celebration

My Birthday was this past weekend. Yours Truly is 43. My Birthday was as close to perfect as I had wished. I woke to a Happy Birthday smooch & smile from my beloved before he was off to work. I strolled into my kitchen for my morning brew to find a lovely hand written letter from my girl. I drove over to my parents home and had some morning coffee on the back deck, the sun shining on my shoulders and laughter filled the air. The forecast all week was for rain, yet not a drop fell. During my lovely lunch with my girl I received word from my beloved that he was coming home early. All day loving messages appeared via Facebook and text. We ordered my favorite pizza and caught up on our favorite show with our new found time – stolen time as I like to call it. I sipped my vodka & lemonade, with my feet up. It was a great day.

The next day, I woke up in a funk that I could not shake. I found myself on the verge of tears more than once. I found myself being nit picky over the smallest of things and my mind was not on my side – bringing up moments from the past that are best laid to rest and forgotten. At first I blamed the good ‘ol hormones (may have had the stupid cut out – hysterectomy – but still have the ol’ ovaries). Then, as anyone battling anything, I went through the list of people, places and events that were the true cause of my anguish. Once my mental temper tantrum was over I had a realization. Well, that and calling my hubby to see what wine he wanted with dinner and upon hearing his voice choked up and started to cry. My realization you ask? I have not been taking care of me. I was making time for everyone else. I was worrying about everyone else’s happiness and contentment. I was being the understanding ear for everyone’s issues and problems…and I had reached my fill. My funk and my angst was on me, and me alone. (…anyone who knows me knows how much I love that…). As I sat pouting on my front porch I realized why I had been so happy on my Birthday. On my Birthday I had made myself a priority, done what I wanted, spent my time with the people of my choosing and enjoying the gift of time. I had a funk the next day because I wanted more and deserved more. In short, I was kicking my own ass. Kicking my own ass for knowing better, but not doing better.

The reason for this glimpse into my personal life, you ask? To save you a mental temper tantrum (they’re exhausting and bad for the face) and to save your friends and loved ones wincing wondering when your head may begin to spin around. To remind you and myself that we are just as important as those we make a priority in our lives. A reminder to take a minute and take a breath. A reminder that cleaning and washing can wait until tomorrow. A reminder that no amount of dusting and polishing your living room can clean a tarnished spirit. A reminder that understanding the plights of others is a good thing, as long as you don’t begin to misunderstand yourself in the process. A reminder that although the truth may not always be pretty, there is nothing uglier than a lie and not being true to yourself is the biggest lie of all.

Take a moment for yourself when you can. Do what makes you happy. Celebrate yourself, everyday. Plain and simple.

Surround yourself with beautiful things. We have all heard it, read about it in magazines…bring fresh flowers into the room, paint the walls your favorite color, buy a great smelling shampoo, treat yourself to a great conditioning treatment, burn a scented candle, plant a tree. Yes, these are wonderful ideas. I have another idea for you. How about surrounding yourself with beautiful people. I’m not talking about Cindy Crawford and Brad Pitt (although he would be fun to look at while he served me lemonade). I’m talking about people that have more to offer to a conversation than “Can you believe Snooki went to the bar while pregnant?!” (no offense intended Snook).

This evening, thanks to a dear friend, I was invited to help celebrate a new found friend’s birthday. As I sat there, the laughter warming me more than the sun, I realized I was surrounded by beauty. Every woman at that table had a story to tell, every woman at that table was excited for one another’s achievements. Not a sour face was made nor a hurtful word uttered. Some of us were meeting face to face for the first time yet it felt we had known each other for ages. We were there to celebrate our friend, and in turn celebrated each other.

Life is short. Pardon my french…shit happens. Life gets in the way more often than not. It is time to surround yourself not just with beautiful things, but with beautiful people. People that see you – not just look at you. People that listen to you – not just hear you. We must reach out to one another and raise each other up. We must embrace these moments of beauty when we can and not let go.