lifestyle, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

Long days in short years

March 16, 2015 That Girl in the Red Coat 2 Comments

Today marks my 3rd anniversary as That Girl in the Red Coat. I had to keep checking the date of my first blog. March 16 2012. Wow. 3 years. I remember the weeks leading up to my first post. I had no idea what I was doing. I was filled with fear and trepidation about what may or may not lay ahead. I was diving into the unknown. I began my blog in hopes of educating the masses about professional hair products, helping stylists and salon managers & owners increase their retail sales and client retention. I wanted to educate and enlighten. What I didn’t know then was how much I would be educated and enlightened, about myself.

Those familiar with my blog know that yours truly is no stranger to insecurities, on every level. I have a library of self help books. I know the “secret” and that I should harness “the power”. I know Jesus loves me. Oprah’s AHA! moments lasted for a moment or two. I tried to Martha and make everything “a good thing”. I was searching for answers and happiness everywhere but where it was, and always had been. In me. I have been the woman locked in the bathroom hating her hair. I have been the woman who had the hairstyle everyone told her she should have…and hating it. I have been the mother who worried too much about other’s opinions on my parenting. I have been the woman who after childbirth was unsure of her body and let it affect her life in the boudoir. I have been the young woman who did not like her reflection. I have been the young girl who listened to the wrong people and continued to listen to them into adulthood. I have been the young girl who thought having hips was awesome until some girl told me they made me look fat. I have also been the 5 year old girl who thought she could be anyone she wanted and do anything she wanted…and I am happy to say, at 42, I again believe this to be true. Letting go of my fear of the unknown and letting go of the fear of what people will think, I found happiness. I feel content. I am proud of my daughter and feel I am doing a good job being her mother. I look into the mirror and like what I see. I have the hairstyle that I like and that I want. I love and am in love with my husband of 20 years. I embrace my curves and from time to time can be caught shakin’ what my momma gave me.

I realized that over the past 3 years the days have been long and the years have been short. I learned some hard lessons, personally and professionally. I have suffered losses and gains. I have had to stand by and witness health issues and mental health issues of my loved ones – and all I could do was offer a soft place to fall. I have learned that it is not all about me – let me tell ya…that was a biggie. I am continuing to learn patience. I have accepted that I can’t control anything or anyone but myself…another biggie for yours truly…huge. I have learned that this too shall pass…in it’s own time.

The most important lesson I have learned is to go for it. Plain and simple. Go for it. The worse thing that can happen is nothing happens and you begin again. I have come to embrace a line from one of my favorite tunes from the Rolling Stones “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find, you get what you need” and it is serving me well. By staying true to myself, letting the chips fall where they may and taking a chance on myself and putting myself and my Salon Tales out there, in 3 years some amazing things have happened and are continuing to happen;

– a 6 time contributor for http://www.salonmagazine.ca

– a contributing author for http://www.hairstlye-blog.com and http://www.visualmakeover.com

– a featured blogger for http://www.justpencilmein.ca

– featured on http://www.girlbodypride.com

– featured in Piidea’s Sept/Oct 2014 Buyers Guide

– featured in ViBrant Magazine

– featured on many professional hair care websites

I am proud of the above accomplishments. What I am most proud of are the personal lessons I have learned and the accomplishments in my relationships that followed – from my marriage, to my friendships, to my family, to my relationship with my lovely daughter. I have also learned to like myself. Ladies and Gents – if you can like and love yourself – everything else slowly falls into place. My anniversary gift for myself and for you is this;

Remember, in this life,

– the days are long and the years are short.

– You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find, you get what you need. – The Rolling Stones

– have the hair style/color YOU want

– You are enough. Plain and simple.

– Always shake what your momma gave you

Beauty, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Timing

February 17, 2015 That Girl in the Red Coat 1 Comment

I came across an interesting quote a few weeks ago and it crossed my path again this weekend, on Valentine’s Day as a matter of fact. “You will be married 7 times in your lifetime…hopefully to the same person”. When I first found this quote…or as I like to think, it found me, my mind shifted and I began to see my marriage differently. All of a sudden, things just made sense. It also reminded me of some wise words bestowed on yours truly by my grandmother Leah. My grandparents had been married over 50 years so I asked her one evening what was the secret to a long and happy marriage. “Never fall out of love with each other at the same time – that’s the secret”. Words I have cradled and held tight ever since.

Everyday at the Salon I meet or chat with a woman who thinks her marriage is falling apart. Seriously. Everyday. Most of these confessions happen as she is looking at hair color swatches. She thinks her husband has lost interest in her. She thinks he is having an affair. She thinks he thinks she isn’t as pretty as she once was. She thinks they have nothing in common anymore. She has noticed that things are just…different. Another constant – she has never discussed any of these thoughts or feelings with her husband and has usually drawn her own conclusions and has played out the divorce court proceedings in her head. Ladies, for the love of all that is good and holy, take a breath. Take another. Yes, your hubby may have changed…guess what? You have as well. Think about it. Look back at how you saw the world 10 years ago, how you dressed, how you viewed yourself. See? You’re different. You are still you, the same person, you’ve just… evolved, and that’s okay.

I am 42 years old and I have been married 20 years. I have known my husband longer than I haven’t known him. Looking back, I realize how much the above quote and my grandmother’s beautiful words ring true – I am sure due in part to my forties and getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy). Over the past 20 years I became a mother. I have lost loved ones dear to my heart. I have been witness to loved ones losing a parent. I have had health issues and scares. I have witnessed health scares and issues of my loved ones. I have been a stay at home mom. I have been a working mom. I have had financial difficulties -some my own fault, some the fault of others. I have had short hair, red hair, brown hair, permed hair – you name it – I’ve done it. Experiences and life changed me, changed my views and my perspectives. Over the past 20 years, I have been many women – always myself – yet depending on the situation at hand, a selected version of myself. I have also been that woman standing in a Salon, staring down at the color swatch book, believing that the right hair color choice would end the search for answers to the never ending stream of questions about her marriage running through her mind.

I am not a hair stylist. I am not a marriage counselor nor am I a therapist. What I am is a woman who has been married over 20 years and is not afraid to talk about those things that people don’t talk about at parties. I am a woman who doubted herself so much that the doubt began to seep into all aspects of her life – her marriage, her parenting, her career, her abilities…you name it – I doubted it. I was afraid of the hard conversations. I was afraid to ask my husband certain questions for fear of his answer. I also was unhappy – with myself – it was easier to blame my marriage, my job, my stylist for giving me the wrong cut, the scale for being broken…you get the picture. In my experience, the majority of doubts of my marriage were of my own making. Yes, gentlemen, you can get up…a woman has admitted her fault…lets move on, shall we? Looking back, many of my doubts were not mine, but the doubts of others. All day long I heard negative after negative about men and marriage and I began to let all those negatives reside rent free in my mind and then the moment an action matched a negative, all hell broke loose…proof it’s love. I am sure there were moments my husband was waiting for my head to spin around.

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, for some. For me, I try to make it everyday. A stolen kiss in the kitchen while my daughter is watching T.V., saying I love you and meaning it with each goodbye every morning and kiss goodnight, giving space or a helping hand when it’s needed. Remembering that when my husband is quiet, maybe he is just quiet. Remembering not to take everything personally and reminding myself it’s not all about me…still a toughie, but I am working on it. Ironing the bed sheets for a comfy slumber (yes, I iron my sheets. It takes 20 minutes out of my week and it feels divine and makes the love of my life happy). Remembering that although we may not agree or like each other’s behavior, we still love each other. Remembering that having separate lives (work, friends, etc…) and separate interests does not mean we are separate – it actually brings us closer together, and always remembering that although the road may get bumpy and words may get ugly and life will tirelessly try to get in the way, love is always waiting for us, if we take the time to find it once more.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Believe

January 19, 2015 That Girl in the Red Coat 1 Comment

believe – accept (something) as true; feel sure of the truth of

Those familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I am a believer that all things are possible. I am 42 and I still think a little pixie dust goes a long way. Today’s tale is a personal one – it’s going to be short, sweet and sassy – like yours truly.

Some great things have happened for me over the past weeks. Yours truly has been invited by sarynaKey to blog about their fabulous products and I will be a featured blogger on http://www.justpencilmein.ca .

Actually, some pretty fantastic things have been happening for me since I began my blog, from being published on websites like http://www.salonmagazine.ca to being invited to some pretty spectacular events, like the Contessa’s and Joico’s Spring Trend Show. Two of the best things happened just last week. The first, as I was having coffee with an old friend. She told me that I looked fabulous – from the inside out. I agreed with her. I look in the mirror and I love what I see. I feel the spring in my step when I walk down the street or the grocery aisle. I no longer fear the change room or trying on a new outfit. The second, my daughter told me I am laughing more. She is right, I am. I gotta admit it, once you start living the life you imagine for yourself and start believing in yourself, good things begin to happen. Not to get all “the Secret” on you, but, thoughts become things and what you focus on does become stronger….oh, and eating well and getting off your ass helps…who knew?!

To be clear, I still have melt down moments. I still lay in bed after shutting off my alarm whining that “I don’t wanna get up!”. I still get pissed off that things aren’t happening fast enough – as you all know – my patience is a work in process. I still look at my exercise bicycle and tell it “to stop mocking me”…and yes, I still venture through the drive thru. I am not as social as I once was – for now. You see, I married young and started a family and now I am focusing on my career, so my free time is precious and my daughter is about to be 18 and still likes to spend time with me and my hubby is still the cutest, sexiest and funniest guy I know – so they get first dibs.

May today’s tale give you that extra nudge you may need to go after what ever it is you want. It can happen. It can.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Year End Review

December 30, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 2 Comments

As the end of 2014 creeps forward and the glimpse of 2015 is on the horizon, my Facebook news feed is flooded with everyone’s “year review” and my Twitter feed is flooded with everyone’s “New Years Resolutweet” …(my word…I like it.). I have women coming in the shop proclaiming their resolution to be a better friend, to be a better parent, to be a better wife, to make more time for others. I have yet to hear anyone tell me what they are going to do for themselves. Yeah, I said it, for themselves. It may seem like the above resolutions are for ourselves, depending on the intention, most of the time, they are not. Becoming a better friend for your friend’s sake, becoming a better parent like Susie’s mom or becoming a better wife – a wife you think your spouse wants is not making a resolution for yourself. Ladies and Gents, if you do not make yourself priority #1, no matter what you may resolve to do in 2015 and the years there after, it will never seem like enough, you will always feel like you came up short. For those of you familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I know of what I speak. I was that woman. The woman who put everyone and everything ahead of herself. The woman who made everyone’s problems and woes her own – be it her husband’s issues with his boss to her child’s issues with the mean girls, if a problem arose, yours truly would swoop in, take it on and fix it…and I was empty and exhausted.

Now, I am not an expert by any means. I am not a prophet nor the guru on the mount. I am a woman who has struggled with self image and self esteem. I have been a woman who tried to live up to the Norman Rockwell images only to end up feeling like I had more in common with Norman Bates. I have been the woman who truly believed Martha Stewart, that if I had the right flatware that all would be right in the world. I was the woman who bought every exercise VHS tape and DVD proclaiming “I will be one of their success stories!” only to be sitting in front of the TV screen, winded and giving the chipper barbie instructor the finger. A few years ago, after getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy) and removing my head from my ass, I realized that resolutions are stupid and instead of making a resolution, I would make a change.

Making a change can be scary, down right terrifying actually. I remember one early morning, my hubby and girl were still asleep. I was sipping my morning coffee and thinking of the petty remarks about my weight loss, like “Oh…trying to become a cougar?”, my blog “what a cute hobby for you” and my professional achievements “she’s just the manager” when I came across this quote “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It is lethal”. – Paulo Coelho. I realized that all the changes I had made for myself – be it my weight loss, chasing my dream of blogging and consulting and taking pride in my position at the shop were the right changes to make. I realized that I was receiving more positive feed back and support than negative. I was surrounded by those who wanted to see me thrive and I them. I realized that those who made me feel selfish for making myself a priority were upset because they were no longer my first priority.

A little proof that making yourself a priority is worth it…since making myself a priority I have been featured on http://www.salonmagazine.ca – my most viewed article to date

http://www.salonmagazine.ca/en/news/1282-3-salon-fails-sales-rep-sees-don-t-tell-you-about.html

and have been fortunate enough to be featured in their magazine

I have been featured in Piidea’s September/October buyers guide

I was invited to the Contessa’s once again by the Beauties at Piidea

My pictures have been featured on Joico’s Instagram feed

…not to mention some pretty FAB! connections and followers on Twitter – check it out @grlintheredcoat

Now, before you think that there is no way you can make yourself a priority and be a good mother, wife, friend, employee – take your pick…give your head a shake. It is possible. If you want it all RIGHT NOW! – give your head another shake. It’s going to take some time. The events mentioned above took over 2 years. Be patient. Make a plan and stick to it. Let your loved ones know, keep them in the loop – not doing so is mean and unthoughtful – plain and simple. Think about it – how can they support you if they do not know what they are supporting? Remember that others are trying to make themselves a priority too and, it is not all about you. Just because you didn’t get a text back 2 seconds after you sent it doesn’t mean you are unloved. Having dinner plans cancelled or altered doesn’t mean you are getting the brush off – sometimes life really does get in the way.

Be kind. Be thoughtful. Take a minute for yourself. Make a change.

Beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Glimpse

December 16, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

This year marks my 25th holiday season in the customer service/retail world. Over the past 25 years I have grown a thick skin. Flying flat irons no longer scare me… not an invitation to call my bluff. Snide remarks, insulting my intelligence and telling me “to make myself useful and throw this out” as you pass me the trash from your purse no longer offends me. I no longer take it personally when I hear the sighs and see the pouts when your favorite polish is out of stock.

I may have grown a thick skin, yet one action still cuts me to the quick. The look of awe in my customer’s eye when I take a moment to listen to them, the look of surprise they have when I remember something about them and ask about their lives. The real kicker – when their eyes well up when they say “I can’t believe you remembered. Thank you so much for that.”. The latter happened this morning. An elderly customer of the shop comes in every year at Christmas. She comes by to purchase gifts for her grand children’s Christmas socks (she refers to their Christmas Stockings as socks, something she called them when she was a girl). When we were walking up to the counter I said “this is a nice addition to your grandson’s Christmas sock.” to which she said “how did you know that?”. I told her I remembered her stories from last year, and it was nice to see her again. She leaned on the counter, her eyes started to glisten a little and she proceeded to tell me that she had lost her husband 2 years ago and was feeling lonesome and forgotten. We ended up chatting for 5 minutes about her hometown growing up and her Christmas memories as a girl. She wished me a Merry Christmas and left smiling and giggling about Christmas.

The moral of today’s tale – be kind. A little kindness goes a long way. Your kindness may be the only glimpse of hope someone will see today, or this week, hell…this year. Someone may be feeling forgotten and your smile makes them feel whole. Someone may be taking their loved one to the hospital and you holding the door open for them gives them one less thing to have to do that day. Giving your spot in the grocery line to the woman with the screaming toddler may give her the break she needs that day to get through until bedtime. Offering to help the elderly carry their packages to their car may give them hope that they are worth the bother. One of my favorite carols says it best…

“…and when you walk down the street, say hello to friends you know and everyone you meet.”

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Hiding out

July 29, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

We’ve all been that person. You know the one. The one who has the answer in Math class but won’t raise their hand in the off chance the answer is incorrect. The one who knows what needs to be said but is afraid of the possible judgement that may follow. The one who knows they could rock a pixie cut but are worried their husband will find them unattractive. The one who knows who they are but stays tucked in the closet because that is where they are safe from judgement. The one who has a dream but cannot begin to chase it in fear of ridicule. The one who knows where their passion lies yet will not pursue it because the financial risk is too great. The one who has one too many at the party to fit in. The one who at one time knew she was pretty but listened to the wrong people and began to believe in them instead of herself. The one who was hiding out.

In a few days, I will be 42 and as you know, 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything (Douglas Adams – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)…I am quite excited! Those familiar with my Salon Tales, it is no secret that yours truly has had issues with self esteem and my reflection. In the past, if you were lucky enough to have me stand still for a picture, I never wanted to look at it. I was also the woman who blamed everything but herself for her weight gain…yes, my daughter was 10 and I still said I was trying to lose my “baby weight” and yes, I was the woman who couldn’t workout because I didn’t own the “right” cross trainers. I was also the woman who kept her hair short for over 12 years because everyone told me how good it looked on me and it “slimmed down my face”. Fast forward to present day. Thanks to getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy), learning to embrace patience – that was a toughie, entering my forties, my hubby’s health issues that made me take a hard look at my diet and how I was feeding my family and, quite honestly, removing my head from my ass and finally allowing myself to be the person I always knew I was. Everything began to fall into place, from my career to my family to my weight and self image issues. Don’t get me wrong, there has been many a tear shed out of fear and frustration. There have been bumps in the road and hurdles to leap over…they just aren’t as ominous.

Proof that patience, believing in yourself, believing that you are worth it, speaking your truth and healthy eating and exercise pays off – posting some pictures because I gotta practice what I preach.

2010 (38) 2013 (41)

With my birthday approaching I wanted to bestow a gift unto you. The gift of permission to be whatever and whomever you want to be. Permission to get your hair colored & styled how you want it styled. To be the person you always knew you were but were too afraid to be. Over the past 4 years I have learned that when you dare to dream and follow that dream, when you allow yourself to follow your passion and are willing to work your ass off, life begins to get pretty good. Another lesson I had to learn, it is not all about you – another toughie for yours truly. Everyone is on their own journey and they have their own road map to follow. Their paths may not be the same as yours. Maybe your paths will cross, maybe they won’t. Their journey is just as important as yours and their hopes and fears should not be belittled. I know I put my foot in it a few times and have since apologized. Last but never least, you must be kind, not only to others, but to yourself.

Be kind. Be patient. Love yourself and know your worth. Love others and show them their worth. …it’s time to stop hiding out.

*UPDATE! Proof that when you are true to yourself, it keeps on getting better and better. Yours Truly at the Contessa’s November 2014, courtesy of the Beauties at Piidea & Joico. Dress courtesy of Netty Vintage.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

Can you fix this?

July 14, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

“The bottle promised bright pink hair! Can you fix this?”. “All I asked for was a bob, I didn’t want to look like a Bob! Can you fix this?”. “I was told if I used 40 volume peroxide that my hair would be platinum blonde! Can you fix this?”. These, among others, are common questions posed to me and my stylists at least once a day. At some point in our lives, we have taken our hair into our own hands and realized, oh…that’s why I am not a hair stylist. The great thing about all hair mishaps? They can be fixed. Color can be corrected. Damage from over processing can be repaired with conditioning treatments. Curls can be defined and their frizz controlled. With time and proper products, even the most botched of cuts can look good. That’s the great thing about the Salon, we can help repair the damage. Sometimes, we can even help repair the damage that isn’t seen.

Unfortunately, there are some things I cannot fix. “Look at her scalp! It’s soooo oily! Can you fix this?”. “She decided to try to color her own hair and now looks like she should be on a street corner! Can you fix this?”. “HMMPPT! He thinks he needs gel for his hair…what a diva I have for a son! Can you fix this?”. Yes, I am sad to say, these are phrases that parents have said, about their children, in front of their children, to me. It is usually at this moment I look the child straight in the eye and tell them “I may not be able to fix everything for you, but I can help you with your hair.” and I give them a wink. Once and for all, to all the parents and care givers out there;

– STOP pointing at your child’s oily scalp and proclaiming it as an injustice against you. The only injustice is against your child’s self esteem

– Do not, I repeat, do not refer to your daughter in a derogatory manner. EVER. How is she ever going to know her self worth if all she hears is worthless remarks.

– Young men want to like their reflection too. To make fun of a young man who wants his hair styled just so is mean,plain and simple. I don’t know where it began, teasing men that take pride in their appearance, but I know where it is going to end. Right here. Right now.

– When your teen wants to try a new hairstyle, let them. It’s only hair. It will grow back. Here’s a thought…if the only struggle you are facing with your teen is that they want a mohawk…this is a good problem to have.

– If your child wants to have pink hair, I highly recommend trying hair chalk – Kevin Murphy Color Bug or Joico Structure Pigment Pencils – the color washes out after one wash. It’s a win/win. Your child gets to have fun colors in their hair without the damage and you get to have a tantrum free day.

– For your curly haired cherubs – First, stop referring to their head as a tangled horrible mess. Second, invest in Salon Professional products. DevaCurl is an amazing product line, created for curls of every type. Check out the awesome tutorials on their website http://www.mydevacurl.com

– If your son wants long hair – do not tell him long hair is for girls. If your daughter wants short hair – do not tell her short hair is for boys. If you are worried about what people will think, sorry to tell you this, that is your problem – not your child’s. *this being said, as their parent, be sure to help them style their hair, or have the stylist teach them.

I am a mother and I have put my foot in it many times, of that I am certain. Another certainty…that I have needed to apologize on many an occasion, not necessarily for what I said, but how I said it. As parents, we teach our children to think before they speak. I think it’s time we taught ourselves the same lesson.

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, music, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

My Dad, Meatloaf and me

June 15, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 1 Comment

After 22 years, the retail gods have smiled upon me and yours truly has Saturday’s off from the Salon – a rare occurrence in our industry. At our shop I am needed more from Monday to Friday, as the owner is in the shop every Saturday if a customer service issue should arise. As I was running errands yesterday, the sunshine warming my soul, windows down, a fresh cool breeze blowing my hair out of my face, a song came on the radio that catapulted me back to 1977, Camaro’s, Meatloaf’s Bat out of Hell and memories of my Dad. Those of you familiar with my tales know of my musical references – My love of music comes from my Dad. He would blare Bat out of Hell with the windows down in the Camaro.(for a 7 year old driving past the cute boy’s house…this was a BIG deal). He would sing along to The Guess Who and Gordon Lightfoot. He would play me chords of his favorite Beatles songs on his guitar. He taught me the difference between Bach and Bachman Turner Overdrive.

I am going to give you all a little glimpse behind the curtain. Who I am today has a lot to do with my Dad. (to the rest of my clan…calm down…love you too…). You see, I was not your typical little girl. Sure, I played with Barbie’s, I would dress them up, have them pretend to go on dates. I would also pretend that they were beating up bullies and would get out my markers and draw a black eye on the receiver of the final blow. I didn’t like wearing dresses…unless it was my birthday or there was a promise of a photo op. (when I was little I firmly believed that a movie director would see me one day and say “finally…we found her”.). I was the kid who beat up the bullies or took down the kid hurting the neighbourhood cats. I was also the kid who slept with 20 stuffed animals (my protector’s from things that go bump in the night) and every so often went to bed wearing my housecoat and slippers in case there was a fire, I was prepared. I loved sports and was known to twirl after I scored a goal or hit a home run. I could go from Rocky Balboa to Dorothy Gale in 3.2 seconds…and my Dad never tried to change that. Ever. Even throughout my turbulent teens, hell, my early adulthood, he always gave me a soft place to fall. My Dad let me be whoever I had to be at the time. He forgave my anger. He let me have my anger without judgement. My Dad gave me the space and the time to find myself…the person he always knew I was, just that I had forgotten.

Whenever I am feeling a little lost, or can’t seem to get past a block in the road, I listen to Meatloaf. Yep. Meatloaf. With my headphones on and the tunes cranked up, unbeknowst to my Dad (until now), I am reminded of who I am. I am that girl who can do anything she wants, be anything she wants and am off like a Bat out of Hell.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Great Expectations

May 4, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

Spring is upon us. Yes, I know Mother Nature is taking her sweet time welcoming Spring across the threshold, I assure you, Spring is in the air. Every year, around this time is when it begins. Ladies and Gents are looking to brighten up their lives and change it up a bit after their Winter hibernation, and usually the change begins with their hair, usually with the holy trinity of hair – a new cut, a new style and a new color. Today’s tale is to help you and your stylist make the transition to the new and improved you a positive experience, where the only tears shed are tears of joy.

We’ve all been there. Flipping through our favorite fashion magazine or surfing the beauty pins on Pinterest and at long last, our lifetime search for the perfect hairstyle appears in front of our eyes. The clouds part, the sun’s rays illuminate the image before us and in the distance we hear the faint echo of the angel’s singing. We run to the nearest Salon, the picture that the heaven’s bestowed on us in hand and burst through the door exclaiming “I want my hair to look like this!”. First things first…unless you are Jennifer Lopez, you will not look like Jennifer Lopez. We can help you have hair that looks like her hair (with an investment of some hair extensions), we cannot make you an exact replica. For those familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I have told you that when you want to change your hair it is always best to bring a picture (a color picture) with you to your appointment. This being said, you have to remember that the picture is a guide line for the stylist, they may not be able to achieve the exact color or cut you desire – hence why honesty on your part and a proper consultation by your stylist is key. Being me, I have compiled a little list for you all, a guide line of sorts;

– when looking to change your hair color, be prepared that the color you desire may not be able to be achieved in one appointment – if you have been using box dye to achieve your raven black locks and have now decided you can rock the golden tresses of Khaleesi, no amount of dragon fire will make that achievable in one appointment.

– many …not all, but many of the women you see on the pages of your favorite fashion magazine are wearing extensions, either for length or volume or both.

– ALL the hair styles you see have one thing in common – PRODUCT. To achieve volume, hold or texture, you must use styling products and styling tools. *Many styling products that are created to help you achieve volume are thermally activated – you need to use a hair dryer for the best results.

– always let your stylist know if you have been using a box dye at home. There is no judgement – the stylist needs to know that there is a possibility of the color going a little funky. When the stylist is aware of what they may have to deal with, they can mix the color accordingly to achieve the desired result, or as close to it as possible.

– when looking to change your hair style, ALWAYS ask the stylist how much daily effort it takes on your part to keep up the style. Find out if you need to have a flat iron to achieve the desired look, or if you need a pomade and a hairspray. * In my decade of experience in Salon Retail many times the cut and color given were spot on, at the Salon. Unfortunately the stylist at the Salon the customer went to never explained how to style the new ‘do, nor was any direction given on what tools, styling or otherwise were needed.

– REDS. One thing you must know if you are going to color your hair red. It will fade. No matter what you do, it will fade. The red molecule is too big to properly penetrate the hair, so it will fade the quickest. Reds have the most upkeep, so if you like to go to the Salon every 8 – 10 weeks, red may not be the color for you. * Sulfate free shampoo’s can help retain the vibrancy of your reds a little longer – Joico Color Endure is now sulfate free.

*** NEW ADDITION to the Joico Family – Color Infuse Red – a color depositing Shampoo and Conditioner to bring the life back to your fabulous red tresses!

– many of the vibrant colors tend to fade quicker than the other shades. Healthy Sexy Hair has an awesome product to help keep your vibrant locks bright – Reinvent Color Care Top Coat. This gem is suitable for all hair types. It is a clear coat for your hair – think of a top coat for your nails – this product is a top coat for your hair color. It also gives a boost to the color in between services by adding more gloss and sheen.

– you will have regrowth. The hair color penetrates the hair, not the scalp. Once your hair begins to grow, you will have a line of regrowth. If regrowth bugs you, or you don’t have the time for root touch ups every 3 weeks, there are many options open to you. One of the most popular is the Ombre or Reverse Ombre….or, like yours truly, have blonde on top and dark underneath so when my roots come in it looks like it’s on purpose….smoke & mirrors baby….smoke and mirrors.

– pixie cuts are great, I have had every imaginable pixie cut known to man. A pixie cut, although short requires maintenance and product, something to think about if you are just a wash & go kind of girl.

– for my Gents – there are great hairstyle options for you today. Most require a little time and effort on your part, so if you are like your female counter parts and do not want to fuss with your hair, the New Side Part may not be for you.

– another for my lovely Gents – your beard and your moustache require a little attention and product as well. American Crew has a great product line for shaving and facial hair maintenance – American Crew Shave.

One last little bit of advice. If you are feeling the need to change your hair, or your hair color, be sure it is your need. Changing your hair or yourself for that matter, for any one other than yourself, will always end in tears and frustration. You will never be happy with your reflection because it is not the reflection you want. Hair color mishaps can be corrected, hair will grow, clothes can be returned or given to charities. A broken spirit or lack of love of your reflection is not as easily repaired.

Everyone has their own definition of beauty. Be your own kind of beautiful.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, music, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Hold Factor

April 14, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

I really was going to tell a tale of hairspray and the difference between the level of hold, or hold factor different sprays have, alas, that will have to be another tale for another time. As I began to write about hold factors, I found myself thinking about the hold factor of people, emotions and thoughts we allow in our lives. …what can I say, I have had 4 cups of coffee and this is how my mind works. As you know, I manage a Retail shop/Salon. The Salon is a place that men and women come to feel better about themselves, to improve their reflection, to find what was once lost. Some days, ours is a place of refuge from the pushes and pulls of their daily lives. It is their escape from whatever may have a hold on them that day – be it a sick child, an aging parent and more often than not, an escape from what they really think of themselves – or what they think they are supposed to think of themselves.

For those of you familiar with my Salon Tales, you know that I haven’t always been the confident, classy, sassy and a tad smart-assy woman that I am today. I have been the young woman who missed out on trips to the beach because I wasn’t “beach body ready”. I have been the woman who was afraid to leave the house without her make up on. I have been the mother feeling like a failure because I thought it was protocol to drop my child off at the Birthday party, not stay and stand in line for my turn at pin the tail on the donkey. …speaking of which, whatever happened to dropping your kid off at their friends birthday party and picking them up when the party is over?…back to the tale at hand. I have been the woman who was judged because her 3 year old daughter knew the words to Domino by KISS. I have been the woman who put her dreams on the back burner out of fear of judgement from those who told me that “as a mother, to be fulfilled, your children should be enough.”. – now I know that they were drinking their own kool aid. …wait for it…there you go.

Today’s tale is aimed at all the Ladies and Gents (yes Gents – men have hold factors too Ladies), to remind you that you are enough, that you are worth what ever you think you are worth – and only your opinion matters.

– For all the mothers out there – we are supposed to be in this together. If you are a stay at home mom or a working mom – we love our kids the same, we have the same worries and hopes for our children, we our mothers – no better, no worse. I stayed home with my daughter until she was 5 – that was a personal choice that worked best for my family. Never once did I shun the working mom – if anything I asked if she needed my help. An additional tale for your viewing pleasure;

Beware of yoga pants & ponytails

– Do you have a dream? Is there something you have always wanted to do, ever since you can remember? Then do it. As parents, the best thing we can do for our children is pursue our passions and chase our dreams. How are our children going to learn to dream if we don’t show them how?

– Go to the beach. Just go. Forget about being “beach body ready” and go and have fun. No matter what your weight or bust size – we all get sand in our suits.

– Unless your name is on the birthday invitation to little Johnny’s birthday party – you do not have to stay at the party. Trust me, the parents that frown when you drop off your child and ask “what time should I pick them up?” are wishing they had the guts to do the same.

– Ladies and Gents – let your spouses/partners choose the hair style they like, that they feel most comfortable with, that makes them feel desirable. It doesn’t matter how good you think a certain cut will look on them if it makes them feel ugly and inadequate.

– The above goes for stylists as well. Never let a stylist tell you what cut you should have. It is a stylist’s job to help you find the look you want, not tell you the look you want. If you aren’t sure about making a drastic change with your hair, don’t do it.

– I once read that “worrying is praying for what you don’t want” – remember that the next time you worry about the opinions of others.

– If you want to change your hair color – go for it.*at the Salon. Becoming a blonde was the best thing I ever did. It hides my gray’s and I do have a lot of fun …proving that blondes are NOT dumb.

– Introduce your children to music, from Mozart to Metallica. Music will open their minds and lift their spirits, no matter what the genre.

In the wee small hours of the morning, all that matters is what you think. All that matters is you have done your best and that you will continue to strive for better. All that matters is that you are kind. All that should be important is what you deem to be so. The only hold factor you should be concerned about is the hold factor of your favorite styling product.