Beauty, communication, Hair Care, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, writing

Tales of Truth – The 20th…yes…the 20th Edition

It’s July. It’s the week of the August long weekend.  A heat wave has hit my corner of the globe. The Humidex is on the rise. Combine all these events and you have the ingredients for a whole lot of crazy.  Oh…and there is a full moon upon us, it is to arrive on Friday. You see, the powers that be have bestowed not one, but two full moons this July. The second full moon is known as a Blue Moon. You know, I used to like that song. Now I feel the lyrics are mocking me… “Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone…”…I bet it did. Well Ladies and Gents, boys and girls, gather ‘ round for the 20th, yes, the 20th edition of That Girl in the Red Coat’s Tales of Truth.

– I hear the chirp of the shop’s door and the flip flop of the woman’s sandals. I look up from my invoice and greet her with my morning smile, wish her a good morning and ask if I can help her. “Yeah. I want my hair cut.”. I let her know that my stylists are booked for the day but we can make her an appointment for tomorrow. “Pfft. That’s not gonna do. Why the hell would you put this coupon in the paper for cheap haircuts if you can’t even take me now?!? I think that’s stupid and yous (her word…not mine) guys are liars! Whatcha think of that?!?!” to which I kindly let her know that our Salon didn’t put the coupon in the paper for “cheap haircuts” and that the Salon she was looking for was at the other end of the plaza. She looked at me for a minute, then flip flopped out the door.

– Every once in a while, yours truly is alone at the shop and every once in a while, nature calls. I put a sign on the door that states “Thank you for your patience. 🙂 Be back in 5 minutes”. Now, to be clear, I am usually back in 2 minutes. I lock the door because we are a retail shop too and if I am in the ‘loo with my knickers at my knees I can’t stop shoplifters. So, nature called. I went as fast as I possibly could for I could hear someone banging on the shop’s door. As I got closer to the door, the customer had no problem telling me how “F’in hot it is outside” and that it was unfair of me to make her wait 2 minutes. I apologized and let her know I was on my own and that I had to use the washroom. She told me I should work on my bladder skills. …is there a course for that?

– A woman asked me if there was anything she could do to make her hair more greasy. I told her if she didn’t wash her hair for a week it would probably get greasy. She told me she couldn’t go a week without washing her hair because that would be gross. ….wait for it…there you go.

– A woman told me I was making her lose her patience because I couldn’t remember the product she had bought  in the past from her stylist at another Salon. FYI – this was her description – “that stuff, that I like, you know, in the tube or a jar, I can’t remember, but it smells good and my husband liked it”. …even Dionne Warwick and her psychic friends are at a loss on this one.

– A gent complained that our debit machine was too slow. I apologized and let him know it would be a few more seconds. “I’m in a hurry you know!”. So I moved the candy dish over to him and offered him a candy to which he exclaimed “STARBURST! MY FAVORITE!” and then he began to tell me about his first time eating a Starburst, then his first job and then he told me why he was in town. …All I kept thinking was “I thought you were in a hurry…and please, please do not ask me about waxing your balls”.  – those of you who read my blog know of what I speak.

– This month we have litre duo’s on sale in the shop. A woman wanted to buy a duo for her whole family to use. She colors her hair so I showed her the Color Shampoo/Conditioner duo’s we have. “Oh, I can’t buy that. My kids don’t color their hair and if I buy that then I have to get them to start coloring their hair so they can use it too and I don’t want to have to do that.”.  *author’s note –  anyone and any hair type can use Color Shampoo and Conditioner, even if you don’t color your hair.

– I have been asked if I shave the side of my head and put a blue streak in my hair so people won’t look at the scar on my neck. By the way, the answer is NO.

– A customer came in looking for a new shampoo. She let me know she had decided to become a vegetarian and wanted to be sure that the products she uses are not tested on animals. A dog was barking as she was talking (we have a pet shop beside us, so we hear many barks, meows and chirps.). I introduced her to the SOMA line and the ONESTA line – certified Vegan and Cruelty Free. As I was ringing through her purchase, she was telling me how horrible it is that people mistreat animals, then she got in her car and I realized the barking stopped. Yep, Miss. Save the Animals had left her dog in the car while she shopped for her cruelty free products.

– A woman complained that the mousse I sold her was “crap and didn’t give her any volume or body” like I said it would. I asked her if she applied it to damp hair and used her blow dryer. “Yes. Just like you said.”. I asked her how she dried her hair and asked her to show me what she does with her brush and blow dryer (some people use a round brush but brush the hair down and end up guiding the hair straight instead of guiding it up and out from the root for volume). “How am I gonna do that? I don’t have my hair dryer here!” ….sigh

– A woman walked into the shop, saw me behind the counter helping a customer and asked me “Are you open?”

– A gent asked if the tweezers we sell can be used on any part of the body. I now know his wife doesn’t like hairy nipples. He didn’t specify whose were the issue…thank god.

This month I have been asked if I have been saved. I have been asked if I have found Jesus. I have been asked if I knew that I had a scar on my neck. I have been told that I was brave to think I could pull off having the side of my head shaved – think that one was meant as a compliment. I have been told about a nail fungus. I have been shown a nail fungus – took off their shoe and sock to show me. Oh! and a lovely lady let me know that Tea Tree Shampoo can makes things tingle “south of the border”.

Dad's laugh

 

Beauty, Business, communication, entertainment, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Tales of truth – Part 9

Yes ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is time for that girl in the red coat’s tales of truth. A few months back I decided to change my “tales of truth” series to “full moon monthly” but with the holiday retail season in full swing, I have decided to bring back my original title, since full moon daily, well, doesn’t make sense and may disappoint certain internet users…wait for it…there you go. On with my tales of truth.

“Do you work here?” – a question posed to me as I am pricing and setting up our Christmas display of nail polishes and hand creams, while wearing my shirt with the Salon’s logo. “Yes, I do. I am the manager. Can I help you?” to which she answers “How do I know you are the manager?”…..sigh

A woman comes in asking if I carry Nioxin. I let her know that I do and that I carry the complete line. ( *a GREAT hair care line for anyone suffering from hair loss – check out http://www.nioxin.com – Mario Lopez is the new spokesperson – he is nice to look at…) As I show her my Nioxin display she tells me she just saw it at a department store for $10 less. “That sounds like a great deal, be careful though. When you see professional salon products at the department store it is diverted stock, so you cannot be guaranteed you are getting the real deal. We don’t know what is in those bottles or where they came from.”, to which she said “Oh yeah! Well….how do I know where your product came from huh?!”. – still find it amazing that a 50 year old woman reverts back to school yard tactics. I took a breath and told her I deal directly with the company that supplies Nioxin and I have the invoices to prove it to which she said “Well, I’m going to call Nioxin to find out if you are telling the truth!”, so I gave her their number.

As I am sitting at the front desk merrily humming along to the Christmas tunes echoing from the radio and making up some festive display signs, I hear the chirp of the shop’s door and before I can raise my eyes a woman is leaning over the counter and is about 5 inches from my face “CALL ME A CAB WOULD YA?”. I roll back on my chair – my savior from the close talker. “Pardon me?” I ask. “I need a cab. I just got out of a cab and I need another one.”. Alrighty. So I ask if there is a cab company she prefers to which she says “any one but the one I just used.”. I ask which one she used and she said “the one with the white signs”. …in my town, all 3 companies have white signs. So, I flip through the yellow pages, say a prayer and hope I choose the right cab company. As we are waiting for her cab to arrive, as she darts from my counter to the front door every 10 seconds awaiting her new cab, I was fortunate enough to get to hear all her lovely views on humanity, from cab drivers being lazy to her landlord being an ass to not giving to the Salvation Army because it’s not her fault that people are homeless. I went to correct her, then I remembered, you can’t fix stupid.

The phone rings. I answer with my standard cheery greeting.”Umm,,,yeah…like do you have anything that with help my friend’s hair?”. So, I ask what seems to be the issue with her “friends” hair. “Well….I…I mean she dyed it and it kind of looks funny.”. So, I let her know that I can’t give out color advice, especially over the phone and that I can’t see her “friends” hair. She offers to explain the color to me. I let her know it is best to come into the shop and I can introduce her to one of my stylists and we can go from there, to which she replies “How about I text you a picture of my hair…I mean my friends hair, ‘cuz thats what I did last time and you guys told me what to do”. This is how I found out, and then she found out, she had called the wrong place. ***IMPORTANT TIP*** Never, I mean EVER, take color advice over the phone. Until a stylist is applying color onto your hair, there is no way possible to know what is going to happen to your hair or how that color is going to process. Sure , in theory someone can guess at what will happen, but until it is being applied, there is no sure way of knowing.

A woman, whom I have never met, came into the shop and actually said “I need to pop into the grocery store…can I leave my son here with you? It’ll only be a minute.” …there are no words.

I have a bowl of candies at the front desk for our customers and clients. It is usually filled with Jolly Ranchers and Starburst. One day I didn’t have time for my usual stop for my candy pick up so while I was getting supplies for the shop I grabbed some flavored Tootsie Rolls since the store I was at didn’t carry Starburst. Later that morning as I was ringing through a customer, she made sure I knew that she was quite disappointed in me and my service because I no longer had Starburst in my candy dish and she was looking forward to one. Note to self – always have Starburst.

With that holiday season in full swing I am sure I will have many more festive tales coming your way.