health and wellness, lifestyle, Parenting past 15, That girl in the red coat, Women

Find your path

 

I woke up this morning feeling lost. Wondering what the hell was I doing with my life? I know I talk a big game but I too suffer from the midweek blahs as I like to call them. Maybe it’s the planets in retrograde. Maybe it’s my lack of exercise. Maybe it’s hormones. Yes, I had a hysterectomy 9 years ago, but I still have my ovaries, so it could be hormones…the joys of womanhood in your forties. So, I plopped myself with a pout and my coffee in hand into my favorite chair and started scrolling through my feeds. I came across a post that I instantly shared via my Instagram story, Instagram feed and Facebook page. Reader’s Digest version – it spoke of patience and that what you need and desire for a feeling a free life will come. It will come. To be gentle with yourself.

My struggle with life is more of a professional one. Many paths are inviting me to stroll down them. Honestly, I am done with strolling down paths others have laid out before me. I know that is why I am feeling the way I am today. I have been taking the easy road lately. I have been choosing the comfortable options. I know better, but have not been doing better – hence today’s tale. I made myself sit down and write today. I have been blogging for 6 years now, but for some reason it began to scare me. My mind filled with thoughts of worrying about what others will think, worrying that others will think my blog has no format or flow. …and just as those thoughts almost overtook my courage this gem by Tayna Markul came across via P!NK’s Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…so here I am, speaking my truth instead of trying to be good.

 

Admitting our truths is scary. Trying to be good, hell, it’s frightening. Trying to be good is faking it, and I am done with faking it. My life isn’t all moonlight and roses. No one’s is…and that’s okay. So, here’s a little another nugget to help you have a better day and find your path, the one you choose, not the one chosen for you.

  • for those going through a separation or divorce – there is no shame to be felt. Be gentle with yourself – it just didn’t go as you had hoped
  • for those scorned by love – keep loving. Keep believing in love – if you don’t believe it can exist, it cannot find it’s way to your door
  • for those whose children are struggling with mental health issues – it’s not your fault, it is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s okay to talk about it and it’s okay to be frustrated by it.
  • it’s okay to love someone and not like them at the same time
  • it’s okay to want more – it’s not okay to punish others because you don’t have more
  • if you want something, you gotta do the work
  • if you want something, be okay with being scared
  • no one, I mean no one has all their shit together.

Stop comparing your life to the lives of others. Right now I am back at my old job. Shoe sales. My old employer asked me to come back, so I did. On my terms, with a schedule that works best for me. When I was first offered the position I thought “what will people say?” …then I remembered the opinions of others don’t pay my bills. My life is my life. Your life is your life. We are all just trying to get through and trying to matter.

Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do. Stop trying to be good. Feel the fright, embrace it and find your path. Plain and simple.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Let it be

” …And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me. Shine on until tomorrow, let it be”

– The Beatles

(I have had this song in my head since last night, and after what happened today, I knew I had to write about it)

I met a woman this morning that is the inspiration for today’s tale. It’s been a gray couple of days in my neck of the woods and being 2 days into Daylight Savings, it is safe to say I have prepared myself for whatever may come at me, from a nasty glare because the Black blinc mascara is on back order or a flat iron being hurled across the front desk …yes, it has happened – I have witnesses.

A woman came into the shop looking to purchase hair color to “fix the mess” on top of her head (her words, not mine). I asked her what color she had been using and when she told me that she has been using box dye from the drugstore, I suggested that she see a stylist to help her with her color, that trying to correct a box dye mishap is not easy. I let her know our stylists were available later this week, or if she couldn’t wait, I could suggest some Salons in town. She huffed at me and then told me “You are no help. At all. What a waste of time!”. Being me, I couldn’t leave it at that, so I asked her “Are you alright?”. She stared at me. “It’s just you seem upset and not just over your hair color.”. She continued to stare for a few moments then said “I’m turning 45 this weekend and my life is nothing like I thought it would be.”. It was quiet for a minute, I looked at her and said “Preachin’ to the choir sister!” which made her laugh. We began to chat and she let me know about her friends and their marriages and their kids and she felt like a failure because she is now a single parent and had to take a job in retail – to which she caught my eye, realized what she had just said, looked petrified and said “No offense!” to which I laughed and said “None taken”. I then let her glimpse behind the curtain and told her a little about me.

I can remember looking at my reflection in my bathroom mirror, tears streaming down my face, wondering what the fuck I had done with my life. – sorry for the “f” shot mom – it’s fitting. I, like many women and men, had fallen victim to the social media standard of life – as I like to call it. You know what I’m talking about – the perfect poses, the happy families, the awesome VACAY! photos. Seeing the lives of the people from your past and they seem to have it all – the great career, the cars, the house(s), you name it, they got it. What I came to realize, after wiping my face, having a vodka & tonic  and a hysterectomy (I don’t call it getting the stupid cut out for nothing) is that not everyone is what they “post” to be. ( not my quote – came across it and loved it). Stop measuring your worth on the lives of others. It ain’t worth it. I may not have a summer house in the Hamptons, I do have the love of a good man, and have had his love for over 23 years. I may not be jet setting to New York (yet), I do have a 19 year old daughter that can’t wait to tell me her exciting news. I may not be in the fortune 500, I am a blogger who has a worldwide following, I have been published and I own my own Retail Consulting business. Over the past years, if my life had been any different, I would not be who I am today. Plain and simple.

After chatting for a while longer, my customer asked who I would suggest to fix her hair. She wanted to come to our Salon, but didn’t want to wait. She wanted something today. So I gave her a few names and numbers. She thanked me for my time and for the chat. I told her “anytime.”. As she was leaving I told her to just “let it be” – to which she said “I love that song!” and she turned out our door with a little spring in her step.