Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Year End Review

December 30, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 2 Comments

As the end of 2014 creeps forward and the glimpse of 2015 is on the horizon, my Facebook news feed is flooded with everyone’s “year review” and my Twitter feed is flooded with everyone’s “New Years Resolutweet” …(my word…I like it.). I have women coming in the shop proclaiming their resolution to be a better friend, to be a better parent, to be a better wife, to make more time for others. I have yet to hear anyone tell me what they are going to do for themselves. Yeah, I said it, for themselves. It may seem like the above resolutions are for ourselves, depending on the intention, most of the time, they are not. Becoming a better friend for your friend’s sake, becoming a better parent like Susie’s mom or becoming a better wife – a wife you think your spouse wants is not making a resolution for yourself. Ladies and Gents, if you do not make yourself priority #1, no matter what you may resolve to do in 2015 and the years there after, it will never seem like enough, you will always feel like you came up short. For those of you familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I know of what I speak. I was that woman. The woman who put everyone and everything ahead of herself. The woman who made everyone’s problems and woes her own – be it her husband’s issues with his boss to her child’s issues with the mean girls, if a problem arose, yours truly would swoop in, take it on and fix it…and I was empty and exhausted.

Now, I am not an expert by any means. I am not a prophet nor the guru on the mount. I am a woman who has struggled with self image and self esteem. I have been a woman who tried to live up to the Norman Rockwell images only to end up feeling like I had more in common with Norman Bates. I have been the woman who truly believed Martha Stewart, that if I had the right flatware that all would be right in the world. I was the woman who bought every exercise VHS tape and DVD proclaiming “I will be one of their success stories!” only to be sitting in front of the TV screen, winded and giving the chipper barbie instructor the finger. A few years ago, after getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy) and removing my head from my ass, I realized that resolutions are stupid and instead of making a resolution, I would make a change.

Making a change can be scary, down right terrifying actually. I remember one early morning, my hubby and girl were still asleep. I was sipping my morning coffee and thinking of the petty remarks about my weight loss, like “Oh…trying to become a cougar?”, my blog “what a cute hobby for you” and my professional achievements “she’s just the manager” when I came across this quote “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It is lethal”. – Paulo Coelho. I realized that all the changes I had made for myself – be it my weight loss, chasing my dream of blogging and consulting and taking pride in my position at the shop were the right changes to make. I realized that I was receiving more positive feed back and support than negative. I was surrounded by those who wanted to see me thrive and I them. I realized that those who made me feel selfish for making myself a priority were upset because they were no longer my first priority.

A little proof that making yourself a priority is worth it…since making myself a priority I have been featured on http://www.salonmagazine.ca – my most viewed article to date

http://www.salonmagazine.ca/en/news/1282-3-salon-fails-sales-rep-sees-don-t-tell-you-about.html

and have been fortunate enough to be featured in their magazine

I have been featured in Piidea’s September/October buyers guide

I was invited to the Contessa’s once again by the Beauties at Piidea

My pictures have been featured on Joico’s Instagram feed

…not to mention some pretty FAB! connections and followers on Twitter – check it out @grlintheredcoat

Now, before you think that there is no way you can make yourself a priority and be a good mother, wife, friend, employee – take your pick…give your head a shake. It is possible. If you want it all RIGHT NOW! – give your head another shake. It’s going to take some time. The events mentioned above took over 2 years. Be patient. Make a plan and stick to it. Let your loved ones know, keep them in the loop – not doing so is mean and unthoughtful – plain and simple. Think about it – how can they support you if they do not know what they are supporting? Remember that others are trying to make themselves a priority too and, it is not all about you. Just because you didn’t get a text back 2 seconds after you sent it doesn’t mean you are unloved. Having dinner plans cancelled or altered doesn’t mean you are getting the brush off – sometimes life really does get in the way.

Be kind. Be thoughtful. Take a minute for yourself. Make a change.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

Tales of Truth Part…oh I give up

October 18, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 3 Comments

Gather ’round ladies and gents, boys and girls, it’s that time once again! Time for That Girl in the Red Coat’s Tales of Truth. Now, I don’t know if the planets are misaligned, or if their is a glitch in the Matrix, lately, I have been privy to some interesting events and antics. Maybe the public at large has gotten wind of my Tales of Truth series and is hoping to be mentioned…sweet baby Jesus, I hope so.

– I heard a bang on the front window of the shop. As I looked over to see what it was, I saw a Mother applying hand sanitizer after touching the trash can lid outside the neighboring shop, all the while her toddler was banging her fists on the window as she was licking it. ….wait for it…there you go.

– A woman came in for some hairspray. As I was ringing through her purchase, she farted. Then farted again. Then again. She just stared at me, didn’t even blink. No “excuse me”. No “too much Sushi I guess”. Nothing, Just stared at me.

– I had a woman ask me if I sold a “less toxic” hairspray. So I asked her if she meant a more environmentally friendly or vegan hairspray. She answered “I just need a hairspray that will stop my son from growing breasts.”. Before I spoke, I silently told myself “don’t show it on your face” and said “Pardon me?” to which she said, “Yes, he is a teen boy getting breasts.”. I asked her if she had seen his doctor and she told me she had taken him and the doctor thought her son should become more active and cut out the junk food, but she wanted to be on the safe side and make sure his hair product wasn’t adding to the problem. …sigh

– at our shop we focus our retail on hair products and nail products. We do not carry cosmetics. I had a woman come in looking for lipstick, I let her know I do not sell lipstick or any cosmetics and gave her the name of a few shops where she could find what she was looking for. She asked me if she gave me a list, could I call around to those shops for her and find out if they had what she wanted. I politely told her I could not, but offered to find the phone numbers for her and she could call. I was told I offered poor customer service and she left.

– We sell human hair extensions. The brand we sell has pictures of women on the package that are of mixed descent – Asian, African, Indian, you name it. I had a woman ask me why I didn’t sell hair for white people. I shit you not – it’s 2014 and people like this still exist. After I checked for the hooded white sheet (yeah, I said it), I let her know that the hair I sell is for every woman, of every color and creed.

– A woman asked if she could put her toddler on the back counter as she shopped. I told her no, and that it wasn’t store policy. She tried to assure me he would sit still if I was worried he’d fall off the counter. ….double sigh.

That’s it Beauties…that’s all I got for today…makes me tired 😉

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Breathe

August 18, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

breathe – (verb) – to take air, oxygen into the lungs and expel it; inhale and exhale; respire. – to pause, as for breath; take rest.

Breathing. Something we do everyday. We inhale. We exhale. … but what about that pause and take rest part? From what I am seeing and hearing everyday, many of us, including yours truly, remember to breathe in and out but forget about pausing, and taking rest.

The shop opened at 9:30 a.m.. By 10 a.m. I had 6 phone calls, all of which were women looking for a certain product and before I could answer their questions all of them were either panicking, yelling at their kids in the background or speaking over me and telling me;

– why they couldn’t get in today because they had to get their kids to camp, the groceries, the dentist appointments…you name it.

– why they didn’t come by on the weekend – too busy, too much to do.

– that they were too busy to call any other time – too busy, too many other calls to make.

– that their family was over for a vacation and they had been too busy taking care of everyone else and forgot about their hairspray

– that they were too stupid to notice they were out of shampoo – yes…a woman with a shaky voice actually said those words to me.

My rep. was in the shop as all these calls were coming in. In between each ring of the phone, I would put my hand up, tell my rep.”Excuse me for a minute” and take a deep breath, in and out, and would tell myself, “Breathe Sara…it’s not about you.”. – a hard learned lesson for yours truly. Learning that it is not all about you may be the hardest lesson to learn – with the greatest reward. This past week was a hard one. Not going to get into the details for it is not all about me. I thought I was present, thought I was hearing what was being said, thought I had removed my head from my ass, seems I hadn’t. It is safe to say that it is now completely removed, and I learned a hard lesson – I may have been listening to those around me, but I wasn’t hearing them. I was too busy thinking of the next task at hand, or what my opinion was about what they were saying. I wasn’t completely present. I wasn’t taking a moment to pause.

“…the world went and got itself in a big damn hurry.” – Brooks Hatlen, The Shawshank Redemption. I am not sure when it happened, all of a sudden every moment became so dire. Everyday I meet women who are in a hurry. In a panic. I can’t tell you how many times their purchases, their keys or their kids are left at the front desk, or how many times I see;

– Sighing at the debit machine because it is too slow.

– Yelling at their child because they want to take a moment and look at the pretty nail polishes.

– Almost yanking their child’s arm out of it’s socket because they stopped to look at the candies in the candy dish and asked if they could please have one.

– Their lip starting to tremble as they are texting with one hand and entering their PIN with the other.

– Watching their worry about getting home in time for their favorite T.V. show.

– Demanding I tell them why their favorite product was discontinued and told “I don’t know why you are doing this to me! What am I going to do?”.

Ladies and gents…it’s time to take a breath. It’s time to take a moment to pause, to rest.

– When the debit machine is slow, take it as permission to take a little break in your day.

– When your child is looking at the pretty nail polishes, look with them. Ask them what they think is the prettiest color.

– When your child spies a candy dish and asks politely if they may have one – do not yank their little arm. Thank them for using their manners.

– When paying for a purchase, put down your phone. If the call cannot wait, ask the cashier if you could have a moment. Trying to do these two things at once, in my experience, in front of the counter and behind it…it never ends well.

– Worried about missing the next episode of The Real Housewives of where ever? – that is what on demand, PVR and Netflix is for.

– We all feel cheated when our favorite products are discontinued. Try to remember that stylists and sales people are only the messenger’s. Tell us what you liked about your beloved product and we may be able to find you a suitable replacement. … and trust me, it may feel personal – the company did not discontinue the product to ruin your life. They didn’t.

Take a breath. Take rest. Pay attention to those around you. Pay attention to your surroundings. Set your PVR and take a look at the pretty polishes. Take the time to really listen…it’s amazing what you will hear.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

Can you fix this?

July 14, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

“The bottle promised bright pink hair! Can you fix this?”. “All I asked for was a bob, I didn’t want to look like a Bob! Can you fix this?”. “I was told if I used 40 volume peroxide that my hair would be platinum blonde! Can you fix this?”. These, among others, are common questions posed to me and my stylists at least once a day. At some point in our lives, we have taken our hair into our own hands and realized, oh…that’s why I am not a hair stylist. The great thing about all hair mishaps? They can be fixed. Color can be corrected. Damage from over processing can be repaired with conditioning treatments. Curls can be defined and their frizz controlled. With time and proper products, even the most botched of cuts can look good. That’s the great thing about the Salon, we can help repair the damage. Sometimes, we can even help repair the damage that isn’t seen.

Unfortunately, there are some things I cannot fix. “Look at her scalp! It’s soooo oily! Can you fix this?”. “She decided to try to color her own hair and now looks like she should be on a street corner! Can you fix this?”. “HMMPPT! He thinks he needs gel for his hair…what a diva I have for a son! Can you fix this?”. Yes, I am sad to say, these are phrases that parents have said, about their children, in front of their children, to me. It is usually at this moment I look the child straight in the eye and tell them “I may not be able to fix everything for you, but I can help you with your hair.” and I give them a wink. Once and for all, to all the parents and care givers out there;

– STOP pointing at your child’s oily scalp and proclaiming it as an injustice against you. The only injustice is against your child’s self esteem

– Do not, I repeat, do not refer to your daughter in a derogatory manner. EVER. How is she ever going to know her self worth if all she hears is worthless remarks.

– Young men want to like their reflection too. To make fun of a young man who wants his hair styled just so is mean,plain and simple. I don’t know where it began, teasing men that take pride in their appearance, but I know where it is going to end. Right here. Right now.

– When your teen wants to try a new hairstyle, let them. It’s only hair. It will grow back. Here’s a thought…if the only struggle you are facing with your teen is that they want a mohawk…this is a good problem to have.

– If your child wants to have pink hair, I highly recommend trying hair chalk – Kevin Murphy Color Bug or Joico Structure Pigment Pencils – the color washes out after one wash. It’s a win/win. Your child gets to have fun colors in their hair without the damage and you get to have a tantrum free day.

– For your curly haired cherubs – First, stop referring to their head as a tangled horrible mess. Second, invest in Salon Professional products. DevaCurl is an amazing product line, created for curls of every type. Check out the awesome tutorials on their website http://www.mydevacurl.com

– If your son wants long hair – do not tell him long hair is for girls. If your daughter wants short hair – do not tell her short hair is for boys. If you are worried about what people will think, sorry to tell you this, that is your problem – not your child’s. *this being said, as their parent, be sure to help them style their hair, or have the stylist teach them.

I am a mother and I have put my foot in it many times, of that I am certain. Another certainty…that I have needed to apologize on many an occasion, not necessarily for what I said, but how I said it. As parents, we teach our children to think before they speak. I think it’s time we taught ourselves the same lesson.

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

…it just isn’t practical

June 21, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

Last week as I was scrolling through my twitter feed, I came across a link to a commencement speech delivered by Jim Carrey. Something he said has resonated in me ever since… “so many of us choose our path out of fear…disguised as practicality.”.

As you all know, I am the manager of a Salon/retail shop. I am also a wife, a mother and a daughter. I am also a person who used to think I was making the responsible choices, the practical choices when it came to my life decisions, be it a new hair style, a new hair color, what car to buy, what job to take, hell…even when was the proper time to introduce my child to the horror movie genre. Since entering my forties and getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy) I have come to realize most of my decisions were not based on practicality. They were based on fear of judgement, fear of ridicule, fear of non acceptance. They were made by fear, disguised as practicality. ( I will be forever grateful to Jim Carrey for putting into words a thought that I could not articulate). I am also a person who no longer allows fear to make my decisions and am here to tell you that you also can be such a person.

Everyday at the shop, I am sad to say, I hear someone, man , woman or child – take your pick, give up and give into fear, disguised as practicality. A few people stand out in my mind.They have since become customers of the shop and some have become clients of our Salon. Here are their tales.

A woman came in the shop and stood staring at the display of the Babyliss Miracurl. (an awesome styling tool – full head of curls in 10 minutes!). I asked her if she had any questions or if she needed a hand finding something. She let me know that she had always wanted to have curly hair. I asked her if she wanted to try our demo model to which she said “I better not. I have been told in the past that curls will make my face look fatter than it already is. …and people would just think I am trying to look younger than I am.”. So I asked her “Do you think that your face will look fatter?”. She said no. So I told her to go ahead and curl her hair and not give anyone else’s negative opinions a second thought. Then I pulled my hair back to the side and showed her how I shaved the underside of my hair…because I like it. She smiled and bought a curling iron.

A gentleman came into the shop. He asked me if anyone else was in the shop because he wanted to speak to me about his receding hairline and didn’t want anyone else to know about it. I let him know it was just him and I. He let me know that he had been concerned about his hair loss for a while, but thought trying to do something about it would make him seem vain and that he would be seen as an old man wasting his money. I reassured him that it was not vain – wanting to be happy and wanting to like your reflection is not vain, he was not wasting his money – Nioxin is an award winning system to help prevent hair loss and promote a healthy scalp and that he was not old – 100 is old, not 62. We spent 20 minutes going over the products and I showed him their website. He thanked me for my professionalism, and for not laughing at him, like others before me had done. He left with product in hand and a spring in his step.

A young woman came in the shop to buy some shampoo. We got to chatting and she told me how she had a chance to move out west and go to school. I congratulated her and asked when she was leaving. She said she wasn’t going to go. I asked her “Why not?”. She told me that she didn’t know anyone out there and wouldn’t know how to get around the city. I asked her “In a perfect world…would you go?” to which she said “Yes.”. I told her “There’s your answer. You gotta go. You will meet people. You can use the GPS on your phone to find your way around.” to which she smirked a little. I reminded her this is the perfect time to go and try something for herself – no kids, no marriage, no mortgage, no ties. I reminded her, she can always come back. I am happy to say, she came in last week to stock up on her favorite hairspray, in case they don’t have it in Vancouver.

Ladies and gents, it’s time to become a little more impractical. It is time to let go of the fear of the unknown, the fear of judgement, the fear of ridicule. It is time to remove all the excuses from your mind’s itinerary – the excuses that shout; What will people think? What will the neighbors say? I can’t because of the kids, I can’t because of my parents, I am too old, I am too young, I can’t. …we all have ’em. It’s time to begin listening for the whispers of; I can. Go for it. Try. …those whispers are there. Once you remove the shouts, and remove the practicality, remove the fear, the whispers are heard.

If I was being practical, I wouldn’t be telling you this tale, I wouldn’t be married to the love of my life, I wouldn’t be the mother to a fantastic and beautiful daughter, I wouldn’t be the manager of a Salon/retail shop, I wouldn’t be me. I would be the version of me that fear dictated…and quiet frankly, it just isn’t practical.

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, music, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

My Dad, Meatloaf and me

June 15, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 1 Comment

After 22 years, the retail gods have smiled upon me and yours truly has Saturday’s off from the Salon – a rare occurrence in our industry. At our shop I am needed more from Monday to Friday, as the owner is in the shop every Saturday if a customer service issue should arise. As I was running errands yesterday, the sunshine warming my soul, windows down, a fresh cool breeze blowing my hair out of my face, a song came on the radio that catapulted me back to 1977, Camaro’s, Meatloaf’s Bat out of Hell and memories of my Dad. Those of you familiar with my tales know of my musical references – My love of music comes from my Dad. He would blare Bat out of Hell with the windows down in the Camaro.(for a 7 year old driving past the cute boy’s house…this was a BIG deal). He would sing along to The Guess Who and Gordon Lightfoot. He would play me chords of his favorite Beatles songs on his guitar. He taught me the difference between Bach and Bachman Turner Overdrive.

I am going to give you all a little glimpse behind the curtain. Who I am today has a lot to do with my Dad. (to the rest of my clan…calm down…love you too…). You see, I was not your typical little girl. Sure, I played with Barbie’s, I would dress them up, have them pretend to go on dates. I would also pretend that they were beating up bullies and would get out my markers and draw a black eye on the receiver of the final blow. I didn’t like wearing dresses…unless it was my birthday or there was a promise of a photo op. (when I was little I firmly believed that a movie director would see me one day and say “finally…we found her”.). I was the kid who beat up the bullies or took down the kid hurting the neighbourhood cats. I was also the kid who slept with 20 stuffed animals (my protector’s from things that go bump in the night) and every so often went to bed wearing my housecoat and slippers in case there was a fire, I was prepared. I loved sports and was known to twirl after I scored a goal or hit a home run. I could go from Rocky Balboa to Dorothy Gale in 3.2 seconds…and my Dad never tried to change that. Ever. Even throughout my turbulent teens, hell, my early adulthood, he always gave me a soft place to fall. My Dad let me be whoever I had to be at the time. He forgave my anger. He let me have my anger without judgement. My Dad gave me the space and the time to find myself…the person he always knew I was, just that I had forgotten.

Whenever I am feeling a little lost, or can’t seem to get past a block in the road, I listen to Meatloaf. Yep. Meatloaf. With my headphones on and the tunes cranked up, unbeknowst to my Dad (until now), I am reminded of who I am. I am that girl who can do anything she wants, be anything she wants and am off like a Bat out of Hell.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Deal with it.

May 18, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 1 Comment

The last month has been a real eye opener, not only at the Salon, but everywhere I look, and with every conversation I have. Maybe the planets are aligned..or misaligned for that matter. Maybe it is due to getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy). Maybe it is that I am on the cusp of my 42nd birthday…who knows. All I know is this, “If you don’t deal with your shit…your shit is gonna deal with you” (came across this a few months ago…and ain’t it the truth). From a woman who thought that becoming a blonde at home would be nice & easy and make her partner take notice, a woman thinking that a pixie cut was all she needed to make her boss see her worth for that promotion to V.P. of marketing and a woman thinking she had everything under control because she made a list everyday…I have seen it all. What did they all have in common? Masking the real issues…not dealing with their shit. No amount of box dye will fix the problems in the bedroom, or will take chocolate brown tresses to platinum blonde. A great hair cut may get you some attention, but a great head shot does not a great V.P. make. As for the list maker, sure, you may be organized, but as you check off “sew button on shirt”, your child may have hurt feelings that need mending. You checked off “pick up cupcakes” for the family celebration…but you weren’t present. “Pick up prescriptions” -checked off, listened to hubby’s response to how he was feeling – but didn’t really hear him. Ladies & Gents, I know of what I speak, for yours truly is the list maker. It took me almost 42 years, I finally realized, lists are great, for the grocery store, for daily chores. They are meant to keep your tasks organized – not your life. Big difference. HUGE.

Sorry to disappoint, I will not be sharing the personal tales of my own shit dealing with me – for not all the tales are mine to share and I respect the privacy of my beautiful girl and my lovely hubby. The purpose for today’s tale is to remind you, and myself to ease up, slow down, pay attention and be present. It is true Beauties – if you don’t deal with your shit…your shit is gonna deal with you – and your shit doesn’t care what time of day, where you are or who you are with…it’s gonna pop up and deal with you. So take it from me, it’s best to deal with it, what ever it may be. Shit ain’t always pretty – hence the fitting name – shit. It’s gotta be dealt with. It’s gotta be said. It’s gotta be hashed out, then it’s gotta be put down and left there. Not just for those you love, but for yourself.

– want to spice it up in the boudoir? Talk to your partner…sometimes renting a movie (nudge nudge, wink wink) is all you need to get new idea’s brought up…pun intended.

– if your partner thinks blondes are more fun, save yourself the cost of a color correction and buy a wig – trust me…they aren’t looking at your hair color… they’re not.

– want that new promotion? Get your credentials together. Put together a presentation about you and why they need you – not why you need them.

– when someone is speaking to you, listen to them. Really hear them. Put down your phone, look up from your laptop, mute the television and pay attention. If you aren’t listening, you can miss what is being said, and damage can be done, feelings can be hurt.

– when someone is ill or has a health issue – let them bring it up. They know what they are going through, they know how they are feeling. They do not need to be reminded of it, with every conversation.

– when your child wants to speak to you, stop and listen. It may be about the cute puppy they saw on YouTube or it may be about the funny thing their bff said. It may also be about how they are feeling about their reflection…pay attention.

As for lists, if you have to make a list, remember it is only a piece of paper with some things written on it. It will not explode in 10 minutes if all tasks are not crossed off by 2 p.m. …something I gotta remember.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, music, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Hold Factor

April 14, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

I really was going to tell a tale of hairspray and the difference between the level of hold, or hold factor different sprays have, alas, that will have to be another tale for another time. As I began to write about hold factors, I found myself thinking about the hold factor of people, emotions and thoughts we allow in our lives. …what can I say, I have had 4 cups of coffee and this is how my mind works. As you know, I manage a Retail shop/Salon. The Salon is a place that men and women come to feel better about themselves, to improve their reflection, to find what was once lost. Some days, ours is a place of refuge from the pushes and pulls of their daily lives. It is their escape from whatever may have a hold on them that day – be it a sick child, an aging parent and more often than not, an escape from what they really think of themselves – or what they think they are supposed to think of themselves.

For those of you familiar with my Salon Tales, you know that I haven’t always been the confident, classy, sassy and a tad smart-assy woman that I am today. I have been the young woman who missed out on trips to the beach because I wasn’t “beach body ready”. I have been the woman who was afraid to leave the house without her make up on. I have been the mother feeling like a failure because I thought it was protocol to drop my child off at the Birthday party, not stay and stand in line for my turn at pin the tail on the donkey. …speaking of which, whatever happened to dropping your kid off at their friends birthday party and picking them up when the party is over?…back to the tale at hand. I have been the woman who was judged because her 3 year old daughter knew the words to Domino by KISS. I have been the woman who put her dreams on the back burner out of fear of judgement from those who told me that “as a mother, to be fulfilled, your children should be enough.”. – now I know that they were drinking their own kool aid. …wait for it…there you go.

Today’s tale is aimed at all the Ladies and Gents (yes Gents – men have hold factors too Ladies), to remind you that you are enough, that you are worth what ever you think you are worth – and only your opinion matters.

– For all the mothers out there – we are supposed to be in this together. If you are a stay at home mom or a working mom – we love our kids the same, we have the same worries and hopes for our children, we our mothers – no better, no worse. I stayed home with my daughter until she was 5 – that was a personal choice that worked best for my family. Never once did I shun the working mom – if anything I asked if she needed my help. An additional tale for your viewing pleasure;

Beware of yoga pants & ponytails

– Do you have a dream? Is there something you have always wanted to do, ever since you can remember? Then do it. As parents, the best thing we can do for our children is pursue our passions and chase our dreams. How are our children going to learn to dream if we don’t show them how?

– Go to the beach. Just go. Forget about being “beach body ready” and go and have fun. No matter what your weight or bust size – we all get sand in our suits.

– Unless your name is on the birthday invitation to little Johnny’s birthday party – you do not have to stay at the party. Trust me, the parents that frown when you drop off your child and ask “what time should I pick them up?” are wishing they had the guts to do the same.

– Ladies and Gents – let your spouses/partners choose the hair style they like, that they feel most comfortable with, that makes them feel desirable. It doesn’t matter how good you think a certain cut will look on them if it makes them feel ugly and inadequate.

– The above goes for stylists as well. Never let a stylist tell you what cut you should have. It is a stylist’s job to help you find the look you want, not tell you the look you want. If you aren’t sure about making a drastic change with your hair, don’t do it.

– I once read that “worrying is praying for what you don’t want” – remember that the next time you worry about the opinions of others.

– If you want to change your hair color – go for it.*at the Salon. Becoming a blonde was the best thing I ever did. It hides my gray’s and I do have a lot of fun …proving that blondes are NOT dumb.

– Introduce your children to music, from Mozart to Metallica. Music will open their minds and lift their spirits, no matter what the genre.

In the wee small hours of the morning, all that matters is what you think. All that matters is you have done your best and that you will continue to strive for better. All that matters is that you are kind. All that should be important is what you deem to be so. The only hold factor you should be concerned about is the hold factor of your favorite styling product.