not feel weak that you opened up. Be proud of yourself, feel heroic even, for you had the courage to open up, to let others know about those things that people don’t talk about at parties. Showing a weakness takes strength. Try not to judge those who judge you – calm down, I’m not gonna bring in J.C. and try to save your soul – I’m saying try not to judge them because 1) why waste your energy on someone who isn’t wasting theirs on you and 2) they need your sympathy and your empathy for they are feeling the same way you do, they just aren’t able to talk about it.

Everyone, I mean everyone at some point has; hated their hair, thought they were ugly, thought they were stupid, felt fat, felt alone, felt inadequate, lost attraction in their spouse, feared their spouse was no longer attracted to them, felt like a bad parent because they needed their child to just shut up for a minute, felt they were a bad friend because they wanted to put their own needs above another’s…the list is endless.

My hope for all who read this today is that you find some peace today, be it for a minute, an hour or more. May  serenity finds it’s way to your door. May the reflections of your reality begin to bring hope, light and love.