Beauty, health and wellness, Parenting past 15, That girl in the red coat

Sunday Confessions

 

 

“Isn’t it strange that we talk least about the things we think about the most?” – Charles Lindbergh

I am a lover of quotes. I have been for as long as I can remember. Quotes and sayings that grabbed my attention or the attention of others were and still are my favorites. I fondly remember shopping with my mother in a gift shop in Elora Ontario. I was 8 years old and fancy shoe laces were all the rage. The shop had a display of them and as I was looking at them and planning my performance to my mother in hopes of getting her to buy me a pair, my eyes landed on a pair of laces that I thought were the letters of the alphabet…they weren’t the letters of the alphabet…they read “BULLSHIT”. I giggled and gasped at the same time. My mother came over and I threw caution to the wind and told her I found a pair I liked. I pointed them out to her, she read them and laughed out loud, took them off the display and bought them for me. I wore my “BULLSHIT” shoelaces with pride, to school, to the playground, even to my grandparents house. Back to the tale at hand.

The above quote I came across a few days ago on Instagram and have not been able to stop thinking about it. It made me think of all the things that I think about, but do not say. Sure I make a sarcastic quip to lighten the mood, and will give my honest opinion when asked, I do not however always talk about what is going on behind the scenes. I put on my game face and head on out the door. Over the past weeks, being given time to actually complete a thought and do some soul searching via conversations with friends and finding a fabulous book -Rising Strong by Brene Brown, I have been able to, slowly but surely, leave the house without my game face. What you see is what you get. I have been able to shed my skin of shame (as I like to call it) and just be me. Becoming honest with myself is allowing me to become honest with those around me. So many of us are dealing with some type of pain or anguish yet feel shame for doing so. Let the shame go, it’s a waste of energy, it serves no purpose. Sharing your stories will set you free, your stories may even set someone else free for they will realize they are not alone. For the naysayers out there I have a perfect example, a personal one.

My daughter deals with anxiety and depression. Her high school years were not gentle and kind. Over the years we tried to get her some help to deal with her thoughts and feelings, to no avail. It was frustrating to say the least, not only for her, but as her Mother for it is my job to protect her, to show her there is good in the world. How was I to get her to believe that when one door closes another opens when every door seemed to slam in her face? Over the years we did our best to support her, all the while telling her to speak to someone. She didn’t trust the system for it had failed her so many times before. Finally, God, the powers that be, the Smurfs, whichever you want to believe in heard our plea, saw our efforts and a door opened, my daughter was heard, was taken seriously and is slowly but surely gaining control of herself, her emotions and her anxiety. I know, I hear you …”what’s your point? Where’s your example?”. Here it is. Last year while working with my friend at her shop, a friend of hers came in for her morning Matcha. She looked exhausted. She looked distraught. She was on the verge of tears. I overheard her conversation with my friend, it was about her daughter. She was 17, not eating, depressed, anxious, couldn’t make it through the day at high school. Her Mother was at a loss and didn’t know what to do. I went over, excused myself for entering the conversation and told her I felt I needed to. My voice was shaking as I told her about my daughter. Why was my voice shaking? What was so wrong about speaking the truth? It was at that moment I realized that I was blaming myself for my daughter’s anxieties and in turn by doing so was making her issues about me, which serves no purpose and does not help my daughter in any way, shape or form. As I was speaking to this woman, her tears slowed, her breathing calmed, my voice stopped shaking and we both felt lighter. I told her “Don’t do what I did. This is not your fault and we have to remember this is not about us. I am here to tell you there is light at the end of this tunnel. It will get better”. I went home that day and told my daughter about the conversation and I apologized to her. I apologized for always trying to fix it, that I realized all the while I was trying to make it better for her, because of my fear and shame of being seen as a bad Mother, I was not helping at all. By speaking my truth to another, I let go of my feelings of shame I hadn’t even realized I was carrying and I released another of their feelings of shame.

We all have stories that ain’t so pretty. We all know someone, or are ourselves dealing with;

  • loss
  • divorce
  • addiction
  • mental health issues
  • parenting issues – form having your toddler ripping off it’s diaper to having to put a parent in diapers.
  • are we doing enough
  • are we doing too much
  • bad hair day meltdown

…the list is endless. Here’s the deal Beauties. There is no shame in speaking your truth, what ever it may be. In the immortal words of Dr. Suess ” Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”.

 

 

 

 

Beauty, Business, communication, entertainment, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Tales of Truth…Part 6

Ladies and gents, it’s that time again…tales of truth. To be clear, yes all the following events have happened to me personally, and no I don’t make these things up…sometimes, more than you know, I wish I did. I checked the calender and the full moon will not be upon us until the 29th. this month so I can only imagine what may be in store in the coming weeks. (By the way…most of the following events happened in one day. Yep. One day…yesterday. It was raining all day so if this is what rainy day people are like guess who will never live in Seattle.)

– Arrived at work by 8:45 a.m.. First phone call of the morning – A customer had shopped at the pet store next to our shop on the weekend Β and bought a light bulb there. Then she came into our shop Β and my ptg (part time girl) offered to put the light bulb in her bag. I guess once she get home the light bulb was missing. She called to ask if we had it. I told her we did not. I checked our lost and found and it was not there. She proceeded to tell me “well, it’s not in my car. It’s not in my bag. It’s not anywhere to be found.”. I told her that I didn’t have it either. She had a hard time accepting this…again with the Dr. Suess rendition of where is my light bulb. To be clear…we offer many services at our shop/salon…holding light bulbs hostage is not one of them.

– I live in Canada and the Ontario government makes me charge HST on products. I had a customer yell at me about the HST. Not about the government making me charge the tax, that I personally charge the tax and that I am not being fair to the consumer. Did I mention that is now only 9:45 a.m.?

– A woman got quite angry with me, her hands were shaking like she had just found her savior, because Goldwell had changed their packaging and reformulated the mousse she liked. It is now 10:15 a.m..

– At my shop, some of my distributor’s are kind enough to offer us a discount, and we like to pass the savings along to our clients/customers, so our prices tend to be about 10 -15 % lower than at other Salons. I had a woman get mad at me because our prices were lower than at her Salon and I couldn’t tell her why they don’t offer a discount. Time – 11:30 a.m..

– A woman wanted a new hairspray and I asked her what kind of hold does she like, to which she responded “What does that have to do with anything? I am looking for hairspray!”. Give it a minute….there you go. (She was thinking I meant another kind of holding I guess…that stuff is sold across the street).

So, to be clear…I will not hold a light bulb hostage, I did not make the decision to charge HST tax, I didn’t tell Goldwell to change their products or packaging, I do not know why other Salons do not help their clients/customers save money and Β the only hold I am interested in is the hold of hairspray.