Beauty, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, writing

…I was just being nice

September 14, 2015 That Girl in the Red Coat 2 Comments

It’s been a while since a new tale, I know. Thank you for your patience and continued support. It’s safe to say that after the past couple of months, yours truly has many a tale to tell and that I am graciously happy to see the arrival of September. Change is a good thing, and do I ever need a change of scenery, as do many of those I hold dear. In the next weeks I will have tales of woe, tales of truth (everyone’s favorite), tales of business and of pleasure. Today’s tale is of a different sort. I am not sure what category it falls under…is “reality T.V. is not real life” a category? I think it is, and so today’s tale falls under said category.

I am not sure when it happened. Maybe I missed the email. Did I miss a mass Facebook invite? Was it trending on twitter and I was a twit who missed it? I have been racking my brain trying to figure out where and when it all began….when did being polite and courteous of others become misconstrued as flirtation and foreplay? I hold the door open behind me at the bank for a couple, the gent smiles and thanks me, the lady (being polite…minding my manners) scowls at me and grabs a holder tight on her gent’s arm. Honey, the only withdrawal I am after is my $100.00 from the ATM. I have a customer that I have had to stress at great lengths that I am quite content in my marriage, all because I told him that I thought his grey hair was dashing and really suited him and he shouldn’t color it.

Maybe it has something to do with social media. Lets be honest here folks…it’s kind of narcissistic. It is. Most of the time we are posting “about me”. Sure, we mention our loved ones, our destinations, etc… . In the end, it comes down to “look at me”. Yes, I know, I am writing a blog about my thoughts and idea’s…believe me, the irony is not lost. In the age of Reality T.V. , selfies and pelfies – a little term I made up for my single friends who are sent pictures of penises from men they have not yet met, only typed hello to on a dating site. Since we are on the topic, if you are a gent who likes to post his significant other or “you know a guy” who does, first – don’t do that. Second – seriously, don’t do it. Third – if you must, try being a little more artistic ok? Having your Mom’s crocheted plant holder with a dead plant in it while you have a superman towel over your shoulders needs to be rethought…as does the idea of posting that pic…just sayin’. Back to the tale at hand.

Being me, I had to make a list. Those of you familiar with my tales know it’s kind of my thing.

– When you look upset and a co worker asks if you are alright, it does not mean that they want to sleep with you. …maybe, just maybe, they are empathetic.

– When someone compliments your new pants, it does not mean that they want to get in them. ….wait for it…there you go.

– When a man other than your husband notices your new hair’do, that doesn’t mean that your husband is having an affair, or that you should begin one with the complimentary gent.

– Just because someone tells you something about themselves, like “I prefer Coca Cola over Pepsi”, this does not mean that they see you as a better confidant than their spouse.

– When a woman over forty shows her cleavage, it does not automatically mean she is a cougar. Trust me, being a woman with a killer rack – yeah I said it, and you surpass the DD’s…your gonna have cleavage, even in a turtle neck.

– When you think someone of the same sex is good looking, you don’t need to start rethinking your sexuality and start posting status updates about it. Some people are just meant to be looked at, plain and simple and like a work of art, they are admired. …Have you seen P!nk lately? Don’t get me started on Jon Bon Jovi…

– Porn is not real life. If you are looking for a police officer to “frisk you” – the only way that’s going to happen is if you get arrested. Stop basing your bedroom ideals on literature and film. It’s not fair to you or your partner.

– Ladies, when a married male coworker gives you a birthday gift, 9 out of 10 times – his wife bought it and told him to give it to you. …so you may want to re-think the flirty thank you texts.

Here’s the deal. When someone is being kind to you, it doesn’t mean they want to run off with you. I am 43 and I know that there are player’s out there and that yes, getting it on is the motive of some people, but not all. Once and for all, when I show concern, consideration or kindness, I really am just being nice.

Beauty, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

Reflections of reality

July 9, 2015 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

Today’s tale is for all those who are struggling, be it with your finances, your boss, your significant other, your hair or lack there of. Most importantly, for those who are struggling with yourself. If there is one thing you take from today’s tale and keep it in your pocket, it is this – you are not alone and it will get better. Everyone, I mean everyone is struggling with something or someone. Everyone.

Over the past months many of those that I hold dear, clients, friends and family alike have been facing struggles. Struggles with their friends, their loved ones and with themselves. One commonality they all seem to be facing? Judgement and ridicule, and that in itself is the worst part of the struggle. Opening up about your life or asking for help is the most difficult thing to do because of the fear of not being taken seriously. The voice of self doubt can be deafening. Judging someone on what you deem to be a lack of “being able to deal” is cruel, plain and simple. This is their journey, not yours. You see the world one way, they see it another. Here’s the deal, it is their reality, it is real to them, and needs to be honored as such. It is also their story to tell, not yours. Gossip is tacky, and ugly. Nothing good ever comes from it. Ever.

We have all struggled with reflection. For those familiar with my Salon Tales, you are well aware of my past self image issues. The difficulty with dealing with your reflection is that we aren’t just dealing with our reflections in the mirror. We are dealing with the reflections in our mind….and those nasty bastards can be hard to keep quiet. We all have the shoulda, coulda, woulda scenario’s playing and replaying in our minds -and there is nothing worse than when a friend or loved ones points them out for now our reflection has become reality.

To those who are reading this who have been the victim of judgement and ridicule, it’s time to turn those experiences around. Do not feel weak that you opened up. Be proud of yourself, feel heroic even, for you had the courage to open up, to let others know about those things that people don’t talk about at parties. Showing a weakness takes strength. Try not to judge those who judge you – calm down, I’m not gonna bring in J.C. and try to save your soul – I’m saying try not to judge them because 1) why waste your energy on someone who isn’t wasting theirs on you and 2) they need your sympathy and your empathy for they are feeling the same way you do, they just aren’t able to talk about it.

Everyone, I mean everyone at some point has; hated their hair, thought they were ugly, thought they were stupid, felt fat, felt alone, felt inadequate, lost attraction in their spouse, feared their spouse was no longer attracted to them, felt like a bad parent because they needed their child to just shut up for a minute, felt they were a bad friend because they wanted to put their own needs above another’s…the list is endless.

My hope for all who read this today is that you find some peace today, be it for a minute, an hour or more. May serenity finds it’s way to your door. May the reflections of your reality begin to bring hope, light and love.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized

15 minutes is all it takes

March 23, 2015 That Girl in the Red Coat 2 Comments

Today’s tale is for the victims of dry, damaged and/or over processed tresses. In the age of flat irons, highlighting, ombres, sombres, smoothing systems and the ever popular at home it worked for the girl on You Tube blunders, we have all at one time or another been the victim of dry, damaged hair. Many of the women that I speak to at the shop all have the same concern – time. They want their hair to look and feel good. They all know that their hair is in dire need of moisture and nourishment. They all think they do not have the time to fix their hair. Well Ladies and Gents, I am here to tell you that if you have 15 minutes, once a week, you can and will repair your hair. Yep. 15 minutes is all it takes. How do I know? I timed it.

Joico Kpak. A lovely line created for dry and damaged hair. Those of you familiar with my blog have heard me sing the praises of Joico’s Kpak Color Therapy Shampoo and Conditioner and Kpak Revitaluxe – my favorite trio from Joico. Thanks to blogger perks…thank you http://www.justpencilmein.ca , I was given some FAB! products from the Joico Kpak collection that, although I had sold to our customers and clients, I had not used. Until now. Let me say this. I have been a high lift bottled blonde for 5 years. I use a flat iron everyday. I am a mother and a wife and a manager so I know the struggle of having enough time and keeping the “fuzzy head” at bay. These gems from Joico, to put it simply…meet your new best friends. * a little tidbit of info. for you…Joico Kpak’s technology is one of the most powerful, most targeted hair repair technologies ever created.

Joico Kpak Shampoo – restores your hair to it’s original condition, increases it’s strength and gives a cloak of protection to fend of further damage, finds the damaged area of the hair cuticle, instantly filling the lost amino acids and restores elasticity, strength and shine. It’s a lovely shampoo for all hair types for it offers a low molecular weight for those with finer strands and it’s rich cream based formula is lovely for thicker, more coarse strands.

Joico Kpak Conditioner – much like Kpak Shampoo, the amino acids in this conditioner specifically target the damaged area’s of the hair and the hair cuticle. The weightless keratin silicone complex locks in moisture, seals the now repaired cuticle and delivers shine and smoothness.

Joico Deep Penetrating Reconstructor – a conditioning treatment to be used once a week. In 5 minutes this gem will rebuild and refortify stressed strands. This award winning treatment is created for all hair types, length and thickness. After you shampoo and condition your hair, squeeze out the excess water in your hair, work the Deep Penetrating Reconstructor through out your hair, leave in for 3 – 5 minutes, rinse with cool water.

Joico Kpak Intense Hydrator – it’s name says it all. With it’s gentle ph of 3.5, this gem of a treatment offers immediate hydration. It is a treatment that is meant to be used once a week. It can be used more than once a week for frizzy, erratic hair that has been over processed by bleach, damaged by thermal styling – flat irons etc., damaged by chemical smoothing systems, even for those of us who unwittingly inherited crazy Aunt Ethel’s hair. Within minutes Joico’s BioAdvanced Peptide Complex replaces lost lipids, locks in moisture and seals your cuticle shut and delivers intense shine. Intense Hydrator can be used after you shampoo and condition. Squeeze the excess water out of your hair, work Intense Hydrator through your hair, leave in for 3 – 5 minutes, then rinse with cool water. *For very dry hair – leave in for 5 minutes. ** For optimum results and silky, smooth hair, use Intense Hydrator immediately after you rinse out the Deep Penetrating Reconstructor. Your hair will look and feel fabulous – you will feel and see the difference the moment you begin to blow dry.

Once a week, give yourself 15 minutes. We all have 15 minutes, once a week. If you have time to keep up with the Kardashian’s, you have time for you and your hair. I am sure that at least once a week you are in the shower. Instead of running through the list of what everyone else needs, take those minutes to sing your favorite tune and apply a conditioning treatment. Once your song is over, it’s time to rinse. Admit it, when you are having a good hair day, it’s a good way to start your day. It’s time to start every day as a good day. These gems from Joico are a great start.

lifestyle, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

Long days in short years

March 16, 2015 That Girl in the Red Coat 2 Comments

Today marks my 3rd anniversary as That Girl in the Red Coat. I had to keep checking the date of my first blog. March 16 2012. Wow. 3 years. I remember the weeks leading up to my first post. I had no idea what I was doing. I was filled with fear and trepidation about what may or may not lay ahead. I was diving into the unknown. I began my blog in hopes of educating the masses about professional hair products, helping stylists and salon managers & owners increase their retail sales and client retention. I wanted to educate and enlighten. What I didn’t know then was how much I would be educated and enlightened, about myself.

Those familiar with my blog know that yours truly is no stranger to insecurities, on every level. I have a library of self help books. I know the “secret” and that I should harness “the power”. I know Jesus loves me. Oprah’s AHA! moments lasted for a moment or two. I tried to Martha and make everything “a good thing”. I was searching for answers and happiness everywhere but where it was, and always had been. In me. I have been the woman locked in the bathroom hating her hair. I have been the woman who had the hairstyle everyone told her she should have…and hating it. I have been the mother who worried too much about other’s opinions on my parenting. I have been the woman who after childbirth was unsure of her body and let it affect her life in the boudoir. I have been the young woman who did not like her reflection. I have been the young girl who listened to the wrong people and continued to listen to them into adulthood. I have been the young girl who thought having hips was awesome until some girl told me they made me look fat. I have also been the 5 year old girl who thought she could be anyone she wanted and do anything she wanted…and I am happy to say, at 42, I again believe this to be true. Letting go of my fear of the unknown and letting go of the fear of what people will think, I found happiness. I feel content. I am proud of my daughter and feel I am doing a good job being her mother. I look into the mirror and like what I see. I have the hairstyle that I like and that I want. I love and am in love with my husband of 20 years. I embrace my curves and from time to time can be caught shakin’ what my momma gave me.

I realized that over the past 3 years the days have been long and the years have been short. I learned some hard lessons, personally and professionally. I have suffered losses and gains. I have had to stand by and witness health issues and mental health issues of my loved ones – and all I could do was offer a soft place to fall. I have learned that it is not all about me – let me tell ya…that was a biggie. I am continuing to learn patience. I have accepted that I can’t control anything or anyone but myself…another biggie for yours truly…huge. I have learned that this too shall pass…in it’s own time.

The most important lesson I have learned is to go for it. Plain and simple. Go for it. The worse thing that can happen is nothing happens and you begin again. I have come to embrace a line from one of my favorite tunes from the Rolling Stones “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find, you get what you need” and it is serving me well. By staying true to myself, letting the chips fall where they may and taking a chance on myself and putting myself and my Salon Tales out there, in 3 years some amazing things have happened and are continuing to happen;

– a 6 time contributor for http://www.salonmagazine.ca

– a contributing author for http://www.hairstlye-blog.com and http://www.visualmakeover.com

– a featured blogger for http://www.justpencilmein.ca

– featured on http://www.girlbodypride.com

– featured in Piidea’s Sept/Oct 2014 Buyers Guide

– featured in ViBrant Magazine

– featured on many professional hair care websites

I am proud of the above accomplishments. What I am most proud of are the personal lessons I have learned and the accomplishments in my relationships that followed – from my marriage, to my friendships, to my family, to my relationship with my lovely daughter. I have also learned to like myself. Ladies and Gents – if you can like and love yourself – everything else slowly falls into place. My anniversary gift for myself and for you is this;

Remember, in this life,

– the days are long and the years are short.

– You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find, you get what you need. – The Rolling Stones

– have the hair style/color YOU want

– You are enough. Plain and simple.

– Always shake what your momma gave you

Beauty, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Timing

February 17, 2015 That Girl in the Red Coat 1 Comment

I came across an interesting quote a few weeks ago and it crossed my path again this weekend, on Valentine’s Day as a matter of fact. “You will be married 7 times in your lifetime…hopefully to the same person”. When I first found this quote…or as I like to think, it found me, my mind shifted and I began to see my marriage differently. All of a sudden, things just made sense. It also reminded me of some wise words bestowed on yours truly by my grandmother Leah. My grandparents had been married over 50 years so I asked her one evening what was the secret to a long and happy marriage. “Never fall out of love with each other at the same time – that’s the secret”. Words I have cradled and held tight ever since.

Everyday at the Salon I meet or chat with a woman who thinks her marriage is falling apart. Seriously. Everyday. Most of these confessions happen as she is looking at hair color swatches. She thinks her husband has lost interest in her. She thinks he is having an affair. She thinks he thinks she isn’t as pretty as she once was. She thinks they have nothing in common anymore. She has noticed that things are just…different. Another constant – she has never discussed any of these thoughts or feelings with her husband and has usually drawn her own conclusions and has played out the divorce court proceedings in her head. Ladies, for the love of all that is good and holy, take a breath. Take another. Yes, your hubby may have changed…guess what? You have as well. Think about it. Look back at how you saw the world 10 years ago, how you dressed, how you viewed yourself. See? You’re different. You are still you, the same person, you’ve just… evolved, and that’s okay.

I am 42 years old and I have been married 20 years. I have known my husband longer than I haven’t known him. Looking back, I realize how much the above quote and my grandmother’s beautiful words ring true – I am sure due in part to my forties and getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy). Over the past 20 years I became a mother. I have lost loved ones dear to my heart. I have been witness to loved ones losing a parent. I have had health issues and scares. I have witnessed health scares and issues of my loved ones. I have been a stay at home mom. I have been a working mom. I have had financial difficulties -some my own fault, some the fault of others. I have had short hair, red hair, brown hair, permed hair – you name it – I’ve done it. Experiences and life changed me, changed my views and my perspectives. Over the past 20 years, I have been many women – always myself – yet depending on the situation at hand, a selected version of myself. I have also been that woman standing in a Salon, staring down at the color swatch book, believing that the right hair color choice would end the search for answers to the never ending stream of questions about her marriage running through her mind.

I am not a hair stylist. I am not a marriage counselor nor am I a therapist. What I am is a woman who has been married over 20 years and is not afraid to talk about those things that people don’t talk about at parties. I am a woman who doubted herself so much that the doubt began to seep into all aspects of her life – her marriage, her parenting, her career, her abilities…you name it – I doubted it. I was afraid of the hard conversations. I was afraid to ask my husband certain questions for fear of his answer. I also was unhappy – with myself – it was easier to blame my marriage, my job, my stylist for giving me the wrong cut, the scale for being broken…you get the picture. In my experience, the majority of doubts of my marriage were of my own making. Yes, gentlemen, you can get up…a woman has admitted her fault…lets move on, shall we? Looking back, many of my doubts were not mine, but the doubts of others. All day long I heard negative after negative about men and marriage and I began to let all those negatives reside rent free in my mind and then the moment an action matched a negative, all hell broke loose…proof it’s love. I am sure there were moments my husband was waiting for my head to spin around.

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, for some. For me, I try to make it everyday. A stolen kiss in the kitchen while my daughter is watching T.V., saying I love you and meaning it with each goodbye every morning and kiss goodnight, giving space or a helping hand when it’s needed. Remembering that when my husband is quiet, maybe he is just quiet. Remembering not to take everything personally and reminding myself it’s not all about me…still a toughie, but I am working on it. Ironing the bed sheets for a comfy slumber (yes, I iron my sheets. It takes 20 minutes out of my week and it feels divine and makes the love of my life happy). Remembering that although we may not agree or like each other’s behavior, we still love each other. Remembering that having separate lives (work, friends, etc…) and separate interests does not mean we are separate – it actually brings us closer together, and always remembering that although the road may get bumpy and words may get ugly and life will tirelessly try to get in the way, love is always waiting for us, if we take the time to find it once more.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Believe

January 19, 2015 That Girl in the Red Coat 1 Comment

believe – accept (something) as true; feel sure of the truth of

Those familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I am a believer that all things are possible. I am 42 and I still think a little pixie dust goes a long way. Today’s tale is a personal one – it’s going to be short, sweet and sassy – like yours truly.

Some great things have happened for me over the past weeks. Yours truly has been invited by sarynaKey to blog about their fabulous products and I will be a featured blogger on http://www.justpencilmein.ca .

Actually, some pretty fantastic things have been happening for me since I began my blog, from being published on websites like http://www.salonmagazine.ca to being invited to some pretty spectacular events, like the Contessa’s and Joico’s Spring Trend Show. Two of the best things happened just last week. The first, as I was having coffee with an old friend. She told me that I looked fabulous – from the inside out. I agreed with her. I look in the mirror and I love what I see. I feel the spring in my step when I walk down the street or the grocery aisle. I no longer fear the change room or trying on a new outfit. The second, my daughter told me I am laughing more. She is right, I am. I gotta admit it, once you start living the life you imagine for yourself and start believing in yourself, good things begin to happen. Not to get all “the Secret” on you, but, thoughts become things and what you focus on does become stronger….oh, and eating well and getting off your ass helps…who knew?!

To be clear, I still have melt down moments. I still lay in bed after shutting off my alarm whining that “I don’t wanna get up!”. I still get pissed off that things aren’t happening fast enough – as you all know – my patience is a work in process. I still look at my exercise bicycle and tell it “to stop mocking me”…and yes, I still venture through the drive thru. I am not as social as I once was – for now. You see, I married young and started a family and now I am focusing on my career, so my free time is precious and my daughter is about to be 18 and still likes to spend time with me and my hubby is still the cutest, sexiest and funniest guy I know – so they get first dibs.

May today’s tale give you that extra nudge you may need to go after what ever it is you want. It can happen. It can.

Beauty, Business, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Year End Review

December 30, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat 2 Comments

As the end of 2014 creeps forward and the glimpse of 2015 is on the horizon, my Facebook news feed is flooded with everyone’s “year review” and my Twitter feed is flooded with everyone’s “New Years Resolutweet” …(my word…I like it.). I have women coming in the shop proclaiming their resolution to be a better friend, to be a better parent, to be a better wife, to make more time for others. I have yet to hear anyone tell me what they are going to do for themselves. Yeah, I said it, for themselves. It may seem like the above resolutions are for ourselves, depending on the intention, most of the time, they are not. Becoming a better friend for your friend’s sake, becoming a better parent like Susie’s mom or becoming a better wife – a wife you think your spouse wants is not making a resolution for yourself. Ladies and Gents, if you do not make yourself priority #1, no matter what you may resolve to do in 2015 and the years there after, it will never seem like enough, you will always feel like you came up short. For those of you familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I know of what I speak. I was that woman. The woman who put everyone and everything ahead of herself. The woman who made everyone’s problems and woes her own – be it her husband’s issues with his boss to her child’s issues with the mean girls, if a problem arose, yours truly would swoop in, take it on and fix it…and I was empty and exhausted.

Now, I am not an expert by any means. I am not a prophet nor the guru on the mount. I am a woman who has struggled with self image and self esteem. I have been a woman who tried to live up to the Norman Rockwell images only to end up feeling like I had more in common with Norman Bates. I have been the woman who truly believed Martha Stewart, that if I had the right flatware that all would be right in the world. I was the woman who bought every exercise VHS tape and DVD proclaiming “I will be one of their success stories!” only to be sitting in front of the TV screen, winded and giving the chipper barbie instructor the finger. A few years ago, after getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy) and removing my head from my ass, I realized that resolutions are stupid and instead of making a resolution, I would make a change.

Making a change can be scary, down right terrifying actually. I remember one early morning, my hubby and girl were still asleep. I was sipping my morning coffee and thinking of the petty remarks about my weight loss, like “Oh…trying to become a cougar?”, my blog “what a cute hobby for you” and my professional achievements “she’s just the manager” when I came across this quote “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It is lethal”. – Paulo Coelho. I realized that all the changes I had made for myself – be it my weight loss, chasing my dream of blogging and consulting and taking pride in my position at the shop were the right changes to make. I realized that I was receiving more positive feed back and support than negative. I was surrounded by those who wanted to see me thrive and I them. I realized that those who made me feel selfish for making myself a priority were upset because they were no longer my first priority.

A little proof that making yourself a priority is worth it…since making myself a priority I have been featured on http://www.salonmagazine.ca – my most viewed article to date

http://www.salonmagazine.ca/en/news/1282-3-salon-fails-sales-rep-sees-don-t-tell-you-about.html

and have been fortunate enough to be featured in their magazine

I have been featured in Piidea’s September/October buyers guide

I was invited to the Contessa’s once again by the Beauties at Piidea

My pictures have been featured on Joico’s Instagram feed

…not to mention some pretty FAB! connections and followers on Twitter – check it out @grlintheredcoat

Now, before you think that there is no way you can make yourself a priority and be a good mother, wife, friend, employee – take your pick…give your head a shake. It is possible. If you want it all RIGHT NOW! – give your head another shake. It’s going to take some time. The events mentioned above took over 2 years. Be patient. Make a plan and stick to it. Let your loved ones know, keep them in the loop – not doing so is mean and unthoughtful – plain and simple. Think about it – how can they support you if they do not know what they are supporting? Remember that others are trying to make themselves a priority too and, it is not all about you. Just because you didn’t get a text back 2 seconds after you sent it doesn’t mean you are unloved. Having dinner plans cancelled or altered doesn’t mean you are getting the brush off – sometimes life really does get in the way.

Be kind. Be thoughtful. Take a minute for yourself. Make a change.

Beauty, Business, communication, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Women, writing

Glimpse

December 16, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

This year marks my 25th holiday season in the customer service/retail world. Over the past 25 years I have grown a thick skin. Flying flat irons no longer scare me… not an invitation to call my bluff. Snide remarks, insulting my intelligence and telling me “to make myself useful and throw this out” as you pass me the trash from your purse no longer offends me. I no longer take it personally when I hear the sighs and see the pouts when your favorite polish is out of stock.

I may have grown a thick skin, yet one action still cuts me to the quick. The look of awe in my customer’s eye when I take a moment to listen to them, the look of surprise they have when I remember something about them and ask about their lives. The real kicker – when their eyes well up when they say “I can’t believe you remembered. Thank you so much for that.”. The latter happened this morning. An elderly customer of the shop comes in every year at Christmas. She comes by to purchase gifts for her grand children’s Christmas socks (she refers to their Christmas Stockings as socks, something she called them when she was a girl). When we were walking up to the counter I said “this is a nice addition to your grandson’s Christmas sock.” to which she said “how did you know that?”. I told her I remembered her stories from last year, and it was nice to see her again. She leaned on the counter, her eyes started to glisten a little and she proceeded to tell me that she had lost her husband 2 years ago and was feeling lonesome and forgotten. We ended up chatting for 5 minutes about her hometown growing up and her Christmas memories as a girl. She wished me a Merry Christmas and left smiling and giggling about Christmas.

The moral of today’s tale – be kind. A little kindness goes a long way. Your kindness may be the only glimpse of hope someone will see today, or this week, hell…this year. Someone may be feeling forgotten and your smile makes them feel whole. Someone may be taking their loved one to the hospital and you holding the door open for them gives them one less thing to have to do that day. Giving your spot in the grocery line to the woman with the screaming toddler may give her the break she needs that day to get through until bedtime. Offering to help the elderly carry their packages to their car may give them hope that they are worth the bother. One of my favorite carols says it best…

“…and when you walk down the street, say hello to friends you know and everyone you meet.”

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women, writing

Hiding out

July 29, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

We’ve all been that person. You know the one. The one who has the answer in Math class but won’t raise their hand in the off chance the answer is incorrect. The one who knows what needs to be said but is afraid of the possible judgement that may follow. The one who knows they could rock a pixie cut but are worried their husband will find them unattractive. The one who knows who they are but stays tucked in the closet because that is where they are safe from judgement. The one who has a dream but cannot begin to chase it in fear of ridicule. The one who knows where their passion lies yet will not pursue it because the financial risk is too great. The one who has one too many at the party to fit in. The one who at one time knew she was pretty but listened to the wrong people and began to believe in them instead of herself. The one who was hiding out.

In a few days, I will be 42 and as you know, 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything (Douglas Adams – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)…I am quite excited! Those familiar with my Salon Tales, it is no secret that yours truly has had issues with self esteem and my reflection. In the past, if you were lucky enough to have me stand still for a picture, I never wanted to look at it. I was also the woman who blamed everything but herself for her weight gain…yes, my daughter was 10 and I still said I was trying to lose my “baby weight” and yes, I was the woman who couldn’t workout because I didn’t own the “right” cross trainers. I was also the woman who kept her hair short for over 12 years because everyone told me how good it looked on me and it “slimmed down my face”. Fast forward to present day. Thanks to getting the stupid cut out (hysterectomy), learning to embrace patience – that was a toughie, entering my forties, my hubby’s health issues that made me take a hard look at my diet and how I was feeding my family and, quite honestly, removing my head from my ass and finally allowing myself to be the person I always knew I was. Everything began to fall into place, from my career to my family to my weight and self image issues. Don’t get me wrong, there has been many a tear shed out of fear and frustration. There have been bumps in the road and hurdles to leap over…they just aren’t as ominous.

Proof that patience, believing in yourself, believing that you are worth it, speaking your truth and healthy eating and exercise pays off – posting some pictures because I gotta practice what I preach.

2010 (38) 2013 (41)

With my birthday approaching I wanted to bestow a gift unto you. The gift of permission to be whatever and whomever you want to be. Permission to get your hair colored & styled how you want it styled. To be the person you always knew you were but were too afraid to be. Over the past 4 years I have learned that when you dare to dream and follow that dream, when you allow yourself to follow your passion and are willing to work your ass off, life begins to get pretty good. Another lesson I had to learn, it is not all about you – another toughie for yours truly. Everyone is on their own journey and they have their own road map to follow. Their paths may not be the same as yours. Maybe your paths will cross, maybe they won’t. Their journey is just as important as yours and their hopes and fears should not be belittled. I know I put my foot in it a few times and have since apologized. Last but never least, you must be kind, not only to others, but to yourself.

Be kind. Be patient. Love yourself and know your worth. Love others and show them their worth. …it’s time to stop hiding out.

*UPDATE! Proof that when you are true to yourself, it keeps on getting better and better. Yours Truly at the Contessa’s November 2014, courtesy of the Beauties at Piidea & Joico. Dress courtesy of Netty Vintage.

Beauty, communication, Hair Care, health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Uncategorized, Women

Can you fix this?

July 14, 2014 That Girl in the Red Coat Leave a comment

“The bottle promised bright pink hair! Can you fix this?”. “All I asked for was a bob, I didn’t want to look like a Bob! Can you fix this?”. “I was told if I used 40 volume peroxide that my hair would be platinum blonde! Can you fix this?”. These, among others, are common questions posed to me and my stylists at least once a day. At some point in our lives, we have taken our hair into our own hands and realized, oh…that’s why I am not a hair stylist. The great thing about all hair mishaps? They can be fixed. Color can be corrected. Damage from over processing can be repaired with conditioning treatments. Curls can be defined and their frizz controlled. With time and proper products, even the most botched of cuts can look good. That’s the great thing about the Salon, we can help repair the damage. Sometimes, we can even help repair the damage that isn’t seen.

Unfortunately, there are some things I cannot fix. “Look at her scalp! It’s soooo oily! Can you fix this?”. “She decided to try to color her own hair and now looks like she should be on a street corner! Can you fix this?”. “HMMPPT! He thinks he needs gel for his hair…what a diva I have for a son! Can you fix this?”. Yes, I am sad to say, these are phrases that parents have said, about their children, in front of their children, to me. It is usually at this moment I look the child straight in the eye and tell them “I may not be able to fix everything for you, but I can help you with your hair.” and I give them a wink. Once and for all, to all the parents and care givers out there;

– STOP pointing at your child’s oily scalp and proclaiming it as an injustice against you. The only injustice is against your child’s self esteem

– Do not, I repeat, do not refer to your daughter in a derogatory manner. EVER. How is she ever going to know her self worth if all she hears is worthless remarks.

– Young men want to like their reflection too. To make fun of a young man who wants his hair styled just so is mean,plain and simple. I don’t know where it began, teasing men that take pride in their appearance, but I know where it is going to end. Right here. Right now.

– When your teen wants to try a new hairstyle, let them. It’s only hair. It will grow back. Here’s a thought…if the only struggle you are facing with your teen is that they want a mohawk…this is a good problem to have.

– If your child wants to have pink hair, I highly recommend trying hair chalk – Kevin Murphy Color Bug or Joico Structure Pigment Pencils – the color washes out after one wash. It’s a win/win. Your child gets to have fun colors in their hair without the damage and you get to have a tantrum free day.

– For your curly haired cherubs – First, stop referring to their head as a tangled horrible mess. Second, invest in Salon Professional products. DevaCurl is an amazing product line, created for curls of every type. Check out the awesome tutorials on their website http://www.mydevacurl.com

– If your son wants long hair – do not tell him long hair is for girls. If your daughter wants short hair – do not tell her short hair is for boys. If you are worried about what people will think, sorry to tell you this, that is your problem – not your child’s. *this being said, as their parent, be sure to help them style their hair, or have the stylist teach them.

I am a mother and I have put my foot in it many times, of that I am certain. Another certainty…that I have needed to apologize on many an occasion, not necessarily for what I said, but how I said it. As parents, we teach our children to think before they speak. I think it’s time we taught ourselves the same lesson.