health and wellness, Sunday Confessions, That girl in the red coat, Women

Sunday Confessions

Truth – (noun) the quality or state of being true

 

I have a truth to share. I talk a big game about being true to yourself, believing in yourself and setting your sight on what you want and going for it. Most days, I hit a home run in that department. Some days, I am not capable of getting up to bat. Over the past weeks I have been in search of divine intervention, answers to questions I can’t seem to even articulate, yet I know they are there. I have been taking on the responsibility of other people’s problems, thinking that I could change things for them … like I really have that kind of power. I have found myself comparing myself to others, their achievements and what not. …I know, I know. Not even a month ago I blogged how comparison is the thief of joy. I’m just a woman trying to speak her truth and own it.

I read a quote years ago along the lines of “when you are feeling depressed, first check that you are not surrounded by assholes”. I have come to realize that I have been allowing the negativity of others and their snide, passive aggressive “compliments” to seep into my daily thoughts. I cannot stop what people say, I can stop what I let it do to me. I also had to remind myself that I can offer advice or my opinion, I cannot control what the other person will do with it, if they will heed my advice and help themselves, or just dismiss it all together and , in the end, it’s completely on me if I let myself hold onto the hurt of feeling dismissed. Trust me, as I sit here and write this I am wishing I could lay blame on others, the easier route in the short term, harder for the long term.

Today is Remembrance Day in Canada. Beginning at 11:00 a.m. I sat and watch the coverage of the ceremony. As I was watching the elderly veterans, I found myself wanting to kick my own ass. Here I am, a woman, living in a free country, allowed to vote, to walk down the street, earn a living, own a home, have an education. All because over the past 100 years, people I would never know or meet, gave up their lives for my freedoms. When I stopped and thought for a moment, really let it sink in, I realized that I should be grateful that I can have my moments of missing the mark, of wondering what if, of feeling like I am a failure. Why should I be grateful? I have the time to have these thoughts, to process them, to get them out of my system and keep on keepin’ on. Seriously. My biggest problem today is how I feel about myself or how I let someone make me feel. For the last 100 years men and women died for freedoms they never got to relish. Today, all over the world, children are being forced into war, families are being ripped apart at the border because they are fleeing such countries. Women are walking 2 -10 miles a day in hopes of getting clean water. Families in first world countries are one paycheck away from losing their homes. Hell, I am a woman who is able to speak her mind and has the freedom of speech, something I shall never take for granted, for there are women around the globe risking their lives just to be able to get groceries by themselves. Needless to say, I have gained some perspective.

We all have bad days. We all feel inadequate at some point. We all feel dismissed or ignored. We all fall victim to comparisons. In the end, it’s up to us to gain some perspective, take a hard look at ourselves and who we surround ourselves with, and most of all, to be grateful, for the up’s, the down’s and the all around’s.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

It’s been awhile

First and foremost, I gotta thank you all for your patience and your support over the past weeks. It has been over 3 weeks since my newest tale, yet you all kept reading my tales from the archives and sharing my tales, and for this I must thank you. On to the tale at hand.

It’s a new year. (Yes, I realize it’s February). I am not one to make New Year’s resolutions. I tend to make up my mind and go forward, no matter the date. This year, as I was sitting in the emergency room with my hubby (no worries – not his heart – he broke his ankle on New Years Day),both of us were joking and giggling with each other. One – of the absurdity of his luck, and two – it was the first time in 2 years we were at the hospital in the early morning instead of the wee small hours of the morning and he was waiting to be fitted for an air cast, not hooked up to monitors and being poked and prodded. It was then and there I realized it’s been awhile since I gave over and was just grateful. I resolved to myself to go forward with love from now on. Decided that whatever got in my way, negative or positive, I would thank it, and give it love. When push comes to shove, we have no control of what will happen, we only have control of what we think and how we deal. I will admit, I have had a few moments of weakness, like the day I told the 5 foot snow drift to fuck off because the snow kept blowing back in my face. – hey – hubby broke his ankle the same month Mother Nature decided to show us what she was really made of. Back to the tale at hand.

The weather in my neck of the woods has been cold, snowy and not very sunny. So, I understand why some people are grumpy, but at the end of the day, we can’t control Mother Nature, we can only control our nature. I have heard, over and over about how unfair it is that dinner plans had to be changed because of bad weather. I have heard about how unfair it was to come back from a sunny vacation to a snowy mess. I have heard how unfair it is that now your hair is dry and frizzy because of the weather. All of these things are worth a pout or two, and then it’s time to move on.Think about it, these are all things you have control over. You do. Dinner plans may have been changed, remember –  dinner will still be eaten. You miss the sun & surf of your vacation, remember – you got to go on vacation.Your hair is dry and frizzy, remember – with the proper products, your dryness and frizz will be a thing of the past. Over the past weeks dear friends have endured things they have no control over. They have lost both parents, have lost their friends to illness and addiction, have lost their beloved pets, have broken their wrists (and ankles) – these are things that are deserving of more than a pout or two…your frizz…not so much.

I do believe it’s time to be thankful. It’s time to give it some love, what ever it may be. Frustrated at the wind chill factors? Be thankful you have a home – many are hoping they get to the shelter on time for a bed. Pissed off that your hat made your hair frizzy? Be thankful for the frizz, then go through your closets and donate the coats and hats you no longer wear to your local women’s shelter. Ticked at the traffic jam? Be thankful you are not in the accident that caused the traffic jam and send some love to those who were. Frustrated that you are always shoveling? Be thankful that it was a broken ankle and his heart is on the mend.