health and wellness, lifestyle, That girl in the red coat, writing

Step back

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It may have taken 22 years, but yours truly took a vacation. Yes, you read that correctly, 22 years. My beloved and I flew across the country to Vancouver, rocked out to the Def Leppard/Journey concert, ate at Gotham, the best steak house in town, strolled the streets of GasTown, Burnaby, and the glorious waterfronts with mountains on every horizon. We ate breakfast at a “You gotta eat here” restaurant. It was lovely. Except for a few Facebook posts and Instagram stories for our family and friends, yours truly unplugged from social media, my blog, my job, my day to day stresses, my to do lists, everything. I was present in every hour and every minute of my day. My hubby and I were able to complete conversations, to sit in silence together and just be. Time moved slower in Vancouver, maybe I was in vacation mode, maybe it was the scent of Mary Jane in the air around every corner (I shit you not.). All I know is I felt more zen than I had in a while, and the lovely thing is that feeling of zen flew home with me back to Ontario.

Over the past months, as you are well aware, I have been trying to find my place in this blogging arena. I started as a beauty blogger, giving tips and tricks and product knowledge. I wrote of my daily retail experiences and customer dramas…the lady thinking I stole her light bulb, the countless ladies showing me their ingrown hairs along their bikini line, the gents asking me about how to trim their nether regions….check out my Tales of Truth series for the full effect. I also wrote about lifestyle, kindness, the ugly things we don’t talk about at parties – and to tell you the truth, those were the blogs that flowed out of me, that were the best received and that brought me the most fulfillment and in turn ,the most opportunities. One of the things I learned while in Vancouver, other than those folks like their marijuana, is that I wasn’t being true to myself where my writing is concerned. I was trying to hold on to who I used to be and what I used to write about. I am no longer that woman, career wise or in my own mind. She still resides within me, but she has changed. She has matured, She has been through some shit and come out clean on the other side. She has something to offer. I have something to offer. I cannot articulate my reasoning. All I know is that it is time to stop being afraid of what may or may not lie ahead. Change is a good thing. Stepping back makes inspiration move forward.

I will continue to write product reviews and how to’s, for I love to help women and men feel good about their hair and in turn their appearance. I will continue to tell my Tales of Truth because I find it amazing the things people say to complete strangers, it’s funny and quite frankly cathartic. I will continue to write about kindness, for I believe it makes the world go round and in these days, we need it more than ever. From time to time, I may get political, for there are events happening in this world that are morally wrong, plain and simple.

I have no idea where this will lead or what may transpire. My intention, as always is to educate and inspire. To help people think of things differently, not to agree with me, but to open the door a crack to peek at what is on the other side.

Be beautiful to each other.

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat

Monday Motivator

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It’s Monday. The summer is slowly coming to an end and the fall season is upon us. With the season change comes a new wardrobe and a new hair style or color follows suit. What also comes along with a season change is a scalp change. Yes, a scalp change. Many people, ladies and gents alike suffer from a dry, itchy scalp when the seasons change. For some, dandruff and psoriasis rear their ugly mug. If you suffer from seasonal scalp change, count yourself fortunate for I know many people who have to deal with dandruff, psoriasis and seborrhea on a daily basis.

If you are tired of flipping your hair just so you can do a shoulder check or trying to figure out a way to itch your scalp without looking like you have a tick, I have the product for you! Let me introduce you to Joico’s Daily Care Treatment Shampoo.

This gem was created especially for scalp conditions. Dry scalp, itchy scalp, sensitive scalp, dandruff, psoriasis, seborrhea, you name it…Joico Daily Care Treatment Shampoo has got your back…and your scalp. This shampoo gently cleanses the hair and scalp while adding moisture. It is color safe and can be used daily. The magic behind this shampoo is it’s formulation. It contains;

  • Inositol – a natural conditioning agent that stimulates healthy skin tissue.
  • As always, it also contains Joico’s Bio Advanced Peptide Complex to protect and reconstruct the hair.
  • Biotin – promotes blood circulation to the scalp
  • Jojoba & Safflower Oil – adds moisture to the scalp while drawing away impurities

For those with dry, itchy or sensitive scalp, you can use this shampoo just as you would any other. Apply to damp hair, work up a lather, rinse and follow with a conditioner, any will do. Best results are when followed with Joico Daily Care Conditioner. Can be used daily.

For those with dandruff, psoriasis or seborrhea, apply to damp hair, work up a lather and let it sit for 5 minutes, then rinse. Follow with a conditoner – best results are with Joico Daily Care Conditoner. * you may see excessive flaking for the first few days. DO NOT FRET! This is supposed to happen, your scalp is shedding the excess skin. This will improve in 5 – 10 days. 

I have personally seen the results of this shampoo, from family members to clients in the salon. I have had teen-aged girls hug me because I suggested this shampoo and their dandruff went away. *Many teens suffer from scalp conditions due to hormones. The best feature is the scent of this shampoo. Unlike most scalp treatment shampoo’s Joico Daily Care Treatment Shampoo’s scent is lovely. Fresh and clean, not medicinal in any way, shape or form.

*That Girl in the Red Coat tip – I have found that this shampoo also helps alleviate oily scalp. I suggested it to many of my old clients/customers when everything else we tried wasn’t working.

…just think, the only shoulder checks you will have to make is changing lanes on the highway.

Beauty, health and wellness, lifestyle, Sunday Confessions, That girl in the red coat

Sunday Confessions

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Those of you familiar with my blog know all too well that I am a firm believer in being yourself, believing in yourself and when wanting something, to go for it. While sitting at my favorite window sipping my morning coffee and watching the birds frolicking on the lawn under the bird feeder I realized I had something to confess.

Last week I told you about the Joico Fall Trend Show that I was fortunate to attend. What I didn’t tell you about was the evening before. Around 8 p.m. the evening before the show I wasn’t sure if I was going to go. I was worried that it was a mistake to go, that I didn’t belong there. All the other shows and gala’s I have attended, not only was I a blogger with 35 professional hair care lines under her belt, I was a manager of a Salon/retail shop. Now that I am no longer in a Salon environment on a daily basis, I was worried I had no place at a Hair Show’s table. Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous and yes, I know I am always saying the opinions of others do not matter, and yes, I know it is best to listen to the whispers of hope and goodness rather than the shouts of dismay… sometimes, we all have our weak moments and the darkness starts to set in.

I woke up last Monday morning with a nervous belly ache. I hadn’t slept well, due to my nervousness and my snoring bed companion. As I made my coffee, I told myself, “you are going.”. I made myself post pictures and Instagram stories of my preparations for the show in an attempt to change my perspective and give myself that little push to go for it. I did my makeup, I did my hair, I put on my new boots I bought for this day …they are fabulous by the way, I said goodbye to my hubby and my girl as they told me I looked beautiful and that “you got this!”, I got in my car, put the destination in my GPS and I was off. When I arrived, it was raining and my umbrella busted the moment I opened it. Everything in me wanted to use this as an excuse that the universe was trying to tell me I wasn’t supposed to be there, instead I chose to think, “Sara, you need a new umbrella.”. I rushed in, trying to keep my ‘do in tact and found my way to the hall. As I walked past the banners and the stylists I heard my name. As others were scrounging for their tickets to get through the door all you heard down the hallway was “Sara! Your ticket is waiting for you inside, just go on in!”. Some heads turned with the look of “Who’s that?” as I walked by. Once I got in, within minutes I was greeted with hugs from former colleagues and stylists. I even ran into stylists that I had done private consultations at their Salons. Everyone asking how I had been, what I am up to and all happy to hear my news and happy to see me. Stylists complimenting my hair and asking what color I used and what products I suggest. I was able to meet the fabulous stylists and people that I follow on Instagram and who follow me. I heard “Yay! You’re here!” many times that day. It was a good day. One I am grateful for on so many levels.

The point to today’s confession? No matter how scared you are, how nervous you might be, you have to take chances. You have to get off your ass and make your life happen. I know all too well how easy it is to listen to the self doubt voices shouting and how hard it can be to hear the whispers of self confidence. If you quiet your mind for even a few seconds, they are there and you will hear them. All we can control in this life is ourselves and our minds. That is the reason for my posts and stories that morning, I was giving myself a positive visual, I was making my mind believe the good of my experience. I was “faking it ’til I make it” if you will. Here I was thinking I wouldn’t fit in, that I would look foolish or look like a loser for showing up and all the while, it was exactly where I was supposed to be and was welcomed with open arms.

Be gentle with yourselves Beauties, we are all doing the best we can with what we’ve got at the moment. We all feel scared. We all worry we won’t fit in. Take chances. Believe in yourself. A change may be just around the next corner. Grab hold of that door, take a deep breath, open it and walk through. No matter what happens, you will know you did it, that you tried and that is a thing of beauty.

health and wellness, parenting, That girl in the red coat, Women

Sunday Confessions

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zzzzzzz….oh sorry about that. Yours truly is tired. Over the past few days I was trying to figure out why I have been so tired. We bought a new mattress and treated ourselves to My Pillow – the BEST pillow investment I have ever made and I have been sleeping through the night most nights. Hey, 4 out of 7 sleep through the night sleeps is pretty great for me. Over the past 6 years I was lucky to get one good night’s sleep.

After I washed the dishes, emptied the garbage – psstt…I have a superpower, it seems I am the only one in the house that can see a full garbage can, did a load of laundry, drove my girl to the bank then to work, got me some new jeans…dropped a size thank you very much, went to the grocery store and the drug store, got home and put away said groceries and toiletries I went out and cut the grass. While putting away the lawn mover I realized why I am  tired. I have been doing everything and forgetting to delegate household chores and I have not been asking for help.

As most women do, we shoulder everything. In some circumstances, we are left no choice, for unfortunately there are partners and children who are oblivious or plain asses. More often than not, we have generous, thoughtful partners and children who only want what is best for us. It is up to us to tell them what is best for us. We teach people how to treat us Beauties. If you are waiting for your husband to wake up and his first thought to be “gotta scrub that toilet today” or hoping your child will walk into the kitchen thinking “gotta get to that floor”, you are going to waiting a long time. Sorry to say, the second coming of Christ is probably going to occur before your desired household wishes.

Here’s the deal. It’s not all up to you. It is alright to ask for help. Stop raking yourself over the coals for not being Martha Stewart, or Mrs. Brady or whomever you compare yourself. Life is messy and far from perfect, so why do you think you should be. Floors get sticky. Dust bunnies procreate at the speed of light. Laundry piles up. Dinners are thrown together with whatever looks and still smells okay.The world will not open up and swallow you whole if you don’t finish your “to do” list. If you need help, ask for it. If your tired, rest. The grass needs mowing but your new Instyle arrived, sit yourself down and read that magazine, the grass will be there tomorrow, I promise. Oh, and if you happen to drop a jean size, be like me and treat yourself to some McDonald’s.

Beauty, Hair Care, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat

Monday Motivator

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Over the weekend I was going through the archives and came across some tales that may help your Monday be a little more bearable. The new school year is upon us and I remember all too well the stresses, the breakdowns, and the tantrums that go along with this yearly event. …not to mention our children’s behavior. Some of these Monday Motivator’s are to help you with your hair woes and also to remind you that in life, you are not alone.

 

Monday Motivators – Joico Flip Turn & Hair Shake

 

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2013/10/27/what-does-this-do/    – this gem of a tale is the what’s what of styling products.

 

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/07/21/kindness-101/   – this gem has been my most popular to date. Kindness. Plain and Simple.

https://thatgirlintheredcoat.com/2012/09/25/purge-the-vanity/  – Be your own Beautiful

 

Beauty comes from within my friends. …of course a good hair day doesn’t hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

health and wellness, lifestyle, Parenting past 15, Sunday Confessions

Sunday Confessions

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Fear – An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm (Oxford Dictionary)

Many of my friends and loved ones have been going through some shit lately. Some big, some small. When you dig down deep enough, you will find fear is the culprit. Fear is the seed that is making that vine grow. Branching out into all aspects of life, family, friends, work, you name it, it’s trying to grab hold. I was talking with my daughter a few nights ago about this exact thing. She is going through some stuff (not going to share it – not my story to tell) and she inferred that I wasn’t afraid of anything. You see, I am an optimist. I try to see the good in all things. I prefer to raise people up which in turn makes me look like I have my shit together and have no fear. Sweet child, you couldn’t be more wrong.

During my 46 years in this earthly realm, yours truly has felt her share of fear. When I was a child I was afraid of monsters under my bed, my house catching on fire, spiders, bees and heights. I put my children’s Bible under my bed = no more monsters = no more fear. I wore my housecoat and slippers to bed so in case of of a fire I was ready to flee = no more fear. I saw my Auntie Jo squish a spider with her bare hands = no more fear…still a little freaked out by those 8 legged monstrosities. I found out that bees help things grow and once stung by one I got ice cream to make me feel better = no more fear. As for the heights…after falling 12 feet off the playground equipment the fear was gone. I realized I wasn’t afraid of heights, I was afraid of the pain of landing after the fall. Now I knew what to expect.

Fast forward 35 years and the fears I face aren’t as easy to overcome. My family gene pool offers ovarian cancer, breast cancer, dementia and Alzheimer’s. My husband had a heart attack at 39. He is fine. His heart is good. I still wake up to check if he’s breathing, just as I did when my daughter was a wee baby – you know, getting eye level with their stomach to see if it rises. Our lovely daughter deals with issues of anxiety and depression. I still get a knot in my stomach when she sounds funny on the phone or I receive a random text. …by the way, that is why I do not like texting – no emotion so you never know it’s context. Drives me crazy. Most of the time there is nothing the matter, but fear makes me think otherwise.

I’m going to tell you what I told my daughter. A little fear is good, it keeps you aware. A lot of fear is bad, it blinds you to what is right in front of you. We all have fears. We all have anxieties. Mostly over the things we don’t have any control of. I can eat well, do what the Doctor and Oprah tell me to do and guess what? I could still get cancer. I have no control over what happens to my husband or our daughter. All I can do is love them and remind them of their health issues and help them to practice self care and love.

In this life all we can control is our behavior, how we decide to see people and treat them. In my experience, kindness is a fear killer. It really is. Whenever I have been fearful of something new, be it work or life, I kill it with kindness. I also make myself remember all the fears I have conquered, from fear of falling off my bike when I was six, to fear of driving into the heart of the dragon – the 400/401 highway in Toronto when I was 43, and all the other fears in between.

Be gentle with yourself for you are doing the best you can. Fear will always be lurking in the shadows. I believe that kindness is light, so if you have light, there is no need to fear the dark.

health and wellness, lifestyle, Parenting past 15, That girl in the red coat, Women

Find your path

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I woke up this morning feeling lost. Wondering what the hell was I doing with my life? I know I talk a big game but I too suffer from the midweek blahs as I like to call them. Maybe it’s the planets in retrograde. Maybe it’s my lack of exercise. Maybe it’s hormones. Yes, I had a hysterectomy 9 years ago, but I still have my ovaries, so it could be hormones…the joys of womanhood in your forties. So, I plopped myself with a pout and my coffee in hand into my favorite chair and started scrolling through my feeds. I came across a post that I instantly shared via my Instagram story, Instagram feed and Facebook page. Reader’s Digest version – it spoke of patience and that what you need and desire for a feeling a free life will come. It will come. To be gentle with yourself.

My struggle with life is more of a professional one. Many paths are inviting me to stroll down them. Honestly, I am done with strolling down paths others have laid out before me. I know that is why I am feeling the way I am today. I have been taking the easy road lately. I have been choosing the comfortable options. I know better, but have not been doing better – hence today’s tale. I made myself sit down and write today. I have been blogging for 6 years now, but for some reason it began to scare me. My mind filled with thoughts of worrying about what others will think, worrying that others will think my blog has no format or flow. …and just as those thoughts almost overtook my courage this gem by Tayna Markul came across via P!NK’s Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…so here I am, speaking my truth instead of trying to be good.

 

Admitting our truths is scary. Trying to be good, hell, it’s frightening. Trying to be good is faking it, and I am done with faking it. My life isn’t all moonlight and roses. No one’s is…and that’s okay. So, here’s a little another nugget to help you have a better day and find your path, the one you choose, not the one chosen for you.

  • for those going through a separation or divorce – there is no shame to be felt. Be gentle with yourself – it just didn’t go as you had hoped
  • for those scorned by love – keep loving. Keep believing in love – if you don’t believe it can exist, it cannot find it’s way to your door
  • for those whose children are struggling with mental health issues – it’s not your fault, it is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s okay to talk about it and it’s okay to be frustrated by it.
  • it’s okay to love someone and not like them at the same time
  • it’s okay to want more – it’s not okay to punish others because you don’t have more
  • if you want something, you gotta do the work
  • if you want something, be okay with being scared
  • no one, I mean no one has all their shit together.

Stop comparing your life to the lives of others. Right now I am back at my old job. Shoe sales. My old employer asked me to come back, so I did. On my terms, with a schedule that works best for me. When I was first offered the position I thought “what will people say?” …then I remembered the opinions of others don’t pay my bills. My life is my life. Your life is your life. We are all just trying to get through and trying to matter.

Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do. Stop trying to be good. Feel the fright, embrace it and find your path. Plain and simple.

Beauty, health and wellness, That girl in the red coat

Monday Motivator

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Happy Monday Beauties! Here we are once again. I don’t know about you, but every so often, yours truly looks at her reflection on a Monday morning and I look a little worse for wear. Be it from lack of sleep, not enough water over the weekend, too much chardonnay, you name it, my skin looks a little dull. Then, a few weeks ago my lovely friend asked me if I would try one of the makeup products she represents. I winced a little for I have sensitive skin and am a creature of habit where my makeup regime is concerned. I have had many an experience with bumps the size of strawberries all over my face from trying new products. Since this is my 46th year in this earthly realm and my birthday promise to myself was to get over myself and give things a chance, I told her “give me what you got”. …and let me tell you, once again, this Girl in the Red Coat was presently surprised. Let me introduce you to Arbonne’s Makeup Primer.

               

This little gem from Arbonne packs a punch! Arbonne’s Makeup Primer diminishes the look of fine lines and pores. I found it diminished the appearance of the dark spots on my face ….thank you baby oil suntanning sessions of the ’80’s – I should have listened to my mother. I wore it for two days, not a bump in sight, no itching, nada! It has a lightweight, moisturizing formula that allows your makeup to stay in place longer throughout your day. You know what I’m talking about ladies…once that temperature rises on a hot summers day, our makeup runs down our face – not with this gem.

Arbonne Makeup Primer;

  • Certified Gluten Free
  • Dermatologist tested
  • Ophthalmologist tested
  • Contains green tea leaf extract and horsetail extract = conditions your skin
  • Contains grape seed oil = smoother skin with balanced moisture
  • The hyaluronic spheres, iron oxides and mica within the formula helps to prime your skin to create a soft focus effect = you look like your favorite Instagram filter

So, take it from this gal, if you are looking to brighten your day and your face and keep your perfect cat eye in place, you are gonna love the Arbonne Makeup Primer.

health and wellness, lifestyle, Sunday Confessions

Sunday Confessions

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As I sit here by my favorite window I can hear the rain falling and with it a much needed cool summer breeze. I have been wondering what to write about this fine Sunday. It seems I am having one of those mornings where ideas and memories are flooding my mind at the same time. I get inspiration for today’s tale then WHAMMO! I am hit with a memory – some good, some, not so good. I haven’t been sleeping as soundly as I would like lately, and all I keep thinking about is Shug Avery from the Color Purple singing “…can’t sleep at night. And you wonder why. Maybe God is tryin’ to tell you something.”. Now, I have no clue what God, the universe, the smurfs – take your pick are trying to tell me. All I know is something, somewhere is out of whack. Sure I could blame it on planets in retrograde, or the fact that we were dealing with record high temperatures and humidity…but I do believe that would be an excuse, not a reason.

Maybe the reason for my lack of sleep and feeling of unrest is to share it, to let whomever reads this know that you are not alone. That it’s okay to wonder about your life choices, to question your actions and the actions of others. To feel like something, somewhere is not as it should be. That there is a difference between being paranoid and being aware. That it’s okay to take time to figure yourself out, be it meditating, prayer, reading, walking through a forest – whatever you need to do to get back to you. Life pulls us in every direction. Now more than ever thanks to social media we can be left feeling like we aren’t enough, or doing enough, or travelling enough. Try and take a page from my book and see social media as one of your favorite magazines or reality television shows.

Take time for yourself, today and everyday. Even if it’s five minutes. Maybe, just maybe in those few moments you and I will hear just what God is tryin’ to tell us.

health and wellness, lifestyle

Sunday Confessions

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I have been in the retail/customer service gig for over 30 years now. Yup…30 years. I have sold everything from lingerie to sports cars, hairspray to stilettos. In every sales arena, there has always been two commonalities, the customer and their perceived attitude. Over the years, a combination of experience and maturity led me to the conclusion that not everything and everyone are as they seem. That attitudes and opinions are often taken the wrong way or taken too personally. There is always something else going on behind the scenes. I had a few experiences yesterday with customers that led me to today’s blog. Take it as a reminder to not take the views of others, their words or actions personally.

I asked a woman if I could help her, if she was finding what she was looking for. She didn’t answer me, didn’t even look at me. I let her be and returned a few moments later when I saw her walking around in a pair of pumps she had chosen. I asked her how the fit was, if they were comfortable. She looked up at me and shrugged. I saw the size she was from the shoe box on the floor and went and found some similar styles. I brought them to her and asked if she liked any of them. She looked at them, then at me and told me she didn’t want to buy shoes but had to because she was going to her father’s funeral.

A man came up to me, quite agitated. He was looking for shoes for his mother. He didn’t know her size and was embarrassed that all he had to go on was his tracing of her foot on a piece of paper. I showed him a few styles that might work for her and offered some slipper styles too. He said “Only shoes! She will only wear shoes!”. Then he let out a huge sigh and apologized for raising his voice. His mother has Alzheimers and it had been a rough week.

A woman came up to me and asked me my name. I told her “My name is Sara”. She said “Okay, good to know.”. I asked her if she needed my help. She told me no. For the next few minutes I kept seeing her trying to catch my eye and when she did, she looked away. I saw she had different styles of sandals in her hand. I went over, asked for her shoe size and showed her the chairs we had available. I told her she could have a seat and would bring over the sandals for her to try. When I brought over the sandals, she stayed pretty quiet. I noticed she was struggling to do up the back strap, so I offered to help her. She looked up at me and said “That would be great. I am not having a good day”. Over the course of our conversion and trying on multiple styles of sandals, I came to find out she had many medical issues that affected her balance and her gait (her manner of walking). She also apologized for not speaking a lot at first, for she has anxiety buying shoes – she knows people are looking at her and she knows she will need help putting on shoes. All she ever wants is to feel normal and have shoes that a woman in her 40’s would wear, and not have to settle for the same shoes as her grandmother. Long story short, I found her two pairs of sandals that gave her great support and an even stride and that I would wear. As she was leaving, the woman that came in looking at the floor and hardly speaking was beaming and telling me how happy she was, she gave me a hug and told me that now she feels she can play tag with 3 year old at the park.

Maybe it’s the new moon. Maybe something’s in retrograde. All I know is that in less than 9 hours I spoke with people dealing with a loss of a child, a loss of a parent, having to put a parent in long term care, a loss of physical abilities, a loss of a job. At first they came across cold and abrupt, and honestly, dealing with those issues, who wouldn’t? I just let them be them and kept trying. Shower them with kindness, sooner or later, the wall comes down.

The purpose for today’s blog isn’t only sales related. It’s life related. You never know what another person is going through. It’s hard not to take opinions and attitudes personally, this I know too well. You gotta try to remember, it’s not about you. If you take the time to delve a little deeper, you may end up bringing a little light into another’s dark day.