podcasts

shameless – adjective – Feeling no shame, impervious to disgrace

I was scrolling my Instagram last week – no TikTok here – I’d never leave the sofa – I know this about myself – lets be honest, I was scrolling my Insta everyday last week – hence no TikTok, and by days end, I found myself bouncing between feeling dumb to feeling inadequate to feeling left behind. I’m entering the final months of my 53rd year on this earthly realm and I’m done feeling this way. Seriously, I have been feeling this way as long as I can remember. Some days it’s for a minute or two, some days, it lasts all day and seeps into the next.

We are bombarded every day, all day, with these ugly opinions cleverly disguised as facts on all social media platforms and internet ads, and don’t get me started on the AI fashion/skin care models. Even podcasts and podcast hosts telling us because we don’t drink enough greens that is the reason our life is falling apart and not using AI in your everyday life and everyday tasks will leave you alone floating on an ice flow. Oh, and protein…for the love of God, stop offering me protein. I’ve heard “You gotta try this protein powder” in my 50’s more than “You want a toke” in my teens. Ugh, and ease up on the “do you lift bro?” rhetoric. Yes, being reminded lifting is important to my aging bone health is great, I don’t need to be reminded that I’ll be the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” lady if I don’t do it everyday.

Here’s the thing I’ve come to realize – most of this shame is not mine. It’s what I think I’m supposed to feel shame about. Shame for being a stay at home Mom. Shame for going back to work. Shame for being too much. Shame for not being enough. Shame for cellulite. Shame for being too strong. Shame for being weak. Well, as I like to say, Fuck. That. Shit.

I’ve got a theory about this shame business. It may seem far fetched and if that’s what it sounds like to you, that’s fine by me, it’s just my theory/opinion. If we are all feeling shame about bodies, our lack of protein and exercise regimes, we’re focusing on those things, not world events, political decisions, what the Cheeto on Pennsylvania Avenue is up to – like I said, just an opinion.

Here’s the deal. You know that saying “before you think you’re depressed, take a look around to be sure you’re not surrounded by assholes”, I’ve got a new one for you. When the shame seeps in, look up from your phone, take a good around, and ask yourself “Who’s trying to sell me something by making me feel like failure?”. To be clear, I’m all for entrepreneurship and building a platform, side hustle or business. I do believe it can be done without the shame.

Be shameless Beauties. You’re doing the best you can today and that’s enough. Plain and simple.

… Oh, and the protein and weights will still be there tomorrow. Trust me, someone will let you know.

“If the first thing you do in the morning is eat a live frog, you can go through the rest of your day knowing the worst is behind you” – Mark Twain

I learned of this quote, and to be honest, my new morning mantra, courtesy of Glennon Doyle and her fabulous podcast, We Can Do Hard Things. The latest episode was about life hacks & strategies to suffer less. You gotta listen to that episode. Well, frankly, all the episodes. It’ll change your life.

What I found the most mind blowing about this quote/mentality – take your pick, is that I’ve been eating a frog almost every day my entire life. Ask my family. Seriously, the running joke in our household is “…so, what are you going to do with the other 22 hours of your day Sara?”. You see, I loathe most household chores. Loathe with a passion. I’ve been known to wash dishes, or floors and 7 a.m.. Why? I wanted it over and done with. I didn’t want to have it hanging over my head and ruining my day. There’s nothing worse (well, there is, but just go with me on this one) than having a great day out and waltzing into the kitchen to see dishes waiting to be washed. Ugh. Get the chores out of the way. Eat the frog.

This goes for everything in life, it really does. The proposal your boss is waiting on. That phone call you have to make. Taking a real hard look at your finances. Talking to your spouse about your marriage – well, that one may not be the best to get out of the way first thing in the morning. Been there, done that. Doesn’t end well.

Before you think I have my shit together, far from it. The flip side of this mind blowing realization, is, in some areas of my life, I’m not even eating a tadpole. As many of you know, I am now in my 50th year in this earthly realm. Being 50 comes with many perks. Knowledge, self worth, a kick ass bullshit radar, experience in work and life. It also comes with the perk of twisting your knee while you are sleeping. Yep. Just rolling over can put you out of commission for 3 days and wearing a brace for 5 weeks. I had been saying I wanted time off work, I have now learned I have to be much more clear and concise with the intentions I put out into the universe. I had also been saying to anyone who would stand still that I need to start working out. I downloaded and joined a fitness app, in 2021. It’s a sweet app. It reminds me weekly that it hasn’t seen me or recorded any activity, always with a little note adding “How about trying a 5 minute stretch routine?”. So sweet. I’d like to think the only reason I haven’t eaten this “frog” is because it’s really Kermit sitting with his banjo singing The Rainbow Connection and who wants to disrupt that? Truth is, I know better, I’m not doing better. That’s gotta change. It’s gotta.

So, here I am, putting it out there, that I’m going to start exercising. Everyday? Who knows? I’m giving myself a hell of a lot of grace on this one. In the past I tried to devour a month’s worth of frogs, getting every workout imaginable fit into everyday, the perfect work out apparel, only to give up, because I was exhausted by it all, emotionally, physically and mentally. No more. One, because that’s stupid and two, I’m 50 with a trick knee.

Here’s the deal. Whatever it is, that is weighing you down, or you want to get it over with, get it done as soon as possible in your day, so you can enjoy your day, be it with your friends, your family, by yourself. Eat the frog my friends, eat the frog.