Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

A Bluming notion…

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I woke this morning, smiled and cheered “hello” to my teenage daughter, grabbed my cup of  joe and my new smartphone and sat down to hear one of my new favorite sounds, a whistle. (my choice of notification notice). I open up my new found twitter account to see some tweets about Judy Blume and all of a sudden I am flooded with childhood memories. Sitting on my butterfly quilt reading “Otherwise known as Sheila the Great” realizing that I too was normal. Reading “Starring Sally J. Freedman as herself” and imaging I was Sally and wondering what it must be like to be her. Sitting in the living room of the house we were about to move from reading “Are you there God? It’s me Margaret” realizing I wasn’t alone and turning 13 was gonna be okay. Being 16 and working on my tan in the backyard reading “Forever” and all the while I was reading it couldn’t believe it was my mother who gave it to me.

As all these memories flooded my mind I came to realize I need to thank Judy Blume. Her books were my friends, they were there no matter what, I could go back to them whenever I needed them, without judgement. You see, she helped me feel normal as I was growing up. I came to realize that I was like some of her character’s and people thought her character’s were pretty and funny and intelligent so that means I must be also. Among others who will be mentioned when the need arises, Judy Blume  helped this woman feel pretty and normal as she was growing up. (I know…quite the “lightbulb” moment while on my first cup of coffee at 6 a.m.).

I am telling this tale today in hopes that it will rekindle the love of yourself (and of reading) and everything that is beautiful about yourself. We all have the younger version of ourselves tucked away and stored in a closet or drawer (I don’t  know how you decorate your house of memories…mine is an old Victorian cottage) and it is time to bring them out into the sun. It is time to remember who we were in our youth – that is who we really are – you know – before the world got at us and tried to tell us who we were and what we should be.

Today, have fun. Laugh. Be who you want to be. I’ll be busy re introducing myself to me and getting my daughter my stash of Judy Blume books.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Bring it on

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We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. – Joseph Campbell

Today’s tale is more of a personal decree. I am hoping today’s tale may help at least one more person out there to have a better day today and even a better day tomorrow.

In recent weeks I have found myself bombarded with negativity. Be it from clients, customers, friends, even squirrels – yes, I have a squirrel that sits in my driveway attempting to play chicken with my car with a “oh you think” glint in his eye. I have had nasty comments made about my hair, my marriage, my life in general. To this I say – BRING IT ON! You see, I am breaking the mold that others had created and people don’t seem to like that. I am now living my life the way I want to live it and in a way that is best for me and in turn for my family.

There was a time that I would have let all this negativity control me, detour me off the path I am supposed to be on. No more. I have come to realize that when someone is happy with their life and improving themselves, most people will try to push you down, hold you back or be generally nasty to you – and that’s ok. Most of the time they are afraid that if you move forward, they will be left behind. If you improve in any aspect of your life, they will be left feeling inadequate. If you have great hair, no one will look at them. If you behave, their rudeness will be seen.

That being said, there are many of us out there like myself that are truly happy for any achievement you may have, be it losing that last 5 pounds, getting the promotion, finally learning how not to get the round brush caught in your hair (something I have yet to master.). When you feel like the world is going crazy, when you feel as though you are being kicked in the teeth or punched in the stomach, when people, even your loved ones mock what it is you are trying to do – stay true to the path you are on, keep on keepin’ on. It’s gonna be hard, even lonely at times, that’s how you know you are doing the right thing and on the right path. When the goin’ gets tough, the tough get goin’. My Dad was right. Again.

 

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Paging Dr. Ruth…

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In these days of Shades of Grey, I feel I must speak about our relationships with our significant other. EVERYDAY, in the salon I hear of someone’s romance woes. How their husband doesn’t pay them enough attention, or that their boyfriend keeps doing the wrong thing, or may all time favorite “we haven’t been intimate in months”. (sometimes I cannot help but wonder if the third complaint listed is not a direct result of the first two.). Now, If you are single, I get it, it is hard for the singles out there. There are a lot of crazies and it seems as though everyone has enough baggage to fill a 747. For those of us in a relationship/marriage, I believe we can be the crazies bringing more baggage into the relationship than we had when it began.

Ladies, and I say ladies because in all honesty we are usually the ones that turn nothing into something. Come on now, lets be honest, we have all been her. You can blame your boss, the kids, PMS, whatever – you know you have done it, started an argument for no real reason. Ladies, it is time to take a breath. Again, a deeper breath this time. Now that I have your attention, listen carefully….It is not your husband’s/boyfriend’s/partner’s job to keep you happy and satisfied – in all areas. Yeah, I said it. Yes, we deserve kindness, honesty, respect and love – everyone does. That being said, it is your responsibility and yours alone to achieve satisfaction and happiness – in all areas (nudge,nudge, wink, wink). It is uncalled for and unfair to expect another human being to make you happy when you are not happy with yourself. It is just plain mean to complain that your significant other doesn’t satisfy your needs when you have never told them what those needs are…come on, even Christian Grey had to ask Miss. Steele what she wanted.

Men are simple creatures – no offense or disrespect implied. All they want is a little peace and quiet, a good sandwich, a little lovin’ and a big T.V.. Oh and just so you know, and your children will someday know -when it come’s to the “bow chica wow wow” they don’t care if your roots are showing, they don’t care if you gained weight, all they care about it that they have a woman in front of them who they love and they get to touch her, plain and simple.

I know, you are thinking “this is supposed to be a blog about beauty” – well this is an important part of beauty. It does not matter how pretty the present is wrapped if the box is empty. It is time to be accountable to ourselves, about ourselves. It is time to be kinder and gentler to ourselves and those we love. It is time to stop having everyone else’s arguments, or blaming our significant other that our lives aren’t what we planned – it is not their fault you are unhappy – Yeah, I said it! It’s true. We teach people how to treat us, so go out there and educate those you love, you may find you learn a little something along the way.

Beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Permission granted

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This tale is for all the women out there that are afraid of their voice. You know who you are. At some point we have all been her. You know the one…the one who keeps her opinions to herself , the one who doesn’t speak her mind, the one who goes along with everything out of fear of rocking the boat. The one who still speaks in a cutesy high pitched voice. The one who hates her hair cut so much she cries on her way home from the Salon but won’t tell her stylist because it might hurt their feelings or the stylist won’t like them anymore.  I know, we have heard all our lives, “be the good girl”, “just smile and be polite”, “boys don’t like girls who talk too much”, “the stylist knows best”. I have come to realize, all these lessons were taught to us out of fear. Our parents, teachers,mentors (take your pick) only knew fear, so that is what the majority of girls were taught, fear. Fear of what may happen if you speak your mind, fear of what may happen if you choose not to go with the flow, fear of being alone. As Maya Angelou says “when you know better, you do better”. Ladies, (and gents), it is time to “do better”.

Every day, I mean EVERYDAY, a woman will come into the shop or the salon, her eyes at the floor, mumbling a request. I make it my personal mission in life to raise these people up. I ask them what they need, what they are looking for and I always get the same response “I don’t know, what do you think?”. In turn I answer “I think you should have pink hair”…and then I give a gentle friendly giggle and tell her I want to help her feel better about her hair. I ask her what picture she has in her head of what she wants her hair to look like. 9 out of 10 women tell me they don’t like the style they have now, that their stylist doesn’t listen to them and that they hate the color of their hair. This is when I tell them “it is time to find your voice”. I reassure them, the world will not open up and swallow them whole if they speak their mind. That if they are able to yell at the girl at the drive thru for getting their coffee order wrong, I think they can talk to their stylist about what they want.

As women, we worry about what people are thinking about us or saying about us. It is time to stop worrying. As my Dad often says “worry is a debt that never comes due”. He’s right. People are going to talk no matter what, it’s what they do. Live the life you want, have the hair style and color you want, wear the clothes you like. Find your voice, embrace it, walk with your head held high, make eye contact. If you are still a little worried you are going to hurt someone’s feelings – get them a present – buy them “knitting for dummies” and tell them “here is your new hobby.”.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

What you see is what you get

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I have decided. I have another mission. I am going to use my blog not only to educate the masses about their hair and the professional products they need to use, I am going to raise up the masses as well. It is time ladies and gents, time to like what you see when you look in the mirror, or when you ponder idea’s of yourself.

If you think you are ugly, guess what? Ugly is the only thing that will come out of your mouth and ugly is all you will ever see, not only in your reflection, but in your daily life. I am not trying to get all “Law of attraction” on you, it is just a fact. There was a time when yours truly thought she was too ugly to go to a Broadway show. Yep, sounds stupid, doesn’t it? I had gotten in my own way. I had let the negative ideas about myself and my looks to take control. Long story short, I went to the show. The car ride there probably wasn’t the best memory for my boyfriend (now my hubby…gotta be true love). I truly thought that when I arrived the doorman or usher would look at me like “what is she doing here?”. I ended up loving the show and no one escorted me out of the building. I actually got a compliment on my dress and hair while powdering my nose. I confessed this to you all so you are all clear – I know of what I speak.

Yes, I admit, we were not all blessed with the beauty of Christie Brinkley (have you seen her?!?! All I can say is  WOW!).I know that we all do not have the athletic abilities of the William’s sisters (..the tennis champions…come on people, keep up with me now.). What we all do have is something unique about us. A cute dimple where no one but you and that special someone knows its location, you can recite 18th. century prose at the drop of a hat, you are a cancer survivor, you can juggle. Whatever it may be, however small and silly you may think it is, it is a part of you and it should be celebrated. I know, I can hear you all now “But people will think I am conceited”, “Oh, that would make me seem too proud”. Now, if you walk around town or post on facebook every hour that you are so awesome…yeah…a little conceit. If you think it…not conceit. That is called liking and loving yourself my friend.

Find that one thing you love about yourself. You have great feet, your hands look like a hand model’s hands, you have long eye lashes so you don’t need mascara, you know 5 languages, you can make a killer pot roast, you can run like the wind blows as Forrest Gump would say. Whatever it is, embrace it. Once you start to truly love one thing about yourself, all of a sudden you will love something else, and so on. If you decide not to see the good things about yourself and decide you are not lovable, one thing I can guarantee – you won’t be seeing many Broadway shows.

Beauty, health and wellness

Do you have a minute?

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As I sit here, enjoying my morning brew, the sun shining on face, my mind keeps wandering back to one thing. Today’s tale is about self worth. Every day at the shop I meet a woman who is a shadow of her former self. There she is, buying pomade for the hubby, flat iron for the daughter, colored gel for the son…nothing for her. As she is keying in her PIN on the debit machine, she utters oh so quietly “oh…don’t look at me…I am a mess…no time for me today.”. Honey, there is always time.

Now, before you go off the deep end or jump on the soap box about how busy you are…..take a breath. If you have time to watch the Jersey Shore or Dr. Phil…why not do your nails while you watch. Got time to check on your crops in Farmville? You have time to check out some beauty advice/ info. blogs… http://www.thatgirlintheredcoat.com  – tell your friends. No time to shop for you? Guess what?!?! You can do it online! Go to http://www.sephora.com – the Mecca of all that is beauty. Professional hair care lines like the ones I have mentioned in previous posts. When you order you get to choose free samples! Samples you get to choose! It is brought to your door! It’s like Christmas – without all the family drama. Yes, I am excited. Trust me, after one visit, you will be hooked. The first time I saw a Sephora Store – I let go of my daughter’s hand (Calm down….my husband was there).

With the right products you can be the woman you know you are on the inside. You know the one…she is the one that won’t shut up, the one that you let kick your butt every time you put yourself last – let’s shut her up. When you are with your stylist – tell him/her your schedule – tell them you need help and ask what products/techniques you should use that can achieve what you want in the least amount of time. They exist people…I can look pretty good in 30 minutes – from in the shower to out the door. ( Yes, I tend to toot my own horn…when you are good at something, do it)

I am a mother. I know the internal struggles we face everyday about who to put first or what to do first. Ladies, it is alright to put yourselves first every now and then – not just for yourself, but for your family and friends. Come on now, admit it. Most arguments or pans being thrown are due to lack of time to ourselves. Save yourself some tears and your family a call to the Mental Health unit. Brush your hair, paint your nails, gloss your lips, go for a run. If the guilt is too great, think of it as teaching your family patience. Let them know that good things come to those who wait for Mom to take a moment.

Beauty, health and wellness

Go ahead….be yourself…it will be alright

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This is more of a reminder than a tale. A reminder that you are wonderful just as you are. Every where you turn, someone or something may make you feel like you need to change or if you have just the right product all will be well and all your dreams will come true.  As Glinda the good witch from the Wizard of OZ told Dorothy – you have had it all the time. You have all the answers, you know how wonderful you are. It’s time to show everyone else.

Don’t be afraid. Don’t worry what others may think. In my experience, the ones who scorn us are the fearful ones, who wish they had the courage to step out into the sunlight, instead they cower in the darkness. As I have said before, the others are probably talking about you already, so give ’em a juicy story to tell. Embrace your faux hawk. Show off your ink. Want to be a blonde? Go for it. Recovering from Chemo? Show of your beautiful baldness or treat yourself to that black bob wig you’ve been eyeing. Paint your cat eyes (not your cat’s eyes….), wear that red lipstick. Dress how you want, man or woman.

If you want a change, make it for yourself, not for anyone or anything else. Love yourself. Embrace the laugh lines – reminders of your happiness, love the wrinkles – proof of a life lived.

The more you become true to yourself, the more your true life begins. The path that you once couldn’t find on a map will reveal itself.

It’s okay to be yourself, you have my permission.