Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Stuart Smalley may have been on to something…

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I am sure after reading some of my blogs some of you are thinking “what’s up with that girl in the red coat? I thought this was supposed to be a blog about  beauty and salon tales.”. We my lovelies, it is. As I have stated before, there is more to beauty than flat irons and hairsprays…although they can be quite helpful. Everyday I see all sides of beauty, from a woman walking in with a bad hair cut which one of our talented stylists transforms into a great cut, to a woman stepping over our threshold in search of herself…someone she lost somewhere along the way and together we find her. I am also a witness to some of the greatest stories and achievements. I love hearing great news or exciting happenings in the lives of our customers and clients and in some circumstances, it seems I am the only one.

You see, as I learned the hard way, not everyone is happy for you when something good happens to you. I know how down right devastating it is to open up to someone and share something that is so exciting for you just to have them either put you down, laugh at you or (the worst of all) not respond at all. So I make it a point to be excited for any news – be it that you found $20.00 on your way in to my shop, that you lost 5 pounds or that you are going after your dream – even if that dream is clown college.

We all love attention. We all want recognition. We all deserve these things and we can have them. You wanna know how? Give them to yourself. If you wait for everyone to tell you how awesome you are or how terrific your new cut looks or how great you look in your new size 6’s…you are gonna be waiting a long time. Be happy with yourself, get excited for yourself, hell, throw a party for yourself. Not to get all Stuart Smalley “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonnit, people like me.” but seriously, once you celebrate yourself, people will be drawn into your life that want to raise you up and keep you there and those who didn’t care to notice you will fade into the shadows.

When someone shares their story, listen to them. When someone is excited, be excited for them. When someone is happy, be happy for them. Plain and simple.

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

No, I don’t want to tend the rabbits

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Ahhh, that all too familiar chirp of the door chime of my shop. A woman comes in and I ask her if I can give her a hand finding what she needs. She tells me “I am looking for a good conditioning treatment.”. So, I show her the Joico Kpak Revitaluxe. I admit that it is one of my favorites and tell her that everyone that has tried a sample has come back to buy it and I offer her a free sample. After explaining how it restores the porosity of the hair, she asks me “So, are you a stylist?”. “No, I am the manager and I have…” this is when I am spoken over with the all too familiar “Hmmppt…well if you are not a stylist, how can you know anything?” What I want to say is “well…hooked on phonics done worked for me and I done taught meself to read!”. Alas, that doesn’t happen. What happens is I smile, take a breath and explain that I have been in the beauty biz for over 10 years and in customer service for over 20 years. I explain that I have been to every product knowledge class and that I run the store, so I make sure I know everything about what I sell. She still looks at me like I am Forrest Gump or seems to wait for me to start talking about “tending the rabbits”.

Yes, it’s true. I am not a stylist. I am not an aesthetician. I am not a university graduate. What I am is intelligent, articulate, kind and one hell of a sales person and manager. Yeah, I said it. Muhammad Ali said it best “It ain’t braggin’ if you can back it up”, and I can back it up. Don’t get me wrong. I am  a firm believer of furthering one’s education. Some times life gets in the way and some of us aren’t able to go to college or university. That doesn’t mean that we are any less intelligent or capable as our post secondary peers. That being said, I also believe in educating yourself, about yourself. Finding out who you are and what you like, not what everyone expects you to be or what you “should” be and what you are supposed to like.

People tend to judge quickly. Yes, I am a girl standing in a shop, that does not mean I have always been a girl standing in a shop. Also, I have chosen to be where I am today. Yes, its true. Believe it or not…some of us actually enjoy what we do for  a living. Shocking, I know. I have had many experiences, corporately trained and such…a tale for another time.

You cannot teach passion, you either have it or you don’t. If you have passion for what you do as I do, you will become an expert because you will soak up all the knowledge and facts you can like a sponge. You will be excited and in turn make others excited. I have yet to hear of a course anywhere that can teach that.

I may not be a hair stylist,  but I can still teach you a thing or two.

Beauty, communication, Fashion, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Purge the Vanity

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So, there I was, going through my closet seeing what still fits, what I still like and what I am ready to part with. Fall is upon us and as with any season change I find myself scouring the bible for fashion ideas…the bible being the September issue of Vogue. I don’t know if turning forty has anything to do with this but I have no need to hold onto anything that does not bring me happiness. Maybe it was my husband and my father having a heart attack 8 days apart last October. Maybe it’s both. Anyways, I found myself looking at sweaters that I have had for over 4 years and wondering “what the hell was I thinking?” and then realizing it wasn’t me thinking, it was whomever I was shopping with that particular day and listening to what they thought was right for me instead of what I thought was right for me. Which got me to thinking about my vanity and all the products that I bought because of the same reason I own a sweater that makes by breasts look so big that Dolly Parton would blush. (trust me…it’s not pretty…even my husband looked on in horror and my daughter ran out of the room screaming).

I know you have all read about or heard of cleaning out your closet. I think it is time for a new tradition…clean out your vanity and rid yourself of any product that doesn’t bring you happiness. You know the products I am talking about…

– that facial cream that your mother gave you – the one that every time you unscrew the lid you hear your mother saying “hopefully this will make you look less tired.”

– that organic deodorant that promised all day odorless freshness and you ended up smelling like the onion ring guy at the county fair.

– that eye cream that promised to eliminate the dark circles under your eyes and it did…and it also puffed them up so much you looked like you went a few rounds with Apollo Creed.

– that waterproof mascara that took 20 make up remover wipes, 30 baby wipes, baby oil, soap and 25 minutes each eye to remove.

– those “all day freshness” panty liners  – the only thing they kept fresh was your anger each time they stuck to your pants or your butt…yeah, I said it. We all know it happens.

– the lipstick that your best friend told you to buy so you would look “hot” for the guy you wanted to impress at the party…the same guy she took home.

– the mousse that your so called “friend” told you would be good to use so your hair would be so big that no one would notice your butt. (personal experience with that one…I heard she now lives in a trailer with 10 kids…that’s what I heard).

– the baby blue eye shadow. Enough said.

– the banana clip from 9th. grade. I know it’s painful…it is time to let it go.

What I am getting at is this…be happy. Set up your life so you can smile, not wince. When putting on face cream you should hear nothing but your own inner voice saying how beautiful you are. When putting on lipstick the only thought going through your head is “I like this color”. Take a look at what is residing in your vanity cupboards and drawers. When you hold the product in your hand – if it makes you anything but happy – throw it away, or give it to a friend who may want it.

Make it a point of your bedtime ritual to put the negative to rest as well.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

I’m looking for that girl in the red coat.

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I know that there is a full moon upon us, and it is the second one of the month. It is referred to as a blue moon, which is where “once in a blue moon” comes from. Well, that phrase doesn’t seem to ring true in my life lately for the events of the last few weeks happened more than once.

In the past few weeks any accomplishment has seemed to be belittled or poo-poo’d (don’t like poo-poo’d- call Websters and lets move on), on more than one occasion my thyroid scar has been pointed out and at, I have been questioned (with rolling eyes) about why I do a blog, oh…and my favorite, that my plans are just dreams and a “cute” way to spend my free time. I must admit, I started to let it get to me. I started to believe the hype.

It was at this moment a woman came into the shop and came right up to me and said “I am looking for that girl in the red coat.”. I shit you not.(pardon my french…sorry Dad). You see, thanks to Twitter, I had been tweeting daily affirmations to some of my rockin’ ladies who own businesses in town and she was always part of the tweets so I began to include her in my daily tweets. I shouted “That’s me!!”. I did, I kind of get excited and at 40 years old I shouted. We both laughed as we shook hands. She asked me about the shop, she listened to what I had to say. My ideas were not belittled, I was not told how “cute” my plans were and not a mention of my scar. That night when I got home, as I entered my bedroom, my copy of GUTS by Kristen Johnston fell of my shelf. Again…I shit you not. Again, although in different circumstances, another person reminded me that different is great.

What I am trying to get at without using a bouncing ball over my words is this…Be kind. I know, I have blogged about this before and all you want to know is what conditioning treatment is the best. (Kpak Revitaluxe…but I digress). Trust me, I will continue to blog about product knowledge, customer service and all things Salon. I will also continue to blog about kindness and courtesy. I will continue to blog about lifting each other up, not pummeling each other and our dreams into the ground. I have said it before and will continue to say it, I believe a little fairy dust goes a long way. Sometimes a little kindness helps remind someone of the beauty that is still in this life. Being excited for another person’s accomplishments, no matter how small they seem to you, can make the difference between their success or failure.

…and quite honestly, no amount of hair color, mousse or hairspray can make cruelty beautiful.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

Surrounded with beauty

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Surround yourself with beautiful things. We have all heard it, read about it in magazines…bring fresh flowers into the room, paint the walls your favorite color, buy a great smelling shampoo, treat yourself to a great conditioning treatment, burn a scented candle, plant a tree. Yes, these are wonderful ideas. I have another idea for you. How about surrounding yourself with beautiful people. I’m not talking about Cindy Crawford and Brad Pitt (although he would be fun to look at while he served me lemonade). I’m talking about people that have more to offer to a conversation than “Can you believe Snooki went to the bar while pregnant?!” (no offense intended Snook).

This evening, thanks to a dear friend, I was invited to help celebrate a new found friend’s birthday. As I sat there, the laughter warming me more than the sun, I realized I was surrounded by beauty. Every woman at that table had a story to tell, every woman at that table was excited for one another’s achievements. Not a sour face was made nor a hurtful word uttered. Some of us were meeting face to face for the first time yet it felt we had known each other for ages. We were there to celebrate our friend, and in turn celebrated each other.

Life is short. Pardon my french…shit happens. Life gets in the way more often than not. It is time to surround yourself not just with beautiful things, but with beautiful people. People that see you – not just look at you. People that listen to you – not just hear you. We must reach out to one another and raise each other up. We must embrace these moments of beauty when we can and not let go.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Getting the stupid cut out

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I found myself thinking about the moment I knew I wanted to do a blog. I was at home recovering from my hysterectomy (or as I like to refer to it as “getting the stupid cut out”) and my hubby had rented Julie and Julia for me. I love this movie. When Julie said (forgive my paraphrasing) “I could do a blog. I can write.” I thought, “Hey! So can I.”. Then the ever present fear reared it’s ugly head. What will people say? What will people think? Will anyone read it? People will laugh and think it’s stupid. (Hey, I said I got the stupid cut out…it took a few years for the remnants of it to leave my brain.). Fast forward 2.5 years later, with trembling fingers, I typed out WordPress into the Google search engine and with butterflies in my stomach I began my adventure in blogging.

You see, I, like many of us, was letting fear decide my fate. Fear is ugly and this blog is about beauty, not just about the newest and most awesome conditioning treatment on the market (Joico Kpak Revitaluxe…had to say it) but about everything that makes us beautiful, our inner and outer beauty, our idiosyncrasies.

This week, I don’t know if it is because the universe has blessed us with two full moons in August, I have heard so many women saying I can’t, or what if, or I hate and fill in the blank. I think I have given out more hugs and words of encouragement this week than hair products. No judgement here ladies, I have been that girl, and she is a sad and lonely girl. I am here to tell you that you can do whatever you want. You can. Be it blogging or running a marathon or going back to school. You can do it. You must be patient – that is the toughest part – trust me – when I want something, I want it now…had to learn patience and trust me, I would have rather been back in grade 8 woodworking class with the teacher that was missing two fingers and teaching me to use a jigsaw than learn patience. Once you embrace patience and let go of the fear…wow…the life of your daydreams slowly becomes your reality.

Like I have said before, people are gonna talk no matter what you do, so why not really give ’em something to talk about. It’s time to be who you are meant to be, it is time to stop trying to be like someone else – that job is already taken. It is time to let go of the fear of what could be and time to anticipate what can be. (and if you use Kpak Revitaluxe your hair will look and feel fabulous).

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Visually impaired

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I really did mean to write about Dry Shampoo’s today, that tale will have to wait until another day. I had an experience this week that I felt needed to be shared. I know, “where are the beauty tips oh guru of products?” is what you are thinking. Bear with me my lovelies, those tales will be told, today I have another tale to tell.

I hear the familiar chirp of the door chime and look up to see a Mom and her daughter. The daughter looked lost and the Mom looked exhausted and distraught, and they were standing in front of the hair color. I wandered over and asked if they needed a hand. The daughter, a pretty girl of 15 who didn’t realize how pretty she was told me she wanted to change her hair color. She had been coloring it black and thought she should lighten it up. I told her it would be best not to attempt to do it herself and told her the potential outcomes of doing so. The poor thing, her eyes welled up and her lip started to quiver. I asked her if she was okay and if she had anything else to ask. She just stared at me. I said “Oh honey, you look like you need to say something. Ask me anything, there are no stupid questions.”, to which she began to tell me that she liked her hair but felt like it was wrong and didn’t know what to think or what to do or what to like. Memories of 15 year old anguish flooded my mind. We have all been that girl and it is not fun. I told her that if she liked her hair, that was okay. That she looked great with that hair color and not to worry about what others think or say. I told her that I couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be for young women today because I remember how much being 15 sucked.(Yes, I said sucked – I am hip to today’s jive.). She began to smile. Then I said “Honey, people are gonna talk no matter what. There are people that no matter what you do it won’t be good enough. I am sure that back in Jesus’s day people thought he didn’t turn water into wine fast enough” to which she laughed out loud. After talking a little longer, she left with a smile and a spring in her step and our card if she felt like making an appointment because she wanted one. As they walked out the door the Mom mouthed thank you.

It’s been a few days since I met her yet I can’t stop thinking of her. We have all been that girl. Hell, I have been that girl. Unsure of myself, wondering what is wrong with me – why can’t I be like everyone else? So many women and a few gents have become visually impaired – we cannot see the beauty that is within us or the beauty in our reflection because we decided to listen to everyone else’s opinions, not our own. I am here to tell you, like I told that girl – you are awesome just as you are. Be what you want, dye your hair whatever color you want, paint your nails electric neon yellow (like yours truly). Listen to yourself, the answers are there waiting to be uncovered. You know what you want. It is okay to know what you want and refuse to settle for anything less.

We have all been that girl, now it is time to help that girl. See her. Raise her up. Celebrate her.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

There she is!

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So here it is, the eve of the day before my 40th. birthday. In recent days every time I turn on the radio I hear an 80’s classic, I turn on the television and an 80’s movie is playing and I am constantly catapulted back in time with memories of ozone burning hairspray clouds in the girl’s bathroom, acid wash everything, loving a girls hair just to have her turn around and realize she is a he and then instantly asking “who did your perm?!?!”. I am also reminded of the person I really am. The fearless “Don’t like it? Don’t look” girl I was in my youth is coming back, and I am so happy to see her again. I lost her along the way, as we all have. I listened to the wrong people, believed the wrong hype. Today’s tale is more of a personal one.

The year was 1995. I was happily married (yes, I married at 22 and am still married to the same person and yes I still love him…I even like him, and I thank my lucky stars every day for him because he has always been there to kick my butt and give me a soft place to fall.). My mother had received a complimentary Mary Kay makeover and invited me along. It was terrific. The Mary Kay rep. wasn’t pushy, had lots of helpful hints and made my mother feel special. We laughed so much our mascara ran. It was a great afternoon. A few days later my phone rang and it was the Mary Kay rep.. She was calling because she said she loved my personality and thought I had such flare and a grasp of the products that she wanted to take me to a sales meeting and bring me on board. It was at this moment that I choked. I literally choked and couldn’t speak. It took me what felt like an eternity to compose myself and decline her offer. As I hung up the phone, I sank to the kitchen floor and sobbed. It was at this moment I was made to face the fact that I thought I wasn’t pretty enough to sell makeup, that I was too ugly and would be laughed at. Then I got angry. Angry at myself for letting the world get at me, for believing that a girl/woman had a certain role to fill, that having an opinion meant I was difficult, that my self confidence meant I had “too much pride” and was “too tough”.

At some point in the life of every woman, she feels inadequate, or stupid or even ugly. I am here to tell you what I tell my 15 year old daughter. We cannot stop what others may do or say to us, we can stop what we do or say to ourselves. I used to look back on myself with judgement and ridicule. Now I look back at that time and am grateful. It made me take a hard look at my life. It made me take a long hard look at who I had allowed into my head, rent free.

Long story short, I am proud to say that I have many an opinion and will share it whenever I choose, I am self confident and am over flowing with pride and I am tough. I am also kind and honest and truly believe that dreams can come true. A few little one’s  did…I am a Manager at a Salon/Retail shop, I met Tabatha Coffey, I am writing a blog about beauty and feeling pretty with every letter I type.

 

Beauty, communication, entertainment, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

For Nora

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As I started my blog today, I was going to write about something else entirely. I started my tale by explaining my favorite coffee when my mind was catapulted to one of my favorite scenes from “You’ve got mail”. You know the scene…when Kathleen Kelly is at Starbuck’s laughing to herself remembering Joe Fox’s description of people feeling like they made a decision by ordering their coffee. (of course, she didn’t know it was Joe Fox and he didn’t know it was Kathleen, and oh….watch it again….so wonderful).

It was right then I realized that is was Nora Ephron and her lovely movies and screenplays that made me feel like I too could be something great. Ms. Ephron is one of the major reasons I began blogging. Whenever I feel I can’t do it, or don’t have anything to offer or contribute, I remember watching “Julie and Julia” and thinking (like Julie) “I could do a blog. Yeah…I can write”. The first time I watched “Sleepless in Seattle”, my husband got up from the couch, put out his hand, and started to dance with me. I never tire of “When Harry met Sally”. Every time I watch it I hear my father’s laugh, even when he’s not in the room. In fact I just introduced my 15 year old daughter to that movie last month.

Whenever I saw Ms. Ephron on T.V. doing an interview or read an article on her or by her, I felt like I was watching or listening to a friend. Yes, I know I am about to turn forty – I still believe that a little fairy dust goes a long way. She was funny and honest and articulate and intelligent, something I strive to be. All of her character’s resembled a part of me, or someone I knew.

The world has lost our beloved Nora, although she is never far away. Head on down to your local video store and you will find her there on the shelves ,waiting to share her stories.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

An “A” for effort

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Lately I have met many women and a few gents that seem to be on a quest. A quest for the right product that will change their life and make everything alright. Now, I must admit, I love to help people out and have no problem selling them the awesome salon products I sell at the shop. I love when the product I suggest works for them and makes them happy. I also like when they tell me when they are not happy with the product, so I can help them find the right one. (I don’t really enjoy when they throw said product at me because I can’t return it because the manufacturer changed their policy…hate the game, not the player.).

“What will make my hair look better?”. “My friend says I need Dry Shampoo”. “My friend uses Moroccanoil and met her husband on E Harmony”. “I don’t know…what do you think I should buy?”. Phrases I hear on a weekly basis. Everyone looking for a magic potion, an easy road, a quick answer. Usually my response is not always welcomed because I tell it like it is. If you want your hair to look good, you have to put forth a little effort. If you want your life to be good…guess what…ya gotta put a little effort in. I had a young lady come to the shop in need of a flat iron. I showed her what we had. After having to explain the features of the first five flat irons I showed her, I asked “What is it exactly that you are looking for?”, to which she responded “I don’t know, can you tell me what I want?”. I told her, “I can show you what you may like, but you have to decide which to purchase, I cannot decide for you.”. To which she responded “that’s what my congregation keeps telling me…that I have to make my own decisions….they are praying for me.”. I looked at her, silently reminding myself “not to show my thoughts on my face”, and told her “god may show you a door, but he’s not gonna open it.”. To which she gaped at me, then laughed out loud. (whew….no flying flat irons today).

What I have come to realize is this….these lovely souls think they are searching for hair product, but more times than not, they are in search of something else, something bigger. They want a quick fix for their hair dilemma as well as the dilemma’s of their lives. We all want to feel attractive, we all want to be seen and heard, we all want fulfillment in our lives and relationships. Guess what…you can have all these things, you just have to put a little effort in. You can have volume at your roots and have a great love life… you have to put a little effort in.

I can sell you the right products to help you have the hair you have always dreamed of, as for providence and serenity, all I can do is offer it.