Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

Self Help and bad hair

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You all know I LOVE hair products and everything that has to do with beauty. I am also a sucker for books, book stores actually. The shiny covers, the smell of freshly pressed prose, the staff picks of fiction, the tunes that echo throughout the store that you can’t help but hum along with, ahhh…the book store. Yes, I admit, I do find myself wondering if I will run into Kathleen Kelly or Joe Fox. ( You’ve got mail…enough said). Anyway, back to the tale at hand. As I was wandering through the store humming along to Adele and daydreaming as I often do that we meet and become life long friends, I ended up in front of the Self Help section. I just stood there, captivated by what I saw. Every single person in that section had bad hair. Yeah, I said it. I couldn’t look away, and as I stood there I had what Miss. Oprah would call a light bulb moment. They may have been looking for an answer for a happy marriage or how to come out of the closet, but they were also wishing their hair looked better. (You know they were…we all have those days.) The right color, cut and product may not solve all your issues, but good hair is a good start.

I know, it’s what is inside that counts. How dare I say such things out loud or put in print for that matter. Yes, I do agree wholehearted that it is what is inside that counts. I also believe that if you like the way you look, it can make for a better day. I stress what you see and what you like. It  took everything in me not to rope the crowd in Self Help together and take them back to my shop and teach them how do to their hair. I mean seriously, even Dr. Phil would look at the hair that hadn’t been brushed in a week and say “how’s that workin’ for ya?”. It isn’t just about  looking good, it’s about taking time for you. Think about it, if you take the time to do your hair and/or makeup, you have just set aside 10 – 30 minutes just for you and you alone. I am a firm believer that healing begins when you make yourself a priority, even if only for a few minutes a day. If you don’t like the reflection in the mirror, no Self Help book is going to help. Trust me, I know of what I speak, that is another tale for another time.

Brush your hair, wash your face. Grab that flat iron and iron out that frizz. Put on some lip gloss. Take a minute for yourself. Think of it this way, if you like your hair it is one less thing that you need help with, and one less thing is always a good thing.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Visually impaired

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I really did mean to write about Dry Shampoo’s today, that tale will have to wait until another day. I had an experience this week that I felt needed to be shared. I know, “where are the beauty tips oh guru of products?” is what you are thinking. Bear with me my lovelies, those tales will be told, today I have another tale to tell.

I hear the familiar chirp of the door chime and look up to see a Mom and her daughter. The daughter looked lost and the Mom looked exhausted and distraught, and they were standing in front of the hair color. I wandered over and asked if they needed a hand. The daughter, a pretty girl of 15 who didn’t realize how pretty she was told me she wanted to change her hair color. She had been coloring it black and thought she should lighten it up. I told her it would be best not to attempt to do it herself and told her the potential outcomes of doing so. The poor thing, her eyes welled up and her lip started to quiver. I asked her if she was okay and if she had anything else to ask. She just stared at me. I said “Oh honey, you look like you need to say something. Ask me anything, there are no stupid questions.”, to which she began to tell me that she liked her hair but felt like it was wrong and didn’t know what to think or what to do or what to like. Memories of 15 year old anguish flooded my mind. We have all been that girl and it is not fun. I told her that if she liked her hair, that was okay. That she looked great with that hair color and not to worry about what others think or say. I told her that I couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be for young women today because I remember how much being 15 sucked.(Yes, I said sucked – I am hip to today’s jive.). She began to smile. Then I said “Honey, people are gonna talk no matter what. There are people that no matter what you do it won’t be good enough. I am sure that back in Jesus’s day people thought he didn’t turn water into wine fast enough” to which she laughed out loud. After talking a little longer, she left with a smile and a spring in her step and our card if she felt like making an appointment because she wanted one. As they walked out the door the Mom mouthed thank you.

It’s been a few days since I met her yet I can’t stop thinking of her. We have all been that girl. Hell, I have been that girl. Unsure of myself, wondering what is wrong with me – why can’t I be like everyone else? So many women and a few gents have become visually impaired – we cannot see the beauty that is within us or the beauty in our reflection because we decided to listen to everyone else’s opinions, not our own. I am here to tell you, like I told that girl – you are awesome just as you are. Be what you want, dye your hair whatever color you want, paint your nails electric neon yellow (like yours truly). Listen to yourself, the answers are there waiting to be uncovered. You know what you want. It is okay to know what you want and refuse to settle for anything less.

We have all been that girl, now it is time to help that girl. See her. Raise her up. Celebrate her.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

There she is!

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So here it is, the eve of the day before my 40th. birthday. In recent days every time I turn on the radio I hear an 80’s classic, I turn on the television and an 80’s movie is playing and I am constantly catapulted back in time with memories of ozone burning hairspray clouds in the girl’s bathroom, acid wash everything, loving a girls hair just to have her turn around and realize she is a he and then instantly asking “who did your perm?!?!”. I am also reminded of the person I really am. The fearless “Don’t like it? Don’t look” girl I was in my youth is coming back, and I am so happy to see her again. I lost her along the way, as we all have. I listened to the wrong people, believed the wrong hype. Today’s tale is more of a personal one.

The year was 1995. I was happily married (yes, I married at 22 and am still married to the same person and yes I still love him…I even like him, and I thank my lucky stars every day for him because he has always been there to kick my butt and give me a soft place to fall.). My mother had received a complimentary Mary Kay makeover and invited me along. It was terrific. The Mary Kay rep. wasn’t pushy, had lots of helpful hints and made my mother feel special. We laughed so much our mascara ran. It was a great afternoon. A few days later my phone rang and it was the Mary Kay rep.. She was calling because she said she loved my personality and thought I had such flare and a grasp of the products that she wanted to take me to a sales meeting and bring me on board. It was at this moment that I choked. I literally choked and couldn’t speak. It took me what felt like an eternity to compose myself and decline her offer. As I hung up the phone, I sank to the kitchen floor and sobbed. It was at this moment I was made to face the fact that I thought I wasn’t pretty enough to sell makeup, that I was too ugly and would be laughed at. Then I got angry. Angry at myself for letting the world get at me, for believing that a girl/woman had a certain role to fill, that having an opinion meant I was difficult, that my self confidence meant I had “too much pride” and was “too tough”.

At some point in the life of every woman, she feels inadequate, or stupid or even ugly. I am here to tell you what I tell my 15 year old daughter. We cannot stop what others may do or say to us, we can stop what we do or say to ourselves. I used to look back on myself with judgement and ridicule. Now I look back at that time and am grateful. It made me take a hard look at my life. It made me take a long hard look at who I had allowed into my head, rent free.

Long story short, I am proud to say that I have many an opinion and will share it whenever I choose, I am self confident and am over flowing with pride and I am tough. I am also kind and honest and truly believe that dreams can come true. A few little one’s  did…I am a Manager at a Salon/Retail shop, I met Tabatha Coffey, I am writing a blog about beauty and feeling pretty with every letter I type.

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Behave yourself.

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Over the past few days I have encountered some of the most negative people and heard some of the most ignorant remarks made to customers when they were out and about. So today I am taking it upon myself to clear the air about what is inappropriate to say to customers, competitors and to people in general.

In business, when discussing your competitor’s, don’t go around stating “I’m gonna put them out of business!”. First of all, you look and sound like an ass. Second, what goes around comes around…you will only end up hurting yourself and your business.

As a stylist, when your client comes in after trying to do an “at home” Ombre…don’t laugh. Don’t say “What the hell did you do?”. Don’t make it worse for them than it already is. Tell them you can fix it and move on.

If you have done an “at home” color and now your hair is orange, do not yell at the stylist because she has to take you back to brown hair and your dreams of being blonde are shattered. It is not her fault that you ruined your hair. She is trying to help you keep the hair you have. Want to be blonde…go to the Salon.

Never, I mean never tell a customer “You are wrong. You don’t know what you are talking about.” * Remember this – the customer is always right…in their own mind. So if you tell them they are wrong…you have crossed the line. Instead of telling them they are wrong, educate and enlighten. Try saying “A lot of people have been told that, I was able to find out…and fill in the blanks. No one likes to feel stupid or made to feel like an idiot. No one.

Don’t take it personally. Unless someone comes right out and calls me a name, I don’t take their attitude personally. Most of the time they are mad at their husband or they chipped a nail or have a run in their pantyhose and need someone other than themselves to blame for their misery.

When a customer or client doesn’t seem to believe what you are telling them about a product, don’t take it personally. Everyday I meet women and men that have been given the wrong information about hair products. We have all been there…someone has led us down the garden path too. Be patient, be kind, don’t take it personally.

Call to cancel your appointment – no shows are rude and they take away a stylist’s income. You might as well go into their wallet and take their money.

Be honest. Lies are meant for children under the age of five who are in need of a cookie and will say anything to get one.

Listen to your customer. We have all been there, listening to someone we think is rambling on and on. Maybe they are, or maybe they have just buried a loved one or are heading to the hospice to see their mother and need an escape from what they have to face in their daily life.

When you see someone with a stroller or a wheelchair…get the door for them.

Be kind to the elderly, mind your manners.

Be kind to children. Acknowledge them. I have always found when I speak to the child that comes into the shop they behave better and are usually quite pleased that someone has noticed them and made them feel important. Remember, not everyone has a happy childhood, and maybe, just maybe smiling at that child that day will give them hope.

Make eye contact. It is rude if you don’t, plain and simple.

Do not treat stylists and salespeople as your slave or personal servant. We are human beings that like to be treated with respect just as you do. A nice “Hello” will do. Don’t walk into a shop like you own it…this isn’t New York City and you are not Donald Trump. (no disrespect intended Mr. Trump).

Do not raise your voice at your stylist. Do not raise your voice at your salesperson. Do not raise your voice at the manager. When all is said and done, when you yell in public, you look like a fool. A full grown adult having a temper tantrum is not a pretty sight, don’t do it.

Remember that most return policies are not the policy of the store. We are following the guidelines of our distributor’s return policy. If they won’t take the product back from the store, the store cannot take it back for you. Every product has a 1 800 number for customer service – call them. If more consumers called the companies and were more involved with their purchases, maybe these policies would begin to favor the consumer.

When someone asks your child what their name is, do not speak for your child and say “her name is brat.”. Again, you sound like an ass and if you call your child a brat that is exactly what you are going to have, a child acting like a brat.

Go out today and be kind. Remember, we all have the same amount of time in a day and it is just as important as everyone else’s. Oh yes, and don’t throw the flat iron.

Beauty, Business, communication, Fashion, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

The jig is up

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I’m going to let you in on a little secret and I hope I am forgiven. Men have hair issues too. I’m not talking about back hair or south of the border over growth – that is another tale for another day. I am talking about their lovely locks or lack there of on top of their heads.

I have found there are two types of men looking for hair products or answers to their personal hair dilemma. Type 1 – struts into the store, sunglasses on, shirt open, always using the same opening line “Got anything to make me more beautiful?” as they rub some part of their body. (do they get a handbook in the high school locker room?). Type 2 – won’t make eye contact, doesn’t want help, wanders around the store until he wanders up to the counter, leans on his elbow and asks out of the corner of his mouth “what do you have for men in here?” (like we are in a high tense spy movie and he’s about to drop the secret briefcase).

Now, something to remember, men are as sensitive if not more than women when it comes to their hair – only one other asset has greater importance. Yeah, I said it. An unfortunate fact is most men will suffer from hair loss or a receding hair line. Think about it for a minute – when women are little girls – they look at their mother and get to see the killer heels they will one day wear and the great accessories and they will get to have great hair and highlites. When men are little boys – they look at their father and get to see a receding hair line or Mr. Clean. Sure they also see the strength and the great car their Dad drives – but the hair loss is always in the picture and always in the back of their minds. It is a genuine fear for most men that they will lose their hair, and rightfully so – come on ladies – you know you freak out if you see more than one strand of hair in your brush.

Another tidbit of info. – ladies – you know when we look at magazines or actresses up on the silver screen and judge our figures accordingly? Guess what – when men are looking at magazines or the actor up on the silver screen – they do it too – they just don’t show it. We as women are fortunate as we are allowed to voice these fears and insecurities – men are not – at least not in public.

A little list of professional hair care lines for our gents –

MITCH – Paul Mitchell – a little line – Shampoo, Conditioner, body wash, pomades and gels – the newest addition to the Paul Mitchell family

American Crew – Shampoo’s & Conditioners for all hair types – thick, grey, dry, oily. An array of styling products and a beautiful Shave line and Classic fragrance. – the smell makes a woman think of Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis, take your pick.

Quantum – The Fix Gel in this line is awesome.

FixMen – another little line that is not well known but terrific. Has an array of styling products with a matte finish (* most guys don’t want the shine).

Be kind – as I have stated in blogs before – do not make fun of a man’s hair – EVER. It is cruel – plain and simple. Try to remember that the men in our lives are not just men, they are human beings with fears and insecurities. Treat them as you want to be treated. ( oh – another little secret….if they bring home a gold bikini and brown bun hair pieces for you – don’t be afraid, don’t question it…it’s a guy/star wars/ princess Leia thing).

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Tales of truth…part 3

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I am sure you have heard of the “zombie apocalypse” ….well, I believe it has begun. There I was, talking with a customer, explaining to her how she was going to LOVE the Kpak Revitaluxe (you all know how much I love it) and I hear the door chime behind me. I excuse myself for a moment to greet the newest arrival, smile and say “good morning” to which I hear “ughk”. I kid you not. The woman I was helping gasped and looked at me with the “what the hell?!?” look in her eyes. I leaned over and whispered “it’s okay, welcome to my world.” to which she giggled and relaxed. I walked her up to the counter, looking over at the woman (zombie) and told her I would be right with her, to which I got the blank stare and a mumbled statement which I hoped didn’t translate to “I’m gonna eat your face”. My lovely lady paid for her purchase and looked a little worried, I told her I was fine and to enjoy her day, she left the store walking the long way around to the door. (you see, thanks to my glorious hubby, I have seen Zombieland, I am prepared, I know what to do.). Back to the tale at hand. I walked ever so cautiously to the woman and asked what she needed help with….she just looked at me. About 30 seconds went by and she finally said “I need peroxide”. Whew….speech… No need for shovels today.

It was a beautiful summer day in 2011, a day I will remember for as long as I live, or until dementia sets in (family trait). A women in her late 40’s or early 50’s came into the shop, dressed in a beautiful designer summer dress with the cutest sandals to match, clutching her Coach summer tote. I asked if she needed a hand finding anything, “just looking for the nail polish” she innocently responded. I showed her our collections and went to answer the phone. After my phone call I turn around to see this women sitting on the floor, tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth and putting nail polish on her toes. The first thing that sprang to mind was the childhood rhyme “I see London…I see France…I can see your underpants”. I kindly walked up to her and said “Oh honey, first, you can’t try on the polishes, second, we can see up your dress”. I still can’t bring myself to buy pink underwear…enough said.

Last but certainly not least… I know people are lonely and in this age of technology many people email or text, so there isn’t much human interaction. I love to help all the ladies and gents that come into the store to look beautiful and feel good about themselves. That being said, I don’t really need to know everything about them. I don’t need to know about your latest gynecological finding, don’t really need to see your fungal infection on your toe nail, don’t need to see the oozing bumps on your body, don’t need to be shown your body hair on places I didn’t know hair could grow. I will gladly look at your baby pictures, not their dirty diaper. I will be a shoulder if you have lost a loved one, don’t need to hear about the embalming process. Oh, and please…don’t flash me your bikini line asking me “what is this?” and don’t throw a flat iron.

Hair Care, health and wellness

For the boys…

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Today I bring you a tale of a delicate nature. Today’s tale is about hair loss. I know I usually come at these tales from a woman’s perspective, not today. Today I represent the men. Ladies – it is time to be kinder to our men, to remember that they like to look good  for themselves too. We always talk about how women hate their hair or hate the way they look…guess what? Men feel the same way too. I have heard too often a woman teasing her boyfriend/husband about his receding hair line or beer gut. That is not nice, plain and simple. Think about it – what would happen if he teased you about your roots or your muffin top? He’d be pushin’ up daisies and you know it.

Men feel they have no where to go or no one to talk to about their hair or lack there of. Well, here I am and I am going to shed some light for y’all. I have one word for you – NIOXIN.

Nioxin is a professional hair care line created to stop hair loss in it’s tracks and in some cases help the hair grow back. (*If there has been no hair growth in a spot for over 6 years – unfortunately no hair will ever grow in that spot again.). Nioxin is a 3 step program – The Cleanser(Shampoo), Scalp Therapy(Conditioner), and the Scalp Treatment(a leave on foam treatment). The key to this system is you have to use all 3 products. The Scalp Treatment is the kicker – it cleanses the hair follicle and rids the scalp of debris such as dead skin, product build up and DHT (Dihydrotestosterone). Big word – I know – look below…

*Testosterone converts into the toxin DHT which resides in the hair follicle

* Stress can cause over production of testosterone – so chill.

There are other regimes to help with hair loss on the market. I speak of Nioxin because I have seen first hand many success stories, both for women and men. It has won awards 10 years running. Redken has a line out for hair loss – IntraForce. It has been on the market for over 1 year now. I have had some clients try it and have yet to see major results, not like what I have seen with Nioxin. Nioxin has formulations for those who don’t chemically treat their hair – #1 for early stages of thinning, #2 for noticeably thinning. For those that do chemically treat their hair – #3 for early stages of thinning, #4 for noticeably thinning. Nioxin offers an array of styling products from pomades to gels to hairspray.

There are many factors that cause hair loss. Stress, diet, genetics, illness, medications, your teenager learning to drive. Next time you see your man frowning in the mirror or refusing to leave the house without a hat – show them my blog, forward it to their phone or their email. Let them know they are not alone and there is an answer. Remember ladies – you teach people how to treat you – so if you are constantly nagging and teasing what do you think you will get in return?

Beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Permission granted

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This tale is for all the women out there that are afraid of their voice. You know who you are. At some point we have all been her. You know the one…the one who keeps her opinions to herself , the one who doesn’t speak her mind, the one who goes along with everything out of fear of rocking the boat. The one who still speaks in a cutesy high pitched voice. The one who hates her hair cut so much she cries on her way home from the Salon but won’t tell her stylist because it might hurt their feelings or the stylist won’t like them anymore.  I know, we have heard all our lives, “be the good girl”, “just smile and be polite”, “boys don’t like girls who talk too much”, “the stylist knows best”. I have come to realize, all these lessons were taught to us out of fear. Our parents, teachers,mentors (take your pick) only knew fear, so that is what the majority of girls were taught, fear. Fear of what may happen if you speak your mind, fear of what may happen if you choose not to go with the flow, fear of being alone. As Maya Angelou says “when you know better, you do better”. Ladies, (and gents), it is time to “do better”.

Every day, I mean EVERYDAY, a woman will come into the shop or the salon, her eyes at the floor, mumbling a request. I make it my personal mission in life to raise these people up. I ask them what they need, what they are looking for and I always get the same response “I don’t know, what do you think?”. In turn I answer “I think you should have pink hair”…and then I give a gentle friendly giggle and tell her I want to help her feel better about her hair. I ask her what picture she has in her head of what she wants her hair to look like. 9 out of 10 women tell me they don’t like the style they have now, that their stylist doesn’t listen to them and that they hate the color of their hair. This is when I tell them “it is time to find your voice”. I reassure them, the world will not open up and swallow them whole if they speak their mind. That if they are able to yell at the girl at the drive thru for getting their coffee order wrong, I think they can talk to their stylist about what they want.

As women, we worry about what people are thinking about us or saying about us. It is time to stop worrying. As my Dad often says “worry is a debt that never comes due”. He’s right. People are going to talk no matter what, it’s what they do. Live the life you want, have the hair style and color you want, wear the clothes you like. Find your voice, embrace it, walk with your head held high, make eye contact. If you are still a little worried you are going to hurt someone’s feelings – get them a present – buy them “knitting for dummies” and tell them “here is your new hobby.”.

Beauty, Fashion, Hair Care, Uncategorized

Look behind you

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I saw it again yesterday. It never ceases to amaze me. There she was. She had the designer bag, the cute shoes, the newest frock from the summer collection, her hair freshly highlighted and coiffed…and then I saw it. She turned around. This poor soul had forgotten about the back of her head. From the front – looking like she just walked off the pages of Vogue magazine, from behind, looked like she just rolled off the nap time mat at preschool. Ladies and gents, please try to remember the back of your head. I know you know where it is – it’s that place that your Mother used to hit you when you were rude or “too funny” at the dinner table. (See….now you remember.).

To be sure this hair blunder doesn’t happen to you, keep a hand mirror in arms reach in your bathroom or at your vanity. Make it a part of your routine. (Hey, if you can make checking your facebook status part if your morning routine, you can do this too.). When you are gazing ever so lovingly at your reflection, pick up the hand mirror, place it in front of your face, then turn around (be sure your back is to the mirror…sorry – had to clarify – you would be surprised). The reflection you see is you! The back of you. Try not to scream – it will be alright. Pick up the brush – it all can be fixed. If you can take the time to squeeze into a pair of  Spanx, you can learn to style the hair on the back of your head. ( less sweat and tears involved in the latter).

At your next Salon visit, let your stylist know that you need tips on how to style your complete hair style (the back of your head included – VERY IMPORTANT), what drying techniques would be best, or styling products to use. Then go to the nearest dollar store and buy a hand mirror. PLEASE!

Business

You get what you give

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We all want good customer service. We all like when we get attention. We all want to be reassured that our purchase was a good one and we want to know and understand our newest purchase. I get it. I am a consumer, I have had good and bad customer service. Remember – I am a woman so I am sure you can imagine some of the customer service I have received at a car lot or an appliance store. No one likes to be treated like they are stupid. That being said, sales people do not like being treated like we are stupid. Nor do hair stylists, esthetician’s, sales reps, anyone. No one likes to be treated poorly. Plain and simple.

I know, right now you are thinking “The customer is always right!”. You know what, that is correct – the customer is always right – in their own mind. More times than not, people are given the wrong information, or read the instructions incorrectly because Hooked on Phonics didn’t work for them. (Yeah…I said it). Armed with said information they come strutting into the Salon, telling me what they need. Before I continue with this tale – let me give you a tidbit of information. There are two kinds of salespeople – sales professional and order taker. The sales professional will ask about your needs, your wants, question you ( Politely) about the information you have and help you make the right informed decision. The order taker stands there and does what ever you say, not caring what it is you need or if you understand what it is you are buying. Now, back to the tale….

The customer comes in, guns blazing, telling me what they need. “Get me the Moroccanoil Oil treatment!”. No “Hello”, no “Can you help me”, nothing but their misinformed, the customer is always right information. I am  a sales professional, I take pride in my work and my abilities and my vast product knowledge (again…yeah, I said it). So, as always, when a customer comes to me telling me they need a certain product, I ask them why they are looking for it. I ask to ensure they are getting what they need, not to insult their intelligence or lack there of. My favorite response to my inquiring question is “Uh, well, I READ it was good for my hair, and since you don’t have my hair I doubt you know how to help me..”. Okay, stop right there. First, that just doesn’t make any sense. Second, don’t do that. No matter what kind of day you are having, there is no excuse to be rude.Yes, there are many order takers out there, please do not paint us all with the same brush. Give me a minute and I promise you, you will be dazzled and leaving with the proper product. Which is exactly what happened. After I got her to stop ranting with my go to phrase “I only want to get you the proper product, so you will be happy with your hair” said customer finally told me why she wanted this product. She wanted to control her frizz. Guess what? Moroccanoil Oil treatment is not humidity resistant – hence frizz. Their Frizz control spray and their Hairspray are humidity resistant – hence no frizz.

Customer service goes both ways. Customer’s want to be treated with respect and kindness. Guess what, so do sales people. (I can’t speak for order takers). From time to time you may run into rudeness, or maybe you and the salesperson just don’t jive. Ask (POLITELY) for another sales person. Not happy with your stylist’s work or attitude, try to work it out. If you cannot, get a new stylist. Professional’s in any profession want to know where they can improve, the one’s that don’t want to know, you don’t want to know.

Be kind today. Take a breath before you speak to salesperson. I can only speak for myself – when a customer is being rude, yelling, throwing a flat iron… never mistake my civility for softness.