When my daughter was younger…(I say when she was younger – not little – little makes her sound like she was a Polly Pocket. Also, my family is vertically challenged so “little” has a wee bit of a sting), one of the Christmas songs she would sing (a lot) was “Santa Claus is Comin’ to town”. As you know, I manage a retail shop/Salon and it is the Christmas season. It seems many people have forgotten that “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.”.

– The phone rings. “Good After…” is all I got out. “Yeah Hi, where the hell is your store?” is what I hear. I give the shops location and am blessed with the response “Why couldn’t I find it in the phone book?!” and then they hung up….fa la la la la, la, la, la, la.

– We have a Christmas tree up in our Salon. It is a nice tree. At least once a day I am asked “Why do you have a tree up in the Salon” as Christmas music is playing in the background.

– A woman came in with jet black hair that she had colored at home with a box dye from the drug store. She had decided she wanted to go blonde, by herself, at home. I told her that wasn’t the best of ideas and told her the complications that may and will arise. She stared at me, flipped what was left of her hair, smacked her gum and said “It’s Christmas and this is what I want. I want to be blonde so let me buy my stuff and keep your opinions to yourself…ok?!?!”. …if she makes it to blonde it truly is a Christmas miracle.

– “You are a liar!” – what is said to me when I tell someone an item is on back order and I don’t know when it is arriving. – People, please, for the last time, I don’t work in the warehouse and am not in charge of  shipping and receiving…and seriously…I am not going to lie about a product being on back order…about your choice of hair color…maybe.

– “Can you give me the model numbers of all the flat irons you sell so I can look up their reviews on line?” – a call I get at least once a week. I sell 15 different models.

– “Will my husband like the smell of Joico shampoo more than Sebastian shampoo?”. When I answer that I don’t know I am always asked “why?”…this is why my jaw line is so firm…forcing back laughter all day keeps the jaw line nice and firm.

– A grown woman pouted and exclaimed “Come on!!! Life is so unfair! Nothing is going my way!”. Her cries of desperation were not because of a job loss or a sick loved one…her hairspray wasn’t available in a travel size and she was leaving for Europe for 3 weeks…the horror.

– “I bought this foot file and I don’t like the way it felt on my feet, I want to return it.”. The answer is no…and eewww.

– At our shop we always hold a monthly draw for a gift of free product. This month we are offering weekly draws along with our monthly draw. I am asked at least 10 times a day “What is the difference between the monthly draw and the weekly draw?”…Santa and the Baby Jesus have their work cut out for them this year.

– “Why do all the holiday packs have pictures of decorations on them?”…I really wish I was makin’ this up…I really do.

– “What does the Peppermint hand lotion smell like?”…oh how I wish I could say “Lemons”.

– “What do you mean I can’t return this comb? I only used it twice?!? I think you and your policy are stupid!!!” – after I explained I cannot re sell a USED comb

Today is Saturday on my side of the world. Saturdays and Christmas shoppers aren’t always the best of blends. Be kind out there. Be patient. I would tell you to think before you speak but I have to admit…some of the stuff we hear helps us make it through the day. Oh yes…although my first “flat iron being thrown at my head” incident was at Christmas time many years ago, it isn’t festive nor is it a tradition I wish to carry forth. So please, do not throw the flat iron.