cell phone

As of late, I have found myself lost in thought. So much so I am startled at least twice a day by my family when I walk into or out of a room. We’ve lived together in the same house for 30 years, I should not be surprised there is someone in the house with me. It’s almost, not almost, lets be real, I was totally focused at the tasks at hand for the past 15 years that I didn’t allow myself to slow down and take a moment to take a breath, let alone form a thought. Between my beloved having a heart attack at 39, raising a teenager in the ever changing digital world, mental health struggles for those I hold so dear, job changes, graduations, a little thing called the pandemic, menopause, joining the sandwich generation as the PB & J that holds it together, I lost my thoughts. Not my ability to think mind you, just my thoughts. As I tell my family, much to their chagrin, “They’re my thoughts, not what I’m thinking.”.

There is so much, too much happening in the world right now. So much despair and destruction. So much misunderstanding and misinformation. So much fear. I have two thoughts on fear. The following way sound woo woo to you, hear me out.

#1 – When I speak of the fear, you probably think of job loss, money struggles and food insecurity, along with the multitudes of issues. I used to think of that as well, and some days I still do. Yesterday I had a thought. The fear I’m noticing is the fear of loss of power or creditability. All these people in power, especially the Cheeto – you know who I mean, are behaving like a child on the playground that just found out someone else got a better baseball glove or got the prettiest girl to talk to them and it’s not fair! The minute the attention is off of them for one second, all hell breaks loose. I have news for them all. We die at the end of this. Not a threat. A medical and scientific fact. Those in power, from Presidents to Tech Bros., if all you are doing is looking out for yourself, all you will be remembered for, if you are remembered at all, is for what you did not do. Remembered for the pain you caused and could have tried to end. You’ll be remembered as a liar, someone who did not keep their word and bowed down to the almighty dollar. As for the people in power who “love the lord” as you are watching Washington be painted gold – you’ll be remembered as someone who used religion to get ahead – FYI – that is definitely NOT what Jesus would do – refer to cleansing the temple for more information.

#2 – Fear is used to control people, overwhelm them. Get them to give their attention “over there” and not to the man behind the curtain. Those who know me well, know that yours truly does not like when people try to control me, or anyone else for that matter. Have you ever thought for a moment that not being afraid and having hope, even if it’s for one minute a day, is an act of defiance and solidarity? A true act of self care if you will. Soon your one minute a day turns into 5, then 10 and hopefully into hours. Think about it. Imagine how things could change if we all gave our attention to hope instead of fear. Many may think I have the view of a wide eyed child, and that’s fine, you’re entitled to your opinion. I have too many personal experiences in my life that prove I’m on to something. I’d like to believe things would improve and it would really piss off those who use fear as a tactic – so it’s a win win in my opinion.

If you are able, try to find a moment to get lost in thought – not when driving, but when doing the dishes, taking a bath or brushing your teeth. Before you tune into Netflix, put down the remote and just sit there for a minute or two. Put your cell phone in another room , just for a minute. Your thoughts are chomping at the bit, waiting to be set free, as are you, and as am I.

Get lost in a thought my friends.

First things first. To all the health care workers, I don’t know how you’ve done this for over a year now. I’m in awe of you all. Thank you is not a strong enough sentiment.

In my part of the world, we have been in lockdown since Boxing day 2020. A stay at home order was imposed early January and fingers crossed it is supposed to be lifted February 10th. Although I work retail, our store sells shoes and safety footwear to essential/front line workers, so yours truly has been working the entire time. We are open by appointment only for front line/essential workers and for any other customer, we are offering curbside pick up. Yep, selling shoes curbside, in Canada, in the winter. Yep, it’s different to say the least. I try not to complain, for I am still working, shortened hours, but working none the less. My boss treats us to coffee, takes over any irrational customers, in person or on the phone, we can take as many breaks as we need, I am fortunate and I know it. That being said, it’s been, interesting. At the end of my 6 hour shift I feel as if I’ve come off a 12 hour shift. Physically I’m fine, mentally, I’ve hit a wall. Curbside sales are now handled via text, email, phone call or facetime. At any given time I have 3 phones on me… I feel like a cross between a stock broker and drug dealer.

The majority of customers have been great. Patient, kind and grateful for the service we are providing. Unfortunately, of course, being retail, there have been some customers that make Karen seem like Mary Poppins. Being me, I’m gonna let you have a glimpse behind the curtain and share some of the experiences of my co-workers and myself. I can’t make this shit up.

at least once a day we receive a call from someone wanting to come in the store. We ask them if they are working and when they say no, we explain we offer curbside and that instore shopping is by appointment only and for essential/frontline workers. Then they proceed to ask us to lie for them. Yep. They actually say “Can’t you just say I’m essential, I really want new running shoes and I always try on at least 10 pairs to find the perfect one.”.
We’ve had people come in for a scheduled appointment turn around and tell us they are retired, that they aren’t working. *Cue manager intervention and direction to curbside service.
We’ve been yelled at and the f-shot shouted at us over the phone because the customer thinks the “lockdown/stay at home order is bullshit!”. …sigh
We have to tell customers to put their mask on when we deliver their shoes curbside.
I’ve been told I don’t know what I’m talking about when I explain the lockdown/stay at home restrictions and regulations
Many products are on back order, because of Covid. At least three times a day, myself or one of my co-workers is yelled at because of it. My favorite retort is “That’s what you said when I called on Sunday!” …we are closed Sundays.
When we take the purchases out to the cars, it’s so much fun when the customers exclaim “Sure is cold eh? You gotta be freezing!” and continue to chat as they are in the warm car. Sometimes I inch forward in hopes of catching some heat from their vents.

As I said earlier, most of the customers have been great. Grateful for their new footwear so they can go to work and get the job done. Jumping out of their cars, mask on to get the boxes from us so we don’t have to be outside longer than needed. Tipping us for our service. Asking us how we are doing. I had a gentleman ask if he could go get me a coffee. Elderly customers telling me I brightened their day, staying on the phone with them for 30 minutes helping them replace their slippers.

I can’t believe it’s been a year that I’ve been writing about Covid retail. A year. Although it’s been tough, and dealing with the public hasn’t been the thrill ride of my life, I do have to say, every day, at least one person, a perfect stranger shines a ray of hope into my day. Genuine kindness expressed. Genuine concern and compassion has been shown. Yes, we need a vaccine. Yes, we need to wear a mask. Yes, we need to sanitize/wash our hands, and yes, especially now, a year into this pandemic, kindness can be a cure too. Kindness may not cure a virus, but it can cure a beaten down spirit. It can bring warmth to your heart and a smile to your face. One of my favorite quotes goes a little something like this, “Your kindness may be the only glimpse of god someone see’s today.”. A simple act of kindness can give someone the energy to keep going, give them hope of better days to come. Be kind, plain and simple.