Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

No, I don’t want to tend the rabbits

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Ahhh, that all too familiar chirp of the door chime of my shop. A woman comes in and I ask her if I can give her a hand finding what she needs. She tells me “I am looking for a good conditioning treatment.”. So, I show her the Joico Kpak Revitaluxe. I admit that it is one of my favorites and tell her that everyone that has tried a sample has come back to buy it and I offer her a free sample. After explaining how it restores the porosity of the hair, she asks me “So, are you a stylist?”. “No, I am the manager and I have…” this is when I am spoken over with the all too familiar “Hmmppt…well if you are not a stylist, how can you know anything?” What I want to say is “well…hooked on phonics done worked for me and I done taught meself to read!”. Alas, that doesn’t happen. What happens is I smile, take a breath and explain that I have been in the beauty biz for over 10 years and in customer service for over 20 years. I explain that I have been to every product knowledge class and that I run the store, so I make sure I know everything about what I sell. She still looks at me like I am Forrest Gump or seems to wait for me to start talking about “tending the rabbits”.

Yes, it’s true. I am not a stylist. I am not an aesthetician. I am not a university graduate. What I am is intelligent, articulate, kind and one hell of a sales person and manager. Yeah, I said it. Muhammad Ali said it best “It ain’t braggin’ if you can back it up”, and I can back it up. Don’t get me wrong. I am  a firm believer of furthering one’s education. Some times life gets in the way and some of us aren’t able to go to college or university. That doesn’t mean that we are any less intelligent or capable as our post secondary peers. That being said, I also believe in educating yourself, about yourself. Finding out who you are and what you like, not what everyone expects you to be or what you “should” be and what you are supposed to like.

People tend to judge quickly. Yes, I am a girl standing in a shop, that does not mean I have always been a girl standing in a shop. Also, I have chosen to be where I am today. Yes, its true. Believe it or not…some of us actually enjoy what we do for  a living. Shocking, I know. I have had many experiences, corporately trained and such…a tale for another time.

You cannot teach passion, you either have it or you don’t. If you have passion for what you do as I do, you will become an expert because you will soak up all the knowledge and facts you can like a sponge. You will be excited and in turn make others excited. I have yet to hear of a course anywhere that can teach that.

I may not be a hair stylist,  but I can still teach you a thing or two.

Beauty, communication, Fashion, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Purge the Vanity

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So, there I was, going through my closet seeing what still fits, what I still like and what I am ready to part with. Fall is upon us and as with any season change I find myself scouring the bible for fashion ideas…the bible being the September issue of Vogue. I don’t know if turning forty has anything to do with this but I have no need to hold onto anything that does not bring me happiness. Maybe it was my husband and my father having a heart attack 8 days apart last October. Maybe it’s both. Anyways, I found myself looking at sweaters that I have had for over 4 years and wondering “what the hell was I thinking?” and then realizing it wasn’t me thinking, it was whomever I was shopping with that particular day and listening to what they thought was right for me instead of what I thought was right for me. Which got me to thinking about my vanity and all the products that I bought because of the same reason I own a sweater that makes by breasts look so big that Dolly Parton would blush. (trust me…it’s not pretty…even my husband looked on in horror and my daughter ran out of the room screaming).

I know you have all read about or heard of cleaning out your closet. I think it is time for a new tradition…clean out your vanity and rid yourself of any product that doesn’t bring you happiness. You know the products I am talking about…

– that facial cream that your mother gave you – the one that every time you unscrew the lid you hear your mother saying “hopefully this will make you look less tired.”

– that organic deodorant that promised all day odorless freshness and you ended up smelling like the onion ring guy at the county fair.

– that eye cream that promised to eliminate the dark circles under your eyes and it did…and it also puffed them up so much you looked like you went a few rounds with Apollo Creed.

– that waterproof mascara that took 20 make up remover wipes, 30 baby wipes, baby oil, soap and 25 minutes each eye to remove.

– those “all day freshness” panty liners  – the only thing they kept fresh was your anger each time they stuck to your pants or your butt…yeah, I said it. We all know it happens.

– the lipstick that your best friend told you to buy so you would look “hot” for the guy you wanted to impress at the party…the same guy she took home.

– the mousse that your so called “friend” told you would be good to use so your hair would be so big that no one would notice your butt. (personal experience with that one…I heard she now lives in a trailer with 10 kids…that’s what I heard).

– the baby blue eye shadow. Enough said.

– the banana clip from 9th. grade. I know it’s painful…it is time to let it go.

What I am getting at is this…be happy. Set up your life so you can smile, not wince. When putting on face cream you should hear nothing but your own inner voice saying how beautiful you are. When putting on lipstick the only thought going through your head is “I like this color”. Take a look at what is residing in your vanity cupboards and drawers. When you hold the product in your hand – if it makes you anything but happy – throw it away, or give it to a friend who may want it.

Make it a point of your bedtime ritual to put the negative to rest as well.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Beware of yoga pants & ponytails

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The school year has begun and with it the drama has begun as well. “Why are you wearing that?”. “What did you do to your hair?”. “So…you didn’t go anywhere this summer?!?!”. By the way…these lovely phrases are not coming from the tots on the playground…they are coming from the mothers.

My daughter is now in high school, thankfully, so I am spared from the treachery of the playground. I am spared the monologues from women about how much they love their child and how their child is the center of their universe, all the while I am watching said king/queen playing chicken with the approaching school bus but she is too busy to notice because she must talk about her new yoga pants while she swings her ponytail and point out how horrible so and so’s dye job is.

You see, since the school year began, I am having the moms coming into the shop, either for an appointment in the salon or just to shop for a new hairspray without a child or ten clinging to her leg. Many of them have been coming in feeling horrible about themselves. Why you ask? Well, I asked them the same question and their answers were all the same…some “mom” on the playground said something to them about their hair…and it wasn’t complimentary. One woman was told her pixie cut made her look like a man…I told her she looked cute because she did. One woman was asked “why did you color your hair? Now you look awful!”. I told her she looked great because she did, a beautiful rich caramel blonde. Then I asked her how big the other woman’s ass was, to which she smirked and I said “there you go…you have a smaller ass than her so she had to pick on something” and then we laughed. Yeah, I said it…sure I always say to be nice…but come on…that was funny.

I have had a few women get a little mad at me because I asked them questions.I apologized if my questions bothered them and explained I was asking the questions so I could pin point exactly what they would need and what product they may like. After a while they warmed up to me and I found out the reason for their initial cold shoulder and shortness with me. Moms in the school yard. Enough said. I can’t stress this enough…ladies…be nice to each other. Just because you are in a school yard doesn’t mean you have to act like a child. Behave yourself, not just because it is the right thing to do, because there are lots of little ears listening to you and little eyes watching your every movement.

Oh…and while we are on the subject…if a woman has one child or twenty, she is a mother and has the same struggles that all mothers have and the same worries and concerns…BE NICE. If you are mad because your ass doesn’t look as nice in your yoga pants as Johnny’s mom’s looks in hers, get off her back and back on the treadmill. Envious of someone’s hair color? Ask what Salon she goes to and tell her how great she looks…maybe her husband didn’t notice and your compliment may save her a day held up in the bathroom with a box of tissue.

Seriously, life puts up enough road blocks…why add to the congestion?

 

 

Beauty, Business, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Salon Etiquette 101

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As you all know by now, I manage a Salon/retail shop. At least once a day, everyday (yes, I am serious…everyday) I feel like Miss. Beadle from Little House on the Prairie. Not because I am teaching someone something new – because I feel like I am dealing with Willie Oleson’s bad behaviour or Nellie Oleson’s nasty glare. Now, I have come to realize that maybe some of you cannot help your behaviour. No one had ever told you that it is not polite to throw a flat iron or it isn’t the best idea to sit on the floor and try out the nail polish that you haven’t purchased. So, me being me, I have compiled yet another list for you. Consider it a class in Salon Etiquette. Oh…and for the stylists out there, you may want to pay attention, for this list is for you as well. Come on now…you and I both know that not all stylists out there are behaving nicely or showing any professionalism for that matter. Now class, take your seats and pay attention to the lesson.

Salon Clientele –

– When purchasing a hair brush, please do not take each one off the shelf and run it through your hair. You see, now we cannot sell that brush to another client and we also cannot return it to the manufacturer. Would you want to buy a hairbrush that some person just used? Didn’t think so.

– When purchasing nail polish…do not open the bottle and try the polish on your nail. Again, now we cannot sell that polish to another client and we cannot return it to the manufacturer. All polishes come with a color swatch so you can put the nail swatch up  to your hand to see how the color looks. To clarify, although the swatch is shaped like a fingernail – the color looks the same on a toenail. (yep…if you’ve read my blog…you know the story).

– Do not take the lid off every hairspray and spray it to see if it sprays evenly. Yes, I have been privy to many an explanation by grown women try to explain to me the aerodynamics of hairspray and how it “lands” on the hair. (not to be confused with AG aerodynamic Hairspray…a nice light hold).

– When you are in my shop, all my products are professional salon products and name brands. Everything I sell is good. It comes down to what you are looking for and what your hair needs are. Unless your name is Honey BooBoo, please refrain from the old time favorite “Whatcha got here that’s good? I don’t want any crap stuff.”.

– If you wax and are suffering with red bumps or ingrown hairs on your bikini line, you can just tell us. Seriously, we know what red bumps are and what ingrown hairs are…please…I beg you…unless you look like (and others think you look like) Cindy Crawford…we don’t need to see it.

– We have all had bad hair days. We have all been fed up with our products. Take a breath. When we ask you what you want your hair to look like and what products you are currently using, don’t get mad. We are not blaming you for your hair mishap. We are asking so we know where to start from, to see what will work best for you…don’t get angry. Take a breath, have a complimentary chocolate.

– Just because your last stylist or salesperson didn’t know what they were doing doesn’t mean we are all like that. Be nice. Give us a chance.

Now, for the stylists –

– When your client arrives for their appointment and are in your chair, I don’t care if they have been coming to you for 20 years…do a consultation! Ask them if they were happy with their last service, confirm what you are doing that day. Ask if they have had any life changes, illness or new medication – for all of these factors could affect their hair.

– Got a color service booked? Make sure your client hasn’t been using “at home” color. If you need to ask me why…it may be time to rethink your career choice.

– When you are styling your client’s hair, tell them what you are using. Tell them how much to use and how to apply it. Teach them how to do their hair. SELL THEM THE PRODUCTS!!! This way they can be happy with their new cut for longer than a day. (hey…if you won’t sell it to them…I will gladly help them out…oh that’s right…I already do.).

– When your client is mistaken about a product, don’t pull a Nellie Oleson and laugh at her misconception. Be polite…how about trying “you know, a lot of people think that, but actually” and fill in the blanks. You want your clients to be nice to you? Be nice to them. Respect =respect.

– When the appointment is over, clarify if they need any of the products you used. RE-BOOK them! Women are busy, between work and kids and liquor store runs, they will forget about their hair until that moment they catch their roots in the rear view mirror. They will call for an appointment and won’t be able to get in…and guess what…it is your fault (that is what they are thinking at that moment). Re book them and this isn’t an issue and when they come for their appointment they will feel like you care about them…and we all want to feel that.

So there you have it, Salon Etiquette 101. Hopefully you all have learned something and I won’t be forced to put you in the corner beside Willie.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

I’m looking for that girl in the red coat.

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I know that there is a full moon upon us, and it is the second one of the month. It is referred to as a blue moon, which is where “once in a blue moon” comes from. Well, that phrase doesn’t seem to ring true in my life lately for the events of the last few weeks happened more than once.

In the past few weeks any accomplishment has seemed to be belittled or poo-poo’d (don’t like poo-poo’d- call Websters and lets move on), on more than one occasion my thyroid scar has been pointed out and at, I have been questioned (with rolling eyes) about why I do a blog, oh…and my favorite, that my plans are just dreams and a “cute” way to spend my free time. I must admit, I started to let it get to me. I started to believe the hype.

It was at this moment a woman came into the shop and came right up to me and said “I am looking for that girl in the red coat.”. I shit you not.(pardon my french…sorry Dad). You see, thanks to Twitter, I had been tweeting daily affirmations to some of my rockin’ ladies who own businesses in town and she was always part of the tweets so I began to include her in my daily tweets. I shouted “That’s me!!”. I did, I kind of get excited and at 40 years old I shouted. We both laughed as we shook hands. She asked me about the shop, she listened to what I had to say. My ideas were not belittled, I was not told how “cute” my plans were and not a mention of my scar. That night when I got home, as I entered my bedroom, my copy of GUTS by Kristen Johnston fell of my shelf. Again…I shit you not. Again, although in different circumstances, another person reminded me that different is great.

What I am trying to get at without using a bouncing ball over my words is this…Be kind. I know, I have blogged about this before and all you want to know is what conditioning treatment is the best. (Kpak Revitaluxe…but I digress). Trust me, I will continue to blog about product knowledge, customer service and all things Salon. I will also continue to blog about kindness and courtesy. I will continue to blog about lifting each other up, not pummeling each other and our dreams into the ground. I have said it before and will continue to say it, I believe a little fairy dust goes a long way. Sometimes a little kindness helps remind someone of the beauty that is still in this life. Being excited for another person’s accomplishments, no matter how small they seem to you, can make the difference between their success or failure.

…and quite honestly, no amount of hair color, mousse or hairspray can make cruelty beautiful.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

Surrounded with beauty

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Surround yourself with beautiful things. We have all heard it, read about it in magazines…bring fresh flowers into the room, paint the walls your favorite color, buy a great smelling shampoo, treat yourself to a great conditioning treatment, burn a scented candle, plant a tree. Yes, these are wonderful ideas. I have another idea for you. How about surrounding yourself with beautiful people. I’m not talking about Cindy Crawford and Brad Pitt (although he would be fun to look at while he served me lemonade). I’m talking about people that have more to offer to a conversation than “Can you believe Snooki went to the bar while pregnant?!” (no offense intended Snook).

This evening, thanks to a dear friend, I was invited to help celebrate a new found friend’s birthday. As I sat there, the laughter warming me more than the sun, I realized I was surrounded by beauty. Every woman at that table had a story to tell, every woman at that table was excited for one another’s achievements. Not a sour face was made nor a hurtful word uttered. Some of us were meeting face to face for the first time yet it felt we had known each other for ages. We were there to celebrate our friend, and in turn celebrated each other.

Life is short. Pardon my french…shit happens. Life gets in the way more often than not. It is time to surround yourself not just with beautiful things, but with beautiful people. People that see you – not just look at you. People that listen to you – not just hear you. We must reach out to one another and raise each other up. We must embrace these moments of beauty when we can and not let go.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Getting the stupid cut out

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I found myself thinking about the moment I knew I wanted to do a blog. I was at home recovering from my hysterectomy (or as I like to refer to it as “getting the stupid cut out”) and my hubby had rented Julie and Julia for me. I love this movie. When Julie said (forgive my paraphrasing) “I could do a blog. I can write.” I thought, “Hey! So can I.”. Then the ever present fear reared it’s ugly head. What will people say? What will people think? Will anyone read it? People will laugh and think it’s stupid. (Hey, I said I got the stupid cut out…it took a few years for the remnants of it to leave my brain.). Fast forward 2.5 years later, with trembling fingers, I typed out WordPress into the Google search engine and with butterflies in my stomach I began my adventure in blogging.

You see, I, like many of us, was letting fear decide my fate. Fear is ugly and this blog is about beauty, not just about the newest and most awesome conditioning treatment on the market (Joico Kpak Revitaluxe…had to say it) but about everything that makes us beautiful, our inner and outer beauty, our idiosyncrasies.

This week, I don’t know if it is because the universe has blessed us with two full moons in August, I have heard so many women saying I can’t, or what if, or I hate and fill in the blank. I think I have given out more hugs and words of encouragement this week than hair products. No judgement here ladies, I have been that girl, and she is a sad and lonely girl. I am here to tell you that you can do whatever you want. You can. Be it blogging or running a marathon or going back to school. You can do it. You must be patient – that is the toughest part – trust me – when I want something, I want it now…had to learn patience and trust me, I would have rather been back in grade 8 woodworking class with the teacher that was missing two fingers and teaching me to use a jigsaw than learn patience. Once you embrace patience and let go of the fear…wow…the life of your daydreams slowly becomes your reality.

Like I have said before, people are gonna talk no matter what you do, so why not really give ’em something to talk about. It’s time to be who you are meant to be, it is time to stop trying to be like someone else – that job is already taken. It is time to let go of the fear of what could be and time to anticipate what can be. (and if you use Kpak Revitaluxe your hair will look and feel fabulous).

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Sugar and spice and everything…nice?

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When I was a young girl I always preferred to play with the boys. We always had fun and there wasn’t ever any drama. When boys had a problem with each other, they told each other to shut up or hit each other and it was over. Gone and forgotten. It was awesome. Girls always seemed to be mean, never let anything go, too much trouble and too much drama – so I just went and played football with the boys. I always wondered where the drama came from. Where did it begin? Was it taught or just a part of the female DNA. I think I have the answer…I saw it happen before my own eyes.

There I was, humming along with Dylan Wickens and the Grand Naturals (proud to say – a childhood friend that thanks to facebook has re entered my life) and counting RUSK W8Less Plus hairspray for inventory. (I am a HUGE blues fan and missed the blues festival  because I was covering for my PTG (part time girl) so I brought in their CD, next best thing.). I hear the familiar chirp of the door. I look up and say “Hello Ladies! How are we today?” to which I hear “We would be better if she had better hair and my butt wasn’t so big.”. (I kid you not, that is what she said.). A mother and daughter, hating themselves and everything about being a woman. Not only did they continue to pick each other apart, the mother was picking apart women I can only assume were her friends. “Oh my gawd! Can you believe she thinks she can actually get that promotion?”, “Did you see what she was wearing – loses weight and now she is God’s gift – by the way, you could stand to lose a few pounds” and countless other nasty things. I stopped paying attention because I was beginning to lose I.Q. points being that close to such idiotic behavior. Yeah, I said it, IDIOTIC. I mean seriously, what kind of example is that?  The mother may have been in her early 40’s and the daughter couldn’t have been more than 10. As I watched them the way you watch a car wreck, I realized something. We as women need to change.

As women, we need to be raising each other up, we need to be praising each other and celebrating each other’s accomplishments – be it losing 10 pounds or landing that promotion. So me being me, I walked over and asked if they needed my help. I complimented the young girl on her pretty face and beautiful long hair to which the mom barked out “Yeah, but look how oily it is!” to which I responded “Oh, that’s normal honey, all girls have that trouble in their early teens and this shampoo (Senscience Specialty shampoo) will fix it right up, and a dry shampoo (Quantum Invisible dry shampoo) can help too.” to which the girl smiled and the mother scowled.

As Maya Angelou has written, we teach people how to treat us. It’s time to re-educate ourselves and women everywhere. We cannot change people but we can change how we deal with them. When you see a group of women cutting someone down, say something nice about their verbal victim. When you see a woman belittling her daughter, catch the girl’s eye and smile at her, give her a wink and shrug your shoulders – let her know it’s not her and not all women are mean. I know women that are still upset at someone for something that happened in high school – 25 years ago.

Ladies, it is time to let it go. It is time to be nice. It is time…feminists forgive me… to take a lesson from the men. Men confront the situation at hand, deal with it and move on. Doesn’t that sound lovely?

 

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

Self Help and bad hair

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You all know I LOVE hair products and everything that has to do with beauty. I am also a sucker for books, book stores actually. The shiny covers, the smell of freshly pressed prose, the staff picks of fiction, the tunes that echo throughout the store that you can’t help but hum along with, ahhh…the book store. Yes, I admit, I do find myself wondering if I will run into Kathleen Kelly or Joe Fox. ( You’ve got mail…enough said). Anyway, back to the tale at hand. As I was wandering through the store humming along to Adele and daydreaming as I often do that we meet and become life long friends, I ended up in front of the Self Help section. I just stood there, captivated by what I saw. Every single person in that section had bad hair. Yeah, I said it. I couldn’t look away, and as I stood there I had what Miss. Oprah would call a light bulb moment. They may have been looking for an answer for a happy marriage or how to come out of the closet, but they were also wishing their hair looked better. (You know they were…we all have those days.) The right color, cut and product may not solve all your issues, but good hair is a good start.

I know, it’s what is inside that counts. How dare I say such things out loud or put in print for that matter. Yes, I do agree wholehearted that it is what is inside that counts. I also believe that if you like the way you look, it can make for a better day. I stress what you see and what you like. It  took everything in me not to rope the crowd in Self Help together and take them back to my shop and teach them how do to their hair. I mean seriously, even Dr. Phil would look at the hair that hadn’t been brushed in a week and say “how’s that workin’ for ya?”. It isn’t just about  looking good, it’s about taking time for you. Think about it, if you take the time to do your hair and/or makeup, you have just set aside 10 – 30 minutes just for you and you alone. I am a firm believer that healing begins when you make yourself a priority, even if only for a few minutes a day. If you don’t like the reflection in the mirror, no Self Help book is going to help. Trust me, I know of what I speak, that is another tale for another time.

Brush your hair, wash your face. Grab that flat iron and iron out that frizz. Put on some lip gloss. Take a minute for yourself. Think of it this way, if you like your hair it is one less thing that you need help with, and one less thing is always a good thing.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Visually impaired

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I really did mean to write about Dry Shampoo’s today, that tale will have to wait until another day. I had an experience this week that I felt needed to be shared. I know, “where are the beauty tips oh guru of products?” is what you are thinking. Bear with me my lovelies, those tales will be told, today I have another tale to tell.

I hear the familiar chirp of the door chime and look up to see a Mom and her daughter. The daughter looked lost and the Mom looked exhausted and distraught, and they were standing in front of the hair color. I wandered over and asked if they needed a hand. The daughter, a pretty girl of 15 who didn’t realize how pretty she was told me she wanted to change her hair color. She had been coloring it black and thought she should lighten it up. I told her it would be best not to attempt to do it herself and told her the potential outcomes of doing so. The poor thing, her eyes welled up and her lip started to quiver. I asked her if she was okay and if she had anything else to ask. She just stared at me. I said “Oh honey, you look like you need to say something. Ask me anything, there are no stupid questions.”, to which she began to tell me that she liked her hair but felt like it was wrong and didn’t know what to think or what to do or what to like. Memories of 15 year old anguish flooded my mind. We have all been that girl and it is not fun. I told her that if she liked her hair, that was okay. That she looked great with that hair color and not to worry about what others think or say. I told her that I couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be for young women today because I remember how much being 15 sucked.(Yes, I said sucked – I am hip to today’s jive.). She began to smile. Then I said “Honey, people are gonna talk no matter what. There are people that no matter what you do it won’t be good enough. I am sure that back in Jesus’s day people thought he didn’t turn water into wine fast enough” to which she laughed out loud. After talking a little longer, she left with a smile and a spring in her step and our card if she felt like making an appointment because she wanted one. As they walked out the door the Mom mouthed thank you.

It’s been a few days since I met her yet I can’t stop thinking of her. We have all been that girl. Hell, I have been that girl. Unsure of myself, wondering what is wrong with me – why can’t I be like everyone else? So many women and a few gents have become visually impaired – we cannot see the beauty that is within us or the beauty in our reflection because we decided to listen to everyone else’s opinions, not our own. I am here to tell you, like I told that girl – you are awesome just as you are. Be what you want, dye your hair whatever color you want, paint your nails electric neon yellow (like yours truly). Listen to yourself, the answers are there waiting to be uncovered. You know what you want. It is okay to know what you want and refuse to settle for anything less.

We have all been that girl, now it is time to help that girl. See her. Raise her up. Celebrate her.