Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Would you be your valentine?

It’s February 11th. T minus 3 days until the big day…Valentine’s day. On the radio, at the shop, in the express check out line at the grocery store I hear the same things “He better not forget my favorite chocolate!”, “I better be getting the biggest bottle of Moroccanoil money can buy!”, “If he knows what is good for him I will get a spa package for Valentine’s day!”. Besides getting to be a witness to this ugliness I also got to see a sad, sorry sight…a terrified grown man holding two stuffed bears…most likely terrified because he knew if he didn’t come home with the right gift on Valentine’s day, it may very well be his last Valentine’s day. Quite honestly, if that is how the relationship works, his better half is lucky he is coming home at all. Yeah, I said it.

As you know, from time to time I tell a tale not of Salon ideals or product knowledge but of what goes through my mind, my opinions, take ’em or leave ’em. Today is such a day with such a tale. So many people wait for February 14th. to shower their loved ones with gifts, compliments and love instead of doing it everyday. We put way too much pressure on ourselves and our relationship’s because of a date on the calender.

Here’s an idea…how about we try to have a little Valentine’s everyday. Oh calm down ladies. I am not saying you need to be in a teddy and 6 inch stiletto’s waiting at the door with a martini, but a compliment or a thank you for taking out the trash might be nice…not just for your better half, but for yourself as well. As for the gents, I am not saying you need to bring home flowers every week, but a kiss hello and goodbye everyday would be lovely, again, not just for your better half, but for yourself as well. If one of you ain’t happy…nobody’s happy.

I have quoted Ms. Angelou before and will continue to say it, you teach people how to treat you. Ladies…if you want your gent to get you your favorite chocolates and a spa day…try not making him recite on a daily basis a list of your favorite chocolates and spa services. How about you try being nice. Remember Nellie Oleson? Yeah…she didn’t get what she wanted until she was…NICE. (you know….Percival came to save the restaurant and….oh, go rent the DVD.). As for the gents in the house…if you want your wife to spice up the bedroom attire…telling her that the bra and pantie set you bought her looked great on “Destiny” at the “club” probably isn’t the best compliment. I know you think it is. Trust me…it’s not.

Hug one another every day. Kiss each other hello and goodbye every day. Say “I love you” when you leave the house for the day or before you put your head down each night. Compliment each other. If you criticize, try your best to be kind.- Ladies…if it is that time of the month…wait a day or two to criticize – yeah, I said it. You are not in the right frame of mind and you know it and honestly it just frightens our poor gents. *side note to the gents – if you know what is good for you – you will NEVER mention the above out loud.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Whatever floats your boat

Something has been playing on my mind as of late, and being me I gotta talk about it, I gotta. Working at a Salon, I hear lots of tales, of happiness, of despair, of births and deaths and everything in between. The tales that I find the most upsetting are those of shame. Grown women being ashamed of their bodies, their body image or lack there of and of their sex life. Unless you were in a convent or in a coma, I am sure you have heard of or read 50 shades of grey.  I know that most of our clientele has read it or heard about it. I read the trilogy.Twice. Yeah…I said it. Some of the women spoke openly about it and we shared some cackles and blushes. Some of the women whispered about it, afraid that if they spoke openly and loudly about their book club choice that they would be judged. Some women hid the fact they were reading it because they didn’t want their husbands or best friends judging them, they didn’t want people thinking they were a slut. One woman I know was ashamed that she liked what she read and this is why I am writing this today.

When we are young, we are always being told to be a “good girl” and “nice girls” don’t behave like that – be it wearing too much lipstick, a low cut blouse, teasing our hair, kicking boys in the shin or kissing them in the back seat. What I have come to realize is this. Grown  women forget that they are grown women now, not little girls under the ever watchful judgmental eye of society. If what you wear or how you choose to live your life makes you happy and is YOUR CHOICE, there is no shame to be had.

Forgive me ladies for what I am about to say. We prejudge our husbands/partners and don’t give them the benefit of the doubt. Yeah…I said it. You know it’s true. We are all guilty of it. So many women I know that read 50 shades said “there is no way I am telling my husband I liked that book! He’ll think I am  a freak!” to which I always answered “He probably will and he will be over the moon!”. Some ladies laughed, others just stared and I could see their wheels of judgement begin to turn, to which I began to sing to myself…Big wheel keep on turnin’, Proud Mary keep on burnin’.

Too many women let the opinions (or what they think are the opinions) of the general public decide their fate. Some things you must realize. There will always be someone who will point a finger in judgement. You know the people I am talking about, the ones who would have judged Christ himself “How could the son of GOD make water into wine?!?!”. Get used to it and try your best not to let it get to you. If you want to wear thigh high boots and mini skirts because it makes you feel beautiful, do it. If having platinum blonde hair extensions makes you feel sexy and attractive, wear them. If you like how your eyes look while wearing false eyelashes, apply them and bat away. If you like to read erotica and it helps you and your better half have a more intimate relationship in and out of the bedroom, read away. If judging others floats your boat, row away. Far, far away.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Who knew Qtips could do so much?

“If you talked to your friends the way you talk to your body, you’d have no friends left” – Marcia Hutchinson. I came across this quote a few months ago, and over the past few days it keeps popping up around me, be it on Facebook, Pinterest or over hearing conversations in the Salon. Funny tale to tell today…well, funny in a “okay, I get it” kind of way.

Confession. I haven’t always been this confident woman you read before you. I was that girl, the one who acted confident but went home everyday thinking she was fat, stupid, dumb, ugly…take your pick of any negative description of a person and that was what I thought I was. Over the past few weeks, I have heard the same phrases coming out of the mouths of the women coming into the shop, and I have let it get to me. You know what they say…what you surround yourself with you become. I started to bring it home with me, which is never a good thing, nothing worse than letting someone get in your head and reside there rent free. The constant negativity compounded with a few personal exclusions over the past few days were the perfect ingredients for a recipe for emotional disaster. Yes, I am 40 but it stills stings me a bit when I am excluded…I’m working on it.

Last night, as I was sitting and pouting, on my twitter feed I came across the above quote and literally right after came across this little gem from @simonsinek “If you want to achieve anything in this world, you have to get used to the idea that not everyone will like you”. (told you this was an “okay I get it” kind of tale). He is right. I know that. I blog about it all the time. I had forgotten. I had let myself wander off my path because it was getting lonely at times. Funny thing is, when you stop being true to yourself, you become more miserable and lonely than you thought you were to begin with.

This morning, I was still a little glum, couldn’t seem to shake my melancholy, then I went into the bathroom and saw that my hubby had refilled the Qtip jar and everything fell into place. Yep, I am that easy to please. In that instant I realized that all the negative thoughts floating around in my head were not mine, they belonged to the woman who yelled at me because the hairspray I had introduced her to that she loves is on back order…until Monday, and to the woman who didn’t understand why exchanging her flat iron was so easy to do and disappointed that the process didn’t take 20 minutes like she had planned it would. (seriously folks…I WISH I was making this up). All the anger I had towards my family was not my own, it belonged to the woman who’s husband had found a new love and to the gentleman who was angry at his wife because he had to pick up her hair color and she “never” does anything herself. I do like my hair, and I do think I look good and am proud of it. I don’t down play myself because I am now 40 and as the lovely woman in jogging pants and rubber boots so lovingly pointed out “putting on jewelry and doing your hair when you are over 35 is stupid”.( I got to meet this gem in the 1-8 item line at the grocery store…she had 9 items by the way).

It is so important to be kind, not just to others, but to ourselves. We teach people how to treat us (thank you Maya Angelou) and, although I hate to admit my faults, over the past few days I have been responsible for the negativity coming my way. I was letting it get to me and become the lesson I was teaching to all who crossed my path. With a little help from my Twitter feed and  a jar of Qtips, I have a new lesson plan.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Place your bets

So here we are. It is the beginning of yet another year and with it’s commencement comes the resolutions. Working at a Salon I am privy to many such resolutions, from “I’m gonna finally leave his sorry ass!” to the old stand by “This is the year I am going to the gym EVERY day!”. Myself, I no longer make resolutions. I gave up losing my money at that carnival game years ago. Too much pressure and quiet honestly, who needs the stress? Between working full time, being a wife and mother, bff, blogger and all around awesome gal (if I do say so myself…you should know by now, I am quite good at tooting my own horn), if I am going to stress over something it’s gonna be about the health and well being of a loved one, not if I am keeping my resolution to only have 1 coffee a day.

Over the past few days I have heard the resolutions of many of our clients and customers. One thing they all had in common was this, they all said they “had to.”. Had to?!?! When you were 10 you “had to”. If you are over the age of 18 and no longer living under your parents roof, resolutions, choices -take your pick, should be “want to”. By the way if you are over the age of 25 and still living with mommy and daddy, I think they have a resolution in mind for you. Where was I? Oh yes, ladies and gents, if you must make a resolution this year, how about you try to live a “want to” life instead of a “have to” life. This is not a new idea, I know. I was reminded of this back in the fall of 2012. I was fortunate enough to win a ticket to hear a great speaker, Mark Gaylard (Google him). Long story short -the message of the evening was do you want a “have to” or “want to” life, and baby, I want a “want to” life. Now to today’s tale.

I hear the familiar chirp of the shop’s door chime and look up to see a mother and daughter duo. I say hello and ask if I can help them find what they are looking for. The mom blurts out as she points to her daughter “Help her. I am beyond help.”. Oh, how I love a challenge. “Why do you say that?” I ask. She  then begins to tell me “I am no longer in my 20’s and I have to get used to it. Even my husband says so.”. So I asked her if she wanted to get used to it. The woman just looked at me and her daughter’s jaw dropped. I explained I meant no offense, I wanted to be sure she was okay with getting used to it, because I thought she had great hair. “You like my hair?” she said. I said that I did and that I could help her make it look even better if she wanted my help. I ended up giving her and her daughter some samples and the Salon’s price list. As she was leaving she said she would be calling for an appointment because she wanted one, then winked at me.

It is a new year and with it new possibilities lurk around every corner. This can be the year you quit smoking, muster up the courage to ask for help and go to rehab, let go of your fear of being attractive and go and try a new hair color and style, lose that weight that you have carried around long enough – pounds or people. Go and have a “want to” life. You are a safe bet and worth the wager.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Mum’s the word

So here we are, on the eve of Christmas eve. As I sit here, I am seeing the twinkle of the lights on the Christmas tree, listening to my girl Adele and smelling the yummy dinner my lovely hubby is preparing for me and our girl who makes us three. Yesterday was Saturday, the last Saturday before Christmas and tomorrow is Christmas eve and I was and will be at the shop. Today was truly a day of rest for me. I know…you are thinking “yeah…so what…get on with it.”. Keep your hair on, I’m getting to the tale of the day.

I came to realize something today. You all have heard of my dear ‘ol Dad and my beloved grandmother Leah. I realized today, as she was picking up my girl to take her Christmas shopping for a gift for me, I have yet to tell you of my mother. When I think of my mother, I remember the smell of her perfume as she and my dad were heading out for a night on the town. I remember her heels all lined up in the closet and aching to wear them. (As I have stated before, our clan is vertically challenged, heels are a must…it’s the only way we can reach the first shelf).I remember her putting my hair in rollers and when I looked in the full length closet mirror door after she had taken the rollers out, I thought I looked like Farrah Fawcett and felt pretty.  I also remember her kindness, towards me and my kin and also to others. We moved around a lot when I was younger and I was always the new kid, and let me tell you how much fun that was. Looking back I now realize how much my mother tried to make it easier for me. An extra cookie made it’s way into my lunch when I was the new kid in class, so I could offer it to a potential new friend. She would buy me something from the trendiest store so when I walked into the new school I wouldn’t stand out as much – didn’t last long though…once I opened my mouth, I stood out…that and my larger than life earrings and my “True Blue Madonna” coiffure.

As you know, my Dad was in the hospital. While visiting one evening, I was fortunate to witness another kindness bestowed on another by my mother. An elderly gentleman was one of my Dad’s roomies and he had a friend visiting. He was not able to walk or get up on his own so he had to use a bedpan. My mother had noticed that he and his friend had been holding hands earlier, so she went to the bathroom, got a washcloth with some soap and a towel and gave it to the gentleman so he could wash and dry his hands, so he and his friend could once again hold hands.

As you know, I believe beauty comes in many forms. It can come in the form of foundation and eyeliner, mousse and hairspray, paintings and verse. It also comes in the form of kindness, of consideration, of paying attention to the needs of others. My mother has taught me many things, from how to measure a level teaspoon to threading a sewing machine, how to blot my lipstick and how to draw in three dimensions. She has also taught me to pay attention, be kind, make memories not regrets. Thanks for the memories Mum.

Beauty, communication, Fashion, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

True Colors

As it seems to happen, the tale I was going to tell you has changed. I was going to share a tale of product knowledge today but it seems that tale will have to wait for another day. As I was eating my Honey Nut Cheerio’s and warming up the ol’ laptop I turned on the T.V. and heard a familiar tune from my youth. The tune was “True Colors” by Cyndi Lauper but it was not my beloved Ms. Lauper singing. It was Artists Against Bullying – A beautifully selected group of Canadian artists singing an anthem from my youth. While watching the video as they displayed lyrics, thoughts and truths on white sheets of paper ( an homage to Bob Dylan) I found myself catapulted back to 1986 for the briefest of moments and remembering how I would play and rewind that song on my cassette player over and over. No matter what the year, decade or century…we all have either been bullied or felt like we would never fit in.

I know, I can hear you all now, “What does this have to do with beauty?”. The answer is EVERYTHING. When I was 14 I cut off all my hair. I loved it. It was funky. It was fun and it showed off my collection of earrings – from gold hoops to huge plastic numbers…hey, it was the 80’s. The first day I showed up at school with my new do I was welcomed with “wow…you look like a boy!”, “Why did you do that? Guys like long hair.” and my all time favorite “oh…So you are into chicks.”…and no one did anything. No one said anything to defend me. I couldn’t eat my lunch that day because I was using every ounce of my energy to keep my chin up and the tears in. (It was a good lunch, my mom had given me a chocolate bar.).  I didn’t take the bus home that day. I was terrified of what I would hear. I walked home by myself, feeling stupid, ugly and fat – because for some unknown reason all 14 year old girls add “fat” to there list of woes on a bad day. When I reached home I went to my room and sat on the floor wondering how much wigs cost and where to buy one. I started going through my tapes and records (to this day music is what eases my mind and my soul) and came across Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors. I didn’t listen to it right away. I just sat there staring at her. Her hair, her make up, her clothes. Then I grabbed her “She’s so unusual” album and stared at her some more. I sat there listening to her songs and staring at her hair and slowly felt a wee bit better. If she was okay being unusual, then I could be okay being unusual too.

The point to today’s tale is this. You can be yourself. People may not like it – let that be their problem. I have found that those who don’t support me are those who wish they could do their own thing but are too scared to even fathom the idea. For the parents out there – be kind to your children. Let them try new things with their hair and if they are made fun of because of their new mohawk, do not say “I told you so”. Tell them they look great and hug them. Ladies – when your gent is losing his hair…stop reminding him. Gents – when your lady tries a new cut and color…tell her she is beautiful. Everyone – when you see someone being mistreated, stand up for them.

“Never, never be afraid to do what is right, especially if the well-being of a person or an animal is at stake. Society’s punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Receding hairlines and muffin tops

I hear the familiar chirp of the shop’s door chime. I look up to see a couple. I can tell from the look on the woman’s face she is on a mission, the gentleman looks like a little boy who just received the scolding of his life. Before I have a chance to say hello, the lovely lady sighs and says as she points at his head “Can you help this?!”. In all honesty, the first thought that sprang into my head was “No, but they will perform an exorcism to remove the demon that resides in you at the church down the street”. What I did say was “Help with what exactly? I think his hair cut looks great.”. He smiled. She scowled. “I was talking about his hair line! Look at it!”. I didn’t look at his hair line. I looked at him, right in the eye and asked him “Do you like your hairstyle? Is there a product that you are looking for?”. Again, he smiled, she scowled. I swear she added a “hhmmpptt” with the scowl. I found out he was looking for something that gave hold without a lot of shine and didn’t want anything too sticky. He liked to brush his hair forward a little to cover up his receding hair line. So I showed him the American Crew Fibre – a medium hold cream that adds texture and hold with minimal shine. I also showed him the KMS Molding Paste – great texture and hold with low shine.

Ladies, I have said it before and will say it again…if you want equality, it goes both ways. If your gent pointed at your ass and said “you gotta do something about that!” you know that he would be pushing up daisies. If your gent took you into a store and pointed at your muffin top stating “Can you do anything about this?!?” he would be walking home to nothing waiting for him on the dinner table. So why do women think it is okay to do this to men? I think it is cruel. In all honesty, it is kind of disgusting actually. It takes a lot, I mean A LOT for a man to open up about his insecurities. Throwing them in his face, especially in public is, quite frankly, being a bully.

NEWS FLASH! Men want to look good for themselves. Sure, they want to look good so people will notice them. We all want that. Yeah – I mean you too – you aren’t wearing red 6 inch heels just so you reach the soup can on the top shelf for the little old lady at the grocery store – the jig is up. Men want to have good hair days too. Men hate when their hair is frizzy. Men give up on their new style and just chop it off – just like women have. If you ask  me, it takes guts for a man to walk into a Salon and ask for help. He is risking all kinds of ridicule, be it from coworkers, friends, or unfortunately in some circumstances, the Salon employees. Oh, and a heads up to Salon owners and managers out there – There is a HUGE market that wants  to spend their money that you are neglecting – MEN.

Grow up a little, stop giggling at a man when he asks what the difference is between hairspray and setting spray, or gel and pomade.Yeah, I said it. Ladies – come on – you know how insulting it is, the way we are talked to when we go to get our car repaired. If you giggle at a man when he asks about hair product or you point out his receding hair line, you are doing the same thing that you hate being done to you.

Everyone deserves to like what they see in the mirror, men, women, gay or straight. No one deserves to have their insecurities belted out in a Salon. My goal is to make every customer and client feel beautiful and leave with a spring in their step. At our shop/salon we aim to bring out the beauty that is already there. As for the ugly remarks and attitudes…you can leave those at the door.

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

You know you like it

Every day, at least once a day, a woman comes into the shop looking for something new. I see her come in the door, We exchange our “hello’s”, she heads over to her “go to” product, picks it up, puts it back on the shelf. She picks it up again and puts it back down. She starts to walk around the store, looking at all the shelves of product. I ask if I can help her. She tells me no. She ends up back at the shelf she started at, and sighs. I walk over and ask “Are you sure I can’t help you?”. She turns to me, sighs again and says “I guess you can. I mean maybe, I really don’t know.”. So I ask her why she picked up the first product then kept putting it down. (lets say it was Joico JoiWhip for educational purposes.). The response is always the same “I was told I needed to change my products.”. So I ask her, “Do you like JoiWhip? Are you happy with the hold and volume it offers?”. This response is always the same also, “Yes, I love it!”. I reassure her that if she has found a product that works for her and she likes it, she doesn’t have to change it. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” is what I end up saying and usually I get a laugh. I was once corrected on my grammar but at least it wasn’t accompanied with a flying flat iron.

Ladies and Gents, when it comes to your hair products, if you like the products you are using, keep on using them. You don’t need to change because someone said so…that being said – I do highly recommend to stop using drug store product and invest in professional salon products. You know your hair, you know what it will do and what it won’t. You know how much or how little time you want to spend on your hair. You know the scents you like and the hold you want. The same goes for your life. If you like what you are doing, keep doing it. If you like to bang your head to Iron Maiden…bang away. If you like to skip down the lane…skip away. You know yourself and what you like. Trust yourself. I have said on many occasions that I believe a little fairy dust goes a long way. I am forty years old and I am sure many people I meet may think I am a little “off” because I say hello to caterpillars – you never know – the one you don’t say hello to may be the one caterpillar that is capable of speech.

If you like your JoiWhip or your Moroccanoil or your BigSexy Spray and Play – keep using it. If you like to sing along to Weird Al while you drive around town – be like a surgeon and tell ’em to eat it. Be yourself and trust yourself – there is nothing more beautiful.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

What is your lesson for today?

As I was sipping on my morning coffee, scrolling through my Twitter feed to check the goings on of the world according to Twitter, I couldn’t believe all the negativity and insult. Yeah, I am forty years old and I am still amazed on a daily basis how immature and mean and down right stupid some people and their behavior can be.

Not to get all political, but the feeling is there and I gotta say it. “Anti-Bullying” and “Zero Tolerance” – two terms that I personally think hold no water. Why you ask? Look around…the problem is bigger than ever. In my life I have been bullied. In my daughters life, she has been bullied and at one point almost pressured into being a bully herself until she realized what was going on, came home and talked to me about it…that was a fun conversation. Long story short – her conscience kicked in, she owned up to it to me, her mother (the scariest thing for a kid to do) and apologized to her friend.

What I am getting at is this. Everyday, seriously, EVERYDAY I see or hear grown women being a bully, in front of or directed at their kids. Case and point;

– Mother and daughter come into the shop wanting to return a flat iron, with no box and no receipt. I explain that I need the receipt for proof of purchase and the manufacturer’s warranty states that we need the box as well. The mother, in front of her daughter, leans over the counter, yells “what the F*&! is your problem, just take it back!” and then throws it at me.

– Mother and daughter come in the shop and the mother says, out loud, with other customers around “Look at her hair! It is so oily and gross!”. Nice.

– A woman comes into the store, complaining that her “fat, lazy kids can’t even buy their own hairspray.”. Mother of the year right there folks.

– Mother and daughter refer to each other as “stupid” and “idiot”. Guess I should be more up to date on the newest trending names.

– A woman calls me a “stupid liar” when I say I don’t have the product she is looking for. Tells her daughter, in front of me “sales people are assholes”. When she realizes she is in the wrong store, instead of apologizing, she tugs on her child’s arm, and pulls them out of the store yelling “Why didn’t you tell me we were in the wrong store?”. – my guess…they didn’t want to mess with crazy.

My all time favorite is when people use the phone/Facebook/texting or Twitter as their shield of bravery. The way I see it, if you won’t say it to someone’s face – you probably shouldn’t say it at all. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and from what I see and hear there are a lot of ’em out there. Everyone is also entitled not to listen to an opinion. It is time to grow up a little. It is time to be the grown ups, it is time to be the parent to our kids not their friends. We can be their friends when they are 18. How do you expect your kids to be kind and not be a bully when they see you scream at a perfect stranger, or hear you call a salesperson an asshole? How do you expect them to say a kind word when they have never heard one.

Seriously, does it really matter in your daily life if you don’t agree with the new book a celebrity wrote? If it does, you need a new hobby, I hear knitting is fun. If you don’t like someone’s tweets…un-follow them. Don’t like their face on Facebook…unfriend them. If you don’t like it, don’t look.

When a child is born, they don’t know what kindness is, someone has to teach them. A child doesn’t know what a bully is or how to be one. Someone has to teach them. What lesson are you going to teach today?

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women

Stuart Smalley may have been on to something…

I am sure after reading some of my blogs some of you are thinking “what’s up with that girl in the red coat? I thought this was supposed to be a blog about  beauty and salon tales.”. We my lovelies, it is. As I have stated before, there is more to beauty than flat irons and hairsprays…although they can be quite helpful. Everyday I see all sides of beauty, from a woman walking in with a bad hair cut which one of our talented stylists transforms into a great cut, to a woman stepping over our threshold in search of herself…someone she lost somewhere along the way and together we find her. I am also a witness to some of the greatest stories and achievements. I love hearing great news or exciting happenings in the lives of our customers and clients and in some circumstances, it seems I am the only one.

You see, as I learned the hard way, not everyone is happy for you when something good happens to you. I know how down right devastating it is to open up to someone and share something that is so exciting for you just to have them either put you down, laugh at you or (the worst of all) not respond at all. So I make it a point to be excited for any news – be it that you found $20.00 on your way in to my shop, that you lost 5 pounds or that you are going after your dream – even if that dream is clown college.

We all love attention. We all want recognition. We all deserve these things and we can have them. You wanna know how? Give them to yourself. If you wait for everyone to tell you how awesome you are or how terrific your new cut looks or how great you look in your new size 6’s…you are gonna be waiting a long time. Be happy with yourself, get excited for yourself, hell, throw a party for yourself. Not to get all Stuart Smalley “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonnit, people like me.” but seriously, once you celebrate yourself, people will be drawn into your life that want to raise you up and keep you there and those who didn’t care to notice you will fade into the shadows.

When someone shares their story, listen to them. When someone is excited, be excited for them. When someone is happy, be happy for them. Plain and simple.