Beauty, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

Reflections of reality

Today’s tale is for all those who are struggling, be it with your finances, your boss, your significant other, your hair or lack there of. Most importantly, for those who are struggling with yourself. If there is one thing you take from today’s tale and keep it in your pocket, it is this – you are not alone and it will get better. Everyone, I mean everyone is struggling with something or someone. Everyone.

Over the past months many of those that I hold dear, clients, friends and family alike have been facing struggles. Struggles with their friends, their loved ones and with themselves. One commonality they all seem to be facing? Judgement and ridicule, and that in itself is the worst part of the struggle. Opening up about your life or asking for help is the most difficult thing to do because of the fear of not being taken seriously. The voice of self doubt can be deafening. Judging someone on what you deem to be a lack of “being able to deal” is cruel, plain and simple. This is their journey, not yours. You see the world one way, they see it another. Here’s the deal, it is their reality, it is real to them, and needs to be honored as such. It is also their story to tell, not yours. Gossip is tacky, and ugly. Nothing good ever comes from it. Ever.

We have all struggled with reflection. For those familiar with my Salon Tales, you are well aware of my past self image issues. The difficulty with dealing with your reflection is that we aren’t just dealing with our reflections in the mirror. We are dealing with the reflections in our mind….and those nasty bastards can be hard to keep quiet. We all have the shoulda, coulda, woulda scenario’s playing and replaying in our minds -and there is nothing worse than when a friend or loved ones points them out for now our reflection has become reality.

To those who are reading this who have been the victim of judgement and ridicule, it’s time to turn those experiences around. Do not feel weak that you opened up. Be proud of yourself, feel heroic even, for you had the courage to open up, to let others know about those things that people don’t talk about at parties. Showing a weakness takes strength. Try not to judge those who judge you – calm down, I’m not gonna bring in J.C. and try to save your soul – I’m saying try not to judge them because 1) why waste your energy on someone who isn’t wasting theirs on you and 2) they need your sympathy and your empathy for they are feeling the same way you do, they just aren’t able to talk about it.

Everyone, I mean everyone at some point has; hated their hair, thought they were ugly, thought they were stupid, felt fat, felt alone, felt inadequate, lost attraction in their spouse, feared their spouse was no longer attracted to them, felt like a bad parent because they needed their child to just shut up for a minute, felt they were a bad friend because they wanted to put their own needs above another’s…the list is endless.

My hope for all who read this today is that you find some peace today, be it for a minute, an hour or more. May  serenity finds it’s way to your door. May the reflections of your reality begin to bring hope, light and love.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Wishes for a Happy New Year…and for years to come

So here it is, New Years Eve 2013 and I am calm. I am hopeful. I am…content.

In past years, this day was either filled with anxiety over not having plans or having too many plans, freaking out that my dress was too tight, hating my hair or my mind was filled with shoulda’s, coulda’s and woulda’s. This year…not so much. For the first time in I don’t know how long, a New Year approaching doesn’t seem as daunting. You see, I finally got it. I finally became accountable for myself and my actions. I finally admitted my shortcomings and moments of malcontent were down to me. Yep. Me. …trust me, ask my hubby or anyone who knows me for that matter…this was not an easy thing for me to admit. I had been known in the past to blame retailers and  Mother Nature herself for my ass not fitting into my jeans…between the store not having the exact shade of grey yoga pants I so desired that would match the treadmill and well… with the cold winds and rain I couldn’t go outside for a walk. …oh come on, like you haven’t blamed the Keebler Elves for your pant size. Back to the tale at hand.

I have a glorious truth to share…once you stop blaming others for your unhappiness and malcontent, let go of your fear and take your emotions, decisions and dreams into your own hands, great things begin to happen. They do. Take a look at yours truly.(well, it is my blog, so yeah, I’m gonna talk about me once and a while.). I took a leap of faith and let go of my fears and put that energy into believing in myself and within 18 months I have the blog I dreamed of doing, a twitter following filled with people who inspire me on a daily basis (and are pretty cool), I was invited to attend the Contessa’s.  I am a contributor to http://www.salonmagazine.ca. I am a contributing author to http://www.hairstyle-blog.com and http://www.visual-makeover.com. I am a contributor to http://www.girlbodypride.com. On a daily basis at my shop, I am helping women and men to love their hair, to find the beauty that they thought they lost, or never had. I am helping Salon owners and stylists improve their customer service skills and helping them to realize that retail is a vital part of their Salon’s experience. I no longer hold back my confidence in myself, or hold back my knowledge of product or service. *the biggest perk…since I am happier, so are my loved ones.

Hence today’s New Year’s wish for you. May the coming days and the coming years bring you peace. May serenity find its way to your door and into your hearts. May you find the courage to attempt what ever it is you want to do – from opening up your own Salon to finally being able to quit smoking. May you find the confidence to ask for that raise or to tell that special someone that you love them, or to be able to let your loved one know that they need help and that you will have their back. May you begin to find the beauty that is in your life, right now.

Wishing you a Happy New Year

With Love and Gratitude,

That girl in the red coat