Beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women

Take the time

Yesterday yours truly was treated to a spa afternoon. My lovely friend invited me to join her for an afternoon of pampering. I put aside my reservations of an afternoon at the spa. You see, after being in the beauty biz and running a Salon, I know the health standards and the health codes, I know how spa tools are supposed to be cleaned and sanitized, hence my reservations. In the past I could never relax enough to enjoy the services, I found myself seeing the spa through the eyes of a manager instead of through the eyes of a client in dire need of some self care. I spent the morning getting myself into the proper head space so I could enjoy myself. …and let me tell you, I did.

We started with pedicures and I chose the color “self love” by SpaRitual for my toes.

Pink Salt Foot Detox

 

*FYI – SpaRitual is a Vegan polish. Cruelty free, free of any animal derived ingredients, gluten free, and free of Touline, Formaldehyde, Dibutyl Phthalate (DBP), Formaldehyde Resin, Camphor, Ethyl tosylamide, Xylene, MEHQ/HQ, MIT and Parabens.

We followed our pedicures with a Pink Salt foot detox and a session in the healing Salt Cave. Pink Salt is a powerful tool for rebalancing, revitalizing and gently cleansing the body and the mind. Salt Caves can help with breathing disorders, sinus infections and inflammation and many other respiratory and health ailments.

Enough about the services. The point of today’s tale is to come clean about something. After our pedicures, we were guided to the Pink Salt foot detox room and offered coffee, tea or water. I planted myself down in my tub chair, placed my feet on the Pink Salt and waited for my coffee. When our lovely guide came back, she gave me my coffee and said “this service will be 45 minutes long. No worries about watching the clock, we will come get you when your time is up” and left. I felt my stomach sink and for a brief moment I felt anxious and guilty that I was just going to sit down and treat myself, just to do it. I turned to my friend and admitted my feelings. I had a huge light bulb moment. I found myself thinking about all the women that feel the same way I did. How many times they and I put the needs of others before themselves and in turn began to resent others for it. I came to realize that some of my anger towards others wasn’t completely on them, it was on me too. More often than not, people have no idea that you have put yourself on the back burner to put them first. They have no idea of what you are feeling, thinking or what you need, because they are not in your head, plain and simple.

I know all too well life gets in the way and that finances don’t always allow for a spa day or even spa session. What I have come to realize is there is always time for self care, be it 5 minutes or if your lucky, an hour. Put down your phone. Boil the kettle and steep your favorite tea and take a seat and look out the window. Run yourself a hot bath with some Epsom salts (they sell them at Walmart…I know you go there). Give yourself an at home Mani, nothing fancy. Pull a Madge and simply soak your hands in Palmolive if need be. Grab your facial scrub and use it on your hands to exfoliate, follow with your favorite hand cream. Massage the cream in for two minutes. Most importantly, when doing any of these “self treats”, breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Breathe. Let go. Be present. …and put down your phone.

We cannot possibly control every aspect of our life. Life will still be hectic. Children will cry, pets will get sick, bosses will be well, bosses. Plans will fall through, dinners will burn, spouses will be late. Sometimes you won’t be having the argument, it will be having you. No one is perfect, nor will they ever be. You are not perfect, nor will you ever be. You are allowed to feel overwhelmed. You are allowed to feel you are over your head. You are also allowed to take time for yourself. We all are. It’s time to put down the guilt baggage and leave it there. When we take care of ourselves, we are better equipped to take care of others. As one of my favorite Queer Eye gents ( I adore them all) Jonathan Van Ness says “It’s not vanity. It’s self care”

 

Take the time.

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

It was a quiet day at the shop today. It’s January and mother nature couldn’t make up her mind  which outfit to wear…Parka? Winter boots? Rubber boots? Trench coat?…so she went with all four.Today went from snow to freezing rain to rain to imminent thunderstorms. It seems that mother nature wasn’t the only one today who couldn’t make up her mind or the only one in a mood for that matter. I was going to make today’s tale another installment of the ever popular “tales of truth” series as my first few customers were so generous as to give me some awesome material, but it was the last customer I served that changed my mind. She belittled her husband. She made fun of him. She went on and on about his feet and their cracks and calluses and ended her monologue with “Hhmmppt. Men. No personal hygiene…what do you expect.”.

I am always hearing women complain about men and their lack of personal hygiene. First things first ladies, lets get one thing straight.There is a difference between personal hygiene and personal maintenance, so maybe, just maybe you need to ease up a little. Here is a little list to help clarify;

Brushing teeth = Personal hygiene. Manscaping = Personal maintenance.

Washing hair & all 2000 parts = Personal hygiene. Keeping side burns the exact shape = Personal maintenance.

Washing hands = Personal hygiene. Getting a manicure  = Personal maintenance.

The reason for today’s tale is to help out our gents. Too many of you are out right mean to the men in your lives. Yeah…I said it. I know, I know, I can hear some of you now, “She’s always sticking up for the men!”. Correction. Not to sound all “Norma  Rae”, I am standing up for beauty, in all forms , for all people. My tales may from time to time reflect the issues of our gents because in the business of beauty, they are either being neglected or ridiculed. It’s true. Think about it. How many times have you heard or said “Isn’t that cute?!?” when you hear a man has gotten a pedicure….and women wonder why men don’t keep up with their personal maintenance. If that is how you treat him, you are lucky it is only his feet he has let go.

After my customer had finished what she thought was a witty and well thought sentence, I let her know that many men come into my shop for help. I told her “They come into my shop because we make them feel comfortable. We understand that they have faced ridicule and that is not what we are about. We also know that, for the most part, men don’t know about personal maintenance because no one ever taught them.”. Then we had a staring contest, her and I. After about 10 seconds, she said “Never thought about that.”. I gave her a few samples and wrote down the instructions on how to use the products she purchased. (by the way…a foot paddle to exfoliate the callus and Gehwol Lipidro cream are an  AWESOME combination….OH! and for cracked heels the Gehwol Salve for Cracked Skin is terrific!).

Guess what?! Men, just like us, want to look good, and feel good. Just like us, they want to look desirable to their better half, be it a man or a woman. Just like us, getting a second glance from a stranger puts a spring in their step. Did you ever stop to think that maybe your gent wants to get his back waxed so he can feel comfortable walking with you hand in hand on the beach – not because he has a mistress. Sure, there are some real asses out there, it doesn’t mean that when your gent starts taking pride in his appearance he has a bit on the side – would you want him to think that of you every time you applied lipstick?

Seriously ladies. Be nice. It is really that simple. Treat your gents as you want to be treated.  As women, we are always preaching about equality. Well ladies, careful what you wish for, because if you are one of those women who mock and ridicule the men in your lives, guess what is coming your way.

Gentlemen and…ladies?