Have a complimentary chocolate

Lately I have been enjoying reading my twitter feed with my mornin’ cup ‘o joe and haven’t been watching the news on T.V.. I guess I should have been watching. I must have missed Matt Lauer and George Stephanopoulos informing the public at large to yell and be angry. Did I miss the mass email? Was there a memo sent that my carrier lost? Did I miss the post on my timeline? ( I still get lost on that damn thing).

On more than one occasion I have been on the receiving end of this anger and it is at these moments I wish I could coat Prozac with chocolate and wrap it in pretty foil and offer it as a complimentary treat.

I had a customer in need of travel size hairspray and I had the exact brand she used (which is rare – that is another tale for another time) and as I was giving her her change I said “I hope you have a great weekend, the weather is supposed to be great!” to which she snapped “Hmmpt…easy for you to say, you the weatherman?”. (usually it is at this moment my mind is catapulted to the scene in As Good as it Gets when Carol tells Melvin that she wishes she had his problem…someone offering him a convertible and a weekend away…but I digress).

I had a woman get mad at me because I smiled too much. Seriously, she comes in often and on her last visit she asked me why I smile so much and was told that some people may find that annoying.

This past week I have been smirked at, ignored and given the “blank stare”. I receive these lovely gifts after I am asked a question about a product and I…hold on to your hat… answer the question. (You see…I give them an  answer that they don’t want – the truth). As the customer is snapping her gum, twirling her hair and shaking her leg  she asks “I want to be like blonde again, I don’t like the  like black box color anymore. Can I like do it myself at home?”. Trying my best to listen to her question instead of counting how many times she says “like”, I answer her with the exact opposite of what she wants to hear. I let her know that it isn’t the best idea to do it at home and I tell her of the possible outcomes if she tries to do it at home…hair breaking off, turning green or pumpkin orange, even pink or red depending on what is on her hair and par for the course I receive a scowl AND a blank stare…two for the price of one.(footnote…she was in her 40’s)

I had a woman demand an answer for why our debit machine was so slow. I told her it was dial up and sorry it took so long. She told me I should call my service provider and tell them she wasn’t very happy. (She didn’t seem too impressed when I didn’t jump and grab the phone.).

I saw a woman threaten to rip the “sticker family” off another woman’s minivan.

Life is short and time is precious. Choose your battles wisely. Let people smile, enjoy the extra seconds given to you by a slow modem connection, leave the sticker families alone. If you are looking for me, I will be the one smiling, sippin’ her cup ‘o joe and reading her twitter feed.

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