communication

The silent killer of stylist/clientele relationships. Symptoms – puffy eyes, red face, tissue lint stuck on the end of nose, hands clasped together in prayer standing in front of the hair color swatches or the thinning shears. Diagnosis – hair tragedy. Prognosis – with professional help and proper communication the hair and your self image will be survive.

This is more common than you know. We have all been there. We float into the salon with the dream of looking like Kate Middleton and leave looking like Peg Bundy. We buy the lightener to use at home because our “friend” said it was so easy and everyone she used it on went “so blonde” (of course “everyone” was already blonde and you are a brunette) – we start to see ourselves running on the beach like the baywatch girls – blonde tresses blowing in the wind and end up having a hair color that even a lifeguard couldn’t save. Why did this happen? To be honest, more times than not as the Captain in Cool Hand Luke put it so well – what we have here is a failure to communicate.

Believe it or not, most stylists want you to be happy. Most are heartbroken if you are not pleased with their work – they want you to have a good hair day everyday until you see them at your next appointment. Unless you have the ultimate trust and have had your stylist for many years and you know her as well as she knows you – NEVER say, “oh do what you like.”. Guess what – what you see and what she see’s are two different things. You may say “I want to a redhead” and picture Molly Ringwald – she pictures Jessica Rabbit. You may say “I want a pixie cut” – you picture Michelle Williams – she pictures Tinkerbell. Bring in a photo of what you want, google the image on your phone while you are sitting in her chair. Now remember… you can achieve the hair cut you like – you will not leave looking like the person in the photo – sorry to squash the dream – the hair we can help with – the face – that’s the office down the road.

As for the “at home” blunders – when all is said and done – don’t be hatin’ the friend – you decided to let her do it. To fix the horror that is now your hair – DO NOT TOUCH! Go to your stylist, tell her what happened and ask for her help. Don’t call and try to describe the color – half ripened banana color doesn’t mean a thing. We need to see your hair – to see the porosity of the hair, look for any breakage etc… Sometimes the dream of being a blonde bombshell may still be possible. Sometimes not.

If you can order a cheeseburger and ask them to hold the pickles, add just a drop of mustard, add more ketchup and only add 2 3/4 onions to the burger, I am sure you can figure out a way to tell your stylist what is it you want.

On this beautiful Sunday, I have been recalling many a tale. Tales of hair woes, mine and yours. Everyday I am immersed into a complete strangers pool of uncertainty. Uncertain if I am trustworthy to speak of their hair. “Does she know of what she speaks? She isn’t a hairdresser, she looks normal and her hair is nice but I have seen this before….hmm.”. I know that is what these strangers are thinking and I am okay with that. I have broad shoulders (thank you Dad for the genetics). I am here to say, in most circumstances I do know what I am talking about, and when I don’t I find out.

On a daily basis I remind women that they have a voice and they are allowed to use it. I hear their tales of discontent, of fury at their stylist for their new found pixie cut when all they wanted was a trim. The first thing I ask is “did you explain you were not happy?”. The answer is always “No, I didn’t want to hurt my stylist’s feelings”. Lets stop right there. First- not fair to the stylist – he/she doesn’t know there is a problem. They will continue to do what you do not like because they think everything is great! Second- really? You said nothing? If we are able to tell our physician’s when we are not happy, tell our dentists we fear them worse then the plague, why are we unable to tell a stylist we are not happy with the service. The good ones won’t be offended, if anything they will be upset that they may have offended you.

That said, next time you sit in a chair, awaiting the new you, listen for the consultation. You should hear from the stylist;

– What are we doing today?

– How have you been?

– Any changes since I have seen you last? (An important question – stress/medication/illness can sometimes affect your hair during chemical services)

– How do you do your hair at home? What products do you prefer?

All of these are important, as are you and your hair. If you aren’t hearing these things, you may want to look for another chair.