Beauty, Business, lifestyle, That girl in the red coat, Women

The Heart of the matter

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For those of you who follow my blog, you are well aware that my hubby had a heart attack. The last thing any couple expects, especially at 39. I wanted to revisit my personal tale with you all one more time. We received some terrific news, from three separate M.D.’s, that my beloved is well on his way back to a normal life. The past 9 months have been the greatest of struggles for my beloved, for my family and for me. I won’t get too deep into the details because, not to get all Rhonda Byrne on you, I no longer wish to give the negative any more power.

Over the past months, I have had to cancel plans at the last minute. I have had to say “no” a lot, to a lot of people and occasions and I didn’t always give the real reason, the reason being that my husband didn’t feel well and was in pain. I didn’t always disclose the severity of it all to everyone because it was what was happening to him, I was not going to let it start to define him. There is more to my beloved than his health/heart issues and I was going to do all I could to protect that. I also stayed home because of my lovely daughter. It was bad enough she had to see the initial heart attack. I wasn’t about to leave her home alone with her Dad not feeling well and all that entailed.

The purpose of today’s tale you ask? The point is this – you never know what someone else is going through, so try not to take their actions or their behavior so personally. As I have had to realize in my 41 years, it’s not always about you. A lesson all of us in the beauty biz and retail biz should learn. Sure, there are those who are nasty for the sake of being nasty – those Nellie Oleson’s need our pity, not our anger. I am talking about;

– the woman who comes in looking for Sebastian Shaper Plus and when you tell her it is on order, she looks through you and scowls “what a waste of my time”. Instead of getting upset, I ask her if I can have her number so I can call her when it comes in and I can hold a can for her. In this case, she just looked at me, put her hands down on the counter and said “thank you, that would be so helpful.”. – you see, she was on her way to the funeral home. Her mother had just passed away, and she had buried her brother the month before.

– a woman complaining that all the mousses and root boosts are crap and don’t work in her hair. When I ask her what other products she uses and who colors her hair, I come to find out that she is on chemo and she didn’t like her hair color so she used a box dye and didn’t like that, so used another box dye the next day. I gave her some conditioning treatment samples and explained why it isn’t a good idea to color your hair twice in two days. After 15 minutes, she calmed down and thanked me, and apologized…and purchased some product.

So, the next time someone is being nasty, or plans get cancelled with a reason you feel is an excuse, or your client starts to lose it because her favorite hairspray is on back order, take a minute and try getting down to the heart of the matter. You never know, you may be the only glimpse of kindness that person has seen all day….if they come into the shop with a faulty flat iron in their hand – still be kind. Just be sure to duck.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Fool on the hill

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I woke up this morning with “The Fool on the Hill” by the Beatles in my head – so clearly that I actually checked my clock radio to see if it was on. (Yes, I still have a clock radio. It was my grandfather’s. He got it free with his “Maclean’s” subscription and when I saw it I thought it was pretty cool, so he gave it to me and it has been at my bedside for 25 years). Needless to say, the radio was off. I got up, made some coffee and the song still played in my head.

It got me to thinking about the past few weeks of my life, and the lives of those I love and cherish. You see, for me, most of my life is pretty awesome. I have been a  guest blogger on http://www.salonmagazine.com . I have been invited to blog on another website – which one you ask? Well for that one you are gonna have to wait – it’s a surprise! I have a 16 year old daughter who still wants to be seen in public with me ( A HUGE deal if you ask me.) and I have the love of a great man, who has loved me for over 20 years. My lovely hubby is why I said “most” of my life is pretty awesome. You see, his health has not been the greatest as of late, by no fault of his own. Those familiar with my blog know that my love had a heart attack back in 2011. His heart is well on the mend, alas the medication to keep his heart healthy is not so nice to the rest of his body.The kick in the ass is everyday he feels different, he doesn’t know until he gets out of bed what the day will hold for him. Some of the medication makes his skin super sensitive to touch, some of the medication causes acid reflux and chest pressure – the latter is a another  kick in the ass since chest pressure is how his heart attack felt. – AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL SEGUE! – not all heart attacks present with a pain shooting down your left arm and a red face followed with a collapse to the floor. If you are not feeling well, pain or pressure in your chest area/upper back that won’t subside, pain that goes up your neck into your jaw – go to the hospital. As the Doctor’s say to us – they would rather everyone come and it be nothing then wait too long and nothing can be done. Back to the tale at hand.

So, I looked up the lyrics to the fool on the hill, and as with any piece of music or literature everyone seems to have their own vision of what the song means, myself included. You see, I am an optimist. I can’t help myself. I always seem to find something good in something bad, it’s what I do. Many times because of this I find I am ignored or not listened to, and that is okay. It used to hurt my feelings, now I realize that it is either because I over stepped my bounds (which I know I tend to do) or that the person I am speaking to is not ready to be happy or ready to have hope – I have found that giving over to hope and happiness is one of the scariest things for people to do – it sure as hell was for me. So the lyrics, “but nobody ever hears him, or the sound he appears to make, and he never seems to notice, but the fool on the hill, sees the sun going down. and the eyes in his head, see the world spinning round” comfort me. They do. I saw myself in the lyrics – the woman who always sees the bright side of life and is seen as a fool on the hill.

I also found a new perspective about my hubby. You see, he looks fine but feels like shit most of the time. As with any health issue, when the person looks fine people don’t always believe you when you say you are not well, so you begin to feel like “fool on the hill” and begin to doubt yourself and how you are feeling. Another great compliment is when people doubt that he is taking his medication properly, or accuse him of not taking care of himself properly. This used to make me mad, but after watching a few episodes of Honey Boo Boo and some other so called reality T.V. shows, I now understand why some people are, well, assholes where the health of my beloved is concerned. (if you have seen the above – no explanation needed).

Here’s the deal. In the immortal words of Bob Dylan “don’t criticize what you can’t understand”. Everyone is going through something, or has a loved one on their mind. Sometimes it shows, most often it does not. If you don’t know what to say, say nothing at all. Be careful not to judge too severely, for one day you may be the fool on the hill…and I will be more than happy to sit with you.

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

It’s what’s inside that counts…

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We all know this. Beauty comes from within. I agree, kindness, honesty, empathy – they are all good things and make a person more beautiful than any root lift, mascara or nail polish could. What I am talking about your heart rate, your blood pressure, your cholesterol levels etc… I know, who wants to think about such things when we are dealing with flyaways and frizz. Well my friends, what is happening on the inside could very well be the culprit of your beauty woes, skin and hair alike.

In these days of fads diets and extreme weight loss, what we seem to be losing is perspective. I am all for having the “junk in my trunk” that I had when I was 20, to have my arm stop jiggling after I have finished waving to my friend. We all want to look good, to feel as though we are on the catwalk in Paris or Milan. We all want the only muffin top in our lives to be on our breakfast muffin. Poor health and medications can not only decide what ride you can go on at the fair, it can affect how your hair takes color, retains curl, the porosity of the hair and the weakness or strength of your hair, skin and nails. Is it worth a lifetime of medication so you can fit into those size 2’s? (if you aren’t careful the money you save on food will be going to the hair extensions you may now need – not want).

Now, to keep you all off your soapboxes, I am not saying all “diet’s” are bad. You can shake, rattle and roll for all I care – be sure to educate yourself – and by the way – reading the bottle is not educating yourself. Talk to a doctor, get your base line bloodwork done to be sure it is safe for you, or just to be sure your heart can take it. Trust me, I know of what I speak. Last year two people very close to me suffered heart attacks and we didn’t see it coming – at all.

I am turning 40 this year and yes, things aren’t quite where they used to be – that’s what a great bra is for. Sure, my skin may not have the youthful glow it once had – that’s what lotion and bronzer’s are for. My hair may not have it’s luster except for the gray strands that shine on through – that’s what shine sprays are for. I know for a fact (because I just got back from the M.D.) that my health is intact and all my blood work is normal – so normal that my M.D. wondered why I was even at the appointment. I am not saying this to brag….”ooohhh – look who is soooo healthy”. The point is, if you don’t do it properly – you may finally get to the size you were in high school but your hair and skin look like you are heading for retirement , nothing may “get between you and your calvins” – what does it matter if you look great in your new jeans when the only person seeing it is the pharmacist?

Everything in moderation. Exercise 20 – 30 minutes a day. Eat your veggies. Educate yourself. Love yourself. You are worth it.

 

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized, Women, writing

What road are you taking?

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Been sitting here staring at the screen, then I begin to type, then I hit delete, then stare at the screen once again. This is what happens to me when I am holding back. When I worry about other’s opinions of what I am about to write. As I was hitting delete for the twentieth time, I had one of my LIGHTBULB! moments.

This is what woman do in the Salon, everyday. We show them the color swatch book, they gaze adoringly at the red hair swatch, they say “Lets do it!”, then they look around at the other women in the Salon and with a shaking hand and voice to match they say “Ummm, ahh, maybe I should take a look again”. We hand the color swatch book back to them, they flip back to the browns, sigh, and then say “better stick to the usual…what would people think?”.

If you are familiar with my blog, you know I am a firm believer of being your own person, doing what you want and the hell with what others think. Yeah, yeah, I know…I started off today’s tale worrying about the thoughts of others. Give a girl a break would ya? I am a work in progress…and see, I am writing about what I want. Now, back to the tale at hand.

As women (sometimes the gents, but mostly it’s the ladies), we worry far too much about other’s opinions of our hair to our child rearing. Everyday I meet a woman who has a hairstyle she didn’t want, thinks she is too fat to go to the gym, has a hair color she detests, or is buying a product that she hates the smell of. The reason? It’s always the same…fear of what people will think. Don’t get me wrong…no judgment here. I have been that woman, and from time to time I have to keep that old girl at bay. I have had haircuts that made me cry. Hell, forget the gym, at one point I thought I was too fat to walk around the block. I have had hair color that, lets just say, was not me. I have used products that reminded me of a skunk in heat. All because of fear of the opinion’s of others, or fear of upsetting the apple cart.

In the big scheme of life and all it’s mysteries I may not know much, but I know this. It isn’t all about you (hardest pill for yours truly to swallow) and all that matters is YOUR OPINION. Oh…and screw them. Yeah, I said it. Now I have the hair style I want, I no longer think I am too fat to walk around the block, hell, I don’t think I am fat at all. I LOVE my hair color…blonde with dark underneath (so when my  roots show it looks like it’s on purpose…smoke and mirrors my friends…smoke and mirrors) and all my hair products remind me of the beach and the spring. Oh, believe me, I am still told that I should change my hairstyle, usually by someone who hated their own hair. I am told that I could still stand to lose a few, usually by someone who is trying to be skinny for their spouse, instead of being healthy and fit and supporting her husband’s dietary restrictions like yours truly. I am told that my blonde looks fake…well duh…my roots are dark… and I am constantly being told there is something else I should be using for my hair, usually by a rep. trying to bring in a new line,(which is excusable…they are just trying to do their job.).

Don’t get me wrong. It’s a tough road. It’s also one hell of a high road most days, so high I need to strap on an oxygen mask, but it is the road I would choose over any other. It is the road to personal redemption, to happiness, to wanting to look in the mirror at your reflection and liking who is looking back at you, the woman with the rockin’ hairstyle and awesome color.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

You wanna keep that finger?

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I hear the familiar chirp of the door chime. A woman enters the shop and comes up to the counter. I greet her “Hi there, what can I help you with?”. With pointed finger she quipped “What happened to you? How’d you get that?” is what this lovely woman thought was the proper response to my inquiry. You see, I have a scar on my neck, courtesy of two thyroid surgeries. I tend to forget I have it but then I can always rely on someone emerging from the shallow end of the gene pool to remind me.

For an instant, I must admit I was angry and insulted, especially when asked “why don’t I cover it up”, but then remembered you can’t fix stupid. You see, I really do forget I have my scar. The surgeries were over 8 years ago. I was fortunate enough not to have cancer. My scars do not define who I am. I tend to forget that there are people out there that are miserable and petty and only feel good when making others feel bad and as I type these words I hear my father’s voice “not everyone is like you kiddo”.

I have had friends buy me a necklace just to tell me they bought it thinking it would cover my scar nicely. I have had people tell me about all the creams on the market that will help get rid of my scar. Once and for all, to be clear, I don’t mind it and I really do forget I have it, how I wish you would too.

My scar does not define me just as someone’s hair color, tattoo’s or piercing’s defines them. Seriously, ladies and gents, I know you all went to grade school and at some point someone, somewhere told you it wasn’t nice to point.

 

 

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, Uncategorized

You don’t want ’em? I’ll take ’em.

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Again, my intention for today’s tale was to tell you all about the awesome mousses out there, alas, I am in need of telling another tale. On twitter (yeah, I’m on twitter too….I am everywhere), I saw that Tabatha Coffey had tweeted whatever happened to professionalism and integrity, which is what I found myself thinking yesterday. You see, I am working this weekend, Saturday and Sunday – not my usual schedule. Yeah, working the weekend  at 40 is a bummer but my PTG (part time girl) is awesome and deserved a weekend away. (oh, to be 21. ).

Anywho, I am finding myself quite thankful for working this weekend. Yes, it helps that it is raining, I will admit. The reason for my gratitude is not just because of Mother Nature but that I have been present to help women in desperate need of help and advice, be it with beauty advice or just having someone listen to them for one minute.

One woman is in the midst of chemo for the second time and is afraid of losing the hair she has left and her stylist told her to get a wig. So I introduced her to the Nioxin hair care line. Once her chemo is completed it may be the answer for her. Nioxin is formulated to help stop hair loss in its tracks and in many circumstances the hair that has been lost grows back. I have seen it with my own eyes on many occasions – no worries my lovelies, I will tell the tale of Nioxin soon.

I have seen 3 women in two days that have had improper removal of their gel/shellac/acrylic nails and they have come into the shop with their heads hanging low and hardly able to open the door because their fingers are so red and their nails are as white as fresh fallen snow. The culprits? Soaking in a bowl of acetone and the ever evil dremel tool. (Dremel tools are great…for DIY’s and crafts ladies…not your fingernails.). The one woman was on anti-fungal medication because the tools at the nail place she went to were not cleaned and disinfected properly – so not only does she have sore hands and fingers, she has to get her liver function checked every two weeks. ( The oral medication you must take for fungal infections can damage your liver). Please…read my tale “put my hand where?”. Tell your friends. Thank you…and NEVER be ashamed! It was not your fault. Keep your chin up…if only to reduce the look of a double chin in pictures.

I met a woman who’s hair was meant to be blonde, but that was not her outcome. A stylist told her to buy a purple shampoo to get rid of the brassy tone left on her hair. Ladies and Gents – to be clear – purple/blue shampoo’s will remove brassy tones on blondes and people with grey/silver hair – the brassy tones caused by product/pollution/nicotine build up. If you color turns out brassy – no amount of purple/blue shampoo is going to diminish that brass. You need to go back to the stylist and you need a toner. * DO NOT try to do this yourself.

A woman came in to buy a flat iron and had been told by her stylist that if the cost isn’t over $200.00 (like at her Salon I was to find out) that the flat iron was “crap” , classy move, I know. So I explained the differences between all the flat irons and their features. I asked her if she travels alot, and low and behold she travels to Europe. So I explained Universal Voltage and why she needed her flat iron to have it (short explanation – so it won’t set on fire or short out). I let her know I was familiar with the flat iron her stylist had told her about and that it was not universal voltage. She ended up informed, happy and with the right product- universal voltage, auto shut off, up to 450 degrees Fahrenheit and spent under $100.00.

As promised on my first entry, these tales will sometimes be product knowledge, tales from the customer’s perspective, tales from the stylist’s perspective and from my perspective…well… a lot from my perspective it seems. Today’s tale is to help wake up the stylists, nail techs, and Salon owners to educate yourselves, use the proper techniques and procedures, pay attention to your clients, listen to them. Also, inform yourselves about other products out there that you may not sell so that you can tell your clients about something comparable that you sell. Don’t get me wrong, I love selling products to your clients, I don’t understand why you don’t and your clients wonder the same thing, trust me, I hear it everyday.

 

 

Beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, Uncategorized

Some things you can’t “un-see”…

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I am an inquisitive person. There isn’t much I don’t want to learn about or see. That being said, lets begin today’s tale, shall we?

In my years in the beauty biz I have had many questions posed to me… “What is the difference between Root Boost and Mousse?”, “What is a good conditioning treatment?”, “How do I get the brassy tones out of my blonde?”. Many times I have had women (and men) show me their receding hair line, or their hang nail and ask what to do about it. There are a few things I nor any other person except your physician should see. “Excuse me…can you help me” is what I hear. As I look up, I see something I will never un-see. I kid you not, there was a woman standing by the counter, showing me the red bumps on her bikini line (and she did not look like Christie Brinkley nor have the body of Jillian Michaels – yeah – I said it). “Do you have anything that would help with this?!” As I looked over my shoulder, praying to see a camera, I answered “uh…yes, I do. You can cover that up now.”. I kindly let her know that next time all she has to do is tell us she has red bumps from waxing, we know what she is talking about, we know what it looks like.

Another thing for the physician – if your scalp has bleeding, oozing scabs on it, please don’t show me. If you must tell me..alright ….but don’t show me…I am sure I can picture it in my head. I know I am in a Salon, I know I have masses of product to sell you – what you need in this situation is a physician, pharmacist, exorcist…take your pick.

Last but not least….Hands. I know we have nail biters (I was when I was a child – no judgments), I know some of you pick at your cuticles…don’t recommend it but hey…whatever floats your boat. Just so you know (feel free to share this tidbit of info. with the masses), when your nails or cuticles are bleeding – not a good idea to be touching all the product on the shelves or opening up said products.

I wonder what I will see today….

Beauty, health and wellness, Uncategorized

I didn’t pay for that…

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It happened again. How many of these tales begin with this phrase? To my dismay, many of them. The reason for this blog.  I heard the door chime and looked up to see a woman hobbling into the salon, wincing with every step. I knew something was up for it was a chilly morning and although she had on a winter coat she was wearing sandals. She came up to me, a mixture of pain, despair and anger in her eyes – the same look I have seen at Christmas when a parent NEEDS THAT TOY. She pleaded for my help, “I can’t go back there! What can I do? Do you sell anything I can use to fix this?” she cried. I came out from behind the counter and silently reminded myself “do not look horrified – keep it together” & “where is my hand sanitizer”. As I turned the corner I saw it. The results of a poor pedicure. I’m not talkin’ poor polish placement people. I am speaking of infection. Fungal infection. The results of an unsanitary Salon, poor cleaning and sanitizing of tools and pedicure implements.

Now, I know how great pedicures feel and how pretty your hard working tootsie’s look with a diamond or flower on your big toe and the bonus of the pedicure costing only $15.00! I cannot stress this point enough – more often than not – you get what you pay for! Yes, there are some Nail Salon’s that are affordable and do great work. There are many more that do not. When going to your next nail appointment, remember to look for or ask about the following;

– When you sit down – make sure the manicure table / pedicure chair is clean – not being cleaned as you sit there.

– Make sure it is new water in the pedicure basin

– For a manicure/gel removal – if you see a bowl of acetone – don’t put your hand in it (refer to blog – put my hand…where?) Ask for the proper removal system.

– All tools should be clean – all Nail Salon’s should have the proper cleaning solutions. Ask to see what they are using to clean the tools – if it is Windex and paper towel – RUN. Most Salon’s will keep your personal nail files/emery boards in a separate container for you and use them only on you at each visit.

– Visiting a Nail Salon for the first time? Make sure the nail files/emery boards are new – fresh out of a new package. Look at the tools they are using – if the nail tech blows on the credo knife or wipes it on her pant leg before she begins….not a good sign.

– This is a BIGGIE! – if you see something that looks like white powder on any tools they are using – it’s not powder – that is someone else’s skin or nail. Yeah – I said it. The jig is up. Ask for another tool to be used.

-Another BIGGIE! – those brown marks on the stainless steel tool or nail bit – not rust my friends – potentially dry blood.

Clean tools and implements and a sanitary environment will protect you from fungal infections, but more importantly from blood born diseases, such as forms of hepatitis.

I know, you think I sound like a raving lunatic. So be it – call me crazy. I can take it. What I cannot take is seeing women and men being mistreated by unprofessional shoddy work. Just because someone says they are an Nail Tech or Esthetician does not mean they are one. Esthetician’s and Nail Tech’s should have a diploma to prove they have had formal training – not only in services but in sanitizing and disinfecting their tools, and protecting their clients and themselves.  ( * If the diploma has rainbows and stars on it…..you may want to reconsider the chair you are sitting in)

If you are at a restaurant and there is a water mark on your fork and you are able to ask for a new fork or if there is food stuck on your plate and you will ask for your dinner to be complimentary,  I think you are able to do the above.

The only fungus coming home with you should be the mushroom’s on the pizza you picked up on your way home.