Kermit the Frog

“If the first thing you do in the morning is eat a live frog, you can go through the rest of your day knowing the worst is behind you” – Mark Twain

I learned of this quote, and to be honest, my new morning mantra, courtesy of Glennon Doyle and her fabulous podcast, We Can Do Hard Things. The latest episode was about life hacks & strategies to suffer less. You gotta listen to that episode. Well, frankly, all the episodes. It’ll change your life.

What I found the most mind blowing about this quote/mentality – take your pick, is that I’ve been eating a frog almost every day my entire life. Ask my family. Seriously, the running joke in our household is “…so, what are you going to do with the other 22 hours of your day Sara?”. You see, I loathe most household chores. Loathe with a passion. I’ve been known to wash dishes, or floors and 7 a.m.. Why? I wanted it over and done with. I didn’t want to have it hanging over my head and ruining my day. There’s nothing worse (well, there is, but just go with me on this one) than having a great day out and waltzing into the kitchen to see dishes waiting to be washed. Ugh. Get the chores out of the way. Eat the frog.

This goes for everything in life, it really does. The proposal your boss is waiting on. That phone call you have to make. Taking a real hard look at your finances. Talking to your spouse about your marriage – well, that one may not be the best to get out of the way first thing in the morning. Been there, done that. Doesn’t end well.

Before you think I have my shit together, far from it. The flip side of this mind blowing realization, is, in some areas of my life, I’m not even eating a tadpole. As many of you know, I am now in my 50th year in this earthly realm. Being 50 comes with many perks. Knowledge, self worth, a kick ass bullshit radar, experience in work and life. It also comes with the perk of twisting your knee while you are sleeping. Yep. Just rolling over can put you out of commission for 3 days and wearing a brace for 5 weeks. I had been saying I wanted time off work, I have now learned I have to be much more clear and concise with the intentions I put out into the universe. I had also been saying to anyone who would stand still that I need to start working out. I downloaded and joined a fitness app, in 2021. It’s a sweet app. It reminds me weekly that it hasn’t seen me or recorded any activity, always with a little note adding “How about trying a 5 minute stretch routine?”. So sweet. I’d like to think the only reason I haven’t eaten this “frog” is because it’s really Kermit sitting with his banjo singing The Rainbow Connection and who wants to disrupt that? Truth is, I know better, I’m not doing better. That’s gotta change. It’s gotta.

So, here I am, putting it out there, that I’m going to start exercising. Everyday? Who knows? I’m giving myself a hell of a lot of grace on this one. In the past I tried to devour a month’s worth of frogs, getting every workout imaginable fit into everyday, the perfect work out apparel, only to give up, because I was exhausted by it all, emotionally, physically and mentally. No more. One, because that’s stupid and two, I’m 50 with a trick knee.

Here’s the deal. Whatever it is, that is weighing you down, or you want to get it over with, get it done as soon as possible in your day, so you can enjoy your day, be it with your friends, your family, by yourself. Eat the frog my friends, eat the frog.

We’ve all seen the commercials. We’ve all seen the ads. We’ve all gone out and bought it and hid it in a brown paper bag. We’ve all done it. I’m speaking of box color from the drugstore…what did you think I was talking about?

Here’s the deal. Box color happens. You know. I know it. You want to do your own color because it makes you feel like you have become kindred spirits with the Hollywood spokesperson by using that product, power to you. That being said – when you decide to have your hair colored with professional Salon color – don’t deny that you used the box color. Here are the reasons why;

– more often than not, a stylist can spot a bottle job at 100 paces.

– don’t even get me started about arguing that the box said “professional quality”. If there wasn’t a Salon within two feet of you and a stylist was mixing the color – it ain’t professional.

– lying about using box color makes you sound like, well, a thirteen year old girl who is afraid of her mommy.

– no one is born with natural white blonde and orange streaks.

– Box color and Salon color don’t always mix. It is possible for a chemical reaction to take place and your hair can start to resemble Carrot Top or Kermit the Frog.

– in some cases, the hair can begin to break off. Yes, I said break off. I have seen it. It wasn’t pretty.

– last but not least, how could you do that to your kindred spirit? What kind of friend are you?

Why people choose to lie about using box color is beyond me and I don’t know why they try to lie to me about it. I had Mrs. Spencer, my grade two teacher believing we had two foster babies at our house and I was too busy helping my mother to be able to finish my spelling homework. I had that gig going for 3 weeks until the day my mother brought my spelling book to school because I forgot it at home. Long story short..the jig was up, the room spun a little and I had extra spelling homework for weeks. The point of sharing that tale…(pardon my french), you can’t bullshit a bullshitter. I know you used box color. You know you used box color. Admit it. Own it. Move on.

To be honest, it isn’t so much the color of your hair that gives away the fact you used box color, it is the look on your face when asked the question. The look in question is a mixture of a deer caught in the headlights mixed with a child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar. No matter the age or gender – the same look crosses the face of the person who is asked “Have you used box color on your hair?”. Jesus…it’s not like you were asked if you shoot heroine or if you knew all along where Bin Laden was. We just need to know what is on your hair so we can be sure you leave with the color you want. It’s really not that big of a deal. No judgement…well, not at my Salon.

* IMPORTANT TIP* if your stylist does not ask you if your color is professional Salon color or box color – get up and leave. Run! Think about it…a true professional and someone who takes pride in their work wants to be sure you receive the best color and service. You are their best advertising.