Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Don’t ask…don’t get.

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“Every time I try to find a new hair stylist the first thing I ask them is “What cut would you give me?”. Then they always say the wrong thing so I get up and leave.”. Yes, ladies and gents, this is something I have heard not one but many women say. It has to be one of the dumbest phrases uttered in my presence and believe me, I have heard some pretty stupid stuff. These are the same women who do the same thing to their husbands/boyfriends/partners and complain that they are not happy…ever. First of all, unless your stylist is Dionne Warwick or an operator at the Psychic Network, it is impossible for them to know what cut you have envisioned in your pretty little head. Second, what is this? Third grade? Talk about setting someone up to fail. That is rude and just plain mean, and stupid. Which brings me to today’s tale or lesson if you will. I have been married over 17 years and every once and a while I fall off the wagon and start blaming my lovely hubby for my malcontent and it is not his fault. The fault is mine and I am just looking for someone else other than myself to blame. (He is LOVING that I am admitting this.).

In this life, we all want to be seen. We all want to heard. We all want to look great and feel great and have people notice us. We all want to be happy. One thing we all seem to forget is that we are in charge of our own happiness, no one else is. Every day I hear women slamming their husbands/boyfriends/partners, that they aren’t helpful enough, that they aren’t “present” or “involved” enough. I have even heard a woman complain her husband locks the bathroom door, she doesn’t understand why he feels he has to lock the bathroom door when he is taking a shit. Hey lady. Question for ya…you want the door unlocked when you are waxing your upper lip?

Ladies (and gents), if you want help, you must ask for it. If you want something, you must ask for it. There isn’t a stylist on earth that can guess you want to be a redhead, you must tell them. No man on earth is going to see a woman at a washing machine and ask if she needs help sorting the whites and the colors. Nor when he sees a bottle of Comet on the counter will he stop and think “Hey…maybe I should clean the toilet.”. It ain’t gonna happen. He will not notice that you have changed your blonde highlights from light golden brown to medium golden brown…ease up.  If at any time you have frowned at flowers or a gift, you have now solidified in his mind to never do that again. No offense to my lovely gents but you are simple creatures. Admit it, you know damn well that if you brought a woman carnations and she pouted at them, in your mental safety checklist that insures you will still get laid you put a check beside “carnations bad – never buy again”. Not to let anyone down and for future reference, here is a little list for you to refer to.

– when you want your cut a certain way, bring in a picture and ask the stylist if they can help you achieve the desired look. Do not hold the picture behind your back and offer a greater tip if they can guess what hairstyle you are holding in your hand.

– when you want to change your hair color, bring in a picture, preferably not black and white. (yep…it’s happened)

– when you are looking for a hairspray, know the hold factor you want. Do not say “any hold is fine” and then complain that the firm hold is too firm and all you wanted was a soft hold to get rid of your fly aways. See?! You knew what you wanted, you forgot you weren’t speaking with your psychic friend.

– when you want help, ask for it. Do not pout, bat your eyelashes or squeeze your cleavage together hoping he will catch on that you need help folding the laundry…all he is thinking is he’s about to get something…and it ain’t towels.

– if you are unhappy, it is not anyone else’s fault. It’s not. Sure people are asses and say and do terrible things. In the end we decide how much of a grasp we will allow said actions have a hold on our daily life and our happiness.

– if you have never told someone that what they are doing upsets you, shut up and stop whining. Yeah, I said it. We teach people how to treat us. Don’t like the treatment you receive? Change your lesson.

If you want love, you must give love. If you want kindness, you must give kindness. If you want respect, you must give respect. If you want help, you must ask for it. If you want carnations…do not pout when they are given.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Painting a masterpiece

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I have to do something I do not like to do. I have to sound like a mother. Yes, I know I am a mother, that doesn’t mean I like to sound like one. Today’s tale is more of a lesson, maybe a lesson you learned but have forgotten…I can only hope. Today’s lesson is this…when someone is speaking to you, listen to them. Shut your mouth and open your ears. You will get your turn to talk and believe it or not, what the other person is saying is just as important as all the little words aching to escape from your mouth.

Every day, and yes, I mean EVERYDAY, someone asks me a question about hair products and before I can finish a response, I am spoken over or get the all time no eye contact crossed arm toe tappin’ favorite “mm hmm” or “uh huh”. First of all, don’t do that, you look like an ass – may I remind you – you asked me a question. If you didn’t want me to speak to you maybe you shouldn’t have asked me a question. Second, just because some chick on YouTube said it was the “best product EVER!” doesn’t mean it is the best product EVER! for your hair. Third, do not select the words you like best that I have said and make up a whole new sentence – the telephone game has had it’s day and that day was in the third grade…last week if you are one of the ponytail yoga pant wearing women who’s turf is the school parking lot/drop off zone.

I understand that there is a lack of customer service out there and that we have all been led down the garden path a time or two, myself included…making your own candy molds kit – enough said. You need to remember something. There are those of us in the beauty biz that are professionals, that educate themselves on a daily basis, that have a passion for what we do, that will tell you the truth about products – not our truth – the truth – the facts that we have learned from our product knowledge classes and the answers we have been given. I can only speak for myself – by the end of every product knowledge class I have attended, the educator is exhausted by my questions. I ask what I know my customers/clients will want to know. If I am asking you to spend $15.00 on hairspray, I know that I better damn well know why. Trust me, I am far from perfect and make mistakes all the time. I also own up to my mistakes, say “I don’t know” when I don’t know and then find out as soon as I can. So, me being me, here is a little list for you. It can be used at your next Salon visit, dentist visit, even with your next coffee date with your bff.

– If you don’t want someone to speak to you, it is a good idea not to strike up a conversation. This tends to make the other person think you want to have a conversation.

– After you have asked someone a question, let them finish their answer – until their mouth stops moving yours should not.

– A conversation is not a game of beat the clock. If you can get your next question out before the other person has finished their answer, there isn’t a prize waiting for you behind door #1.

– If you don’t understand what the other person is talking about, tell them, nicely. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow what you are saying” is always better than “what the hell are you talking about asshole”.

– If you don’t know the answer, say you don’t know. Never pretend you know something you don’t. You will be found out and any respect you may have had will disappear.

– Listen. I don’t mean acknowledge that the other person is speaking. I mean listen to them. Don’t just nod your head silently repeating to yourself the next sentence you are going to say. Hey – you want attention. So do they.

– When someone tells you an answer other than the one you have, don’t assume they are lying. Maybe they have the proper facts and you do not – remember – just because someone is a Doctor doesn’t mean they graduated top of the class.

– As Muhammad Ali said “If you can back it up it ain’t braggin'”. If you can’t back it up – stop braggin’ and check your facts.

So there you have it. Listen. Pay attention. Be patient. Do not assume you know best and everyone else doesn’t know what they are talking about. It is best not to paint everyone with the same brush, if you aren’t careful, you will become a part of your own masterpiece.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Mum’s the word

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So here we are, on the eve of Christmas eve. As I sit here, I am seeing the twinkle of the lights on the Christmas tree, listening to my girl Adele and smelling the yummy dinner my lovely hubby is preparing for me and our girl who makes us three. Yesterday was Saturday, the last Saturday before Christmas and tomorrow is Christmas eve and I was and will be at the shop. Today was truly a day of rest for me. I know…you are thinking “yeah…so what…get on with it.”. Keep your hair on, I’m getting to the tale of the day.

I came to realize something today. You all have heard of my dear ‘ol Dad and my beloved grandmother Leah. I realized today, as she was picking up my girl to take her Christmas shopping for a gift for me, I have yet to tell you of my mother. When I think of my mother, I remember the smell of her perfume as she and my dad were heading out for a night on the town. I remember her heels all lined up in the closet and aching to wear them. (As I have stated before, our clan is vertically challenged, heels are a must…it’s the only way we can reach the first shelf).I remember her putting my hair in rollers and when I looked in the full length closet mirror door after she had taken the rollers out, I thought I looked like Farrah Fawcett and felt pretty.  I also remember her kindness, towards me and my kin and also to others. We moved around a lot when I was younger and I was always the new kid, and let me tell you how much fun that was. Looking back I now realize how much my mother tried to make it easier for me. An extra cookie made it’s way into my lunch when I was the new kid in class, so I could offer it to a potential new friend. She would buy me something from the trendiest store so when I walked into the new school I wouldn’t stand out as much – didn’t last long though…once I opened my mouth, I stood out…that and my larger than life earrings and my “True Blue Madonna” coiffure.

As you know, my Dad was in the hospital. While visiting one evening, I was fortunate to witness another kindness bestowed on another by my mother. An elderly gentleman was one of my Dad’s roomies and he had a friend visiting. He was not able to walk or get up on his own so he had to use a bedpan. My mother had noticed that he and his friend had been holding hands earlier, so she went to the bathroom, got a washcloth with some soap and a towel and gave it to the gentleman so he could wash and dry his hands, so he and his friend could once again hold hands.

As you know, I believe beauty comes in many forms. It can come in the form of foundation and eyeliner, mousse and hairspray, paintings and verse. It also comes in the form of kindness, of consideration, of paying attention to the needs of others. My mother has taught me many things, from how to measure a level teaspoon to threading a sewing machine, how to blot my lipstick and how to draw in three dimensions. She has also taught me to pay attention, be kind, make memories not regrets. Thanks for the memories Mum.

Beauty, health and wellness, Uncategorized, writing

That will leave a mark

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Today’s tale will be short but sweet…like me. It has been over a week since my last tale and I do apologize for that. Life kind of got in the way this week and tonight I was reminded of something by none other than my dear ol’ Dad. I was reminded that I should be proud of my accomplishments as he is proud of them. The “life ” that got in the way this week was my Dad has been in the hospital. It doesn’t matter why, all that matters is that he is on the mend. While visiting him this evening he was telling me how he was telling his roomies about my blog and twittering and how much I had accomplished in so little time, which in turn got one of the gentlemen to decide to take his business into the social media world.

Everything we do or say, negative or positive makes an impact, it leaves a mark. My father always makes everyone he speaks with the center of attention, helps them see things in a different light, helps them to see something from a different angle, helps them to change a negative to a positive. He makes an impact. He leaves a mark. Tomorrow, when you greet your family as they wake, when you order your coffee, when you are buying your hairspray or getting your hair done, think about your impact and the mark you want to leave.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

You will find it if you know where to look.

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I know. I know. You began reading this blog because you wanted beauty tips, you wanted gossip, and you were praying for a magic wand to give you the exact potion to give you the hair of your favorite celebrity (they are extensions by the way. Unless your favorite celebrity is The Rock or Mr. Clean- trust me – they are extensions). I know the last few tales have been more about inner beauty, kindness and life in general but your wait is over. Today’s Salon tale is about product. Yes, it’s true. You can get back on your chair now.

My main goal everyday at the shop is to educate our customers/clients. If I don’t know something, I make damn sure I find out. When I find out useful tidbits of information, I pass them along. That is what I am doing today. As you know, companies are known to change, rename or discontinue products without any notice to the consumer. You know the feeling, much the same as when the guy who just professed his love trying to steal third didn’t call you or even give you a second glance. Well, ladies and gents, not all companies are like Larry the Lounge Lizard – some companies want to give us a heads up and even give us the new name or new replacement of our favorite products. Joico is one of those companies.

A few years ago, Joico renamed a few of their products. This past week I had an elderly lady looking for the shampoo that her husband loved. Everyone told her it was discontinued, it wasn’t made anymore. I was her “last kick at the can” as she put it. So I asked her what was the product and she told me “Joico Bojoba Shampoo”. I walked over to my Joico shelf,  grabbed her a bottle of the Daily Care Treatment Shampoo and told her “Here it is! Same product, same smell, new name.”. Well, wasn’t I her favorite person of the day, she actually giggled and couldn’t wait to get home and give it to her hubby. (the shampoo people…behave yourselves).

Being me, and not to let any of you down, I have compiled a list of the renamed Joico products. They are still the same products, they just have a new name.

– IceWhip is now JoiWhip

– IceMist is now JoiFix Firm

– IceLotion is now JoiLotion

– IceGel is now JoiGel Firm

– Altima Conditioner is now Daily Care Conditioner

– Kerapro Shampoo is now Daily Care Conditioning Shampoo

– Bojoba Shampoo is now Daily Care Treatment Shampoo

– Lite Conditioner is now Daily Care Balancing Conditioner

– Triage Shampoo is now Daily Care Balancing Shampoo

– Integrity is now Daily Care LeaveIn Detangler

So there you have it. As for all the stylists, salon owners and managers out there, hell sales people in general – there is this thing called a computer and it has the capability to look something up for you in about 30 seconds. When a customer or client asks about a product and you don’t know the answer – do not say “Oh…that’s discontinued” or “I don’t know what you are talking about”. In the immortal words of my father “LOOK IT UP!”.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Receding hairlines and muffin tops

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I hear the familiar chirp of the shop’s door chime. I look up to see a couple. I can tell from the look on the woman’s face she is on a mission, the gentleman looks like a little boy who just received the scolding of his life. Before I have a chance to say hello, the lovely lady sighs and says as she points at his head “Can you help this?!”. In all honesty, the first thought that sprang into my head was “No, but they will perform an exorcism to remove the demon that resides in you at the church down the street”. What I did say was “Help with what exactly? I think his hair cut looks great.”. He smiled. She scowled. “I was talking about his hair line! Look at it!”. I didn’t look at his hair line. I looked at him, right in the eye and asked him “Do you like your hairstyle? Is there a product that you are looking for?”. Again, he smiled, she scowled. I swear she added a “hhmmpptt” with the scowl. I found out he was looking for something that gave hold without a lot of shine and didn’t want anything too sticky. He liked to brush his hair forward a little to cover up his receding hair line. So I showed him the American Crew Fibre – a medium hold cream that adds texture and hold with minimal shine. I also showed him the KMS Molding Paste – great texture and hold with low shine.

Ladies, I have said it before and will say it again…if you want equality, it goes both ways. If your gent pointed at your ass and said “you gotta do something about that!” you know that he would be pushing up daisies. If your gent took you into a store and pointed at your muffin top stating “Can you do anything about this?!?” he would be walking home to nothing waiting for him on the dinner table. So why do women think it is okay to do this to men? I think it is cruel. In all honesty, it is kind of disgusting actually. It takes a lot, I mean A LOT for a man to open up about his insecurities. Throwing them in his face, especially in public is, quite frankly, being a bully.

NEWS FLASH! Men want to look good for themselves. Sure, they want to look good so people will notice them. We all want that. Yeah – I mean you too – you aren’t wearing red 6 inch heels just so you reach the soup can on the top shelf for the little old lady at the grocery store – the jig is up. Men want to have good hair days too. Men hate when their hair is frizzy. Men give up on their new style and just chop it off – just like women have. If you ask  me, it takes guts for a man to walk into a Salon and ask for help. He is risking all kinds of ridicule, be it from coworkers, friends, or unfortunately in some circumstances, the Salon employees. Oh, and a heads up to Salon owners and managers out there – There is a HUGE market that wants  to spend their money that you are neglecting – MEN.

Grow up a little, stop giggling at a man when he asks what the difference is between hairspray and setting spray, or gel and pomade.Yeah, I said it. Ladies – come on – you know how insulting it is, the way we are talked to when we go to get our car repaired. If you giggle at a man when he asks about hair product or you point out his receding hair line, you are doing the same thing that you hate being done to you.

Everyone deserves to like what they see in the mirror, men, women, gay or straight. No one deserves to have their insecurities belted out in a Salon. My goal is to make every customer and client feel beautiful and leave with a spring in their step. At our shop/salon we aim to bring out the beauty that is already there. As for the ugly remarks and attitudes…you can leave those at the door.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Did you hear?

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A dear friend of mine was the truest definition of kindness, beauty and being a woman today. I watched her reach out to another with kindness and sympathy. She shared another’s tears and helped them laugh through their tears. As Dolly Parton as Miss Truvy in Steel Magnolias said “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.”. It was beautiful. It was not a planned visit, nor a planned conversation. Just one woman seeing another woman’s pain and helping her. She shared her story, she “spoke her truth”.

This is something that is so simple to do, but few do it. To be honest and open with another person – it is so simple. We all have secrets and mistakes that we aren’t the most proud of. We all have stories that “you don’t talk about at parties.”. At some point or another in our lives, we have felt like the odd man out or a little crazy.  I have said it before and will continue to say it – we all want to be seen and heard, everyone’s time is as important as everyone else’s. Everyday, at least once a day I have a customer that looks distraught or lost or both. Sometimes it is because they don’t know which hairspray to choose, sometimes it is because they just found out their husband is having an affair (yep…it happened), sometimes it is because they are losing a loved one to cancer. I always ask them the same question, “Are you alright honey?”. I ask because I know that we all want to be seen. I ask because I know how much it meant to me when a stranger took a moment to offer me a kind word when I was feeling pretty low.

It’s time to be nice again. It’s time to be kind. If your friend is excited to dye her hair fire engine red – be happy for her. If your son wants blonde highlights- tell him that would look great – do not tell him he is gay (yep…parents still say that crap). If your husband is insecure about his receding hair line, buy him some Nioxin – do not laugh and tell him to buy more hats. When you ask someone “How are you?” mean it. Take a moment and listen to them. If you take the time to listen, you never know what you may hear.

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

You know you like it

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Every day, at least once a day, a woman comes into the shop looking for something new. I see her come in the door, We exchange our “hello’s”, she heads over to her “go to” product, picks it up, puts it back on the shelf. She picks it up again and puts it back down. She starts to walk around the store, looking at all the shelves of product. I ask if I can help her. She tells me no. She ends up back at the shelf she started at, and sighs. I walk over and ask “Are you sure I can’t help you?”. She turns to me, sighs again and says “I guess you can. I mean maybe, I really don’t know.”. So I ask her why she picked up the first product then kept putting it down. (lets say it was Joico JoiWhip for educational purposes.). The response is always the same “I was told I needed to change my products.”. So I ask her, “Do you like JoiWhip? Are you happy with the hold and volume it offers?”. This response is always the same also, “Yes, I love it!”. I reassure her that if she has found a product that works for her and she likes it, she doesn’t have to change it. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” is what I end up saying and usually I get a laugh. I was once corrected on my grammar but at least it wasn’t accompanied with a flying flat iron.

Ladies and Gents, when it comes to your hair products, if you like the products you are using, keep on using them. You don’t need to change because someone said so…that being said – I do highly recommend to stop using drug store product and invest in professional salon products. You know your hair, you know what it will do and what it won’t. You know how much or how little time you want to spend on your hair. You know the scents you like and the hold you want. The same goes for your life. If you like what you are doing, keep doing it. If you like to bang your head to Iron Maiden…bang away. If you like to skip down the lane…skip away. You know yourself and what you like. Trust yourself. I have said on many occasions that I believe a little fairy dust goes a long way. I am forty years old and I am sure many people I meet may think I am a little “off” because I say hello to caterpillars – you never know – the one you don’t say hello to may be the one caterpillar that is capable of speech.

If you like your JoiWhip or your Moroccanoil or your BigSexy Spray and Play – keep using it. If you like to sing along to Weird Al while you drive around town – be like a surgeon and tell ’em to eat it. Be yourself and trust yourself – there is nothing more beautiful.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Stuart Smalley may have been on to something…

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I am sure after reading some of my blogs some of you are thinking “what’s up with that girl in the red coat? I thought this was supposed to be a blog about  beauty and salon tales.”. We my lovelies, it is. As I have stated before, there is more to beauty than flat irons and hairsprays…although they can be quite helpful. Everyday I see all sides of beauty, from a woman walking in with a bad hair cut which one of our talented stylists transforms into a great cut, to a woman stepping over our threshold in search of herself…someone she lost somewhere along the way and together we find her. I am also a witness to some of the greatest stories and achievements. I love hearing great news or exciting happenings in the lives of our customers and clients and in some circumstances, it seems I am the only one.

You see, as I learned the hard way, not everyone is happy for you when something good happens to you. I know how down right devastating it is to open up to someone and share something that is so exciting for you just to have them either put you down, laugh at you or (the worst of all) not respond at all. So I make it a point to be excited for any news – be it that you found $20.00 on your way in to my shop, that you lost 5 pounds or that you are going after your dream – even if that dream is clown college.

We all love attention. We all want recognition. We all deserve these things and we can have them. You wanna know how? Give them to yourself. If you wait for everyone to tell you how awesome you are or how terrific your new cut looks or how great you look in your new size 6’s…you are gonna be waiting a long time. Be happy with yourself, get excited for yourself, hell, throw a party for yourself. Not to get all Stuart Smalley “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonnit, people like me.” but seriously, once you celebrate yourself, people will be drawn into your life that want to raise you up and keep you there and those who didn’t care to notice you will fade into the shadows.

When someone shares their story, listen to them. When someone is excited, be excited for them. When someone is happy, be happy for them. Plain and simple.

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

The Replacements

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***Original post from September 2012 – Updated for your viewing and hair pleasure August 2016!

 

We have all been there. We have all been her. We have all been the consumer who waltzes into the Salon and heads over to our favorite shelf that holds our most precious product only to drop slowly to our knees while we wail “…They…discontinued…my…hairspray!!!”. For a moment, the Salon falls silent, not in shock but in respect of the loss.

Unfortunately most companies decide to revamp their lines and their products and don’t let the Salon owners, stylists or the public at large know that they are doing so and leave us all hanging, wondering “Does it still exist? Is it in a different bottle? Does it have another name?”.  KMS California is not such a company. In the last year they revamped their line and discontinued some products – put down the torches and pitchforks people, take a breath. KMS California thought of those of us who do not wear waterproof mascara and gave a detailed description of what products are no longer with us and which products would be a suitable replacement. So, since I have it, I thought you would like it too and being me, I have compiled a list for you.

That Girl in the Red Coat KMS

 

– If you were using Hairstay Sculpting lotion – try Curl Up perfecting lotion

– If you were using Hairstay Quick finishspray – try Hair Stay medium hold or Hair Stay maximum hold spray

– If you were using Hairplay Soft wax or Hairplay Hard wax – try Hair Play Design wax

– If you were using Hairplay Texture blast – try Add Volume Root and body lift

– If you were using Silksheen Shaping creme – try Tame Frizz smoothing lotion or taming creme

– If you were using SilkSheen Silk treatment – try Moist Repair Therapy treatment

– If you were using Silksheen Therapy plus – try Tame Frizz de-frizz oil

– If you were using Silksheen Gloss Spray – try Hairstay Anti-Humidity seal **AWESOME

– If you were using AddVolume Gel conditioner – try Add Volume Body build detangler

– If you were using AddVolume Blow dry lotion – try Add Volume volumizing spray or Hair Play messing creme

The complete FlatOut line was discontinued and replaced with the FreeShape line – it does everything the FlatOut line did and more! Here are the big movers from FreeShape at our shop.

FlatOutHot pressed spray – now FreeShape Hot flex spray

FlatOut Anti-Humidity seal – now FreeShape Anti-Humidity seal

FlatOut Straightening creme – now FreeShape Hot flex creme

Some products have not changed….the bottle is just another color and their name has changed…

So there you are. You can wipe away the tears. You can calm down. KMS California has thought of you, the Salon owner, the stylist, the consumer.

 

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