Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

There she is!

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So here it is, the eve of the day before my 40th. birthday. In recent days every time I turn on the radio I hear an 80’s classic, I turn on the television and an 80’s movie is playing and I am constantly catapulted back in time with memories of ozone burning hairspray clouds in the girl’s bathroom, acid wash everything, loving a girls hair just to have her turn around and realize she is a he and then instantly asking “who did your perm?!?!”. I am also reminded of the person I really am. The fearless “Don’t like it? Don’t look” girl I was in my youth is coming back, and I am so happy to see her again. I lost her along the way, as we all have. I listened to the wrong people, believed the wrong hype. Today’s tale is more of a personal one.

The year was 1995. I was happily married (yes, I married at 22 and am still married to the same person and yes I still love him…I even like him, and I thank my lucky stars every day for him because he has always been there to kick my butt and give me a soft place to fall.). My mother had received a complimentary Mary Kay makeover and invited me along. It was terrific. The Mary Kay rep. wasn’t pushy, had lots of helpful hints and made my mother feel special. We laughed so much our mascara ran. It was a great afternoon. A few days later my phone rang and it was the Mary Kay rep.. She was calling because she said she loved my personality and thought I had such flare and a grasp of the products that she wanted to take me to a sales meeting and bring me on board. It was at this moment that I choked. I literally choked and couldn’t speak. It took me what felt like an eternity to compose myself and decline her offer. As I hung up the phone, I sank to the kitchen floor and sobbed. It was at this moment I was made to face the fact that I thought I wasn’t pretty enough to sell makeup, that I was too ugly and would be laughed at. Then I got angry. Angry at myself for letting the world get at me, for believing that a girl/woman had a certain role to fill, that having an opinion meant I was difficult, that my self confidence meant I had “too much pride” and was “too tough”.

At some point in the life of every woman, she feels inadequate, or stupid or even ugly. I am here to tell you what I tell my 15 year old daughter. We cannot stop what others may do or say to us, we can stop what we do or say to ourselves. I used to look back on myself with judgement and ridicule. Now I look back at that time and am grateful. It made me take a hard look at my life. It made me take a long hard look at who I had allowed into my head, rent free.

Long story short, I am proud to say that I have many an opinion and will share it whenever I choose, I am self confident and am over flowing with pride and I am tough. I am also kind and honest and truly believe that dreams can come true. A few little one’s  did…I am a Manager at a Salon/Retail shop, I met Tabatha Coffey, I am writing a blog about beauty and feeling pretty with every letter I type.

 

Beauty, communication, entertainment, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

For Nora

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As I started my blog today, I was going to write about something else entirely. I started my tale by explaining my favorite coffee when my mind was catapulted to one of my favorite scenes from “You’ve got mail”. You know the scene…when Kathleen Kelly is at Starbuck’s laughing to herself remembering Joe Fox’s description of people feeling like they made a decision by ordering their coffee. (of course, she didn’t know it was Joe Fox and he didn’t know it was Kathleen, and oh….watch it again….so wonderful).

It was right then I realized that is was Nora Ephron and her lovely movies and screenplays that made me feel like I too could be something great. Ms. Ephron is one of the major reasons I began blogging. Whenever I feel I can’t do it, or don’t have anything to offer or contribute, I remember watching “Julie and Julia” and thinking (like Julie) “I could do a blog. Yeah…I can write”. The first time I watched “Sleepless in Seattle”, my husband got up from the couch, put out his hand, and started to dance with me. I never tire of “When Harry met Sally”. Every time I watch it I hear my father’s laugh, even when he’s not in the room. In fact I just introduced my 15 year old daughter to that movie last month.

Whenever I saw Ms. Ephron on T.V. doing an interview or read an article on her or by her, I felt like I was watching or listening to a friend. Yes, I know I am about to turn forty – I still believe that a little fairy dust goes a long way. She was funny and honest and articulate and intelligent, something I strive to be. All of her character’s resembled a part of me, or someone I knew.

The world has lost our beloved Nora, although she is never far away. Head on down to your local video store and you will find her there on the shelves ,waiting to share her stories.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

An “A” for effort

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Lately I have met many women and a few gents that seem to be on a quest. A quest for the right product that will change their life and make everything alright. Now, I must admit, I love to help people out and have no problem selling them the awesome salon products I sell at the shop. I love when the product I suggest works for them and makes them happy. I also like when they tell me when they are not happy with the product, so I can help them find the right one. (I don’t really enjoy when they throw said product at me because I can’t return it because the manufacturer changed their policy…hate the game, not the player.).

“What will make my hair look better?”. “My friend says I need Dry Shampoo”. “My friend uses Moroccanoil and met her husband on E Harmony”. “I don’t know…what do you think I should buy?”. Phrases I hear on a weekly basis. Everyone looking for a magic potion, an easy road, a quick answer. Usually my response is not always welcomed because I tell it like it is. If you want your hair to look good, you have to put forth a little effort. If you want your life to be good…guess what…ya gotta put a little effort in. I had a young lady come to the shop in need of a flat iron. I showed her what we had. After having to explain the features of the first five flat irons I showed her, I asked “What is it exactly that you are looking for?”, to which she responded “I don’t know, can you tell me what I want?”. I told her, “I can show you what you may like, but you have to decide which to purchase, I cannot decide for you.”. To which she responded “that’s what my congregation keeps telling me…that I have to make my own decisions….they are praying for me.”. I looked at her, silently reminding myself “not to show my thoughts on my face”, and told her “god may show you a door, but he’s not gonna open it.”. To which she gaped at me, then laughed out loud. (whew….no flying flat irons today).

What I have come to realize is this….these lovely souls think they are searching for hair product, but more times than not, they are in search of something else, something bigger. They want a quick fix for their hair dilemma as well as the dilemma’s of their lives. We all want to feel attractive, we all want to be seen and heard, we all want fulfillment in our lives and relationships. Guess what…you can have all these things, you just have to put a little effort in. You can have volume at your roots and have a great love life… you have to put a little effort in.

I can sell you the right products to help you have the hair you have always dreamed of, as for providence and serenity, all I can do is offer it.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

A Bluming notion…

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I woke this morning, smiled and cheered “hello” to my teenage daughter, grabbed my cup of  joe and my new smartphone and sat down to hear one of my new favorite sounds, a whistle. (my choice of notification notice). I open up my new found twitter account to see some tweets about Judy Blume and all of a sudden I am flooded with childhood memories. Sitting on my butterfly quilt reading “Otherwise known as Sheila the Great” realizing that I too was normal. Reading “Starring Sally J. Freedman as herself” and imaging I was Sally and wondering what it must be like to be her. Sitting in the living room of the house we were about to move from reading “Are you there God? It’s me Margaret” realizing I wasn’t alone and turning 13 was gonna be okay. Being 16 and working on my tan in the backyard reading “Forever” and all the while I was reading it couldn’t believe it was my mother who gave it to me.

As all these memories flooded my mind I came to realize I need to thank Judy Blume. Her books were my friends, they were there no matter what, I could go back to them whenever I needed them, without judgement. You see, she helped me feel normal as I was growing up. I came to realize that I was like some of her character’s and people thought her character’s were pretty and funny and intelligent so that means I must be also. Among others who will be mentioned when the need arises, Judy Blume  helped this woman feel pretty and normal as she was growing up. (I know…quite the “lightbulb” moment while on my first cup of coffee at 6 a.m.).

I am telling this tale today in hopes that it will rekindle the love of yourself (and of reading) and everything that is beautiful about yourself. We all have the younger version of ourselves tucked away and stored in a closet or drawer (I don’t  know how you decorate your house of memories…mine is an old Victorian cottage) and it is time to bring them out into the sun. It is time to remember who we were in our youth – that is who we really are – you know – before the world got at us and tried to tell us who we were and what we should be.

Today, have fun. Laugh. Be who you want to be. I’ll be busy re introducing myself to me and getting my daughter my stash of Judy Blume books.

Beauty, Business, communication, Fashion, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

The jig is up

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I’m going to let you in on a little secret and I hope I am forgiven. Men have hair issues too. I’m not talking about back hair or south of the border over growth – that is another tale for another day. I am talking about their lovely locks or lack there of on top of their heads.

I have found there are two types of men looking for hair products or answers to their personal hair dilemma. Type 1 – struts into the store, sunglasses on, shirt open, always using the same opening line “Got anything to make me more beautiful?” as they rub some part of their body. (do they get a handbook in the high school locker room?). Type 2 – won’t make eye contact, doesn’t want help, wanders around the store until he wanders up to the counter, leans on his elbow and asks out of the corner of his mouth “what do you have for men in here?” (like we are in a high tense spy movie and he’s about to drop the secret briefcase).

Now, something to remember, men are as sensitive if not more than women when it comes to their hair – only one other asset has greater importance. Yeah, I said it. An unfortunate fact is most men will suffer from hair loss or a receding hair line. Think about it for a minute – when women are little girls – they look at their mother and get to see the killer heels they will one day wear and the great accessories and they will get to have great hair and highlites. When men are little boys – they look at their father and get to see a receding hair line or Mr. Clean. Sure they also see the strength and the great car their Dad drives – but the hair loss is always in the picture and always in the back of their minds. It is a genuine fear for most men that they will lose their hair, and rightfully so – come on ladies – you know you freak out if you see more than one strand of hair in your brush.

Another tidbit of info. – ladies – you know when we look at magazines or actresses up on the silver screen and judge our figures accordingly? Guess what – when men are looking at magazines or the actor up on the silver screen – they do it too – they just don’t show it. We as women are fortunate as we are allowed to voice these fears and insecurities – men are not – at least not in public.

A little list of professional hair care lines for our gents –

MITCH – Paul Mitchell – a little line – Shampoo, Conditioner, body wash, pomades and gels – the newest addition to the Paul Mitchell family

American Crew – Shampoo’s & Conditioners for all hair types – thick, grey, dry, oily. An array of styling products and a beautiful Shave line and Classic fragrance. – the smell makes a woman think of Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis, take your pick.

Quantum – The Fix Gel in this line is awesome.

FixMen – another little line that is not well known but terrific. Has an array of styling products with a matte finish (* most guys don’t want the shine).

Be kind – as I have stated in blogs before – do not make fun of a man’s hair – EVER. It is cruel – plain and simple. Try to remember that the men in our lives are not just men, they are human beings with fears and insecurities. Treat them as you want to be treated. ( oh – another little secret….if they bring home a gold bikini and brown bun hair pieces for you – don’t be afraid, don’t question it…it’s a guy/star wars/ princess Leia thing).

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Bring it on

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We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. – Joseph Campbell

Today’s tale is more of a personal decree. I am hoping today’s tale may help at least one more person out there to have a better day today and even a better day tomorrow.

In recent weeks I have found myself bombarded with negativity. Be it from clients, customers, friends, even squirrels – yes, I have a squirrel that sits in my driveway attempting to play chicken with my car with a “oh you think” glint in his eye. I have had nasty comments made about my hair, my marriage, my life in general. To this I say – BRING IT ON! You see, I am breaking the mold that others had created and people don’t seem to like that. I am now living my life the way I want to live it and in a way that is best for me and in turn for my family.

There was a time that I would have let all this negativity control me, detour me off the path I am supposed to be on. No more. I have come to realize that when someone is happy with their life and improving themselves, most people will try to push you down, hold you back or be generally nasty to you – and that’s ok. Most of the time they are afraid that if you move forward, they will be left behind. If you improve in any aspect of your life, they will be left feeling inadequate. If you have great hair, no one will look at them. If you behave, their rudeness will be seen.

That being said, there are many of us out there like myself that are truly happy for any achievement you may have, be it losing that last 5 pounds, getting the promotion, finally learning how not to get the round brush caught in your hair (something I have yet to master.). When you feel like the world is going crazy, when you feel as though you are being kicked in the teeth or punched in the stomach, when people, even your loved ones mock what it is you are trying to do – stay true to the path you are on, keep on keepin’ on. It’s gonna be hard, even lonely at times, that’s how you know you are doing the right thing and on the right path. When the goin’ gets tough, the tough get goin’. My Dad was right. Again.

 

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Paging Dr. Ruth…

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In these days of Shades of Grey, I feel I must speak about our relationships with our significant other. EVERYDAY, in the salon I hear of someone’s romance woes. How their husband doesn’t pay them enough attention, or that their boyfriend keeps doing the wrong thing, or may all time favorite “we haven’t been intimate in months”. (sometimes I cannot help but wonder if the third complaint listed is not a direct result of the first two.). Now, If you are single, I get it, it is hard for the singles out there. There are a lot of crazies and it seems as though everyone has enough baggage to fill a 747. For those of us in a relationship/marriage, I believe we can be the crazies bringing more baggage into the relationship than we had when it began.

Ladies, and I say ladies because in all honesty we are usually the ones that turn nothing into something. Come on now, lets be honest, we have all been her. You can blame your boss, the kids, PMS, whatever – you know you have done it, started an argument for no real reason. Ladies, it is time to take a breath. Again, a deeper breath this time. Now that I have your attention, listen carefully….It is not your husband’s/boyfriend’s/partner’s job to keep you happy and satisfied – in all areas. Yeah, I said it. Yes, we deserve kindness, honesty, respect and love – everyone does. That being said, it is your responsibility and yours alone to achieve satisfaction and happiness – in all areas (nudge,nudge, wink, wink). It is uncalled for and unfair to expect another human being to make you happy when you are not happy with yourself. It is just plain mean to complain that your significant other doesn’t satisfy your needs when you have never told them what those needs are…come on, even Christian Grey had to ask Miss. Steele what she wanted.

Men are simple creatures – no offense or disrespect implied. All they want is a little peace and quiet, a good sandwich, a little lovin’ and a big T.V.. Oh and just so you know, and your children will someday know -when it come’s to the “bow chica wow wow” they don’t care if your roots are showing, they don’t care if you gained weight, all they care about it that they have a woman in front of them who they love and they get to touch her, plain and simple.

I know, you are thinking “this is supposed to be a blog about beauty” – well this is an important part of beauty. It does not matter how pretty the present is wrapped if the box is empty. It is time to be accountable to ourselves, about ourselves. It is time to be kinder and gentler to ourselves and those we love. It is time to stop having everyone else’s arguments, or blaming our significant other that our lives aren’t what we planned – it is not their fault you are unhappy – Yeah, I said it! It’s true. We teach people how to treat us, so go out there and educate those you love, you may find you learn a little something along the way.

Hair Care, health and wellness

For the boys…

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Today I bring you a tale of a delicate nature. Today’s tale is about hair loss. I know I usually come at these tales from a woman’s perspective, not today. Today I represent the men. Ladies – it is time to be kinder to our men, to remember that they like to look good  for themselves too. We always talk about how women hate their hair or hate the way they look…guess what? Men feel the same way too. I have heard too often a woman teasing her boyfriend/husband about his receding hair line or beer gut. That is not nice, plain and simple. Think about it – what would happen if he teased you about your roots or your muffin top? He’d be pushin’ up daisies and you know it.

Men feel they have no where to go or no one to talk to about their hair or lack there of. Well, here I am and I am going to shed some light for y’all. I have one word for you – NIOXIN.

Nioxin is a professional hair care line created to stop hair loss in it’s tracks and in some cases help the hair grow back. (*If there has been no hair growth in a spot for over 6 years – unfortunately no hair will ever grow in that spot again.). Nioxin is a 3 step program – The Cleanser(Shampoo), Scalp Therapy(Conditioner), and the Scalp Treatment(a leave on foam treatment). The key to this system is you have to use all 3 products. The Scalp Treatment is the kicker – it cleanses the hair follicle and rids the scalp of debris such as dead skin, product build up and DHT (Dihydrotestosterone). Big word – I know – look below…

*Testosterone converts into the toxin DHT which resides in the hair follicle

* Stress can cause over production of testosterone – so chill.

There are other regimes to help with hair loss on the market. I speak of Nioxin because I have seen first hand many success stories, both for women and men. It has won awards 10 years running. Redken has a line out for hair loss – IntraForce. It has been on the market for over 1 year now. I have had some clients try it and have yet to see major results, not like what I have seen with Nioxin. Nioxin has formulations for those who don’t chemically treat their hair – #1 for early stages of thinning, #2 for noticeably thinning. For those that do chemically treat their hair – #3 for early stages of thinning, #4 for noticeably thinning. Nioxin offers an array of styling products from pomades to gels to hairspray.

There are many factors that cause hair loss. Stress, diet, genetics, illness, medications, your teenager learning to drive. Next time you see your man frowning in the mirror or refusing to leave the house without a hat – show them my blog, forward it to their phone or their email. Let them know they are not alone and there is an answer. Remember ladies – you teach people how to treat you – so if you are constantly nagging and teasing what do you think you will get in return?

Beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Permission granted

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This tale is for all the women out there that are afraid of their voice. You know who you are. At some point we have all been her. You know the one…the one who keeps her opinions to herself , the one who doesn’t speak her mind, the one who goes along with everything out of fear of rocking the boat. The one who still speaks in a cutesy high pitched voice. The one who hates her hair cut so much she cries on her way home from the Salon but won’t tell her stylist because it might hurt their feelings or the stylist won’t like them anymore.  I know, we have heard all our lives, “be the good girl”, “just smile and be polite”, “boys don’t like girls who talk too much”, “the stylist knows best”. I have come to realize, all these lessons were taught to us out of fear. Our parents, teachers,mentors (take your pick) only knew fear, so that is what the majority of girls were taught, fear. Fear of what may happen if you speak your mind, fear of what may happen if you choose not to go with the flow, fear of being alone. As Maya Angelou says “when you know better, you do better”. Ladies, (and gents), it is time to “do better”.

Every day, I mean EVERYDAY, a woman will come into the shop or the salon, her eyes at the floor, mumbling a request. I make it my personal mission in life to raise these people up. I ask them what they need, what they are looking for and I always get the same response “I don’t know, what do you think?”. In turn I answer “I think you should have pink hair”…and then I give a gentle friendly giggle and tell her I want to help her feel better about her hair. I ask her what picture she has in her head of what she wants her hair to look like. 9 out of 10 women tell me they don’t like the style they have now, that their stylist doesn’t listen to them and that they hate the color of their hair. This is when I tell them “it is time to find your voice”. I reassure them, the world will not open up and swallow them whole if they speak their mind. That if they are able to yell at the girl at the drive thru for getting their coffee order wrong, I think they can talk to their stylist about what they want.

As women, we worry about what people are thinking about us or saying about us. It is time to stop worrying. As my Dad often says “worry is a debt that never comes due”. He’s right. People are going to talk no matter what, it’s what they do. Live the life you want, have the hair style and color you want, wear the clothes you like. Find your voice, embrace it, walk with your head held high, make eye contact. If you are still a little worried you are going to hurt someone’s feelings – get them a present – buy them “knitting for dummies” and tell them “here is your new hobby.”.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

What you see is what you get

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I have decided. I have another mission. I am going to use my blog not only to educate the masses about their hair and the professional products they need to use, I am going to raise up the masses as well. It is time ladies and gents, time to like what you see when you look in the mirror, or when you ponder idea’s of yourself.

If you think you are ugly, guess what? Ugly is the only thing that will come out of your mouth and ugly is all you will ever see, not only in your reflection, but in your daily life. I am not trying to get all “Law of attraction” on you, it is just a fact. There was a time when yours truly thought she was too ugly to go to a Broadway show. Yep, sounds stupid, doesn’t it? I had gotten in my own way. I had let the negative ideas about myself and my looks to take control. Long story short, I went to the show. The car ride there probably wasn’t the best memory for my boyfriend (now my hubby…gotta be true love). I truly thought that when I arrived the doorman or usher would look at me like “what is she doing here?”. I ended up loving the show and no one escorted me out of the building. I actually got a compliment on my dress and hair while powdering my nose. I confessed this to you all so you are all clear – I know of what I speak.

Yes, I admit, we were not all blessed with the beauty of Christie Brinkley (have you seen her?!?! All I can say is  WOW!).I know that we all do not have the athletic abilities of the William’s sisters (..the tennis champions…come on people, keep up with me now.). What we all do have is something unique about us. A cute dimple where no one but you and that special someone knows its location, you can recite 18th. century prose at the drop of a hat, you are a cancer survivor, you can juggle. Whatever it may be, however small and silly you may think it is, it is a part of you and it should be celebrated. I know, I can hear you all now “But people will think I am conceited”, “Oh, that would make me seem too proud”. Now, if you walk around town or post on facebook every hour that you are so awesome…yeah…a little conceit. If you think it…not conceit. That is called liking and loving yourself my friend.

Find that one thing you love about yourself. You have great feet, your hands look like a hand model’s hands, you have long eye lashes so you don’t need mascara, you know 5 languages, you can make a killer pot roast, you can run like the wind blows as Forrest Gump would say. Whatever it is, embrace it. Once you start to truly love one thing about yourself, all of a sudden you will love something else, and so on. If you decide not to see the good things about yourself and decide you are not lovable, one thing I can guarantee – you won’t be seeing many Broadway shows.