Yes, I am forty years old and yes, I am working all weekend. My PTG (part time girl) is going away for a weekend of fun before school begins so here  I am. In honour of my weekend of retail bliss and salon escapades I thought I would share some of the life changing comments I receive on a daily basis and the questions I never tire of answering. Seriously, I wish I was making this stuff up.

– “If I use a Nail Strengthener, how strong will my nails get? Like could I use them to nail a picture on the wall?”

– “Why does the OPI Shatter nail Polish make your polish look like it is shattered?”

– “Do you work here?” (I am standing behind the counter ringing through a sale on the computer)

– “Are you wheelchair accessible? Your sign says Walk In’s welcome.” (give it a minute….we have a Salon….there you go).

– “I thought for sure the hair color would stop my regrowth coming in gray” ( Yep – grown women actually think that hair color seeps into the scalp so when their hair grows the new hair grows out the color the had applied…sigh…)

– “I have errands to run, will the hairspray can blow up in my trunk?”

– “I want more volume in my hair but I don’t like using products or a blow dryer.”

– “I only use vegan and environmentally friendly products, I care for our children’s future” – then gets into her Hummer wearing leather boots and a fur coat.

“Why can’t I return this shampoo? It was crap!” – the bottle is a 1/4 full. I guess it took weeks worth of use to realize this.

– the door chimes and before I can say hello the purse clunks down on the counter and the demand of “get me 1 Sebastian Shaper Plus and a KMS Molding Paste.” – hmmmm….I don’t see the golden arches and you are not in a car and I am not at a window, so guess what….

– “Can you watch him while I look around?” – child covered in snot and what I can only hope is chocolate ice cream.

– “Well….like …don’t you like know everything?” – after asking me the difference between mousse and root lift.

– “Oh…my…gawd! Like…can you like ….geet like ova youself? Like ….I seriously doubt…for sure …that I could actuaaallly go blonde!” – a conversation I hear between two girls at least once a week.

– “Are you open?!?!” The door is locked, the lights are off, the “open” sign is off…a woman is pulling on the door and banging on the window.

Enjoy your weekend everyone, I am damn sure I will have some doozies for you on Monday.